by F. C. Clark
‘You’re not fat, you’re pregnant. Anyway, when’s Declan getting here?’ I ask.
‘He’s pissed me off again. I told him not to play rugby today, it’s your nephew’s birthday. But no, off he went.’
‘I’m not surprised he chose rugby over you,’ Barney says and pulls her close to him.
‘Thanks, Barney, you little shit. Now go and get me a drink and another sausage roll – and don’t forget the pickle.’
I gently touch her bump. ‘Honestly, how are you feeling?’
‘Ready to explode, my stomach is so tight,’ Kiki says.
‘I know how you feel, but either way you will be holding your baby in the next five days.’
She nods and sighs with relief.
‘I need to check on the food. Call me if you need anything.’
I slide the last of the hot food out of the oven.
‘Hi, Kate.’
I turn to see Fiona carrying a blue gift bag. She’s standing with Pete. Even though I stopped working at the bar five years ago, they will always be part of my life.
‘Hi.’ I give them both a hug. ‘Pete, go and help yourself to a drink. Danny was asking for you.’
‘OK.’ He walks off.
I take her hand. ‘How did it go? I wanted to call you last night but Luke said to leave it.’
‘I was exhausted.’
‘And?’
‘Time will tell. I have a scan booked. But you know what IVF is like, plus the first round didn’t work, so the second…’ She trails off.
‘It will. We have to stay positive.’
The fear is evident in her eyes.
‘No tears, you know I’ll join you.’
‘OK.’ She smiles. ‘I can’t thank you enough for this.’
‘Listen, you and Pete are family to me. I don’t care how much the treatment costs. If I can help you, I will, financially and emotionally…’
‘Thank you, Kate.’
‘Here, make yourself useful and give this to Kiki. Barney was supposed to give it to her. A warning – she’s feisty.’
Then Declan enters the kitchen.
‘About time.’ I rest my fists on my hips.
‘Don’t start, Kate. She’s driving me bloody mad. Luke said you weren’t that hormonal when you were pregnant.’
‘She’s scared, that’s all. Be more understanding.’
He holds his hands up. ‘I’ll try. Now where is my favourite little man?’
‘Here.’
Declan and I turn to see Luke holding Harper.
‘Come here, baby Sutton.’ Declan takes him. ‘Let’s go and see miserable Auntie Kiki.’ He turns and winks at me.
‘Your brother is asking for trouble.’
‘Sutton boys always do.’
Luke closes in on me.
‘I think my period is late.’
‘It is. I checked my phone. I think it’s safe to say I have knocked you up again.’
‘Oh God. I don’t want another baby yet.’
‘We will do a test and go from there.’
I take a deep breath. ‘I guess.’
‘I love you.’ He takes my face in his hands and kisses me firmly.
‘Put her down, Sutton.’
We turn towards the door.
‘Hi James… Francesca.’ I love it when James Sullivan visits, and now he’s married it feels as though Luke has some friends who are normal – just with guns in their closets!
‘Sullivan… Hello, Francesca. Let me get you a drink.’ Luke walks away with them.
The buzzer goes. I press the door button. There are only a few people who don’t have an entry code. I walk towards the black door.
‘Hi!’ It’s Alexis and Charles Morley.
‘Kate, I hope you don’t mind me gate-crashing,’ Charles says.
‘You’re not gate-crashing. A word of warning – Luke doesn’t know you’re here so don’t piss him off.’
‘I will try not to.’
Alexis taps his arm. ‘You will behave.’
‘Go and get yourself a drink…’ I look at Alexis. ‘Harry told me about Damien. Are you OK?’
‘I had a lucky escape.’
‘Oh well, you have us.’
I link arms with Alexis as we enter the lounge. It’s a hive of noise and activity.
Soon all the guests are here. Tanya, Maria and Scott Parker plus his mystery woman are the last to arrive.
Everyone is engrossed in eating and chatting. As the weather is unexpectedly warm, people stand outside, making the most of the beautiful sunshine.
Luke walks towards me. ‘Shall we bring out the cake?’
‘Good idea.’
Luke takes my hand as we return to the kitchen, collect the cake and light the candles.
‘I can’t believe you got him a rugby shirt cake.’
‘He’s a boy.’ Luke smiles.
‘He’s a baby. Besides, he may not like rugby when he grows up.’
‘Maybe not. But perhaps baby number four will love rugby.’
‘Shut up! I can’t believe I might be pregnant. It’s official – you’re never coming near me again.’ After tonight, that is!
‘I need to find Harper.’
From a distance I see him dragging a car across the floor, watched closely by Max and Valerie. Without doubt they are my favourite couple.
‘Harper, come to Mummy.’ He gazes up and crawls towards me. He looks exhausted. I scoop him up in my arms.
‘Ready?’ Luke asks.
‘Yes.’
‘Everyone!’ Luke bellows.
We all sing happy birthday, while Harper looks bewildered. With the help of the other children, he blows out the candles, to cheers and whistles. Luke lowers the cake onto the table and passes me a glass of champagne.
‘Kate and I would like to thank you all for sharing this special day with us. Please raise your glasses to Harper Luke Paul Sutton.’
I sip my champagne. A single tear rolls down my cheek.
‘Come here.’ Luke pulls Harper and me into his arms.
Just then, Barney and Adam walk over.
‘Kate, Luke, we have an announcement.’ Barney pauses. ‘Adam and I are engaged.’
‘Oh my God, that’s wonderful news!’ I look across to Luke. ‘Luke.’
‘Yes – good news,’ Luke says.
‘We’re planning just a small ceremony with family and friends.’ Adam smiles. ‘Dad was a little…’
‘Jerry will be fine. He idolises you. Listen, why not have it here in the garden? We can have a marquee like the white party.’
Luke glares at me and takes Harper from my arms, clearly not thrilled with the idea. ‘Luke.’ I nudge him.
‘Of course.’
‘Really?’ Barney smiles. God, I love that he’s so happy. ‘Cheers, Sutton. A summer wedding here – perfect.’
‘Kate, I want you to give me away, be my best woman.’
‘I would be honoured.’ I pull Barney towards me.
Barney pulls away. ‘It will be bloody fantastic. Tell me, Sutton, how do you feel about swans in the pool?’
‘I don’t! Yes to my garden, no to livestock!’
‘Sage, go and get and the others and tell them we’re ready for the balloons.’
‘Yes, Mummy.’ She runs away, screaming the names of her siblings and cousins.
I wait outside holding the silver foil heart balloons, one for each child. Luke and Harry look at me, knowing today is bittersweet.
‘Mummy… Mummy.’ Thyme bounds towards me. ‘Can I have my balloon?’
‘We need to wait for everyone.’
‘Are you OK?’ Harry says.
I nod.
‘Luke, where’s Harper?’ I ask.
‘Ivor has h
im,’ he says.
‘I need him.’
‘I’ll get him,’ he says.
I feel emotional, no matter how hard I try to remain calm. Luke arrives with Harper.
‘Is everyone here?’ I take a breath.
The children cheer.
‘Good. So, we all know what day today is, and how super-special it is.’
‘Harper’s birthday, Mummy.’
‘Yes, Sage.’
‘Today is also the day we celebrate Mummy’s friend, Mr Jones. He was super-special, just like all of you, and he floated up to the sky on this day. Super-special people like balloons. I’m going to give all of you a balloon and when you let it fly you have to make a wish and send it to Mr Jones.’
Tears roll down my cheeks. Even after all this time, I miss him dreadfully.
I pass a balloon to each child. ‘This blue one is for Harper – it’s his first time to make a wish.’ I pass the balloon to Luke. ‘On three, let them go.’
‘Mummy, I want to keep it,’ Thyme says.
‘Not today. These are for Mr Jones.’
She smiles at me.
‘Ready, one, two, three… Make a wish.’
I watch all the balloons float away, glinting against the blue sky. ‘Harper, look at the balloons.’ He watches, entranced.
Thyme takes my hand. ‘Mummy, does he catch them in the sky?’
I nod. ‘He knows they’re from you.’
‘Who wants cake?’ Harry takes charge of the children. ‘Come here, Harper.’ She takes him from Luke, allowing us a moment alone.
Luke pulls me close. I inhale my favourite scent in the world while I enjoy being in my favourite place in the world – in his arms.
‘I love you.’
I look up at my delectable husband. ‘I love you, too. I miss him, Luke. How can I still miss him after all this time?’
‘Some people make an impact on your life, and he was one of those people. He delivered you to me.’
I nod and lean against Luke’s chest.
‘Kate.’ Barney bounds towards me. ‘Kiki!’
I pull away from Luke. ‘What?’
‘It’s started,’ Barney says.
I run towards the house.
‘She’s in the bathroom.’
I take the stairs two at a time.
‘Kiki,’ I call and tap on the door.
She opens the door and lets me in. I recognise the look on her face, having been there twice before. It’s called panic.
‘Come here.’ I take her in my arms.
‘I’m scared, and it already hurts.’
‘I know, but you will be fine. Trust me, OK?’
She nods, tears rolling down her cheeks.
‘I promise you, in a few hours, you will be holding your baby… Kiki, your baby is on its way.’ I smile. ‘You’re going to be a mum.’
‘Can I do it – be a good mum? You make it look so easy.’
‘Well, it’s not easy and some days are bloody long… But it doesn’t matter. I love my babies more than anything in the world, and you will too.’ I gently skim her cheek. ‘You can do this, Kiki Marlow.’
‘I love you, Kate.’
‘Back at you. Now, Declan is waiting for you, and I am waiting to cuddle your new baby and to watch my best friend be the best mummy.’
As we return to the kitchen, Declan pulls her close to his chest. ‘We’ve got this, OK, you and me.’
The day disappears, and the evening too. All our children are asleep, but I’m like a woman possessed!
‘Bloody hell, where is it?’ I mutter to myself.
‘Where’s what?’ Luke stands there, a towel wrapped around his waist, looking far too sexy. Undoubtedly, his looks are the reason I have ended up in this bloody mess!
‘Pregnancy test. It’s here somewhere. I remember buying two.’ I open an old hat box, the last place to check. ‘Yes.’ I wave it at him.
‘Don’t stress.’
‘I am stressed! I’m not ready for this.’ I head to the bathroom.
Luke walks in a few minutes later and watches me pace the floor of our en suite.
‘Come here.’ He pulls me into his arms.
‘This has to be the longest wait of any woman’s life.’
He silences me by kissing me, his tongue skilfully dancing with mine. Not content, his hands wander under my nightdress. His touch against my bare skin causes goose bumps to erupt.
I pull away. ‘Thanks for the distraction.’
‘Any time.’
‘You check. I can’t look.’
Luke picks up the plastic stick and smiles.
‘What? Tell me.’
‘Boy or girl, I don’t mind.’
‘Shit. Are you joking?’
‘No.’
I look at the white wand. ‘Fuck.’
Luke scoops me in his arms and carries me to our bed.
I cover my face with my hands.
His lips begin at my legs and move up my body, skimming my hipbone as he blows air against my clit, and then heads to my stomach.
‘Hello, baby number four. Daddy can’t wait to meet you.’ He begins to laugh.
‘It’s not funny.’
He works his way to my breasts and slides the fabric from my body, revealing my erect nipples. He sucks on each of them before moving to my face.
‘We need to talk about this,’ I say
‘What do you want me to say?’ His hand wanders between my legs.
‘I’m serious, Luke.’
His lips go back to my nipples. As ever, I feel my senses crumble, allowing him to win the game. I’m under his sexual spell. At the same time his fingers ensure I am his.
‘Luke, please.’
‘Yes,’ he whispers in my ear, ‘I’m pleased we’re having another baby. I love you. Let me give you an orgasm. I can feel you want to.’
God, he’s right – the first wave is here. ‘Shit. Luke, carry on.’ My hips sway to the touch of his hand while he sucks harder on my nipples.
‘I love watching you come.’
How can his voice affect me so much?
‘I need to – Luke.’
‘I’m here, baby. Give it to me and then I’ll fuck you hard and fast – is that what you want?’
I nod. My libido is writing a thank-you note, always grateful for his words. ‘Yes.’ My body stiffens and buckles under the waves of my delicious orgasm.
As I start to come down from the dizzy heights, he flips me onto my stomach. ‘On your elbows.’
Then he is inside me, one hand on my clit. I push back, needing him to come at me hard. Almost immediately the small eruption begins. My orgasm arrives quickly.
‘Luke!’
‘OK.’ He slams harder into me as he comes. ‘Fuck.’
He holds himself in place, leaving every last drop of his orgasm inside me. No wonder I’m pregnant – again! He withdraws, and I collapse to the mattress.
‘You side-tracked me,’ I pant.
‘Is that what I did?’
‘Yes, and you know it. You don’t play fair, Luke.’
‘Not with you.’
He rolls me to my back and tenderly touches my face.
‘Are you really unhappy about the baby?’ He frowns. He knows I love our children unconditionally.
‘No, of course not. We created it, how could I not be happy? But four children are a lot.’
‘It’s a family – our family. Besides, you’re a fantastic mum. Today it was evident – our children are a credit to you.’
‘And to you. I love our babies.’ My hand wanders to my stomach. ‘All of them. I just didn’t think I would have another one so soon after Harper.’
‘He’s definitely a mummy’s boy.’
‘Yep, and I love him so much.’
‘Besides, you’re far more relaxed with him than you were with the girls. This time it will be a walk in the park.’
‘Really? You squeeze a baby’s head out of your arse and tell me what park you’ve visited!’
He laughs. ‘Jesus, Kate, your mouth.’ He pulls me tightly to his chest. ‘I love it.’ He kisses me.
‘Did you ever see yourself with four kids? Oh my God, four kids – what the fuck?’
‘No, but I never saw myself married, yet here I am.’
‘What are people going to say, other than we have no self-control?’
‘We don’t, do we? It’s been that way since the beginning. I need you more than anything else in the world.’
Later, in the early hours of the morning, my phone wakes me. Caller ID – Kiki.
I bolt upright.
‘Hi?’
‘Kate,’ Kiki says.
‘Are you OK?’
‘Yes.’
‘Thank God.’
‘Kate, she’s beautiful.’
‘It’s a girl,’ I say, tears falling down my cheeks.
‘Yes,’ she says.
‘I’m so pleased. How are you feeling?’
‘Shell-shocked that I have a baby, but pleased it’s over.’
‘I know – it’s surreal. How’s Declan?’
‘He’s holding her right now. He can’t stop smiling.’
‘I can imagine. Luke’s cried each time.’
‘She looks like him.’
‘How did it go?’ I ask.
‘It bloody hurt,’ she says.
‘I does, but it’s hard to describe it unless you’ve been through it.’
‘Your honesty helped to prepare me.’
‘I have your back, you know that. Besides, I told you that you’re a strong woman, I had faith in you. OK, now I need details!’
‘Willow Catherine Sutton, seven pounds two, born at two twenty this morning.’
‘Catherine – after your mum? Oh, Kiki.’
‘Dad cried when I told him.’
‘He’s so proud of you, and your mum would be. She’s looking down on you right now.’
‘I thought of her when I was in labour – how bloody ridiculous is that?’
‘It isn’t. Remember what we said?’
‘Not to fear her memory.’
‘Right – use it for strength,’ I say.
