by Parker, Ali
I sighed and sat up straight to wipe the tears away. I had to pull it together. Jayden wouldn’t be comfortable sitting with a stranger too long, and I’d already asked too much of Caleb. I couldn’t expect him to babysit, too, especially after what he’d just done for me and my son.
I needed a hit. Good lord, did I ever need a hit. It would help take away the sting of the humiliation. I could start fresh tomorrow. It would be easier. I would be in a better headspace. Maybe, just maybe, Cliff had left a couple behind.
I searched all the drawers but came up empty. I groaned and rubbed at my eyes with the heels of my hands.
“You can do this,” I whispered to myself. “You don’t have a choice. Just get your shit together and go out there.”
I slapped my cheeks, fluffed my hair, and checked my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were a little pink and so was my nose, but Jayden would never know I’d been crying. Hopefully, Caleb couldn’t tell either.
When I went back out into the kitchen, Caleb and Jayden were still sitting at the kitchen table. Caleb was telling a funny story, and Jayden was giggling in a way I’d never heard him do unless it was with me. Somehow, he was instantly comfortable with the head security guard at Kadia. Caleb was not a man you looked at and felt at ease with. He was the sort of man you passed on the sidewalk and thought, damn, this guy has seen and done some shit. The fact that my son seemed perfectly comfortable was a testament to Caleb’s complete self-awareness and desire to help people feel safe.
Caleb looked up at me when I came in. His smile faded as we locked eyes.
I instantly looked away and crossed my arms over my stomach. “Are you hungry? I can whip up some sandwiches or something. I feel like I owe you a lot more than that but—”
Caleb got to his feet and shook his head. “No. I’m good. Thank you, though.” He nodded at Jayden, who was watching him with eager eyes. “I have to head back to work. But maybe I’ll see you around, kid?”
Jayden nodded. “That would be cool.”
“Cool,” Caleb smirked. He walked toward me, and as he passed me by he grazed my upper arm with his hand. “You mind walking me to the door?”
I blinked stupidly but nodded. “Jayden, go brush your teeth. I’ll come to tuck you in after Caleb leaves.”
“Okay,” Jayden grumbled. His chair creaked as he slid off, and I listened to him walk, heel first and heavy like always, down the hall to the bathroom as Caleb and I went to the front door.
Caleb was watching me the same way he had when we were in the back room earlier that night and he’d seen my bruise. He watched me like I was a delicate flower in desperate need of watering. I would have thought seeing that look in a man’s eyes would annoy me, but with him, it didn’t. He put his hands on both my elbows. “Are you all right?”
I looked at my feet and shook my head. “I can’t have this conversation right now.” All it would take was for him to ask me that same question again, and I would fall apart in his arms. I couldn’t do that. I needed to wait until I was alone before I came undone.
He nodded in understanding. “Okay. Well, listen. It wasn’t a big deal. And he won’t come back. For the record, he walked himself out on his own. I didn’t mangle him.”
I let out a nervous laugh.
Caleb let his hands fall to his sides. “Don’t worry about coming to work tomorrow. I know it might be hard to find a babysitter—unless you already have one.”
“I don’t. I don’t have anyone to watch him.” I pressed my hand to my forehead. I hadn’t even thought about that. How the hell was I going to work to pay the bills with no one at home to watch my son?
“Don’t stress about it. Let me see what I can do, okay? I know someone who might be able to help. She’s great with kids.”
“You’ve already done so much,” I whispered, looking up into his handsome, youthful face. “I don’t deserve—”
“Hush. I’ll always be here to protect you, Lauryn. No matter where you need me to be, I’ll be there.” He handed me his cell phone. “Put your number in there for me. I’ll talk to my friend and have her call you to arrange babysitting.”
I licked my lips and took his phone. “Thank you.”
Chapter 15
Caleb
Not kissing Lauryn at her door when I went to leave was the most impressive battle of will I’d ever won. She’d looked beautiful and terribly sad and oh so vulnerable. Kissing her would have been taking advantage. I knew that, but the temptation had been there regardless. I’d wanted to kiss the girl for a long time, and now that she’d finally let me in, it was all I could think about.
My knuckles were still sore when I got into my car and turned the ignition. The engine roared to life, and I pulled out onto the street. It was late, nearly midnight, and I wondered if Jamie would even still be up. She’d been the first person who popped into my mind when I found out Lauryn would need someone to take care of Jayden if she still wanted to work at Kadia. She thought I was arranging it for her, but selfishly, it was for me too. I couldn’t imagine working at Kadia if Lauryn wasn’t there. She was the highlight of my weekend shifts and the only thing I really looked forward to during the week.
I drove straight to Kadia from Lauryn’s apartment. The night at the club would just be getting underway, and there was still a good four hours left of my shift. I wouldn’t blow off work.
When I arrived, there was a lineup down the sidewalk and around the block. Smokers were clustered around the front doors. The women were shivering in their tiny dresses, and some men—the gentlemen—were draping their jackets over their shoulders.
I parked my car in my reserved spot and got out. I walked up to the doors and nodded at Jack, who opened the red rope and let me through. “You good, man?” Jack asked as I climbed the six steps up to the front doors.
I glanced over my shoulder at him. “I am now.”
Jack couldn’t have known what I was talking about, but he gave me a thumbs-up anyway and turned back to a throng of girls who were drunkenly flirting with him to try to get into the club. If I knew Jack, he’d play their games for a while, but he wouldn’t let them in. He followed the rules as all my staff did.
When I ducked inside, I was met by a wall of music, perfume, cologne, and sweat. The air was humid as ever, and I cut around the bar and went to the back room, where I shot a text to Jamie asking if she was still awake. She replied back almost right away, so I called her.
“What’s up, Caleb? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Sorry to bother you so late. I was wondering if you’d be willing to do me a favor.”
“Anything,” Jamie said. I could hear her smile in her voice.
“I have a friend through work who’s having a bit of a rough go of things right now. She has a seven-year-old son and has no one to watch him when she works night shifts at Kadia. Do you think you could babysit on Friday and Saturday nights for her? Maybe the occasional weeknight, too, just until she gets a better option?”
Jamie didn’t even hesitate. “Sure. Let me rearrange my schedule for tomorrow night. I can be at her house whenever she needs.”
“Jamie. Has anyone ever told you how fucking awesome you are?”
Jamie’s cheerful giggle filled my phone speaker. “I’ve heard it once or twice from a few of you Lost Breeds, the ones who are good judges of character, of course.”
“Of course.” I chuckled.
“This friend of yours. Did you by any chance just get her out of some trouble?”
“Maybe.”
“Anything I should know before I spend time with her kid?”
I shrugged even though she couldn’t see me. “She was dating an asshole. The kid is nice. Funny. Pretty easygoing. He’s shy, but I think he’ll come around to you quickly.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. “Are you okay?”
I snorted. “‘Course I am.”
“Just checking. I know you, Caleb. Had to make sure you didn’t get yourself hurt
tonight. That’s all.”
“You’re a sweetheart.”
“Sometimes.”
I smiled to myself. “Well, I’ll text you her number. Her name is Lauryn.”
“Lauryn?” Jamie’s voice was filled with eager suspicion. “Like, the Lauryn the guys have been talking about? The one they all think you have the hots for?”
I rolled my eyes. “Really? This is what they talk about when I’m not around?”
“Sometimes.”
“Fuck.”
“So it is her?”
“Leave it alone, Jamie.”
Jamie snickered. “You don’t scare me, Caleb Jones. And you’re totally transparent. You like the girl. You should ask her out.”
I scratched the back of my neck. “Nobody can just mind their own damn business, can they?”
“Nope. You’re part of an MC. What did you expect? Besides. What harm could come from one little date?”
“She just got out of a shitty relationship. I want to give her some space. Let her recuperate in whatever way she needs.”
“Oh my god. Sometimes, you’re too nice, Caleb. Maybe she wants you to go over there and sweep her off her feet. Maybe she needs it.”
“Maybe she wants to be on her own for a while.”
“Maybe,” Jamie admitted. “Is that what you want?”
I sighed. Jamie was wise for her age, and she was always pointing out things about myself that I knew were true. Like this. I liked Lauryn, and I had for ages. I wanted to go on a date with her, but she’d always been off-limits. Now, she was in closer reach than ever before, and I was being a wuss. “I’ll pass along her information to you. And mind your own business. I’ll ask her out when the time is right.”
“Okay,” Jamie said in a singsong voice, and then I hung up on her. She was, no doubt, cackling with laughter at this moment, proud of herself for her own detective skills and cunning insight. Although, I suppose I wasn’t a very hard egg to crack. Apparently, the whole MC knew I liked Lauryn, and they’d known it before I had.
Now scowling and moody, I tucked my phone in my back pocket and turned to head back out on the floor to check in with all my usual posts. I started at the bar and chatted with Samuel, who asked where I’d been all night. I gave him a runaround answer, which did not satisfy him, but he knew better than to keep pushing.
I was asked the same sorts of questions from everyone I stood and chatted with.
“Where’d you go tonight?”
“What were you up to?”
“You got a girl on the side you’re not telling us about?”
That last one rubbed me the wrong way, and the security guard who’d asked it was warned to leave my personal life alone. He’d blinked nervously and immediately apologized. There was no harm done, so I continued my rounds as the night progressed.
I kept a wary eye on Cassidy, Sadie, and Milly as they danced on their platforms. They didn’t seem high, and I made a mental note to go in and chat with them after their shifts ended. It was hard to tell by looking at someone under the flashing strobe lights. I’d know for sure if they were using by talking to them one on one and looking them in the eye.
The empty platform that was Lauryn’s still drew my attention even though she wasn’t there, and I kicked myself every time I glanced over at it. The night crawled by, and I couldn’t deny that it was most likely because the beautiful auburn-haired, freckled vixen was not there.
She was at home trying to fit all her broken pieces together.
Chapter 16
Lauryn
The plastic wrap was causing me grief as I tried to wrap it around the pan of lasagna I’d prepared that afternoon for Jayden and his new babysitter, Jamie, to have for dinner while I was at work. I didn’t want her coming over and having to do everything for herself, so I’d spent the afternoon cleaning the house and making sure they would have everything they needed.
Jayden was nervous. He’d been keeping a wary eye on the clock waiting for it to change to eight o’clock.
I’d been doing the same thing. I knew I shouldn’t be nervous, but I couldn’t help it. I’d never left my son alone with anybody besides Cliff, and it was a little unnerving. Although I knew I shouldn’t be nervous. I trusted Caleb, and he would never put me or my son at risk by sending over someone he didn’t trust wholeheartedly.
This girl Jamie was someone I could trust by default.
Jayden came and sat at the foot of my bed as I finished packing my work bag. He was running his hands on his knees and chewing his bottom lip.
“Try not to be nervous, Jayden. I bet you and Jamie will have fun tonight. Besides, your bedtime is an hour after she gets here. You’ll be sleeping most of the time.”
Jayden nodded but didn’t look convinced. “I don’t like strangers.”
I went and crouched down in front of him. I put my hands on top of his to still them on his knees. “I know, baby. Neither do I. But if we’re brave, strangers can become our friends.”
Jayden stopped chewing his lip. “I guess.”
The buzzer went off. Jamie must be down at the front doors to the building. I patted Jayden’s knee. “I’m going to let Jamie up. Are we going to be brave together and say hi to her?”
Jayden slid off the bed and came with me to the kitchen, where I pressed the button and spoke into the speaker. “Hello?”
“Hi, Lauryn? This is Jamie. Could you buzz me up?”
“Sure thing. There’s a bit of a delay once the bell chimes, so just give it a second.” I let Jamie in and turned to Jayden. “You ready, kiddo?”
“I think so.”
I offered him my hand, and we both went down the hall to the front door. I unlocked it and opened it up wide so when Jamie got off the elevator, she would see us poking our heads out.
She arrived shortly, and I waved her over.
She was a petite young woman with short dark hair and the longest dark eyelashes I’d ever seen. She had freckles over her cheeks and nose and a cheerful, welcoming smile. She came right over and held out her hand for me to shake. “Nice to meet you, Lauryn. I’ve heard such good things from Caleb. I think you’re very important to him.”
I blinked. “Oh, um. Really? I guess. I don’t know.” I could feel my cheeks getting hot as she continued smiling at me. I gestured down at Jayden, and he smiled anxiously up at her. “This is my son, Jayden. Jayden, say hello to Jamie.”
“Hello,” Jayden said in a small, timid voice.
Jamie beamed at him. “Hi, Jayden. Caleb told me all about you. He said you have the coolest room ever, and maybe when we get to know each other a bit, you’d be willing to show me? Caleb and I are really good friends.”
Jamie was smart. She knew Caleb and Jayden had taken to each other quickly, and she was showing my son that she was an ally of Caleb’s—someone he could trust.
Jayden smiled back, and this time, it was earnest. “Okay.”
“Great!” Jamie clapped her hands together. “I can’t wait to hang out tonight.”
I stepped aside and invited her in. She followed me and Jayden down the hall and put her stuff down on the kitchen table. I pointed at the fridge. “There are drinks in there, and I made a lasagna as well. It’s already baked, but you’ll probably want to pop it in the oven for fifteen minutes or so to warm it back up. Jayden goes to bed at nine and has a terrible habit of not brushing his teeth,” I scowled at my son, “so please make sure he does. Also, there are movies you can order online up on the television screen. Jayden knows how to use it, and he can show you. Please, make yourself at home. You have my number, right?”
Jamie nodded. “Yes. Don’t worry. I can handle this. Caleb wouldn’t have sent me if he didn’t think it was a good idea.”
She knew exactly what to say to give me peace of mind. She was reading me like I was a book with my pages wide open. “Thank you so much for doing this. I really appreciate it.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
I glanced at the clock. “Well, I
’m going to head to work.” I grabbed my bag from my bedroom and went to my son. I gave him a tight hug and kissed the top of his head. “You be good, okay? Don’t give Jamie a hard time. And have fun. I can’t wait to hear all about your night together when you wake up tomorrow.”
“Bye, Mom,” Jayden said as I got to my feet.
I could still tell he was nervous. I hated leaving him like this, but I knew it was for his own good. He had to learn how to trust other people just like I did.
Walking away and closing the front door behind me still hurt my heart.
* * *
My bus ride felt longer than usual. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jayden and worrying if he was scared or not. I hoped he was having a good time. Jamie seemed like the sort of girl who would be able to get him laughing in no time. If they had dinner and watched part of a movie, the night would be over faster than he could blink.
I also couldn’t stop thinking about Caleb. I hadn’t seen him since last night, and I was anxious about seeing him tonight. I wondered if he was going to say anything. Would he play it off like it had never happened?
When I arrived at Kadia, I pushed through the doors and kept my head down.
Caleb was standing near the bar chatting with Samuel and the two new managers who’d been hanging around a lot lately. Caleb spotted me, looked up, and gave me a small nod. There was the slightest hint of a smile lingering on his lips, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
Then, I ducked into the back room and let out the breath I’d been holding.
