Sebastian nodded. “All good,” he said. “So then what drives you?”
“You mean my mother’s driver? He takes me into town whenever I’d like,” she said with a wink.
Sebastian dipped his chin and looked at her. He had no doubt she knew full well what he meant.
“Gosh, I don’t know if anything drives me,” she said. “I like to help others, if that counts. I like children and animals. I like to have fun. I loved my father very much and miss him terribly.”
Her eyes grew moist with tears, but she seemed to be trying to keep her composure and instead wiped them away with her sleeve. Sebastian put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer.
“I’m sorry,” he said, scratching her head soothingly with his fingers. “I wish I could say something that would make it hurt less.”
She nodded. “It just comes and goes,” she said. “I start to think I’ve gotten over it, but then, something like this nonsense happens.” She pointed to her damp eyes. “I mean no one wants to see me crying all these months later. But it’s been hard. My father was my protector; I was his little monkey. We had a special bond.”
Sebastian laughed. “Little monkey? I can’t believe you confided in me with that nickname,” he said. “You do know I’m going to abuse you about it now.”
Clementine smiled through her tears. “If I had to pick someone to confess this to, at least it’s someone who lives thousands of miles away from me. I suspect it won’t be something I’ll hear on a daily basis.”
Sebastian grew silent. Perhaps that thousands of miles away thing got to him.
“So maybe I should ask you: what drives you?” she said. “Clearly it wasn’t all roses and chocolates and confetti parades in your household growing up. How’d you get from that sad little boy navigating a fragile family unit to this incarnation of you: no shirt, no shoes, all ocean?”
“I joined some school chums for holiday when I was in boarding school,” he said. “One of the parents hired a captain and large schooner in the BVI for Christmas holiday and I was lucky enough come along. I fell in love with sailing at that very moment when the skipper took me under his wing and taught me the basics. When I finished school, I apprenticed on sailboats until I learned everything I needed to learn and was ready to be my own skipper. Been sailing ever since.”
“Are you for hire? Or are you usually on your own sailing?”
“I’ve done everything, really,” he said. “And I’ve sailed all over the world. I don’t like to be too tied down by being hired out, though.”
“Doesn’t it get lonely,” she asked, “being all on your own like that? Not having any roots anywhere?”
“Roots are overrated.”
“Tell that to a tree.”
He smiled. “Well when it comes to my world, I learned early on to be self-sufficient and not at the mercy of quote-unquote loved ones.” He made air quotes with his fingers.
“But can’t you do that closer to home?”
“Home is where the heart is.”
“I think I read that embroidered onto one of my gran’s throw pillows.”
“Are you suggesting I’m speaking platitudes like some old granny?” he said. “Well then let me clarify and say that home is where I am.”
“So why can’t you be where you have family and friends, where you have some sort of established heritage, a home base of sorts,” she said. “Why wander aimlessly?”
“Worked for Odysseus.”
“Well, actually, he wasn’t technically aimless,” she said. “He was trying to get back home.”
“Certainly chose the circuitous route.”
“Typical man.”
“Now, now...”
“Well think about it,” she said. “The guy goes off and does his thing, completely not mindful of his wife or her needs. He wanders about for bleeding years, supposedly on a mission to get home, but he sure does take his time doing it. I can promise you a woman would be on the next plane home.”
“Pretty sure an airplane wasn’t an option,” he said. “At least he got to hang with a hot nymph.”
“My point precisely,” she said. “Here his wife is all woebegone and grief stricken over her long-lost husband, fending off suitors who would be more than happy to share her bed, and he’s out there whooping it up with provocative nymphs.”
“I don’t think he had a choice in the matter.”
“Unless that nymph used brute force on him, he had a choice in the matter.”
“Point in fact, he resisted her,” he said. “And then it was his crew that led him astray all that time.”
“Well if he hadn’t gone off wandering in the first place, if he’d made his home at home, none of this would have been a problem.”
Sebastian’s eyes shifted back and forth, trying to figure out if there was some subtext to this discussion or if it was something he should just let go because he wasn’t going to come out on top anyhow.
“Um, honestly, I didn’t pay a ton of attention when we studied the classics at school,” he said. “I was probably the one doodling pictures of large-breasted nymphs.”
Clementine rolled her eyes. “Of course you were. You and every other male in your class, no doubt.”
“And that’s a problem because?”
Clementine growled. “Well, because that is so typically male. You focus on naked women, you run away from your problems, and you don’t just take issues head-on.”
Sebastian frowned. “Wow, talk about an indictment against an entire sex.”
“Okay, so maybe that was a little harsh,” she said. “But just because your parents hadn’t figured out how to be parents, why do you punish everyone by never coming home?”
He shrugged. “I’m home right now, aren’t I?”
She knit her brows. “I was sort of wondering about that,” she said. “What inspired you to come home when your parents sprang this surprise reunion on you? Seemed to me that would be an excuse to stay far, far away.”
“You want to know the truth?”
“That’s a silly question. Of course I want the truth.”
“Well, for one thing, I guess I’ve wrestled with this lost sense of belonging,” he said. “Forever, I felt like I didn’t have a place where I fit in. Which was fine, because I was all about carving a niche for myself wherever I landed. But for some weird reason, the idea of my flighty mother and my wandering father finding their way back to each other at this point in life intrigued me.
“Besides which,” he said, fixing his brown eyes on her blue ones, “I think perhaps somewhere in the back of my head, I hoped I’d run into you.”
“And how about that,” she said, snapping her fingers. “The fickle finger of fate had its wicked way with you.”
“I don’t suppose there’s any chance of me having my wicked way with you at this point?”
Clementine shook her head. “I’m not gonna lie. What we had was fun,” she said. “But it’d be stupid for me to take up anymore with someone I might end up liking too much. I’ve had enough loss for now, Sebastian. Sorry.”
And how’s a guy supposed to ever win with that one?
Chapter Twenty-One
Shut down and out of luck, Sebastian suggested they both get some shut-eye, and soon they drifted asleep on the overstuffed sofa, close enough to Winnie that they could hear her if she stirred.
They woke early when farmhands arrived to tend to the horses. The magic of the night before had dissipated with the light of the dawn.
Clementine seemed anxious to send Sebastian away.
His first clue was that she held out her hand for him to shake it. No doubt a deliberate reference to how Topher brushed off Pippa back in the BVI. What was with the bizarre formality? They had, after all, already consummated their relationship, or whatever it was they had. A handshake was some serious backpedaling under the circumstances.
“Thanks for all your help,” she said, with a straight face as she grabbed his hand, completely
disregarding where that hand had been just hours earlier. No two-cheek kiss, no nothing.
“Why don’t I just run home and shower and maybe we can go grab some breakfast or something?”
Clem shook her head. “I don’t think it’s such a good idea. You’ve got your life and I’ve got mine. I mean sure, it was fun to catch up, but realistically...”
“Catch up? Is that what they call that now?”
She smiled weakly. “You know what I mean. Like under other circumstances, maybe we could try that again sometime but where would this ever go? You live far away from me and vice versa. And you have a deep aversion to commitment—not that I’m looking for it—but my experience is any time your average person starts a relationship, you’d like to think it might go somewhere. And with you, that’s clearly not on the table.”
Sebastian shook his head. “Wow. I mean, really. Wow. As much fun as that was, you’d rather shut it down than give it a go?”
She nodded with a shrug. “Sorry, but yeah. I guess I’m risk-averse.”
“Can you at least give me a ride back to my place?”
“I suppose I could do that,” she said. “I’ll have to beg out of your mother’s generous job offer anyhow, because, well, that would be awkward, all things considered. Now’s as good a time as any.”
Alastair arrived to take over the reins with Winnie, leaving Clem free to leave.
She and Sebastian walked through the field, where only a few hours ago they’d been totally hot and heavy, rolling around on the ground; yet now, conversation was stilted.
When they got to the house, Clem left Sebastian in the kitchen, while she went up to grab her car keys and purse and brush her teeth. He sat down in a cozy breakfast nook near the warm AGA stove and drummed his fingers on the table waiting for her to return. But before she got back downstairs, her brothers Darcy and Eduoardo came in through the back door after a long run. They were training for a half marathon.
They stared at Sebastian, who got up and introduced himself.
“Ah, yes, Bass,” Darcy said. “I remember you when you were just a child. You’re Princess Elisabetta’s oldest, right?”
Sebastian nodded and the men introduced one another.
“Came for a dinner with your mum last night—apparently our mums were school chums.”
“Right,” Eduoardo said. “But surely they returned home after dinner. Last night. Which leaves you still here.”
“I stayed back to help Clementine with her horse. In the barn. She was having some problems.”
“You spent the night in the barn with my sister?” Eduoardo said, a suggestion of accusation in his elevated tone.
“Trust me, it wasn’t like that at all.”
What’s with the third degree from this guy?
“You’ll have to forgive my brother,” Darcy said. “He’s lacking in social graces and loves nothing more than to leap to conclusions.”
Eduoardo grunted. “If you so much as lay one finger on my sister...” he said, wagging his finger somewhat menacingly.
Sheesh. If there was ever a chance of getting involved with that bird, this guy would be the deal breaker.
“No worries,” Sebastian said, holding his hands up in surrender. “Your sister and I are friends. If that.”
Darcy lifted a brow. “If that?”
Sebastian shook his head. “It’s a very long story. Not one you’ll want to know anything about. But your sister is wise beyond her years and has decided that there is to be no relationship, not that there ever was. So all is right with your world.” He dusted his hands off, wiping them clean of the matter.
Clementine walked into the kitchen and looked at all three men.
“Oh, God,” she said, glancing first at an intimidated Sebastian and a gruff-looking Eduoardo. “I can tell something was said here. Eduoardo? You want to confess?”
Darcy put his arms around his sister and brother.
“Your brother is just making friends in his own, inimitable way,” he said. “Probably best not to worry about it as it’s all been hashed out.”
Clementine glared at Eduoardo, but Sebastian hastened her along.
“I think I need to be back for something,” he said, looking at his watch and nodding to Clementine.
“We’ll take this up later, Eduoardo,” she said, glowering at him.
~*~
“Christ. If I had any designs on a future with you, rest assured that brother of yours would have put that on ice,” he said as they drove toward his family estate. “You might want to warn any future boyfriends about that so they can hide from him.”
Clem rolled her eyes. “Eduoardo is a hothead. I’d like to say he can’t help it, but honestly I doubt he’s ever tried. If it’s any consolation, he’s left a trail of trembling humans in his wake. You should see how he tried to scare off Darcy’s fiancée, Caroline. Thank goodness she didn’t let him intimidate her.”
“Nice to know he’s an equal opportunity douche bag.”
Clem burst out a laugh.
“Eduoardo means well,” she said. “He’s just super protective of those he loves.”
“I guess lucky for me I haven’t had anyone like that in my life who cared enough to bully people on my behalf.”
Clementine fell silent for a while, pondering the fact that Sebastian felt like no one truly had his back.
They pulled up to his once-childhood home and she couldn’t believe the place. Perhaps it wasn’t quite palatial, but it was a home befitting a princess, one who at one point had been second in line to the throne. The home was in the Italian High Renaissance style, a sprawling brick building that looked like the famed Renaissance palazzos of Rome.
“Not a bad place to lay your head at night,” Clem said after they got out of the car.
“Yeah, well, if given the opportunity.”
“Surely you lived some of your childhood here,” she said, kicking her toes in the pebbled ground at her feet. “So, um, thanks again. It was great catching up and all.”
“An unexpected surprise at that,” he said. “Helped ease my reentry into Monaforte.”
“Well, hopefully, one day you’ll find it’s not such a bad place.”
“Yeah, I’ll be sure to add that to my to-do list.”
They entered through the front door—one of those massive doors you feel like you’d need a large iron key to open.
“I’ll call for my mother so that you can do your thing.”
Clem nodded in appreciation.
“Mum!” he called out, and he started following voices he heard somewhere not far off.
Clementine trailed behind him, wanting to get this conversation out of the way so that she could get back to check on Winnie.
“Mother!” Sebastian said again.
And then they both heard it, coming from a sitting room nearby: the unmistakable sound of a couple in the throes of near climax.
“Oh, Pierre, uh, right there, yes, baby, yes!” What must have been the sofa squeaked in concert with their noises.
Sebastian blanched and Clem turned several shades of red just as they heard his father groan loudly and shout out, “Liz, fuck, ohhhhhh.” And then they grew silent.
Which was Clem’s cue to leave, tiptoeing her way right out of the house, without even a backward glance.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sebastian was family’d out. If spending all day with his postcoital parents didn’t do it to him, having the obligatory family dinner once his brother and sister arrived, with his folks’ rehash of the love story redux was about it for his tolerance quotient. It didn’t help matters that he could never again sit on the sofa where the deed apparently was committed, which was where he’d happily have gone to watch television just to escape the two of them and they lovey-dovey-ness.
The only problem was that he realized he actually enjoyed being around his siblings, which came as a huge shock to him after all these years of detachment.
His sister Mallory even surprised
him by waking early just to fix her brother breakfast the day he was to fly out.
“Mall—you didn’t need to do this just for me!” he said when he walked into the large kitchen to find her frying eggs and sausage.
“She didn’t,” her twin Spencer said. “It was all for me, her favorite brother.”
Mallory playfully smacked Spencer on the behind with her spatula.
“It was for both of you,” she said. “I love my sweet brothers and it isn’t often enough I get a chance to see a particular one, so, of course, I’d wake up early!”
“Well, I am grateful,” Sebastian said. “It’s been really nice spending some time with the two of you. It’s like you both grew up perfectly normal despite our upbringing.”
Mallory looked at her big brother.
“You know maybe you shouldn’t dwell on all the bad things that you remember so vividly,” she said. “I mean, sure, we weren’t exactly the most perfect of families, but then again, who is? Maybe our parents weren’t selfless parental units, but we also weren’t abused. We were provided for. We grew up in privilege. It wasn’t the land of hardship, you know what I’m saying? I guess what I mean is that you’re kind of focused on first-world problems. And by those standards, well, dude, we all turned out okay, didn’t we?”
Sebastian frowned.
“Geez, you make me feel so bad. You must think I’m a real whiner,” he said. “Maybe I took it worse because I felt responsible for you guys and wanted to protect you from the sadness I’d already experienced.”
Mallory came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “In that case, big brother, I give you permission to stop carrying our burden. Deal?”
Sebastian thought about it for a while.
“Our parents aren’t bad people, Bass. They just weren’t the best at relationships,” she said. “I sort of feel badly for them. But I’m also proud that maybe they’re finally figuring it out. Better late than never.” She gave him a wink.
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