by Bethany-Kris
“And probably missing the not-so-obvious from another case that needs actual help,” Naz said under his breath. “Wasting my fucking time along with it.”
Fair enough.
Luca figured ... what could he do now? He did what he needed. Naz had to make the hard choices beyond this point.
“Anyway,” Naz said, removing his hands from his pockets to rub his palms together, “it’s good to know I’ve got something to work with there—the debt thing, I mean. Better for me to go a helpful route rather than a hurtful one, as my father would say.”
“Bribery and blackmail.” Luca grinned, the action being returned easily by his best friend. “The very foundations upon which Cosa Nostra was built.”
“Oh yeah, this thing of ours ... it always comes full circle.”
Their jokes eased the tension if anything. Both men laughed, and Luca was grateful for the reprieve from it all. Even if it didn’t last long.
It never did.
Naz went right back to business, reminding Luca that the days of their easy banter, before the family business had come along to give the men other things to deal with constantly, were long gone. They fit in what they could, now. Sometimes, that wasn’t very damn much.
“As for today,” Naz said, turning back to Luca in the car.
“Yeah, that.”
“You know the school called.”
“Penny will be happy that she doesn’t have to fill you in on all the details, then,” Luca muttered.
Naz chuckled. “Oh, I’m still gonna get her to talk. It’s the only way she does, really.”
“Well—”
“What did she tell you?”
“Probably not what the school told you,” Luca replied.
Naz arched a brow at that. “What makes you think that?”
“The chances of the little puke she punched telling the truth about why she did it? Slim to fuck all, Naz.”
“Fair because they didn’t even mention something was said when they called. Just that a situation had happened, one they were dealing with, and Penny left the property. I was told they would call back with more information and any consequences to note for Penny’s side of things. What was said?”
Yeah ...
That was the shitty part.
Luca let out a hard breath, saying, “A guy said something about her father, and her ... it wasn’t really great. She didn’t give exact words, and she didn’t need to. I assume you can figure it out on your own, too.”
Because honestly, not that he would tell Naz, but Luca didn’t feel comfortable talking about Penny’s business—or the shit that happened to her because of her father—without her presence. Too many people made it their first priority to talk about the girl with little to no consideration for her feelings in the matter. He didn’t want to be another name on that list.
Not that he thought Naz was the same. His friend was the teenager’s guardian. He had every right to discuss his ward and her needs—just like Roz, too. Luca wasn’t quite the same, and he was fine with that.
Naz was silent for a long moment.
Eventually, he murmured, “Yeah, probably. Fuck.”
“Let her be quiet,” Luca said, “if that’s what she wants. Don’t push, man.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
This thing with Penny ... it was tricky sometimes. Anything but easy or simple. There was no clear, right way to deal with stuff that came up. Luca figured a phone call from the girl once in a while wasn’t so bad or hard to handle in the grand scheme. It was Naz and Roz doing the hard work behind the scenes.
Without thanks, too.
Which only made him think of Penny ...
It was impossible for him not to think about her if he were being an honest man. She was the catalyst to everything, after all. The very reason both he and Naz were there having a discussion in the first place. If only that was the singular reason for his thoughts drifting back to her, but they weren’t.
He worried about her.
All the time.
He hoped she had better days.
And now, with her feelings for him more obvious than before, he found himself considering that, too. Not that he should or planned on acting on the things she told him. It just ... was. It existed, he knew about, and so he thought about it, too.
Wasn’t that human?
Luca didn’t know.
Didn’t have the first fucking clue.
“She’s got a lot of demons,” he said more to himself than his friend. “Monsters that chase her all the damn time. How do you help somebody like that?”
“I’m working on that—the monster thing. One at a time, right?”
Luca made a noncommittal noise, but he knew what his friend meant. Hell, more than any of them, Naz made the greatest effort to do something about the people that hurt Penny. He created an entire program to crawl the dark web and hunt the predators down.
The only problem?
“You can’t get them all, man,” Luca told Naz. “You can’t kill every monster out there and certainly not hers. Not the ones in her mind, you know what I mean? She’s going to have to learn how to slay those on her own. Someday.”
Naz nodded. “Maybe, but that day doesn’t have to be today.”
“Fair enough.”
What else needed to be said?
Nothing, he thought.
“Well,” Naz said, running a hand through his dark, slicked-back hair as he turned back toward the house, “anything else you want to tell me?”
Luca considered that question.
Was there?
Yes.
He knew, without a doubt, that he should tell Naz about Penny’s feelings for him. Even if it was nothing more than a silly crush that she wasn’t acting on in any real way. Even if she had admitted herself that she didn’t know why it existed in the first place or what she planned to do about it. He should tell his friend.
Or ... the kiss to his cheek.
Any of it.
If anything, so then Naz and Roz could maybe talk to Penny about that sort of thing. Guys. Men. Him. Did she even have someone who could help her interpret those feelings? Or the better question, did she want to?
That’s what kept him quiet.
Penny’s wants.
Even if he didn’t know what they were, it didn’t matter to him. If anything was clear to Luca, it was the fact that so little about Penny’s life and mind was private. She had guardians making sure she did everything she needed to do. Teachers and counselors sticking their nose where it didn’t belong. A therapist shrinking her head three days a week. Even a fucking caseworker stirring the pot.
Nothing was really ... hers.
Not without someone else’s influence.
Except him.
And her crush.
He also felt like it might be something private for her. She did say she was dealing with it even if she didn’t know how. That was something, right?
And he was safe.
For her.
For this.
He drew a line in the sand, and Luca wouldn’t cross it. He wouldn’t do shit that proved otherwise, either.
So, did he have anything else to tell Naz?
Luca glanced his friend’s way, saying, “Nope. That’s about it.”
Naz ticked two fingers back, replying, “Good—head out. See you later.”
As he backed out of the driveway, Luca was still trying to figure out whether or not he made the right choice.
Nothing was ever simple.
12.
Penny
THE baby boutique Roz seemed to favor to buy all the things for her unborn son was so boujee that the place didn’t even have a sign over the door with a name. Instead, they entered the business through a red front door with baskets of roses hanging on either side. The small gold plaque beside a doorbell—in case someone called ahead of time to ask that the store be closed to the general public while they shopped, Roz explained when Penny asked—spelle
d out the boutique’s name in a scripted font.
The Bebe Palace.
Cute.
Or something like that.
Penny wasn’t one who could spend hours upon hours shopping at any place—never mind one that was so fancy the women waiting inside already had two cups of caffeine-free tea ready in-hand for their newest patrons. Like they had seen them talking just outside the doors and rushed to have everything ready.
She sipped on the fruity flavored hot tea while the women—both in black dresses and matching heels—greeted Roz and fawned over her baby bump. The same thing everyone did whenever Roz was in their presence. It seemed like people couldn’t help but be excited over the very idea of a baby.
Maybe ... Penny understood that.
She wasn’t any better. At least, when it came to Roz’s baby. She didn’t know anyone else that was pregnant, and she really didn’t care to. But there was definitely something about Roz’s pregnancy that excited her, especially now that they were reaching the end.
Because soon, he would be here.
Baby Cross, that was.
Penny couldn’t wait to meet the little guy she had watched grow through sonogram pictures and doctor updates. And as Roz broke away from the smiling women in the entrance of the boutique to head for a nearby rack of baby clothes, she knew exactly why that was, too.
For once, she felt ... involved. Welcomed, even. A part of something that was bigger than her, if that made any sense at all. It wasn’t like she asked for a family—of sorts—when Naz and Roz took her in after everything that happened, but they did and they gave her a home in the process.
Maybe without meaning to.
What did it matter?
It happened.
Penny was terrified someone might try to take it away from her, too. These people ... she loved them, and she didn’t want to be forced to leave them, either.
“Look at this,” Roz squealed, snatching the item off the rack that must have caught her attention enough to pull her in that direction. She spun around, holding the black leather jacket—sized appropriately for a small infant—high for everyone to see. And despite the women who preened over the item, telling Roz it was one of the cutest they had in the shop, she only looked to Penny for a reply. “What do you think?”
She knew what Roz thought about it, and she wasn’t wrong. “It’s perfect. Looks just like the one Naz walks around wearing most of the time.”
And it did.
Right down to the silver buttons and hardware. She was sure the unborn baby’s father would be over the moon when he saw it. Other than tiny Doc Marten boots, Naz hadn’t brought home very much for the baby saying, They’re all gonna buy too much like they always do.
He wasn’t wrong. The baby shower was weeks away, and people were already sending gifts in lieu of their ability to attend the party. Which meant the entry to the house was full of boxes and gift bags constantly. They changed every day, too.
Penny had finally decided on her gift for Roz, but it was more like a gift for both. She still needed to get something specific to finish the gift, so now it was one less thing for Penny to obsess over, anyway. She wasn’t going to be able to find the thing she needed here, though.
Roz nodded, peering down at the item while she still held it out in front of her. “Right? I’m getting it for sure.”
That was all the women needed to hear. One stepped forward to take the jacket from Roz with a promise of having it ready at the front when she was ready to leave. The other woman slinked off when Roz said they were fine to shop alone. And that was how Penny and Roz found themselves wandering through the baby boutique.
Rack after rack of expensive baby clothes—and other items—stared back at Penny. It was kind of overwhelming, if only because she couldn’t figure out how people justified paying a hundred dollars for nothing more than swaddling wrap when the baby was only going to grow out of it within a couple of months.
That seemed like ... a waste.
But hey, it wasn’t her money.
And she wasn’t a baby person.
Except for Roz’s baby.
That was different.
“You’re still good with the baby shower, right?” Roz asked from the other side of a rack filled with expensive baby jeans featuring tags with names she recognized. Since when did Gucci make baby clothes? “I mean, it’s going to be a lot of people, Penny, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. So just let us know if you need—”
“It’ll be fine.”
Lies.
The idea of being in a house with at least a hundred or more people—a lot of which she wouldn’t know from a hole in the ground—terrified her to no end. But she was also trying this new thing where, at least when it came to people she gave a shit about, she actually tried to think of someone other than herself.
Roz’s shower was about Roz.
Not Penny.
Or her dislike of people.
“Even so,” Roz said, giving her a pointed look, “if you do need five minutes to breathe at the baby shower, just take it. No one is going to be offended.”
Penny smiled. “Yeah, okay.”
Roz prattled on about the shower while they continued flipping through the rack. Not about anything too serious—certainly not what happened just a couple of days before at the school. In fact, her guardians barely said anything about the fight.
She wondered why.
Eventually, Penny just blurted out, “Are we not going to talk about what happened at school, or ...?”
Roz didn’t look away from a pair of toddler-sized jeans as she asked, “Do we need to?”
“Shouldn’t we?”
“Well, we’re handling it. The meeting with the school and caseworker—because apparently they decided to include her this time around—has been set. There’s not much else we can do until that happens.”
Penny didn’t even try to hide her scowl when she said, “That bitch just wants to move me in with someone else.”
Did she sound whiny? Petty? Like every other teenage girl in the world that was selfish and self-absorbed?
Yep.
She also didn’t care. Nothing she said was untrue.
Roz gave her a smile from across the rack, making Penny say, “Well, I’m right. And I’m seventeen, eighteen in a few months, so why can’t I just pick where I want to live?”
“If it came down to that,” Roz replied, “the judge would consider your input.”
A judge.
Christ.
Penny didn’t want to deal with the law any more than she had to. Once—for her father’s charges and a trial that didn’t happen—was enough. She still felt like the system hadn’t done very much for her at the end of the day. She wasn’t about to jump at the chance to trust it to do the right thing a second time around.
“And,” Roz added, hooking the hanger attached to the jeans back on the rack, “other than getting through the meeting, I don’t think we’re going to have too many more problems from the school or the caseworker. They emailed a list of requirements for you leading up to it—like attending your therapy—but you do all of that, anyway. Don’t worry. We’ll deal with it.”
Yeah, they always did.
Penny might like to start doing things for them, too.
But how?
PENNY WAS ALL TOO AWARE that the last therapy session before she returned to school for the meeting with the caseworker and principal was important. No doubt, a determining factor to a lot of things that still felt like they were just hanging up in the air. So, she was on her best behavior despite still not wanting to be there in the first place.
Her therapist asked questions—she answered them. The doctor wanted to talk, like she always did, so Penny made every effort to try.
It was the least she could do.
Right?
Anything to make this better.
“And things are going well at home?” Dr. Tangler asked. “Roz must be quite far along in her pregnancy. H
ow’s that changing things?”
“Everyone’s excited,” Penny replied.
The woman stared at her over the rim of her glasses. “Even you?”
“Especially me.”
“Really.”
It wasn’t even a question.
That made Penny’s brow dip when she asked, “Why wouldn’t I be excited about the baby? Never even held a baby before, but I don’t know ... I just want to meet him. We all talk about him like he’s already here, anyway. Be nice to actually have him here, you know?”
Dr. Tangler smiled. “I do know, yes.”
“Do you have kids?”
“Two. Both teenagers so they’re ... not quite babies.”
“Oh.”
“You know, that’s the first time you’ve asked about me in all of our sessions together,” the therapist said, shrugging. “Why?”
Penny didn’t really have to think about it. “I was curious.”
“About someone else.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not a bad thing. It’s ... a good indicator that things are changing around you. Maybe inside you, too. You’re starting to see a bigger picture and not your immediate circumstance. You’re looking toward things that are coming in the future. Instead of just trying to deal with what’s happening right now. And I’m sure,” the woman added before Penny could open her mouth and contradict what she said, “that you still have moments where it’s one day at a time—or one breath at a time, even—but it’s not all the time. Do you realize how big that is?”
She hadn’t.
Not until the doctor pointed it out.
“They’ve made a place for me,” Penny replied, “that lets me do ... that. I guess. Naz and Roz, I mean. They don’t ask for much except for me to try. And so I do. Not that I wanted to at first, but then I did. For them, mostly.”
“And now?”
“More for me.”
The therapist nodded. “A safe place. They’re your safe place. It’s normal, Penny. You went from living in a very unstable, unhealthy situation with people who only caused you pain to the complete opposite. Isn’t it time to leave what used to be where it is—in the past? Aren’t you ready to leave that place now?”
Was she?
