by Bethany-Kris
Naz sighed, turning back around with Luca at his side, so they could observe the guests fawning over silver trays of sweets that had been brought in during their distraction. “You know, I always thought our boys would be like us growing up ... together, I mean. Better jump on that, huh?”
Luca sucked in a hiss. “Kids?”
He didn’t even hide the way his voice raised at the very idea.
“Not yet,” he added.
Naz barked out a laugh, clapping Luca on his back at the same time. “I was kidding—knew that would take a breath out of you.”
Luca shook his head. “Fuck you.”
“Had to do it.”
“On a real level, though?”
Naz glanced his way, asking, “Yeah?”
“I can’t fucking wait to meet him.”
His godson.
Naz’s boy.
Fuck, yeah.
Little Cross.
Luca might not be anywhere near ready for kids of his own—maybe he wouldn’t ever be; it had never been something he gave much thought—but he couldn’t wait to meet his nephew. That kid would want for nothing. Not with him around, anyway.
Naz smiled, almost like he knew what Luca was thinking when he replied, “I know.”
“Naz, come try this!” Roz called, coming their way with a tart in her hand. “They’re the kind you like.”
Luca shrugged when he told his friend, “Hey, no hard feelings but I’m gonna sneak out of the way before they get started on the photo thing again, okay?”
“No worries, man.”
Naz went for Roz while Luca headed off to the side. It wasn’t just the photo thing that made him want to move away from the backdrop set up. He just happened to take note of Penny grabbing a gift box from the massive pile of presents at the other side of the ballroom before she darted out a rear entryway.
He wasn’t sure what that was about.
But he intended to find out.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
Penny swung around in the hallway, her shitty attempt to hide the gift box at her back doing nothing to help her case when she replied, too fast, “Nothing.”
“Oh?” Luca pointed at the bit of bow he could still see peeking out from behind her. “Then, what’s that right there?”
“Nothing.”
“Penny.”
Despite how mature her dress made her appear, she couldn’t hide her age when she rolled her eyes and made a face. “Fine. It’s ... my gift.”
She brought the gift box with the silky looking bow back around to her front for him to see.
“Your gift, or Roz’s?”
“My gift that I bought for Roz,” Penny clarified.
Then, she corrected that again with, “Bought and made, sort of.”
“What?”
“What?” she asked back.
Fuck.
Even Luca was confused.
“What are you doing?” he decided to ask, figuring going back to the beginning was a good starting point.
What could they lose?
Penny frowned, her grip on the box tightening as she glanced down at it. “Okay, don’t judge me but ... did you see some of the stuff out there for the gifts? A vintage carriage? There was even a diamond necklace for Roz, apparently a family heirloom. I don’t know. That Christening gown was designed by—”
“Yeah, people have money,” Luca said, “but so did you, and do ... with us. I guess.”
“No, it’s not that ... I just meant, my gift doesn’t really compare. To either the cost or the thoughtfulness and I—”
“Roz doesn’t care about that shit. What is it?”
Penny’s stare pleaded for him to stop talking.
Luca wouldn’t.
“Seriously, what did you get her? Or make ... you said both, right?”
“I mean, yeah, but—”
“Don’t be silly.”
“Don’t call me silly.” Penny glared.
Whoa.
The sharpness in her tone, like the idea of him thinking she was childish, was enough to earn that kind of reaction from her, had him blinking for a second. Luca played it off, though.
“Just...” Luca nodded at the gift, saying when he smiled, “What is it?”
“A teddy bear. When you press the hand, it plays a song I composed and recorded. I know it’s not ... nothing, but it doesn’t feel like something, either.”
That took Luca a minute.
“As in a song you composed recently?” he asked.
Because he knew ... Roz had said many times, and so did Naz in passing, that Penny had shown very little interest in returning to the piano since coming to live with them. And if she had spent the time composing, playing, and recording a song for his sister’s unborn baby, that would be huge. A gift that couldn’t be compared considering everything.
“Yeah, I made it just for the baby.”
Oh.
Luca stared at the empty hallway behind Penny, shaking his head. “Give her the gift, Penny. It’ll mean ... everything to Roz. Even if you do it privately, I promise she will love it.”
Beyond, even.
“You think?” Penny asked, glancing up at him with worry in wide eyes.
“I know.”
“Okay.” Penny hugged the gift closer, then, saying, “Thanks.”
Luca stepped aside in the hallway to let Penny passing, replying easily, “No problem. That’s what friends do for each other. It’s okay to need that sometimes—a friend, you know?”
She hesitated in her next step, those clear blue eyes of hers nailing to his when she asked, “Is that what you are to me—a friend?”
“Yeah, I can be your friend, Penny.”
“Never really had one of those.”
Luca smiled. “I’m happy to be your first.”
15.
Penny
IT was almost strange how fast things could change. One minute, Penny had finally gained the courage to give Roz her gift, and the next ... Baby Cross was on his way. Roz went into labor while Penny sat beside her.
Or, her water broke.
The labor pain came after.
Everyone was so calmly excited when Penny had found Naz inside the party and delivered the news.
“You were right, by the way,” Penny said.
To her companion who was currently sitting in the hard, waiting room chair beside hers. There wasn’t anything comfortable about the seats, and even then as she could barely stand to keep her eyes open for another minute, she used Luca’s side to lean against as some form of cushion.
Which wasn’t much.
He was also hard—just in a different way. She didn’t mind his hard warmth nearly as much as the cold plastic of the chair, though.
“About?” she heard Luca ask, his voice a murmur.
The exhaustion was clear in his tone. Like hers, too.
What time was it?
Penny didn’t know.
She also didn’t care to ask anyone else waiting there with them. That would mean speaking to people, and she wasn’t really in the mood when all she wanted to do was have a little nap. Once she realized—after Roz was admitted to a room where they were only allowed two support people to stay during birth—that it was going to be hours before the baby boy actually made his appearance, she asked Luca to take her home.
Not because she didn’t want to stay.
No, Penny remembered the dishes in the sink that Roz had left to load in the dishwasher before they left for the party. After she cleaned that, Luca helped to fix up the bathroom that the girls had used to ready for the party. And the explosion of clothes and everything else on the bed in Roz and Naz’s room. The laundry that had been left in the washer and dryer downstairs came next.
They also traveled two loads of gifts back to the house so then Naz and Roz wouldn’t have to worry about any of that when the time came. Once the house was in a better state—not that it was dirty in the first place—the two did a mop and sweep of the floors
just because. It was one less thing for Naz or Roz to do when they arrived home, right?
That’s what she thought.
Luca didn’t mind.
Now that the two of them were finally back at the hospital, though, she was tired. She hadn’t even bothered to change out of the black dress that Roz convinced her to wear for the party. The item, at first, only made her cringe away. It was too tight—form-fitted in every possible way. She also needed flesh-colored tights underneath because it stopped at her knees. It was the first time she wore heels in ... years.
Yet, when she pulled the dress on, something was right. Maybe it was the way she could admire how her waist looked cinched in the middle or how her hips and breasts curved to give her that hourglass appearance. Somehow, in the many years that Penny had spent hiding her body, she missed when it grew into something different.
A young woman’s form.
Soft curves.
She still remembered thinking that she looked fragile in some ways. Unsure, even, as she took in the changes that could come to her own body—and even in her mind—simply by putting on a dress. It was frightening.
And yet, she liked it, too.
She liked the way she looked.
That was just ...
It blew her mind.
“Penny?” Luca asked.
She felt him lean forward like he was checking to see if she had fallen asleep leaning against him when she remained silent.
“Sorry, I was thinking,” she replied.
“About me being right?”
Ah, yeah.
She forgot about that.
“No, other things.” Sighing, Penny shifted a bit on the chair to lift her feet and set them on the other seat. It helped with the tension in her back, anyway. “You were right about giving Roz the gift and not being worried.”
She swore she could hear Luca’s smile behind her when he replied, “She loved it.”
It wasn’t even a question.
“Yeah, she did,” Penny whispered.
Maybe a part of her knew Roz would appreciate the simple bear with his beautiful song—a lullaby Penny composed for the baby. She’d stressed so much leading up to actually figuring out what she wanted to get Roz for her shower that when she did sit down and record the song, it came painfully easy. She just ... thought about how scary everything was for her sometimes. It couldn’t be that much different to a new baby meeting the world for the first time.
So, the song needed to be soothing. Soft notes that carried from one verse to the next. A tune that could be listened to without it becoming overwhelming. Something that would lull a baby into ... comfort.
She wanted to comfort little Cross when he was new and scared. The notes came easier when she thought of it that way. Hopefully, because she really wanted to, she would be able to play it for the baby herself while she held him.
Wouldn’t that be nice?
“Told you,” Luca said.
He didn’t even sound smug about it.
At least, there was that.
“A lot has changed,” Penny said.
“Hmm—like what?”
“Me.”
That quieted Luca.
Penny didn’t mind.
Even when she took the time to think about everything that was different in her life now—since moving in with Naz and Roz—it was enough to draw her into silence. The heavy kind that sometimes came with dull aches deep in her heart and things she wasn’t always willing to face. She still did, though.
Didn’t that count for something?
God.
She hoped so.
Penny was still trying.
It’s all they asked.
“Have you changed, or your circumstances?” Luca asked.
Well ...
“Both,” she replied.
Months ago, she never would have cared that her graduation was just weeks away. Baby Cross would still be brand new when she walked across the stage. Back then, she wasn’t counting down the days until she turned eighteen—a few more months.
She had new musical pursuits on the table if she wanted to make the attempt. She was going to be a godmother.
Lately, she didn’t focus on the things that had happened leading up to all of this ... change. She found it was easier to leave the memories of her father and mother behind. Or as much as she could, anyway.
It wasn’t perfect.
Life was certainly different.
“But I like it,” she told Luca.
Like the dress.
Her changes.
Everything.
When she shivered in the chair, because waiting rooms weren’t known for their heat, Luca shifted again before the leather jacket he’d grabbed out of his car earlier suddenly dropped down on top of her. He made quick work of shifting it around so that it covered Penny like a blanket. All the while, he said nothing.
He didn’t need to.
Now, he was all around her.
Support behind her.
Warmth she needed.
More.
Every breath she took brought with it the smell of him that clung to the leather jacket. The barest hints of cigarette smoke—she never saw him smoke—mixed in with something crisp, like pine needles, and the leather of the jacket.
“Is it scary?” Luca asked.
Penny was almost asleep now. “What?”
“When things change.”
“Yes,” she replied simply.
Because it was.
When everything was good, she found herself worrying about what was going to go wrong. Not that she dared to say it out loud. Then, it might actually happen.
“Luca?”
“Hmm?” he asked.
In her state—almost asleep but still partly awake—Penny wasn’t even sure if the conversation she was having was real or just something she was manifesting. Even so, she kept talking, telling Luca, “I liked you at first because of the way you looked.”
It took her a while to accept that fact, really. It wasn’t an easy conclusion to come to because she didn’t like the idea of being attracted to someone for the sake of attraction. Hadn’t she learned long ago that just because something looked pretty didn’t mean it actually was?
Luca proved her wrong.
Again.
A muffled chuckle answered her back. “Oh?”
“Yeah.”
But ... look at him. A single look from him screamed with intensity that Penny really didn’t know how to deal with. Especially when she knew his stares often accompanied his kindness and wisdom. He didn’t stare to ... appraise her. He did it to find who she was.
Who wouldn’t notice a face like Luca’s first?
“But then I liked you because you were kind and helpful,” Penny added as the darkness shrouded her vision, and she smiled. “And because you made me talk—you weren’t scared of me like everyone else is. You cared.”
And she just thought he should know.
“Go to sleep, Penny.”
She sighed. “Okay.”
“DON’T HIDE OVER THERE,” Roz told Penny.
Standing in the doorway of the bedroom, Penny didn’t dare step any closer to Roz and the bundle of blue she held in the rocking chair. “What if I wake him up?”
“He’s sleeping. Happily. He just ate. Milk drunk.”
What?
Penny giggled but quickly slapped a hand over her mouth to hush the noise. “Sorry.”
Roz rolled her eyes and gave Penny a look. For just having a baby, and being home only a day, she thought Roz looked ... great. Glowing, even. She hadn’t done much with her dark hair but throw it up in a messy bun. She was even wearing one of those tracksuits she had previously told Penny was only good for being lazy.
And yet, she was beautiful.
Full of pride.
And happiness.
Like a new mother should be.
“You’re not going to wake him up,” Roz assured. “And besides, we don’t want everyone tiptoe
ing around every time he lays down to sleep. He’ll never learn to sleep through the noise that way. Just come here.”
Penny did.
Still hesitant, though.
At Roz’s side, she looked down to find the baby was sleeping and perfectly content wrapped in a blue blanket while he was rocked in his mother’s arm. He sucked on the side of his hand while black tufts of hair peeked out from beneath his wool cap.
It wasn’t even the tenth time Penny laid eyes on baby Cross since he was born and yet ... it still felt like it. Each time she stared down at his small features, she easily found his father and how much he took after Nazio. She found the peacefulness of a baby in his gassy grins and hazy eyes—when they were open, of course.
She found someone she loved.
“Roz?”
Both Penny and Roz glanced toward the doorway at the new voice. Naz grinned in at them, and then said, “Your mom and dad just got here. Do you want to come down for a minute? They said to let the little guy sleep for now.”
“I’ll be down in a sec.”
“All right, babe.”
After Naz disappeared, Roz turned to Penny, asking, “Do you want to rock him for a little while? If you want after you can just put him in his bassinet.”
Penny didn’t even think about it. “Sure.”
Before long, it was just Penny and the baby boy alone in the master bedroom. She wasn’t sure how long she sat rocking a sleeping Cross while she stared down at his face, imprinting every little thing about him to her memory, but it didn’t matter. There was nothing else she wanted to do more than be right there.
Staring at him.
He was kind of perfect.
Helpless.
Innocent.
The only things he wanted from the world—at the moment, anyway—was his mother, milk, and warmth when he slept. Everything else that he needed ... well, he didn’t know about those things. He didn’t know that rocking him made him fall asleep faster. Or that he was tiny and needed a whole house to keep him safe. Those were the things the rest of them did for him whether he knew it or not.
Penny didn’t mind at all.
What was he going to be like?
How would he grow?
She could only imagine who little Cross would be as he became older, started to walk and talk, and went from a baby to a toddling boy. It wasn’t lost on Penny how she felt such an instant familial connection to the baby when she barely felt anything for people who were her actual family.
