“They locked me in my room,” she said, her voice full of righteous indignation, and took the glass from Cloud, drinking the whiskey on her own as she mulled over all the wrongs done her.
In one neat move, without spilling any of the drink she held, Cloud picked her up in his arms, sat down in the chair and settled her on his lap. “How did you get out of your room?”
“Thornton came later to see me. He’d woken up, the way he sometimes does. He crept downstairs and got the keys out of Harper’s desk. There were a number that looked right but he eventually found the right one. We packed up and got out of there.
Once out of the house, I decided to come here.”
“Everything in its proper order as usual,” Cloud drawled, grinning fleetingly at James and Wolfe.
“Of course. I had to get out of there quick.” She struggled out of the blankets she was wrapped in after handing Cloud her glass of whiskey. “I’m feeling rather warm.”
“Emily,” he growled, “stop wiggling. You’re killing me.”
She was oblivious to his innuendo. “Oh. Sorry. I just do not understand why I had to marry that man.”
“Money, Emily,” Wolfe said gently.
“I don’t have any.”
“Have patience, brother. Emily always gets a little thick when she drinks.”
Looking crossly at Cloud as she retrieved her drink, she groused, “You make me sound like a lush.” She thought Cloud was looking remarkably cheerful for a man who had just had a load of trouble delivered to his door.
“Never mind, sweets. What Wolfe means is that Harper and his wife live far beyond their means. They are constantly in debt. They needed a sizable loan to recover and might need another. Chilton can extend the loan they have and give them another.”
Befogged as she was, Emily still drew the right conclusions. “Oh.” She sighed. “Do you know, it’d be nice if just once someone would take me to their bed, wed or no, without a lot of complicated negotiations.”
“Definitely drunk,” groaned Cloud.
“I’d be most willing to oblige, Miss Brockinger,” James offered, grinning.
“You were ever the gentleman, Mr. Carlin.”
“That gent’s going to get his pretty teeth broken if he doesn’t back off.”
“Such a violent man,” she mourned, shaking her head at Cloud but ruining her performance by giggling. “So,” she went on a moment later, growing serious again, “I was the bribe for a loan.” She frowned. “If I don’t marry Chilton and Harper can’t get his loan, does that mean that Harper will be ruined?”
“There’s a good chance of that,” Wolfe replied when Cloud just scowled.
“It’s probably my duty as his sister, then, to marry Chilton for Harper’s and Dorothy’s sake.”
“Sister’s duty, my ass,” Cloud snapped. “The man left you with that shrew Carolynn, not giving a damn until he thought he could get some benefit out of you.”
“Couldn’t you have put that a little more gently?” She sighed. “You’re right, though. I just couldn’t do it. He looks like a weasel and he’s so boring I found it hard to be polite. Dorothy got very cross.”
“Dorothy can kiss my—”
“Quite, dear.” She patted Cloud on the head. “I am very sure she would be delighted to, as it’s so attractive, but Harper might object.” She burst into giggles.
Cloud slanted an admonishing look at a snickering James and Wolfe. “Must you encourage her?”
“There was something I was going to tell you.” Emily frowned as she tried to gather her thoughts.
“Dorothy lied,” came a sleepy voice from the rug before the fireplace.
“Thornton, dear, you should be asleep. It is very, very late and you’ve had a very busy night.”
“Never mind, Emily,” growled Cloud. “What’s he mean by saying Dorothy lied?”
“She never told me you had come calling. I didn’t know it until Thornton told me tonight.” She stared at him beseechingly, hoping he would believe her. “What did she tell you?”
“Something about you wanting to forget our association and that I’d better make myself scarce.”
Emily winced, not only over Dorothy’s words but also over the fact that it would be impossible for her to do that even if she had wanted to. She pressed her hand against her abdomen as the child she carried flip-flopped within her, reminding her of its presence. Frowning at her almost-finished drink, she wondered if it was good for her to drink such strong spirits at such a time.
“Are you feeling ill?” Cloud asked in sudden concern.
“You didn’t hurt him, did you?” burst out
Thornton, rushing to her side and staring at her belly as if he could see through her clothes and skin to the baby that stirred within her.
Color rushed to her cheeks as she felt Cloud tense beneath her. “I’m fine. Truly, Thornton.”
“Hurt who, Thornton?” Cloud asked with overdone calm.
Thornton looked nervously at Emily. “I can’t say. Mama said she’s gotta tell you. I can t.
“Tell me what, Emily?” he purred, already certain but wanting confirmation from her.
“Perhaps this isn’t the best time,” she squeaked and tried to get off of his lap, but he held her firmly.
“Emily,” he growled as he stilled her struggles. “Answer the question.”
She stared at him helplessly. This was not the way she had wanted it to be. Thornton’s innocent remark had precipitated matters. She had hoped to lead into the subject gently. However, there might still be a chance to dispel any ideas he might have that she was trying to entrap him.
“I didn’t come here because of that. I mean, not fully. You’re the only one I had to turn to. I only want a little help to get away so that I can’t be made to marry Chilton. That’s all, I—”
Cloud cut her off by putting his hand over her mouth. “You’re babbling, honey. A simple yes or no will do, and you can answer by nodding your head. Are you carrying my child?”
After a moment during which she tried and failed to read something into the intensity she sensed in him, she slowly nodded. She saw a flare of what she could only guess was delight and then his eyelids were lowered, shielding his eyes. Because of that, she did not dare put much hope in her assumption. He could just be feeling proud of his virility.
Exultation was the only word to describe how he felt, Cloud thought. Removing his hand from her mouth he placed it on her abdomen and noticed that it was no longer concave. It was very possible that he had gotten her with child that very first night, which would mean that he would be a father just about springtime.
“Congratulate me,” he smiled widely at James and Wolfe, “I’m going to be a father.”
“I thought I’d congratulate myself. I’m going to be an uncle.”
“All this congratulating doesn’t help me,” Emily said a little crossly, fed up with the male posturing she was being subjected to, yet comforted by the way Cloud laughed and hugged her. “I have to get away. I don’t want to marry Chilton.”
“You’re not going to. You’re going to marry me,” Cloud said firmly, expecting no argument.
“I didn’t come here to make you marry me,” she protested. “I know you’re not the marrying sort and—”
“Shut up, Emily. We’re getting married as soon as I can get you to the preacher.”
She recognized that tone. It was the one that told her arguing with him at this point would be like banging her head against a brick wall. Added to that was the fact that she did not really feel clearheaded enough to give him any reasonable or even coherent arguments.
“Does that mean we’ll be a real family?” asked Thornton, his excitement clear to see.
“Yes, Thornton, we’ll be a real family, but we won’t have our own home until spring. I’ve only just started my place and Emily should have some comforts while she’s carrying my baby. Now, I think you ought to get into bed. You have a choice—James’s or Wolfe’s.”
>
When the little boy revealed a difficulty in deciding, Wolfe did it for him. His bed was larger than James’s, so he said he would put Thornton in there for a while. After Thornton kissed an increasingly sleepy Emily goodnight, Wolfe took the boy up to bed.
Looking down at Emily, whose head rested on his shoulder and whose eyes were now closed, Cloud drawled, “Best get this one to bed as well. If you’d stayed put, Em, I was coming around again. I wasn’t going to give up on you.”
“Didn’t know that,” she mumbled. “Couldn’t stay, anyway. Might have ended up married to Chilton. He’s got cold hands.”
“And just where did he put them so that you’d find that out?” he growled.
“On my knee. We were riding in his carriage. I hit him with my parasol.” She sighed. “It broke.”
“I’ll get you a new one right after I break Chilton’s scrawny neck.” Cloud stood up with her still held firmly in his arms. “Emily, do you know if Chilton knows about us and the baby?”
“Mmmm. Dorothy told me he forgave me my foolish mistake. No, my sin. She said sin.” After a moment of listening drowsily to Cloud’s ungentlemanly opinions of one Dorothy Brockinger, Emily murmured, “I do not believe I have ever heard a man curse as much as you do.”
“Or so colorfully,” offered James as he followed them up the stairs. “He does possess a certain flair.”
“Most definitely.” Emily nodded firmly if a little groggily.
“I didn’t say half the things I was thinking about that she-wolf. You’ll also notice I haven’t said anything about that weak, spineless brother of yours who lets his wife rule the roost”
“How kind of you, Cloud.” She patted his cheek even as she yawned. “A real gentleman.”
By the time they reached Cloud’s room she was fast asleep. He gently laid her down on the bed and went to make sure that Thornton was settled well. After studying the sleeping boy he was about to take under his wing, he said good-night to Wolfe and James and returned to his own room.
He undressed her with a mixture of delight and agony. It was a delight to have her back in his bed and to know that, within a short time, she would have a permanent, legal place there. Nevertheless, it was extremely trying to have her so close to hand but be unable to satisfy his need for her. Knowing that she needed her rest, if only for the child’s sake, was all that controlled him.
Shedding his clothes, he slipped into bed beside her. A little smile crossed his face when he pulled her into his arms and she cuddled up to him with a soft murmur just as she had done all those nights on the trail. It was one of those little signs that had made him confident of her to a certain extent. Holding her lithe frame all night would insure that he got little sleep, but he was not overly concerned. It was a virile man’s vision of a hell on earth, but he knew that it could be far worse. Emily could be sharing Chilton’s bed.
Chapter Fifteen
Emily tried but she could not help feeling hurt and somewhat insulted. She could easily excuse Cloud’s not touching her last night, for she had been deeply asleep. That did not, however, explain why he had slipped away before she was even awake this morning. She knew full well that the bright sun streaming in the window would not have stopped him if he wanted to make love to her. He had never suffered from modesty before.
She took one last glance at her appearance and started downstairs, her nose forcing her to follow the rich scent of freshly brewed coffee. Her morning sickness had been short-lived and not very severe, and now she found herself ravenously hungry in the mornings.
Emily was pleased to see, as she entered the kitchen, that there was plenty of food to go along with the coffee.
A premonition of how it would be came as the three men bustled around. They very carefully seated her, served her coffee, heaped her plate with food and continuously asked her if she was all right. It was sweet, even slightly funny, but she could see how easily it would drive her mad after a while.
“I’m not an invalid,” she said gently as she started to eat.
Wolfe grinned as he sat down. “Sorry. We’ve never had a baby before.”
Thornton giggled. “Men don’t haf babies. Even I know that.”
“I can see I’m going to have to be careful about what I say and how I say it.” Wolfe smiled at Thornton. “I meant we’ve never had a lady carrying a Ryder child around before.”
“And we’re going into town as soon as you’ve eaten, Em, find that preacher, and make sure that baby is a Ryder.”
Cloud’s statement and Emily’s resultant expression of concern and obstinacy had the effect of clearing the kitchen of everyone except her and Cloud, who lounged in his chair looking fully prepared to override any protests she might come up with.
“I probably did not make myself clear last night, but I didn’t come here to make you marry me.”
“You made that clear enough. You also couldn’t make me do something I didn’t want to do.”
“Oh.” She saw the truth in that but frowned. “You want to get married?”
“Must you sound so incredulous?” he said. “Once I decided to settle, I got to thinking about marriage and family. The two go hand in hand.”
“I suppose they do.” She swallowed a little nervously, preparing to voice her doubts. “There are a few other things that go hand in hand with marriage, you know.”
“Such as what?”
“Such as not having a light of love at every stop from San Francisco to New York.”
He smiled a little. “I know that. I know marriage implies constancy. I can manage that.” He saw the doubt that still lingered in her lovely eyes. “Don’t think I can?”
“I’m sure you can do anything you put your mind to.” She sighed, trying to think of how to phrase her worries without revealing herself too much.
“Is it that damn deal?” “I beg your pardon?” “I asked if it was that damn deal. Do you still think I would’ve left you and Thornton to go it on your own?”
“No, of course not.” She was not about to tell him how early in the game she had realized that, for he might ask her why she had continued to come to his bed.
“Then you’re riled about doing something you didn’t have to do.” He was determined to find out how she felt about it and put the whole matter firmly behind them.
“Well, I was a little but not now. It’s done and over with. You wanted something and took the most direct route to getting it. It was, perhaps, not quite moral, but then I was bound to get Thornton and myself killed.”
“Your situation only made it easier to get what I wanted. If it’d been any other situation, I just would’ve found another way. I was going to have you come hell or high water.”
She blinked in surprise. “Do you mean that, even if we had been in the city, attending social events and going through all the ritual of beau and lady, you would have still tried to get me into your bed?”
“Quick as I could. From the moment I set eyes on you, lady, you didn’t have a chance. Even if I’d known you were a virgin, I still would’ve gone for you.”
“Well, perhaps you would have, but if I hadn’t been in such an awkward position …”
“I wouldn’t have succeeded?” He rose and moved to where she sat, leaning down so that his face was close to hers. “Emily, you didn’t have a chance. No matter what it took, I was determined to have you. It would’ve been the same anywhere, any time.”
“Oh,” she said weakly.
He saw her frown slightly. “Don’t you believe me?”
“I was just thinking that if it’s that strong, it could fade quickly.”
“It hasn’t yet and I’m thinking that, by the time it does I’ll be of an age to appreciate a little less excitement.” He began to brush light kisses over her upturned face.
“And you’ll be faithful?” she asked a little breathlessly.
“I’ll do my damnedest.” He looked her straight in the eyes. “I’m no saint and I have all a man’s weaknesses. I swear I�
��ll try, try my best. That’s all I can do.”
“That’s enough.”
He straightened up. “I better find something to do or I’ll forget my intentions to leave you alone until the wedding night.”
“So that’s why you didn’t—” she began, then blushed beneath his smile.
“Disappointed?” he drawled softly.
“Of course not,” she said coolly as she stood to clear her breakfast things away.
He just laughed softly. “I’ll get the carriage ready.”
“We’re going now?” she squeaked.
“I thought I said that.”
“Well, I have to change first.” She spoke as firmly as she could as she started out of the kitchen.
“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?” He looked over her gown with appreciation as he followed her.
She looked at her blue day dress, then at him. “Nothing, but it’s not what I want to get married in. I’m going to put on my best.” She started up the stairs.
“Fine, but when the carriage’s ready we’re leaving, so you better be ready.”
It was as she dressed that she began to think about what she was getting herself into. When all was said and done, she was entering a loveless union. Grimacing, she admitted that it was not loveless precisely, but extremely one-sided.
Not once in all the flattering talk about the strength of his desire had he mentioned love. It hurt but, worse, she felt helpless to change that. Love was not something one could force a person to feel.
Looking in the mirror, she had to smile. Cloud had never seen her so dressed up before. The white ball gown was one of Carolynn’s hand-me-downs but no one in this area knew that. It would suit well enough for a wedding dress. She frowned, as she wondered briefly about her right to wear white, the color that had come to indicate a virgin bride, then straightened. Her innocence was gone but the man who had taken it and the only man she had ever let touch her was the man marrying her. She did not doubt that many a bride who wore white was in the same position as she. Virgin she might never be again, but she had nothing to be ashamed of either.
Compromised Hearts Page 18
