by Jaleta Clegg
“Is piloting really that hard?” Jasyn asked when he was gone.
“Is navigation that hard?” I answered back.
Jasyn grinned. “You could fly this ship by yourself.”
“I didn’t have any traffic to worry about. And the jump point was close. If I had to steer through the system, I would have waited for Jerimon.”
“Does that mean you’re really good or just a daredevil?” She leaned back in her chair.
“It means I’m that worried.”
“I’d be worried if a sector commander was chasing me. It has to be something more than the Eggstone, the charges at Besht were pretty minor.”
“I’m sure it’s more than that. It always is.” My luck was holding, my very bad luck that got me mixed up with trouble without even trying.
Chapter Seventeen
“Dace,” Caid called
“What?” I said, stretching. I’d been on watch for the last ten hours.
“The hydroponic main valve is dripping. That’s the assistant engineer’s job.” He settled on the couch, stretching out with a sigh.
“I’d better get double pay for double duty,” I muttered.
“I’ll take watch.” Caid closed his eyes.
“Watch means you actually sit in the chair and keep watch on the boards,” I said, slowing each word as if talking to a very stupid person.
“Don’t get sassy. I know what watch means. Go fix that leak. If the ship explodes, I’ll take full blame.”
“We’ll all be dead so it won’t matter.”
“At least that will solve your problem with the Eggstone.”
“Don’t court trouble,” Lady Rina said, slapping cards on the table. “It has a way of hearing you. Lady Fate is not to be trifled with.”
That got Caid off the couch and over by the controls. I headed down to the hydroponics. The plants Jerimon had planted showed signs of new growth. Given another month or two, Lady Rina would be enjoying fresh vegetables and flowers. I wondered where I’d be in a month. No closer to my dream of owning my own ship again.
The valve at the far end of the room oozed liquid. I checked the gasket. I’d replaced it less than two days earlier. The lock nut was loose, allowing water to well around it. I turned to fetch a wrench. Jerimon stood behind me, just inside the door. He let it slide shut. He wore his scary intense look.
I didn’t want this. Not now. Not for a long time. If ever.
“Dace, I wanted to talk to you. When the timing was better.”
“It’s not. It isn’t any better. It won’t be better for a very long time.”
“We’ve got plenty of time. We won’t reach Landruss for several more hours.”
“Move. I need a wrench.” I stayed just beyond his reach. I stared at his chest knowing if I met his eyes I just might give in. I didn’t know if I wanted to do that or not.
“Dace.” He reached for my hands. I put them behind my back.
“I need to fix the valve.”
“Later.” He settled for holding my arms. I took a step back and he followed.
“What do you want, Jerimon?”
“Look at me, Dace.”
“Why?” I looked. He was much too close. My heart beat faster.
“I love you. I’ve never said that to anyone before.”
“Let go of me.” He was too close, much too close.
“It’s fate, Dace. You’re my soulmate. The cards said so.”
“They can’t say anything. They’re just pieces of paper.”
“They’re much more than that. You’re trembling.”
“Go away, Jerimon.” It came out in a whisper.
“You don’t mean that, Dace.” He shifted his hand to my cheek. His thumb stroked my lower lip. He kissed me.
It was different than before; this time he meant it. Before I realized what I was doing, I was kissing him back. Feelings I’d never felt before shook me with their intensity. I pushed him away, scared by emotions I didn’t know how to hide.
I ducked under his arm, then ran through the engine room, down the hall, and into my cabin. I hid in the bathroom, locking the door. I leaned against the wall and tried to stop shaking. Every nerve was on fire. If I closed my eyes, I still felt his lips against mine. I slowly sank to the floor between the tiny sink and the toilet. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.
“Dace?” Jerimon knocked on the door. “Are you all right?”
I didn’t trust myself to say anything. I curled into a ball, burying my face in my arms. Nothing I’d been through had prepared me for the way I felt. I was a stranger in my own body. I wanted Jerimon to kiss me again, to hold me tight. I wanted nothing to do with him. I wanted freedom, I wanted my own space, my own ship. I wanted to find out who I was before I became someone else. Hot tears ran down my face, across nerves still burning from Jerimon’s touch.
“Dace?” It was Jasyn this time. She waited a moment. I didn’t respond. “What did Jerimon do to you?”
“Nothing.” I didn’t recognize my own voice. I cleared my throat. “Nothing,” I said louder.
“Open the door. I know he did something. Or you wouldn’t be locked in the bathroom and he wouldn’t be hiding in his cabin.”
I reached up and thumbed the lock. The door slid open. Jasyn looked down at me huddled on the floor.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” I hunched deeper into the niche beside the toilet. She settled herself on the floor just outside. Time ticked by. I wiped my nose on my sleeve.
“Do you want to talk about it now?” She shifted her weight. She still managed to look elegant and beautiful.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” I felt stupid and clumsy, my face blotched from crying.
“What did Jerimon do?”
“He kissed me.”
“Is that all?”
“Isn’t it enough?”
“He kissed you before.”
“He didn’t mean it then.”
“Lady Rina and her cards have gone to his head. As if he needed encouragement. You’ve never had a crush, you’ve obviously never really been kissed before.” I opened my mouth to protest, then shut it. She didn’t need to know about Tayvis, if that even counted as a real kiss.
“No one has ever told you anything about love, have they?”
“Just hours of lecture about oral hygiene,” I said, remembering the orphanage director and her favorite topic. “I don’t want this.”
She waited.
“I’m scared of the way Jerimon makes me feel. I don’t even know if I like him.” I wiped my nose again. “I think I could really like him. Maybe. Someday. Not now.”
“One problem at a time?” She pulled a tissue from the holder then handed it to me.
“I seem to collect problems. Are you really sure you want to buy a ship with me?” Right now that dream seemed as far away as the Emperor’s royal court. I blew my nose and wiped my eyes with the tissue.
“I doubt it would ever get dull. Feel better now?”
“Maybe. How much longer to Landruss?”
“Five or six hours.”
“Good. Let’s get the Eggstone, turn it over to the Patrol, then leave Jerimon behind for a while. I can’t think with him always there. I want…” I hesitated. What did I really want? “I want some space to myself for a while, I think.”
“With or without me?” She dropped her gaze to her hands, folded in her lap.
“Depends. Are you going to kiss me or tell me Jerimon is my soul mate?”
She laughed, an easy sound. “Neither.”
“Then you can come.”
She patted my leg. “Tell Jerimon to go away. I’ll tell Lady Rina to leave her cards out of it.”
“Aren’t you afraid she’ll curse you or something?”
“If she does, I’ll turn it back on her. I’m Family, too.” She stood and stretched. “Lock the door behind me. I’ll buzz you when we get close.” She crossed the room, lithe as a
jungle cat. The door swished closed.
I wiped my nose again and got off the bathroom floor. I crossed to the door and thumbed the lock.
Why did Jasyn want to stick with me? I wanted nothing more than to take her at her word, to buy a ship with her and make a living as independent traders. I wanted to trust her. She was my friend, even if her brother was driving me insane. I didn’t know how to trust.
I lay on my bunk, staring at the ceiling. I could spend the rest of my life trying to guess motives. Why had Lady Rina rescued us? She put herself in a lot of trouble doing it. How had Jerimon ever convinced himself he was in love with me? Why had Grant Lowell really let me go? Was Tayvis still going to like me when we finally met again?
I fell asleep while my mind was still churning questions. I had some very strange dreams.
The warning buzzer startled me awake. I scrabbled under my pillow for the weapon I used to keep there. At the orphanage it was a rock. At the Academy, I kept a stunner under my pillow because I was required to. I came all the way awake and wished I hadn’t. I flopped on my pillow and groaned. My eyes were gritty, tired and bloodshot. The buzzer sounded again. I rolled out of my bunk.
I made it to the pilot’s chair as the final reentry alarm sounded. Jerimon gave me a worried look. I ignored him. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to kiss him again or punch his face in.
The hyperdrive slowed, whining. The Swan clung to the edge of hyperspace for much too long. Seconds of gut-twisting nausea stretched into a very long minute. I clung to my seat and prayed that we would make a safe transition. The Swan shuddered and finally slipped free. My hands flew over the controls, frantically dumping speed.
Jerimon was just as busy, settling the engines and scanning for our position. “Starboard, now!”
I yanked the controls. The Swan protested but curved tightly away. The force of the turn slammed all of us to the side. I caught a glimpse of a huge gas giant in the viewscreen as it slipped past, way too close for comfort.
Jasyn typed on her keyboard, fingers moving almost too fast to see. “Where are we?” she asked, her voice tight.
“Landruss,” Jerimon answered. “I just picked up a system beacon. We’re way off course.”
“That’s obvious.” Her voice could have sliced steel. “We aren’t where I programmed us to be, we’re much too far away, and that planet should have been on the other side of the system. The whole nav system is corrupted.”
“Or just very old,” I said. “When did Caid last get a data update for this sector?”
“I should have checked that,” Jasyn said.
“Nobody’s perfect,” Jerimon said.
“I wasn’t planning on going to an Inner Planet.” Her fingers never slowed in their typing.
“I don’t think any of us were,” I said. “Give me a course. I can’t hold this one long before I have to slow again. And that would put us several days away, instead of hours.”
It only took her a few minutes to have a rough course set. I punched it in. The Swan curved gracefully onto the new heading.
“It should take about six hours to reach the normal traffic lanes,” Jerimon said, checking the scan screen.
Jasyn called the planet. We were far enough away that the time delay was almost half an hour. She summarized our situation and sent it in one data burst. I double checked the engine status; everything showed green.
Lady Rina stood stiffly behind my chair. “What happened?”
“The nav coordinates were very outdated,” Jasyn explained. “We’re lucky.”
“Lady Fate smiles on us.” Lady Rina tapped my shoulder. “The cards do not lie. But they have been giving me an impossible reading. No matter how many times I lay them out, the Chameleon lies at the center. Everything else changes, but the card of change remains the same.”
I very deliberately said nothing. Her cards had caused me enough trouble. I wasn’t going to ask for more.
“Is it safe now?” Lady Rina asked.
“It’s going to take us quite a while to reach Landruss,” I said. “But we should make it in one piece.”
“Very good. Call me when we are close.” She left the lounge, her long skirts rustling behind her.
I settled in my seat as far from Jerimon as I could get and still reach the controls. I was very aware of every movement he made. I remembered the touch of his hand on my face, his kiss, the feel of him holding me. I squirmed, trying to put more distance between us, but there wasn’t any room to move away. I made the mistake of actually looking at him, glancing sideways at his profile. He met my look. We both looked away. I wiped suddenly sweaty hands on my suit.
Jerimon deliberately caught my hand in his.
I pulled. His fingers tightened. “Jerimon, let go.”
“We need to talk,” he said quietly.
Jasyn pretended to ignore us.
“We don’t need anything,” I said bluntly.
“Dace, I’m sorry,” he said, still holding my hand. “I shouldn’t have pushed you. You need space, I can understand that. I need—”
“You need to let go of my hand, before I hit you with my other one.”
“You’re scared, I can understand that.”
“Jerimon, if you keep patronizing me, I really will hit you. Let go.”
“Dace, just let me talk, please. This is difficult for me.”
“And it’s not difficult for me?” I swiveled my chair to face him. The angry words I was about to say died. He really did think he loved me, it was plain in his eyes. My stomach fluttered, my heart sped up. I swiveled away from him, jerking my hand free. It would be too easy to just give in, to let myself experience all the strange feelings tingling through me. I wanted him to kiss me again.
“Why are you running away?” he asked. “We both feel the same, I can see it.”
“This isn’t a good time, Jerimon.” I tried to ignore him, trimming the left stabilizers that didn’t need trimmed.
“Just give me a chance, Dace.” He paused. “There isn’t someone else, is there?”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know if there was someone else or not.
“I should have known.” He spread his hands on the edge of the control console. “I can give you anything he can, only better. I’ll prove it.”
“There isn’t anyone else. Yet.” The confession dragged out of me. I didn’t think I could stand Jerimon if he decided to be aggressive about chasing me.
“I’m here and he’s not.” He reached for my hand again.
“Don’t touch me!” I shoved away from him. If I hadn’t been belted in, I would have gone halfway across the lounge. “I don’t want this right now, Jerimon. Back off.”
“You like me, don’t you? I can live with that. For now.” His voice was smug.
I refused to look at him but I could imagine the look on his face.
He turned to the scanner, leaving me a little breathing space. I tried to forget the whole conversation, concentrating on my own set of controls. He started to whistle. I gritted my teeth and fought the urge to beat him unconscious.
Not much happened for several hours, except Jerimon’s arrogant whistling and my growing headache. I needed space to think, I needed time to myself. I wasn’t going to get any of it soon.
* * *
Jasyn called traffic control as soon as we were in range. They wanted to know exactly why we were coming in on such a strange vector. Her irritation grew as she explained about the old equipment and outdated nav information. We ended up with a Patrol Scout escorting us, scanning us every inch of the way.
Landruss was an Inner World, one of several hundred within a short distance of Linas-Drias, the capital of the Empire. The Inner Worlds were rich, powerful, and very settled. The traffic regulations alone made me wish I was back out on the Frontier where traffic control usually consisted of a few calls and a simple vector approach. We followed a crowded, convoluted course into Landruss. I felt like I was crawling up the tail fins of the ship in front
of us.
Two hours after starting final approach to Landruss we were finally down, squeezing the poor Swan into a docking berth too modern for her antique connectors. Jerimon and I powered everything down.
Jasyn finished keying in the updated database that Landruss port had uploaded to us, at a big fee of course. Lady Rina had merely shrugged and authorized it. Jasyn hit a final button and sat back. “What do we do now?”
“We go pay a visit to Den Douvay,” Lady Rina said. “I’ve been thinking. We know he bought the Eggstone. From what my sources say, he collects strange artifacts.”
“You don’t have to go,” I said. “Jerimon got us into this, he ought to get us out. I’ll help because I’m in just as deep.”
“I said I’d help.” Lady Rina sniffed. I’d hurt her feelings. I didn’t feel an ounce of remorse, not after her and her blasted cards had set Jerimon on me. “I’m coming with you. Jerimon is not.” She held up her hand to stop protests that we weren’t making. “This is my plan. I will pose as a wealthy society lady who is interested in beginning a collection similar to Den Douvay’s. It would only be natural for me to call on him. I will take my charming niece, of course, and my personal assistant. Dace and Jerimon will wait here.”
“No,” we both said at the same time.
“You don’t know what it looks like,” Jerimon said.
“And how are you going to justify coming?” Lady Rina arched her eyebrow. “We cannot call on a gentleman with an unruly mob.”
I set my jaw stubbornly. I was not going to be left behind, alone with Jerimon.
She heaved a sigh, throwing her hands in the air. “Very well, then. It’s my money, it’s my ship, but it’s your problem. Dace will go as my personal assistant, Jerimon will be our driver. You will stay in the vehicle.” She waited for him to nod. “Estelle and Caid will prepare the ship so we can leave as soon as we have obtained the Eggstone.” She startled me by grinning. “I haven’t felt this young in years. Jasyn, dear, call the honorable Den Douvay and get us an invitation for this evening if you can. It’s now midafternoon, local time. I believe he lives not far from the port, out in the country.” She consulted a handcomp and read off a number.
