“You know what? Go ahead and Fall. Go back to Jared. But, you’ll be on your own. I won’t Guard you anymore. No one will.” Maybe April Falling would be a good thing. At least he’d be rid of her then. He’d never have to see her again. Then he’d only have to deal with the gaping hole she’d tear in his heart when she left.
“He is correct,” Mira confirmed. “When you Fall, you lose your Guardian. You will have to survive without the help of an Angel.”
April looked at Damian. The uncertainty in her eyes gave him hope, but only for a moment.
“I’ll take my chances. I don’t belong here.”
Mira looked at him. “Damian, you will take April to The In-Between. Help her with the Fall.”
Like Hell he would.
“No, I won’t. If she wants to Fall, I won’t stop her. But, I’m not going to help her.” He gave April one last pleading look, but when she held fast to her decision, he simply turned and walked away.
* * *
Damian’s attitude had been a roller coaster since April woke, and she’d had enough of it. One minute, he was kind and gentle. The next minute, his icy gaze and indifferent attitude made her wonder why she was ever attracted to him.
“What’s his problem?”
“He has anger issues. Especially when it comes to the Fall. It is a...sensitive subject.” Mira folded her hands and looked at April with an expression she couldn’t read. Was it pity? Sorrow?
“What happened to him?”
“That would be for Damian to tell you. But if you are set on Falling, you will never know. You do realize you will never see him again? Can you live with that?”
She sucked in a shaky breath. She’d only known him three months, but in her heart it felt like he’d been there her entire life. Could she live without him? “I have to.”
She smoothed the luscious material of her gown and looked at Mira. “Can I have my clothes back?”
“Of course, dear.” Mira touched April’s arm, and her gown transformed into the outfit she wore the day she died, minus the bullet hole and blood.
“How did you do that?”
Mira smiled. “You can do it too. Just imagine what you want to wear, decide to wear it, and it will be there.”
“Seriously?”
“Try it.”
April closed her eyes and pictured the suede skirt and silk blouse from Neiman’s she’d been saving for. A soft buzz tickled her skin as the garments transformed. When she opened her eyes, the outfit was hers. “Amazing. I’m in Heaven.”
Mira chuckled. “No, this isn’t Heaven. This is the Angelic Realm.”
“I thought Angels lived in Heaven.”
“No. God created us to mirror humans, so we could relate to our Charges on a personal level. We have the same emotions, desires, flaws. We sin, just like people do. We are by no means perfect, as you have seen. So Angels live here, in our own Realm, while human souls go to Heaven upon their deaths.”
“Interesting. Well, it’s Heaven to me if I can have any outfit I want. I’ve been eyeing this one for weeks.”
Mira smiled halfheartedly, her gaze filled with pity. “Are you ready now?”
She swallowed as a heaviness formed in her heart. “Yeah. I guess I am.”
“He will miss you dearly.”
Her chest tightened, and tears stung her eyes. She’d miss him too. A voice in her head screamed at her to stay. She needed Damian in her life. Despite his temper, she knew he was a tender person deep down. She could see it in his eyes. Feel it in her soul.
But she didn’t belong here. She wasn’t an Angel. “I’m ready.”
“Very well. Through that door is The In-Between. Imagine in your mind the place you want to be. State your intent to Fall, and then Fall. You will be mortal again, and you will live out the rest of your life on Earth.”
April hesitated. Was Falling really what she wanted? If she ever wanted a chance at her dream life, it had to be.
“Will you tell Damian good-bye for me?”
A grin spread across Mira’s face. “I think you’ll have to do that yourself.”
Before she could ask another question, Damian appeared in front of her. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he glared at her. Anger spiced with a hint of determination radiated from his body. “If you want to Fall, fine. But you need to see what you’re going back to.”
He grabbed her hand, and in a blink, they stood outside her apartment door. Normally bright red, the door was now gunmetal gray, and she instantly recognized they were in The In-Between.
“How do you do that? You just appear places, out of nowhere.”
Damian shrugged. “You just do it. You think of where you want to be, and you’re there.”
“This is my apartment.”
“You need to see what’s inside, and remember...you’ve only been dead for three weeks.”
He tightened his grip on her hand and stepped through the closed door, pulling her in behind him. Crossing through the solid object felt like a cold breeze rushing across her skin, and it took her a moment to orient herself to her surroundings. She really was a ghost.
Damian exhaled a hiss. “Are you sure he’s worth Falling for?”
She followed his gaze to the living room sofa. From behind, the couch appeared empty, but as she crept closer, she saw Jared...lying on top of a woman—the leggy blonde legal assistant from his office.
Her jaw dropped open as she watched him kiss her. As he fondled her in unspeakable places. This...this man she had wanted to marry was with another woman only three weeks after April’s death. Jared had said he loved her. Surely he wasn’t over her already. Her heart shattered. Anger fumed from her core.
“Are you okay?” Damian’s anger faded to compassion as he rested his hands on her shoulders. The warmth of his touch soothed her, but she didn’t want to be comforted.
“No, I’m not okay. Do I look okay to you?” She jerked away from him and stormed around the sofa.
“Jared! Get off of her!” Hot tears streamed down her face, and she tried to pull her boyfriend off the other woman. But she wasn’t in his world anymore, and her arms passed through his body.
“Dammit, Jared! Why?” She tried again to grab him, but there was nothing to hold on to. Pain slammed into her chest like a brick as her emotions fell apart. She clawed at him, punched and kicked him, but it was like he wasn’t there. No, like she wasn’t there. She was dead to him. Kneeling beside the couch, she put her head against his back.
“Whoa! Did you feel that?” Jared’s head snapped up when she touched him.
“Feel what, honey?” The blonde groped at him to regain his attention.
“My back just got really cold.”
“Hmmm,” she purred. “Maybe it’s the ghost of that pathetic girlfriend of yours.”
“Maybe so.” Jared chuckled and shoved his tongue into her mouth.
Pathetic? She was pathetic for ever thinking he loved her. For thinking she could actually build a life with that...that creep! How could she have been so stupid? So blind?
She sat on the floor, pulled her knees to her chest, and cried.
“April.” Damian knelt beside her and placed his hand on her back. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why did you bring me here? You could have just told me instead of putting me through this hell.”
“Would you have believed me?”
She wiped the tears from her eyes and stared at the wall in front of her. “I...it doesn’t matter. Just leave me alone.”
She rose to her feet and trotted to the door, but when she reached for the knob, her hand passed through it.
“Dammit.” She took a deep breath and forced herself through the wall. She had to get out of there. She couldn’t stand watching Jared making out with that tramp. Sure, she’d suspected he might be cheating. But having a suspicion and actually seeing him in the act stirred completely different emotions. She took one last look at the closed door; she’d never come back here again. Then, she sp
un around to leave and smacked into Damian’s chest.
“Jesus, will you quit following me?” She stepped around him and marched down the stairs.
“Where are you going, April?”
“Somewhere far away from you.” She couldn’t bear to look at the man who probably knew about Jared’s betrayal all along. How pathetic she must’ve been to him, planning a wedding that was never going to happen. Her ears burned with embarrassment, and she couldn’t get away fast enough.
She jogged through the parking lot, though she had no idea where she was going. She turned to look at him one last time. “Please, just leave me alone.”
“I’ll be here when you need me.”
I know. All she’d have to do was call his name, and he’d drop whatever he was doing and be there for her. But it was his job. As soon as he was relieved of being her Guardian, she’d be alone. Damian didn’t care about her; he was doing his duty. He took care of her because he had to.
Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks as she headed to the one place she thought she could find comfort—her mother’s home.
The sun setting behind the old house painted a fond picture. She grew up in this house, and the memories of her childhood always brightened her mood. But when she passed through the door, the sadness in the air engulfed her like a wet blanket wrapped around her skin.
Her mother lay curled up on the couch, clutching a picture frame to her chest. April recognized the frame; it was her college graduation photo.
“Oh, Momma.” She dropped to her knees and reached out to her mother. “I’m so sorry, Momma.”
“Hello, April.” The soft voice startled her, and when April looked up, she peered into the bright blue eyes of an Angel. Her golden hair flowed in thick waves over her shoulders, and her belted white gown emphasized her small waist and delicate features.
“Oh! Uh...hi. Did uh...did Damian send you?”
The Angel smiled. “No. My name is Ella. Your mother is my Charge.”
“So, you’re her Guardian?” She tried to control her tears as she gazed at her momma.
Ella giggled. “Only a select few become Guardians. I’m her Keeper.”
“Keeper?”
“Has Damian not explained anything to you? I heard his Charge had crossed over, but he usually has them prepared.”
April toyed with a button on her shirt. “I guess I never gave him the chance.”
Ella plopped on the floor next to her. “Well, there are two types of Angels: Guardians and Keepers. Guardians, like Damian, look after the rare people who will become Angels when they turn thirty. Keepers, on the other hand, only watch over regular people, who live their lives, die, and go to Heaven.”
“Oh. So, does everyone have an Angel to look after them?”
“Everyone.”
April looked at her mother, asleep on the sofa, and her heart ached. “Is she...okay?”
“She’s improving, but it will take time. How are you coping?”
She laughed cynically. “Not very well, I guess. I just found out my boyfriend is a cheater, and he never planned on marrying me. And I pissed Damian off, so he probably hates me even more, if that’s possible.”
“He doesn’t hate anybody. He just likes people to think he does.”
“Yeah, right. Hey, is it okay if I stay here for a while? I don’t want to go back. I just need to think.”
“Of course you can. Take all the time you need.”
“Will you let Damian know where I am?”
“He already knows.” Ella grinned and winked at April. Then, she disappeared.
What was she supposed to do now? Damian was right; she couldn’t go back to her old life. But could she be a Guardian? Would Damian be willing to help her? Maybe Mira would let her go to Heaven where all the normal people went when they died. Would she be happy there?
“Oh, Momma. I wish you could hear me. I don’t know what to do.”
CHAPTER NINE
She didn’t know how long she sat there and watched her mother sleep. But the sun was already setting behind the old rice mills when Momma awoke and looked at the picture still clutched in her arms.
Momma sighed, and a sad smile curved her lips. “You’re in a better place, baby girl. No more fear, worry, or sadness. You’ve got nothing but happiness ahead of you now. I love you.” She ran her finger down the face in the picture and kissed it. Then she set the frame on the coffee table and shuffled to the kitchen.
April couldn’t stop the tears from flooding her eyes. If Momma only knew how wrong she was. Fear, worry, and sadness consumed April every second of her existence. There’d be no happiness for her. She was ripped away from her life. Her family. Torn away with no warning, no chance to say goodbye. Her family was miserable. She was miserable.
And for what? She wasn’t going to Heaven. She’d never be the peaceful, happy soul her momma wanted her to be. She was an Angel now. And who knew Angels could be so unhappy?
She sat on the floor, contemplating what to do next. Needing—more than ever—the warmth of her momma’s embrace. Momma always knew what to do. She always had reassuring words for her daughter that would make her believe everything would be okay. Even if only for a moment.
April felt completely drained, both physically and emotionally, and she curled into a ball on the rug. She fought to keep her heavy lids open. Sleep overtook her as her body surrendered to its desperate need for Slumber. Her eyelids closed, and she slipped into peaceful darkness.
* * *
“April? Are you awake?”
“Hmm?” She pried open her eyes to find Ella kneeling in front of her.
“You need to rest. Come on, you can stay with me tonight.” She took her hand and tried to pull her to her feet. April slid her hand from her grasp.
“I’m just gonna sleep here. I can’t go back there.”
Ella’s brow furrowed. “That’s not a good idea. You can’t get the kind of rest you need in The In-Between.”
April pushed up onto her elbow. “What do you mean? Sleep is sleep, and I’m so exhausted I could do it anywhere.”
Ella shook her head. “It’s not the same. You need Slumber, and you can only get that in the Angelic Realm. The energy is denser there, and you can recharge. Here, you’ll just feel drained.”
She laid her head on her arm. “If you don’t mind, I’ll take my chances.”
Ella sighed. “Damian’s worried about you. Mira won’t let him come get you. He’d pick you up and drag you back if he could.”
“So he sent you to check on me.”
She smiled and shrugged.
“Well, tell him I’m fine. He doesn’t need to worry his pretty little head about me. I’m a strong woman.”
“Suit yourself. I’ll be back to check on you tomorrow. And when you realize you need some good Slumber, you’re welcome to stay with me.” She smiled and patted her on the shoulder. “Good night, April.”
She laid down her head and was out again as soon as she closed her eyes. Wonderful, dreamless sleep consumed her mind as her consciousness slipped away.
* * *
She woke to the muffled sounds of Momma getting ready for work, and when she stood, her head spun. Had she really been asleep all night? It felt like she’d just closed her eyes. This must’ve been what Ella was talking about. But she couldn’t go back. Not even for some much-needed Slumber.
She stumbled into the kitchen where Momma was drinking coffee and talking on the phone. The coffee smelled decadent, and she almost got a buzz from the scent. Everything about her childhood home smelled good. Familiar. From the lavender growing in the field behind the house to the fresh scent of the clean laundry just brought in from the line, this place—this planet—was home.
“No, Phyllis. You don’t have to do that. Shelly’s coming over today, and she’s gonna stay with me for a while... Yeah, we’ll be fine. I’ll call you if I need anything.”
April breathed a sigh of relief. Her sister was coming to stay with Momma. A
t least she wouldn’t be alone. She’d always worried about her momma since she and Shelly moved out. She lived by herself in the three-bedroom house, and that must’ve been scary. April couldn’t imagine being alone all the time. How sad Momma must’ve been.
April never knew her father. Shelly didn’t know hers, either. Both women were products of her momma’s failed relationships. Poor Momma. She never did find a man to love her. And after a while, she seemed to give up on love all together.
When she was twelve years old, April vowed her life would not turn out that way. She would find a husband, and they’d live together forever. They’d love each other forever. There was no way she was spending her life alone and miserable.
So much for that dream. Now she was alone, and she wasn’t even sure if she was alive or dead. She didn’t know how to be an Angel. So how could she build relationships with others like her?
With Momma on her way to work, she decided to visit the high school and see how her classes were doing. Hopefully they found good subs for both her and Damian.
She eyed the door and felt queasy. She’d never get used to passing through solid objects. It wasn’t natural. But since that was how she got in, it was her only way out. She held her breath, closed her eyes, and forced herself through the door. The tingling sensation of her body moving through the wood made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. But she did it. She was on the other side.
She looked triumphantly at the old, weathered door and smiled. No lock could stop her now. She turned to make her way to school, but Ella stood at the bottom of the steps.
“How’re you feeling?” Her warm smile and open posture put April at ease immediately.
“Okay, I guess. A little tired.”
Ella sat on a step and patted the space next to her for April to sit. “It’s only going to get worse the longer you stay here. Won’t you come back with me? You won’t even have to talk to him.”
She shook her head and twirled a piece of her hair. “I can’t go back. I don’t belong there.”
“Well, you don’t belong here either. You’re an Angel now, and your home is in the Angelic Realm.”
The Rest of Forever: A Guardian Angel Paranormal Romance Page 9
