by CJ Roberts
Casey straightened up indignantly, then burst into a fit of giggles at the sight of all the hibiscus flowers that were cradled in her lap. She had made a collection of the fiery red blossoms that decorated the hollowed-out pineapple shells that held the potent drinks. Sighing, Casey settled back into the bucket seat, her eyes glaring in silent condemnation at the jeep’s gear box that kept her separated from Travis. She would have preferred to snuggle against his hard body than a leather cushion.
The night had been wonderfully romantic. A day-into-evening interlude filled with music, laughter, candlelight, superb food and exotic drinks. Even now the tropics still continued to seduce her senses. The balmy ocean breeze and the swaying palms combined their charms with the full silvery moon that hung suspended in a dark blue sky whose diamond-bright stars dazzled the eyes.
It had been the perfect prelude to what lay ahead. A warm rush of heat and excitement coursed through Casey’s veins, in a few more miles Travis would turn the jeep onto the dirt drive that led to the villa and they would end their evening on a note of higher intimacy in bed.
In bed. Those two words echoed in a loud distressing refrain in Casey’s mind. Her dry tongue nervously tried to moisten even drier lips. She fidgeted uncomfortably in the bucket seat and edged her body closer to the low, steel door. It would have been better if they had stayed in the borrowed apartment in Acapulco, she brooded. By now the sex part would have been over and she could have relaxed and enjoyed just being with Travis.
Her anxieties and trepidations overwhelmed her sensibilities. Her body seemed paralyzed with numbing fear. You know what you’ve done, don’t you? You have succumbed to the lure of your surroundings. The tropical charm and exotic stimuli had made her feel brave enough to experiment and take risks she would never have taken at home. In sensible proper Boston, hormones never controlled wisdom!
It would be so much safer and simpler to leave everything the way it was. If they yielded to their hormones tonight, what would happen tomorrow in the proverbial cold light of day? Their wonderful relationship would be all tied up in sexual knots.
Casey rubbed her suddenly throbbing forehead with shaking fingers. She was playing for more than she could afford to lose. Unlike the cliff divers she had watched earlier, she was afraid to take the plunge. She was still a coward. The past few weeks of getting in touch with herself and understanding her own feelings had changed nothing. She was still vulnerable and emotionally insecure when it came to being natural and uninhibited with a man.
She looked over a Travis, he was totally preoccupied with driving and unaware of the upheaval going on inside of her. Casey needed to have him tell her everything would be all right. That she would be all right. But he just sat there – driving. Men! They were always so damn secure and unashamed.
A fine rage began to burn deep inside of Casey as she waged a private inner battle to regain her autonomy. Why was it everyone thought they could manipulate her? Despite her Amazonian proportions, people had always treated her like a spineless jellyfish. Travis was no different. He had been pushing her around from the very beginning. He had invaded her vacation, invaded her writing, invaded her life and now…now he wanted to invade her body.
Well, she wasn’t going to let him! Casey straightened up and squared her shoulders. Anger and hostility had fortified her spirit and restored her courage. She was not going to put herself through another sexual trauma like the last two times. She had been managing just fine with her celibate life-style and damn, she wasn’t going to get hurt again.
Travis would be upset and annoyed. He might even get violent. She swallowed nervously at that thought. Okay she was pretty good at kick boxing, but where the hell would she run to? Where could she go? There was no one to even hear her screams!
Screams! After all, what did she really know about Travis Craig? He seemed quite ordinary and kind and helpful but…but so had the Boston Strangler! Travis could be a fugitive or a maniac or a sexual pervert! How did she really know he was a college professor? Maybe he had met Mike in a bar or something. Her fingers curled around the door handle of the jeep. My God, what kind of man have I been living with!
“Well, here we are.”
Travis’s deep voice broke through the chaotic jumble of thoughts that were still wrestling in Casey’s brain. She didn’t wait for him to help her out of the jeep but hastily marched up the villa’s front steps, unlocked the door, and entered the quiet house. Casey snapped on the light, flooding the room with a soft amber glow. “Travis –” she cleared her throat, trying to ignore the constricting band that threatened to squeeze off her oxygen, “I think it might be better if you just drove back and stayed at the apartment in Acapulco until it’s time for you to catch a plane to Michigan.”
One dark brow rose satirically. “By myself?” He moved to stand directly in front of her.
Casey nodded and wrapped her arms protectively around her waist. “This whole thing was a big mistake. My coming here was a mistake, letting you stay was a mistake, and today…tonight was an even bigger mistake.”
His tawny eyes narrowed, watching her closely. “Instead of sleeping on the way home, I see your imagination was working overtime.” Travis’s voice lowered persuasively. “Take it easy, honey. Sit down and let me –”
“I am not going to let you do a damn thing! You have been trying to control me, and it just won’t work. I am my own person and I can make my own decisions. I’ve decided that I am not getting physically involved with you.”
Travis reached out, grabbed her shoulders and gave her a rough little shake. “Casey, for heaven’s sake, tell me what’s going on inside that head of yours!”
She tried to pull herself free, but his fingers burned deeper into the soft flesh of her upper arms. “Let me go, Travis.” Her eyes filled with tears.
“You’re acting ridiculous.” He gave her another shake, saw the tears streaming down, cursed, then hugged her stiff body tight against his own. “Listen to me. I love you and I’m not just saying that to get between your legs. There’s nothing to worry about.”
He bent his head, letting his lips and tongue taste the sweetly scented skin on the side of her neck. “Just relax. I promise everything will be fine. I’m not going to do anything to hurt you.” His hands slid over her shoulders and down her spine, pressing her close against him.
Casey’s heart beat a frantic tattoo beneath her breast. “Travis, please…” Her voice held a tremulous plea as her body reacted to his obvious erection and the tingling sensations he was creating against her flesh.
“Please what?” His warm breath tickling her ear. “Tell me what you want,” he urged hoarsely. “Tell me what will give you pleasure.” Travis didn’t wait for her reply. His demanding mouth twisted hungrily over her lips, his hard tongue thrusting into the moist sweetness eager to savor his own pleasure.
She tried to pull away, but his virile fingers tangled in her hair and imprisoned her head. His kisses were stronger than the alcohol she had consumed. His insistent tongue raped her strength and crippled her resolve while inflaming her own carnal desires.
Travis gently pulled her head back, exposing her slender throat to his exploring lips. “Casey, you are a delicious torture to my sanity.” His voice was thick and his breathing labored. His face nuzzled the base of her throat. “I have never met a woman I wanted to make love to more than you.”
Casey stood in the shadowed living room, her face contorted in her private anguish. More tears began rolling down her cheeks. “Travis.” The word was torn from deep within her. “I am not the woman you think I am.” She wrenched herself free from his arms and ran into her bedroom, securely snapping the door lock.
“Casey!” Travis’s fists slammed against the door. “What the hell are you playing at? Come out of there!” The wooden door vibrated under a constant barrage of pummeling. “Casey!”
8
“Travis!” She slammed her own fist against the door. “Travis, stop acting like an animal and li
sten to me.” Abruptly the pounding ceased. “That’s better.”
Casey took a deep calming breath, then pressed her cheek against the smooth molding around the doorframe. “I know you think I’m acting like a prick tease or like some hysterical schoolgirl and you’re right.”
The tip of her tongue wet her dry lips. “Travis, you don’t know how lucky you are that although I am hysterical, I am still sensible. Just stop and think. Do you really want to make love to a paranoid person? A person who is a seventy-three inch anxiety attack just waiting to happen? A person whose sexual performance rating is zero? Travis, I ask you, is that the type of person you want to get involved with?”
Ten strong fingers curved around her shoulders. Casey screamed and found herself spun around. “Yes, that’s exactly the type of person I want to get involved with,” Travis told her matter-of-factly.
“You scared me to death.” She swatted his chest with both her hands. “You’re supposed to be on the other side of the door.” She sniffed pathetically. “How did you get in here?”
He gave her a cocky grin. “You left the sliding doors unlocked.” Travis slid his arms around her, cradling her trembling body against his solid frame.
All the fight had gone out of Casey. She collapsed against his strength, resting her head on his shoulder and letting him rock away her fears. Her anxieties and apprehensions dissolved in the warmth of his embrace. Moonlight flooded the room. Luminous shadows molded his rugged physique with invincible virility while casting her’s in a vulnerable, ethereal glow.
His fingers snaked through the waves of her hair and pulled her head up. “Casey, you know I love you. Did you lie this afternoon when you said you loved me?” Travis’s voice was low, his gaze was riveted on her tear-streaked face.
“No. I do love you.” She stared at him, searching his carved features for some sign of understanding. “But you deserve someone better than me. Someone who knows how to take you to the heights of passion, someone who knows where and how to touch you…someone like…like… ménage a trois girl.”
“Ménage a trois?” He echoed and blinked at her. “Listen, I have no intentions of sharing you with a woman and definitely will not watch another man’s cock go into you.” His tone was savage, his fingers pressing harshly into the soft skin of her shoulders. “I don’t care what happened before. I don’t care how many men you’ve been with. I don’t care –”
“That’s just the point,” she broke in awkwardly, her eyes faltering from his fierce expression. “I’ve only had sex with two other men and failed miserably.”
Travis shook his head. His hands dropped to his sides. “What?”
Casey stumbled across the room and sat on the bed. While she felt wholly embarrassed, she was glad the truth had finally come out.
Travis settled himself beside her. His right hand slid under her hair. His long fingers tenderly stroked the nape of her neck. “Tell me about it. Let’s get everything out in the open.”
For a long while, Casey simply continued to stare at the play of shadows dancing on the wall, but her mind was busy reconstructing events from the past. When she finally spoke, her voice sounded oddly detached. “I was in college and in love with a basketball player and I thought he was in love with me. We had been dating steadily for six months; our relationship was the usual necking and petting. Then one night, in typical stupid romantic fashion, I decided to shed my virginity, thinking that would bind us forever.” Casey wriggled uncomfortably. She wondered why everything sounded so innocuous ten years later when, at the time, these same events had scarred her emotions and devastated her life.
“He drove behind the scoreboard on the athletic field, which was our own private lover’s lane. We were both very eager, but then everything just fell apart. I blamed it on the cramped back seat of his car.
“So we planned it better the second time by going to a motel.” Casey sighed expressively. “Only the same thing happened again. He said it was my fault. That he’d never gone soft before. That I couldn’t keep him aroused. And then, a few years later…I got involved with a very nice reporter and…well…same thing. He said it wasn’t him. It was me. So I just…you know, gave up.”
Casey turned to Travis, her expression very serious. “They were nothing compared to you. If I couldn’t excite them, how can I possibly stimulate you.”
“This is what’s been tearing you apart all this time?” She nodded. Travis groaned, his hand rubbed the tension from the back of her neck. “Casey, how could an intelligent woman like yourself let some inexperienced frat boy’s with locker-room mentalities completely demolish your self-esteem and make you blind to your own sensuality?”
“It wasn’t just them. I’ve gotten that same reaction from men most of my life. It’s demoralizing and inhibiting. I’ve always been uncomfortable about my body, but it isn’t something that can be fixed. Even my father was ashamed of me.”
“Well, I am not ashamed of you. And frankly, if your father was alive, I would have decked him by now.” He stood up and towered over her, his eyes glittering in the dusky light. “But I will admit, thinking about you makes me very uncomfortable, especially when I’m in bed.” He grinned wolfishly, grabbed her hands, and pulled her up and against him. “As for the college jerks, I don’t know whether to kick their asses or shake their hands. It’s easier to make an impression when you don’t have a lot of scar tissue to remove.”
Casey looked at him, a worried frown marring her face. “What about me? What about all the scar tissue I have to overcome? I’ll be wondering how I rate against all the other women you’ve had sex with.”
Travis’s mouth twisted into a humorless grin. “I admit I have had sex with more than a few women in my time. Safe sex. Very unsatisfying over-and-out brief encounters, and you know how badly my engagement ended. I was a lover always searching for someone to love and just finding sex until you walked into my life.”
His voice deepened with the sincerity of his emotions. “You are the first woman I will make love to. Sex is tangible and physical and, yes, I want to share that with you. But love is a lot harder to explain, as are my feelings. And I’m not going to deny, my first reaction to you was to silently thank Mike for one helluva vacation gift.”
Casey shook her head and slipped her arms around Travis’s neck. “I don’t suppose you could be persuaded to wait until tomorrow. I’m positive I can lose ten pounds, shorten myself by at least twelve inches and become petite and dainty and clinging and helpless.”
Travis laughed, tightening his arms around her slender waist. “I don’t want you to be all those things. I love you just the way you are.” He studied the rounded contours of her upturned face, his eyes darkening with desire. “Trust me, honey, you are all the lover I will ever need.”
The sensuous timbre of his voice has a calamitous effect on her nervous system. “Okay, just remember if this all goes south, it’s not you, it’s me.”
“You are damn right it’s you!” His hands moved quickly down her back to cup the curve of her ass, grinding her hard against him. “And as you can plainly feel, it has gone south.”
“Oh, my…” the heat in her face echoed the flash of heat between her legs.
“That’s been my problem since the day I met you.” At her shy expression, he kissed the corner of her mouth. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you smile. I miss seeing your dimple.” He brushed his lips against her cheek, letting his tongue trace and explore the deep indentation that had formed in her soft skin.
“It does have a mate,” she whispered provocatively, letting the rounded curves of her body conform to his sinewy length.
“Really? That sounds like a most intriguing invitation.” His hands slid up her bare arms, his fingers following the V of her neckline to the buttons on the front of her sundress. The red, material-covered fasteners easily succumbed to his skilled competent touch. Releasing her narrow belt, Travis pushed the dress off her shoulders. It drifted into a pool of silk around he
r feet, leaving her in a lacy black bra and matching bikini panties.
“God, you are gorgeous.” He groaned. “You have no idea how jealous I was of my underwear tumbling around with yours. I envied static cling.”
Casey giggled, stepping out of the dress and out of her sandals, her bare feet kicking them to one side. She undid the buttons of his white shirt and tugged it off his muscular torso. Her fingers stumbled with the buckle on his wide leather belt, finally released it, and then boldly unzipped his trousers. Slacks and sandals joined the ever-growing pile of clothing on the bedroom carpet.
Slowly, they drew together, their flesh melding their bodies in shared heat. Casey’s head lolled to one side as Travis’s lips tantalized the sensitive cord on the side of her neck. His mouth leisurely explored her throat before gently capturing her parted lips. He took his time. His firm imaginative tongue lightly darted into her mouth, savoring the honeyed moistness beyond.
She exhaled a contented sigh, spreading her hands over his broad chest, letting her smooth fingernails zigzag over his hair-roughened skin, delicately scratching the tough, erect nipples buried beneath the dark curls.
His kisses became more than gentle. Travis abandoned his languorous assault to fiercely capture her eager lips and brand his ownership on her soft mouth. His deft fingers unhooked her bra and easily disposed of it so he could feel her satiny skin against him.
Casey felt her own body grow exquisitely sensitive, releasing wild, delicious sensations that attacked every nerve. Her full breasts trembled beneath his firm hands, her nipples tingling under his caressing fingers and hungry mouth. She moaned softly, her eyes wide and luminous. “Travis…” the ache in her voice matched the fire that pulsed in her core.
He pushed her away slightly, and efficiently dispensed with her lace panties and his briefs. “You have no idea how many times I wanted to kick down your door…” He roughly pulled her into his arms, his rigid cock prodding her insistently. “And throw you on that bed…”
