by CJ Roberts
“Okay. Have fun.” I smiled and turned to walk down the street. I knew Megan would stay outside and watch me the entire way. This area was well lit, and plenty of people were out. I reminded myself that I was a grown woman, and could walk two blocks by myself. I didn’t know if it was the newly found motivation or the alcohol that inspired me, but I yanked my cell out of my back pocket and did the thing I had been too afraid to do for the past four days.
I called Adam.
He answered after the first ring. “Katelyn. What’s wrong?”
My words stuck to the back of my throat. This was a bad idea. I knew it, yet I didn’t hang up. “Why do you assume something’s wrong?”
“Because it’s one o’ clock in the morning.”
I took a heavy breath. “Yes, something is wrong. You didn’t call. I’m sure that typical one-night stands don’t require a phone call, but I’ve been racking my brain as to why I care. Why this bothers me so much.”
“You’re drunk,” he stated.
“And you’re an asshole. I’ve fought with myself for days. I’ve even convinced myself that I’m in the wrong because I knew what this was going into it. But you know what? It wasn’t just the sex or you leaving that stung the most. It was everything you did before that.”
“And what was that?”
His voice was calm, deep, and mine was starting to get louder. “You pretended to care.” I ran my free palm down the side of my face. “You messed with my emotions on purpose.”
“Damn it, Katelyn. You didn’t tell me you were a virgin!” His tone made me jump. Embarrassment flash-flooded my entire body.
“I—I didn’t know that there would be…blood. I didn’t mean to gross you out.”
“I wasn’t grossed out. I was surprised. Jesus, the way I treated you…” He exhaled loudly. “You should have told me.”
“What difference does it make?”
“A big fucking difference! I—”
My eyes went wide. Adam never stuttered. He always sounded totally confident and assured. Now, anger and frustration coated every word. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Katelyn.”
Tears stung the backs of my eyes like annoying little bees. I wouldn’t be weakened. I wouldn’t be that sad, terrified little girl who just wanted to be loved—to be wanted. I would not let him know that the last four days had been like living inside a lightless, depressing hole.
I wanted to fight. To be mad and tell him that he had no power over me—even though he did. “Well, you did hurt me, just not in the way you think.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m walking home.”
“What? You’d better not be by yourself. Tell me that Megan is with you.”
A sharp stab of rage boiled over. “I’m not a child. I can walk two blocks by myself!”
I hung up the phone. I was so sick of it all. Sick of being pitied, sick of feeling like half a person. The call with Adam hadn’t made me feel any better. Of course, the alcohol churning in my gut wasn’t helping either. I looked both ways before crossing the street.
I finally reached my building and rounded the corner toward the front entrance. I gasped in shock. “You’ve got to be joking.”
Adam paced near the front door and when he saw me, bolted toward me.
“How the hell—”
He didn’t slow down until I was against him. Breath knocked from my lungs as he wrapped those strong arms around me.
“You said you were two blocks away from your home. Which is also a couple of blocks from my office.”
“You were at your office?”
He nodded. I noticed that his five o’clock shadow looked more like ten. He must have skipped a day shaving. He was in jeans, plain black shirt, and leather jacket. It just wasn’t fair for one man to be that gorgeous and dangerous looking. His McLaren was still running and parked right in front of my complex.
“Come with me.” He motioned to his car.
“I can’t.” I used the most authoritative tone I could muster.
“We need to talk, Katelyn. Get. In.”
I pulled away from him and put a good three feet between us. Crossing my arms over my chest, I pursed my lips.
“You want to hash this out here, then?” He stepped closer, shoving all that masculine swagger into my personal space.
I glared at him.
“I can see in your eyes that you have much more you want to say to me.”
That was true. I did. I wanted to scream and yell and hit him. Then I wanted to kiss him.
“There are a few things I’d like you to hear from me as well.”
His stance was strong, one that dared anyone to defy him. But there was a softness behind his deep voice that made my better judgment melt. I wanted to listen, to speak, to just be in his presence. Getting this close to Adam again was a suicide mission, but I had to. For no other reason than I was addicted. Maybe if I heard the words come from his own lips—if he just told me that he’d used me and didn’t want me anymore—than I could completely let this go.
I walked to the passenger side of his car and he opened the door for me. We drove in silence to his high-rise apartment, which was in the middle of downtown and not far away. I don’t remember much of the elevator ride, but I did see that he hit the top floor button and had a key to the elevator. When the doors opened, it delivered us straight into his penthouse.
Everything was modern. Immaculate, but sterile. Not an ounce of warmth—only function and high-end décor that he’d obviously paid someone else to impose. It now made sense why Adam had called my little shoebox of a home “cozy.”
He put his hand on the small of my back and led me to the kitchen. The entire floor plan was open and spacious, and the massive living room windows overlooked the water. I sat down at the breakfast nook. He placed a glass in front of me and remained standing.
I palmed my forehead and looked up at Adam. “What is this?”
“Water.”
“I know that. I mean this.” I motioned between our bodies. “Do you really get off on toying with people?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Then say something, Adam. Anything.”
“You misled me, Katelyn. You should have told me you were innocent.”
“What would it have changed?”
“Everything!” He ran his hand through his hair and took two steps to the side before facing me again. “The way I handled you in my office—was that a first, too?”
“Yes, it was. And I’m an adult and can do what I want. Just because I was a virgin doesn’t mean it puts some kind of responsibility on you.”
“The hell it doesn’t.” Why was he mad? I thought the whole losing-your-virginity thing was important only to girls. All that mattered to me was Adam, and why he’d treated me the way he had, then left.
“I didn’t want you to be with me because you felt guilty or obligated.”
“Those two things are the furthest from what I feel for you.” His eyes bored into mine. “Are you on birth control?”
“Why does that matter? You wore a condom.”
He nodded. “Yes, but I want to know for future encounters.”
“Wait, what?” Was the alcohol making me hallucinate? I was certain I hadn’t heard him right. “Adam, I haven’t talked to you in days. You disappeared the last time we…” I didn’t know what word to use. Fucked? Made love? Instead, I just waved my hand in his general direction and went with, “The last time we were together. Now you’re thinking about the future? Assuming I’d even give you that chance?”
“You will. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”
My ire was rising. “You didn’t give me much of a choice.”
“You always have a choice, Katelyn.” He leaned forward and put his palms on the table behind me, caging me in. “Are you on birth control?”
Yes, I was. I had been since the age of thirteen because my periods got so bad. “Yes. But that doesn’t protect against everything.”
“I have documentation I can show you that I am clean and healthy,” he stated.
I shook my head. “Look, this is a moot point. I came here because I wanted to know why you went out of your way to pursue me if you only intended to retreat immediately. But I realize now that it doesn’t matter.” I swallowed hard and gathered my courage. “This is too much, and I’m done.”
He loomed over me like a predator. “You weren’t honest with me and I admit that I handled it poorly, but you need to be aware that we are not finished.”
“Funny, because disappearing for days would have led me to believe otherwise.”
“I was going to come see you tomorrow.”
“Oh, well then, I guess all this is solved.”
“Don’t be sarcastic.”
“Don’t tell me what to do!”
He moved his hands to grab the edge of the table, pushing himself further into me. I was eye level with his hard torso. The black cotton that lined it stretched over the hard ridges of muscle. I wanted to reach out and touch him. Scratch him. Bite him.
“I thought you liked it when I commanded you.” His voice was rough.
I tried to huff out a breath, but he was too close and his amazing scent was clouding my lungs. He was right, I did like it. I liked how he made me feel. Safe and desired—powerful and submissive all at the same time. He brought out contradicting emotions. High and low. Confused and restless. Manic and depressive.
No. That wouldn’t be me. That would never be me.
“I see you, Katelyn. You run from yourself.”
I couldn’t hold back my hurt any longer. “Is that why you fucked me, then ran?”
“What happened between us was a lot more than fucking.” His breath fanned over my forehead. “And yes, I ran. Because I didn’t know what the hell you had done to me.”
“I did to you?” I looked up at him with all the anger I felt. He was the one who affected me!
“You don’t make sense to me, Katelyn. I’ve spent the last four days trying to figure out how you could be innocent, yet dark. Sexy and maternal. One moment you’re ripping my shirt, the next you’re timid.”
“Exactly. Crazy emotions. You bring them out and that can’t happen.” I shook my head. “We’re done.”
“Oh, we’re nowhere near done. Whatever the hell it is that spooks you, I’ll find out. Then I’ll eliminate it.”
“I’m not giving you one more thing to manipulate me with.”
“Manipulate you?”
“This isn’t just about sex, Adam. That stunt you pulled with my face. What was that?”
“I found it interesting that you trusted me to touch you where you didn’t let others even come close.”
Fury bubbled over. “Interesting? Messing with someone like that is interesting?”
I shot to my feet. He moved just in time before I took out his face with the top of my head.
“I wasn’t messing with you, Katelyn.”
“You left!” I yelled. Those stupid tears I had been holding in rose to the surface. “Not a word, Adam! Not anything. It was like you were some kind of dream. You make me feel crazy.”
Crazy.
The concept danced around my brain. How many times had I heard that word? How many people had said that about my mother? Thought that about me?
I can’t be like her…
He moved in on me, his body pressing into mine. The edge of the table was digging into my backside. I placed my palms behind me for support. Damn it, I shouldn’t have had anything to drink. I knew better. It blurred my shield, let everything that I worked so hard to keep hidden slip out.
“I’m sorry, Katelyn.” He gripped my shoulders and stared down at my face. His eyes were like blue starbursts, wild and flickering with heat. “You confused me. I saw you with your cousin, then later that night—”
“What does Simon have to do with this?”
His expression was fierce. “I watched you tuck him in. Take care of him. Like you’d never let anything hurt him.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“I know. I saw that.”
I was so lost. What did my relationship with Simon have to do with this conversation?
“You’re not even his mother, yet you care for him. I knew how badly you wanted to get out of that house, but you wouldn’t leave until you were certain he was sound asleep. You stayed while his own mother and father kept company with random acquaintances all night. Would his mother have known if something had happened to him?”
I shrugged.
“No, they wouldn’t have. But you would.”
I frowned. Something had shifted in Adam. Something dark and sad.
“Adam?” My voice cracked and my words were barely a whisper. The man before me had his own demons, but the extent of them was where I was fuzzy.
“I fucked up, Katelyn.” His hands slid down to my hips. “I don’t deal well with the things you’re forcing upon me.”
“Oh, I’m forcing you?”
He grinned. “Woman, you have no idea of the power you hold.”
He lifted me to sit on the table and stood between my thighs. His breath was tickling over my collarbone.
I grabbed the hair at his nape, leaned in, and whispered, “I think I’m falling in hate with you.”
His hands clutched my ass and rocked me against his jeans-clad erection. “I hope so.”
He kissed me. Hard and deep. Like he’d missed me. And I kissed him back, because damn it, I’d missed him, too.
Gone. I was gone for this man. It was amazing what I clung to—an apology and a glimpse of the lost boy beneath the façade. It was that Adam I ached for. The one who commanded my body. The one I wanted to know and nurture. He wanted to eradicate the skeletons in my closet? I wanted to chase away that darkness in his eyes.
His mouth worked mine. Hot and quick. Passion and desire fueled me. I couldn’t get enough. I fumbled with the button on his jeans. I needed him inside me. Needed to feel that connection again, knowing that when it was severed and he was gone, it would only hurt worse. But like a junkie for a fix, I was desperate for Adam, any way I could get him.
He slid my pants off and threw them behind him, then yanked his jeans down low on his hips. His erection jutted free.
I spread my legs.
He tore my panties.
Fast. Hard. Desperate. I was clawing at him. Trying to find any bare skin I could to run my hands over. He yanked his shirt over his head and I was so grateful. I scored my nails down the hard muscles of his stomach. He hissed and gripped the backs of my knees, pulling me closer. Right when I dug my heels into his ass, he surged inside me.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he groaned and thrust again. “Does it hurt? Are you sore?”
“No.” I clung to his shoulders. “It feels amazing.”
“You feel amazing.” He pushed deep, over and over. I loved that there was no barrier between us. I threw my head back and gasped. Wrapping one strong arm around my lower back, he fucked me harder.
The whole table shook. The cup of water toppled over, rolled to the floor, and shattered. The sound of glass breaking only urged me on. Apparently it did Adam as well, because he went wild.
He bit at the swell of my breast, undoubtedly leaving teeth marks. I braced my hands behind me and arched into him. He consumed me. Every part of me was on fire and calling out to him to drive the inferno higher. Hotter.
My arms lost strength, so I lay back on the table. Spread out, totally open, I let him have me.
“This—” He gripped my hips in his hands and pounded hard. “This is what you do to me.”
He buried that big cock into me again and again while yanking my body toward his to meet every thrust. My breasts bounced, the thin shirt unable to conceal them with the few strings provided. Adam leaned down and ripped it away, then latched on to my nipple. He alternated between deep suction and toying flicks of his tongue. I wound my fingers in his hair and clutched him to me.
“God, yes!”
He sucked harder right before he bit the sensitive peak. I came undone. My orgasm raced over me. Fireworks burst in my blood vessels and I cried out from the intensity. The pleasure was so sharp, it bordered on pain. And all the while, Adam fucked me through it.
With a groan, he came and I felt the pressure of his release all the way to my core. Warmth spread and simmered. I felt his seed inside me, coating me.
I was marked. Claimed.
My arms and legs wove around him, clutching him close with everything I had. I was not ready to let him go. Not ready to let him leave my body. I would beg if I had to, but he couldn’t leave me. Not this time. I couldn’t handle it. It made me weak, and I should be ashamed. But he was imprinted on my every cell. I might not want to need him, but that was what had happened.
Adam didn’t draw away. He merely wrapped his strong arms around me and lifted me up. Still inside me, he walked down a long hallway. I held on as best I could, but I was limp and dazed.
He slowly pulled out of me. Cool sheets hit my back. I was exhausted. This past four days had weighed heavily on me and all of a sudden, after having Adam, it seemed to disappear. I just needed him. A warm cloth rubbed between my thighs. I didn’t have to open my eyes to know Adam was cleaning me, taking care of me. Then a thick comforter engulfed me.
“Sleep now, lover.”
The alcohol and orgasm induced sleep was creeping up on me. My body tensed. I looked around.
“Shh…” Adam’s hand came down on my shoulder. “You’re in my room. My bed. I’m not leaving this time.”
I settled back down, too tired to argue. Too tired to even speak. I lay on my stomach and slid myself down so my foot dangled off the end of the mattress.
“What are you doing?” Adam’s voice was sounding further and further away as sleep surrounded me.
“So I know where I am.” I tapped my foot along the edge of the mattress. “So I know how far away the ground is.”
“Why do you need to know where the ground is?”
The answer seemed obvious in my drunken stupor. “So if she comes in…I can run…”
I thought I heard him say, “You’re safe here,” but sleep enveloped me before I could be sure.
10
