“Don’t look so worried,” she whispered. “His bark is much worse than his bite. I know, he really barked last night.”
Roaring Thunder could hear her perfectly, but chose not to comment. The portraits Jared drew were excellent. He captured all that was Brave Heart. He saw her non-physical beauty and recreated it. This was the work of a man in love. In his dreams he couldn’t see whom she would marry.
“Brave Heart, Wolf, go pick the remainder of the apples for the tribe.” Roaring Thunder needed to speak to Jared without his youngest siblings in the room.
Brave Heart and Wolf left to pick the apples. Roaring Thunder sat at the table beside Jared. “This is my brother Running Elk.” Running Elk nodded at Jared and took a seat.
Roaring Thunder didn’t know where to start, so he opened one of Jared’s sketchpads. “You are very good.” He turned to a portrait of Joy playing tug-of-war with Night or Day. He couldn’t tell which one.
“Brave Heart wants me to allow you to stay here with her, but I’m not sure I should. Would you like to return to town? Brave Heart never goes to town, but I could have Running Elk take you?”
“I’d rather stay on the mountain.”
“Why?” Wolf had told him the mountain called to Jared. He waited to see if Jared would speak the truth. He liked that Jared didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he took his time—hopefully in thought— before he answered.
“In a way, I was called to this mountain. I need to be here. I was in the War Between the States and lost someone very dear to me. When he died, I lost a part of myself. I came to California, running away from the pain. Since I’ve been here, the pain isn’t as bad anymore. I’d rather stay.”
“With Brave Heart.” Roaring Thunder finished the sentence the way he knew Jared wanted to.
“I wouldn’t do anything to dishonor Joy.” He stressed her name. “Joy’s become very important to me. We understand each other. Yes, I’d like for her to stay with me.”
“You are in love with Brave Heart.”
“Joy is my friend.”
Roaring Thunder stood and offered a single nod. “I will speak with Brave Heart.” He turned and left, liking the way Jared kept calling Brave Heart Joy. It told him he saw her as a woman and not the warrior she liked to portray.
Roaring Thunder took his sister to the side for a heart-to-heart. “He is a good man. He will make you a good husband.”
Her eyes grew wider than saucers. “I’m not marrying Jared. He’s a white man. Him…”
“Don’t say it, Brave Heart. Why are you always defending him? He has no say or part in your life. He abandoned you.”
“No, he didn’t! He did the best he could. You just don’t understand. He couldn’t take care of me. He was all alone.”
Roaring Thunder flung out his arms. “He was all alone? What about you, Brave Heart? You were alone. You were only a child. You haven’t dealt with what happened to your family, and Jared has demons to fight also. You two need each other. He can stay.”
He pulled his huffing baby sister close to him. “I’m not mad at you, Brave Heart. I’m frustrated. He doesn’t deserve your loyalty, and you can’t see it. I love you. You have to accept your parents’ deaths and what he did to you. Until then, you will be stuck here. Do you understand what I’m saying? Not physically stuck, but emotionally stuck. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He smiled, knowing she’d be married to Jared come spring. Their father must have sent Jared to her. “We have to leave you now. You have plenty of supplies to last through the winter, and I’m leaving a pony just in case.”
Chapter Nine
The winter snow fell, making fall a distant past. Jared and Joy had become a couple of sorts. She’d hunt or work outside, and he’d fix their meals and keep the cabin clean. His arm healed completely, but he still wore the splint and stayed off his leg as best he could.
Neither knew how long it took a broken leg to heal, so he decided to stay off it as long as he could. From what he could tell, the break healed normally. Over the past few months, the pain was almost totally gone and now he could put pressure on it when Joy wasn’t watching.
He understood why her family called her Brave Heart, yet he worried whenever she went out. She always said she had to check on her land for trespassers and trouble. She would have made an excellent soldier.
Her bad nights decreased drastically the closer they became. One night she woke in his arms, gazed into his eyes, pulled him closer and went back to sleep. On that night, he knew he’d never leave her.
Joy entered the cabin with her catch of the day. He hated being stuck in the cabin doing woman’s work. He could hardly wait for his leg to finish healing. He returned to drawing.
She dropped the rabbits into the sink and washed her hands then sat on the couch in the living area. “Can I see what you’re drawing?”
He peeked over the pad. “No.” Teasing Joy always proved fun. Maybe he could goad her into an argument. He went back to his drawing.
“Why not?” She bent before him and examined his hurt leg
Her hands on him drove him crazy. She’d just come from outside, but instead of being cold her touch set him on fire. He tried to change his train of thought by watching the snow. He’d told Roaring Thunder he wouldn’t dishonor her and found it hard to keep his promise. “Do you know what the date is?”
“No, I think it’s December though. Now can I see what you’re drawing?” She stood in front of him and held out her hands.
He grinned. “What do I get if I let you see it?” She was no longer afraid to look into his eyes, and she let him hold her if she were dreaming. But he wanted more.
“I don’t like trading with you. I always lose.” She pouted and dropped onto the couch.
“Didn’t you cut my hair last week? Look at me.” He drew his fingers through the uneven cut.
“You can’t see it anyway,” she said cheerfully and walked into the kitchen. “I found an old winter coat in the storage shed. I hung it in the barn to let it air out.”
“That’s great. I’d love to go outside more.” He placed his sketchpad on the table and went into the kitchen. “Have you ever thought about leaving this mountain?”
“Yes. But where would I go? This is my home.”
Relieved to hear she’d be willing to leave the mountain, his spirits lifted. He didn’t like the winter in Alabama, and he definitely didn’t want to live in the too- cold mountains of California the rest of his life.
He racked his mind the rest of the evening, trying to figure out how to convince her to accept him. They had a bond, but she wouldn’t release her final fears. He knew the key to her fears lay in her parents’ deaths. If he could help heal her wounds, she’d be free to accept his love.
“Jared, are you all right.”
He gazed into those big, brown, expressive eyes and admitted to himself he had fallen in love.
Her brows furrowed in worry. “You seem distant.”
His mind swirled in disbelief. “I’m just tired.” How could this have happened? He was actually calculating how to convince her to leave with him. Crazy. No, it would never work.
“Do you want me to rewrap your splint?”
“I think I’ll just go to bed. Goodnight.” He handed her his sketchpad and went to bed.
Joy flipped to the last page of the pad. She loved Jared’s artwork. Lately it changed into more complicated and deluded visions. She knew he worked through his bad dreams using his drawings. She cursed herself for forgetting to have Wolf buy more sketchpads on his last trip. She should go to town before the snow made it impossible for her to buy him more paper.
She had intended on purchasing more art supplies before the real snow started, but her fear caused her to procrastinate and she knew Wolf would be too busy to return to town for her. Now she saw Jared needed to draw in order to work through his problems. She wondered what caused his dreams. He never talked about the war. She asked, but he didn’
t want to talk about it. She definitely needed to make the trip into town.
Joy checked on Jared before returning to her room. Since he was asleep, she took her bath. She leaned back in the tub, staring up at the wood beams of the ceiling. She hadn’t been to town in nine winters. If she remembered correctly, she could get there and back in one day. She’d leave first thing in the morning.
Jared heard the shot and saw his brother fall, but where had he gone? He searched high and low, but couldn’t find him. Jared choked on the air. What had become thicker, the smoke or death? He ran toward his brother’s cry and found him mortally wounded. He dragged Roger from the battlefield.
Roger was slowly dying. Jared’s head dropped in despair, knowing he’d never recover from the pain of losing his twin. He wouldn’t let him die.
“Jared, why are you here?” Joy appeared out of the smoke.
He had tried to save his brother hundreds of times, but was always too late. This time would be different. “I have to save him.”
She held her hand out to Jared. “If you want to save him, let him go. Don’t make him stay in this place.” She motioned around the smoky, death-filled battlefield.
“You don’t understand. I have to save him.”
“Then let him go.”
Jared gazed into his dying brother’s eyes. “Let me go, Jared. I don’t want to stay here. Please, let me go.”
Jared woke in a cold sweat. Above his bed hung Joy’s dream catcher. He laughed inside, thinking about her threatening to hang it if he didn’t tell her what was wrong.
He stretched and dropped his legs from the bed to the floor. “Night, come on boy. It’s time to go outside.” Night didn’t run in as usual. Jared lay back in the bed to see if Joy was in her room. He didn’t see her through the fireplace. He dressed and went into the kitchen.
“Joy.” She was nowhere in the cabin. It was snowing again, so he knew she wouldn’t go far. He went out to the barn. “Joy.” He returned to the house and found a note in the kitchen.
I’ll be back late tonight.
I have the wolves with me.
Stay off your leg.
Joy
Though she’d basically been on her own for the past eight years, he worried. She was his joy, and he’d never been so happy in his life. He’d left his home to disappear in the West. The South had nothing for him. He hated slavery and all of the prejudices that went along with it and reconstruction was no better.
Day scratched on the door, barking. Jared jumped up to see what was wrong. He opened the door. Day ran in and grabbed him by his pant leg. “Oh, my God, no.” He snatched the rifle from above the fireplace and ran to the barn. He put on the coat and followed Day into the woods. He wouldn’t let the freezing night air, winter snows, or pain in his leg keep him from his Joy.
Day led him to Joy’s pony. Someone had shot it. The panic began to take over his thoughts. “Find Joy, Day.”
Day sniffed around the ground. After a few minutes, they were on the run again. Unwilling to accept thoughts of life without Joy, he followed Day, wondering why God would put Joy into his life, then take her away? He couldn’t lose her now.
Day led him to Night. “Where’s Joy?” They both followed Night to Joy’s hunting cave. Perfectly camouflaged, Jared didn’t see it until they were on it. Too dark to see into the cave, he turned to the wolves. “Is she in there, Night? Stay.”
The two wolves stood guard outside the cave. “Joy, are you in here?” He stilled himself and listened for her, but didn’t hear a thing. “Joy, what’s wrong? What happened? I saw your horse.”
He stepped out of the cave. Visions of Joy being shot and dying in the cave sent his heart racing. He needed to light a fire to see and for warmth. He searched close to the cave, but the branches and sticks were either soaked or covered with an ice coating.
He paced at the entrance. “Calm yourself, calm.” His pulse slowed and his thoughts became clearer. “I’ve been here before.” He stopped and sat back on his haunches. He pictured the cave in his mind. He could see a few crates off to the right and a stack of wood toward the back. He returned to the cave and tripped over a crate he didn’t remember. He continued to the rear and stumbled into the wood, then created a fire.
He still didn’t see Joy. He strained to pull out the heavy crates. After what seemed like an eternity, he found her rolled in a ball on the ground behind the crate he had bumped into. The site of her lifeless body sent a chill down his spine. He couldn’t lose her. Not now. Not this way.
He carried her to the fire. She must have fallen in water because her coat and trousers had an ice coating on them. Her pulse, so faint, he almost missed it. “Thank God,” he whispered.
He tried to straighten out her body in order to survey for damage, and she woke. Her cloudy gaze locked on his eyes. “Make them go away,” she whispered.
Hearing her voice made his heart shout hallelujah. “It’s all right. I’m here now.”
“Make them go away. Please, make them go away.”
He began prying the gloves off her hands. “I have to get you out of these clothes. You’ll catch your death in them.”
She cried out, “Make them go away,” and hit at his hands.
He backed off slightly in order to regroup and try another approach. Calmly he stated, “I did.” He opened his coat and shirt. “They’re gone.” He placed her hands under his armpits. “You’re safe now.” He’d felt ice warmer than her tiny hands. He scanned the cave for something to cover her with. “Do you have any blankets or tents in here?”
The far off look in her eyes told him she was so disoriented she wouldn’t be of much help.
“Make them go away.” Her eyes closed.
She sounded so weak, felt so cold. He knew she was falling into the frozen sleep of death. “Joy, talk to me.” He searched through the crates for a blanket as he spoke. He was used to her taking her time to answer, but this was taking her too long. “Talk to me, Joy.”
“I’m tired, but I’m not cold anymore.”
He could barely hear her. “Don’t go to sleep on me. Tell me what happened.” He pulled items out of crate after crate. He found a lantern he set aside for later use.
“I don’t want to talk. I want to sleep.”
“Talk to me, Joy.”
“They were trying to rob me.”
He wasn’t listening to her. He was just making sure she said something. He found a blanket and wanted to sing. He pulled out the blanket and snapped out the dust as he approached her.
“You’ll have to undress and cover yourself with this. I’ll wait outside of the cave.” He saw her eyes had closed, so he knelt beside her and gently shook her awake.
Joy opened her eyes slowly. “I can’t. I’ll just stay in this. I’ll be fine.”
“No, you won’t. Now change.” He knew she was freezing to death and couldn’t think straight. He handed her the blanket and stalked out. “You have three minutes.”
A short while later, she called out, “Jared…Jared!”
He ran to her side. “Yes.” He placed his hand on her cheek. He couldn’t believe how cold she was. She coughed, filling his veins with anguish. Please don’t catch a fever, he prayed, for he knew nothing about healing.
“I need help.”
He’d left her alone because he knew she had misgivings about being touched. And now she asked him to undress her. He didn’t think it was possible, but she was worse than he’d thought. He helped her sit up, then undressed her and wrapped her in the blanket. “How did you get so wet?”
Her grin reassured his worried heart. “I found a new hot spring.” She coughed again.
The cave began warming, but the ground was freezing. He needed to keep her warm for the night, and they’d return to the cabin in the morning. He pushed a crate closer to the fire and draped her clothes across to dry.
He called out, “Night. Day.” The wolves ran to him. He pointed to the ground. “Day, down!” The wolf lay down. He positioned
Joy next to Day. He lay down behind Joy, opened his coat and cupped her body in his, keeping his back to the fire. “Night, down!” He pointed at her feet. Night warmed her lower body and feet with his body. Jared thought he’d burn up, so he knew she’d be thawed by morning.
Joy thanked God Jared had found her. There were men chasing her who would kill her like they did her mother if they caught her. She was hurt, cold, afraid, and couldn’t defend herself. She snuggled closer to Jared. Her back killed her, her hands and feet were numb, and the parts of her body that still had feeling ached. She couldn’t unbutton, unzip, unsnap, pull down, or pull over, so undressing herself hadn’t been possible.
“Rest, Joy,” Jared said softly into her ear.
Joy had gone into town to buy sketchpads and pencils. She took a handful of gold, not understanding its worth. When the clerk saw all she had, he told Joy to put it away before people saw. He took a small piece and advised her to deposit the rest in the bank. Joy had no use for banks, so she put the rest in her pocket and left. Unbeknownst to Joy, two men had seen her pay with gold and decided to rob her.
The thieves followed her out of town at a distance. When she entered the woods, they closed in with guns drawn. She heard them approaching and rode hard to where she’d left Day and Night. After they shot her horse, the chase put her mind back to when the men were after her mother. She sent Day home for Jared while she and Night tried to escape.
She ran to her supply cave and hid, then broke to pieces. She was ten again, terrified, and living through all of the emotions she pushed away in order to save her mother.
“Joy, wake up.” Jared placed his palm on her forehead. “Your skin is hot, but I can’t tell if it’s from the cocoon we’ve had you in or a fever.” She coughed. “That doesn’t sound good. We need to head back.”
Joy knew her lungs were filling with fluid, and she was coming down with a fever. Too weak to walk to the cabin, she knew she’d die soon. She thought back to her parents; the last thing both of them said to her was they loved her. She smiled inward at the thought. “I miss my parents.”
Journey's End Page 7
