“You’re right. It was stupid of me to even contemplate it.”
Liam stares at me for a very long time, and I watch as his face transforms from anger to pain to worry to uncertainty and then to pleading.
“What would I have to do?” he whispers now.
“No. We aren’t going to do this. Please, forget I said anything.” I look to Sera with the same pleading in my eyes that Liam had for me. Please, please. Find another way. I can’t do this to him.
“I did try. I knew this wouldn’t go over well with either of you. But their sanction was absolute.” Sera says with finality.
“Breckin,” Liam murmurs. I hadn’t realized it, but I’ve turned away from him to silently plea with Sera. “Breckin,” he says again. “Hey.”
“It was insensitive of me to put the idea in your head, Liam. We’ll just have to find another way.”
“This is important to you,” he says, pulling my face to his. His close proximity makes it hard to concentrate.
“It’s important to have you in my life. And I’m afraid you’ll feel like you always need to stay away if he’s still around. There will always be that chance that you will change your mind – when it becomes too much. Liam, it’d kill me if you left again.”
He sucks in a jagged breath and squeezes his eyes shut while placing is forehead to mine. He’s slightly trembling again, but this time I think it’s to reaction to my raw confession.
“Then I’ll do it.”
“What?”
“If this is what I need to do to prove to you that I’m not going anywhere. If this is what it takes to show you just how much I love you, I’ll do it.”
“Liam, that’s not what I -”
“Shh.” He says while placing his finger to my lips. “Whatever it takes,” he reminds me.
“Ok,” I acquiesce.
“Now, what do we need to do?”
“I’m not entirely sure,” I answer honestly, concentrating on breathing evenly. “I’ve never done this before and to be honest I’m a little scared.”
“Me too,” he murmurs.
“But Liam, we don’t have to,” I say, backpedaling. “I can’t make you go. I can see what this means and what it might do to you.” I shake my head. “I wish there was another way.” I can’t decipher the look to his glorious face now, but it rips agony through my body.
“And if we do this, it’ll free us of him?” he asks quietly. “Forever?”
“That’s the idea,” I reply.
His eyes are turning back to the blue-green color I adore and I can see him calculating different ideas in his head, although I’m sure he doesn’t exactly know what those ideas entail. But as long as it keeps us away from the Hollow Site, he’ll try to think of a way even though he’s already agreed to go. I can’t say as I blame him.
“I am curious – why can’t we do it here?” he asks after a moment. I look to Sera for an answer. Why hadn’t I thought to ask that?
“Because it seems the type of problem Joseph poses is one that needs him to be brought back to where his wandering started. He doesn’t realize he’s no longer living, remember? It’s where the line of life and death crossed – that will give us an advantage and make it easier for Liam to communicate with him. His family also waits for him there. When he crosses, that is where the door will open. If we get Joseph to follow you back to the Hollow Site, his soul can go through the motions of his death once more. He got confused when it came time to cross.”
“But I thought it was his guilt keeping him here?”
“That’s part of it. But the bigger reason for his attachment to Liam, the Eytsah believe he’s attached himself because Liam is the only living survivor from the accident, and since Joseph still believes himself to still be alive… well, let’s just say it’s important more than ever to get rid of him. Incidentally, that’s also a reason they believe he can sense Joseph; it’s a sign of spirit attachment.”
There’s more, I can see it in her eyes. She’s trying to hide something from me and this is very unlike her. She catches me questioning her with my what-aren’t-you-telling-me face and vanishes before I can grill her for an answer.
You can’t hide from me forever! I yell out in my head. I sigh and turn to Liam for a quick explanation.
“Because that’s where his presence will be strongest and where he got lost. To free him of his wandering, we need to take him to where it started.”
“Free,” Liam snorts.
“Yes,” I answer quietly. “Because he’s stuck Liam. He’s stuck between here and Home and doesn’t even know it. I doubt it’s a very pleasant place to be. I’d want help if it were available.”
“Well,” Liam sighs and then changing moods suddenly. “There is a bit of luck to this I suppose.”
“Luck?” I ask doubtedly.
“Mm-hmm.”
I stare at him with wide, expectant eyes and wait for him to elaborate. I have no clue where he’s going with this. I see no luck in the current situation at all. When he deciphers that I’m not going to give him much else in response, he chuckles.
“My mum sent me two tickets, round trip to England and back.”
“Why two?”
“Of course I didn’t mention it, because well…” he trails off.
I raise my eyebrows at him. “Why two tickets, Liam?”
Liam lowers his face to mine and speaks softly. His breath tickles my skin and I’m starting to get giddy with him so close to me. He lowers his gaze as if for dramatic effect and I’m sure he has no clue the power he possesses over me. I’m drunk with him and there’s absolutely no hope for me when he releases the intensity of his eyes upon me. Deep sapphire blue rimming a sea of aquatic paradise, staring at me as if I am the only one in existence. He looks up to me through thick black lashes and smiles his heartbreaking smile.
“Because my love,” he whispers. “She wants to meet the girl responsible for restarting my heart.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Mom, can I talk to you?”
Elly has begun to clear off the dinner table as we’ve finished eating our Christmas feast. I’ve been so nervous about asking her if I can fly to another country that I’d hardly touched the extravagant supper she’d managed to make. The roast had turned out perfectly, and of course Elly made all the appropriate side dishes for our meal after she’d returned home from work. Our house smelled much like Coach Dawson’s had earlier today. It all looked and smelled like perfection, but I just couldn’t get my stomach from performing nervous flip-flops. I have no idea how to ask permission to travel overseas, especially being Liam’s tickets are for the red-eye tonight. If we’re going to do this, he and I will need to leave for the airport in less than an hour.
That meant too, that Liam had to excuse himself for home so that he could finish packing and say goodbye to everyone. I had given him a very sternful look when he’d told me that he wasn’t going to go at all; he now wanted to stay with me. I admit that I don’t like the prospect of not seeing him for several days being that I’ve just gotten him back, but I would never expect him to skip a visit to see his family. He had kissed my cheek before leaving and promised to be back soon. He offered to stay and give a go at his persuading skills, but I assured him that that would probably be a bad idea. Elly isn’t the type to have her mind swayed easily from whatever decision she’s made, or will make for that matter. And I’m not feeling too good about her letting me go, so I figured defeat would be better taken in private.
“Sure, honey. What’s up?” she asks as she repeatedly taps a spoon against the bowl of mashed potatoes to remove the excess.
“Liam was here today,” I begin.
This seems to surprise her, but not as much as I’d thought it would. “Is that so?” she asks in an off-hand tone.
“Mmm hmm.”
“May I ask why?”
“We made up. Turns out he was just as miserable without me as I was without him. He drove over this afternoon, but not before
Ben showed up,” I say, making a face.
“Whaaaaaat? What the hell was Ben doing here?”
“Ugh, I know. He just showed up out of the blue and decided to give his hand at an apology.”
She laughs. “And how did that work out for him?”
“Not so well I’m afraid. Ben’s never been very good at saying he’s sorry. He said the words but he sounded anything but apologetic. And I wasn’t very nice to him either, I admit. Then Liam showed up while he was here.”
Elly peers up then, as she had been wiping down the table. “That must’ve been… awkward.”
“Yeah, you could say that. And dumbass Ben just doesn’t know when to shut his big trap. That much hasn’t changed. I kept asking him to leave, but he wouldn’t go. Oh yeah, and he brought flowers,” I note as I see the bouquet nestled against the corner of the wall where he had… er… fallen. “When Liam got here I really pushed for Ben to go and then he did thee utmost awful thing…. He kissed me!” My stomach churns at the memory and acid rises in my throat.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up. Ben kissed you? In front of Liam?” Elly gapes, shaking her head with thick disapproval. “Really? He kissed you?”
“Yeah. And it was just as awful as I remembered. Yack.”
Elly laughs again. I begin the water for dishes while Elly places the left-over’s in bowls meant for the fridge. I’m stalling, I know that. But I really have no idea how to ask what I need to ask. And I’m not so sure telling my mother about the current situation is such a good idea. She’ll already be unhappy with the fact that I’ve been hiding all of this from her – Joseph, the pain, Evie, my new found tricks. No, in this case I’m beginning to think it’s best to leave out the gritty details.
“I have a feeling that isn’t what you wanted to talk to me about,” she says, grabbing a dish towel.
“Oh,” I respond lamely. She knows me so well.
“Am I right?”
“Well… sort of.”
“Spit it out then. You’re not usually this quiet with me. Is something bothering you? Should I be worried?”
“Oh, no. No need to be worried.”
Elly places a hand on my arm and waits for me to look at her. I don’t know what she sees as I’m still deliberating inside, but her tone makes me think my face isn’t a very good one. “Breckin. You’ve never been afraid to tell me anything, so please don’t start with the secretive teenager crap now.”
Okay, I think. Suck it up and spit it out. I decide that truth will be the best policy. I’ll just leave out the part about Joseph and Evie.
“Liam’s going to visit his parents over break. Of course I just found this information out today being we haven’t talked in months. Anyway, his mom… um… thought it’d be, well, nice if… if I came along, too. He told me she bought me a ticket already and everything. Round trip.”
“To England?” Her voice raises an octave. This isn’t usually a good sign.
“Uh-huh,” I whisper. I’ve no clue yet which way Elly will swing. Her face has twisted into a mask of shock and disbelief.
“Wow. That’s generous.” That isn’t the response I’d expected.
“I know. I guess they want to meet me.”
“So you’re asking permission to go to England then. With a boy. Unsupervised.” Slight sarcasm in her voice now. They’re meant to be questions, but come out anything but.
“No, not exactly. We wouldn’t be totally unsupervised. We’d be staying at his parent's house. We’d just be alone on the trip there.” I notice that she hasn’t said anything about the fact that Liam and I have just reconnected, and why would a boy I haven't had in my life for months now be asking me to come along on a trip home with him.
Elly remains quiet as she deliberates; eyebrows pulled together, forehead wrinkled with worry. I keep my eyes focused on the ceramic dish I’m scrubbing and I rinse it slowly and carefully. I finish half the sink before she speaks again.
“When would you leave?” she asks flatly. Uh oh.
I glance to the clock above the stove. “Less than an hour.”
“Breckin!”
“I know, I know. It’s really short notice.” She gawks. “Okay! It’s extremely short notice. But, Mom, I really want to go. I think it’ll be fun.” My voice cracks on the word “fun”. That’s not exactly how I feel it will go.
Elly’s face is doubtful and her voice unsure. “I don’t know, honey.”
“I understand if you say no.” I say in a soft voice.
I consider turning on the pouty-me; something I’m very capable of when called for. It isn’t something I’m proud of – and if anything, a little bit ashamed of doing – but when push comes to shove and I really want something, I know how to play the game. It’s all in the tone of your voice and the facial expressions. This is when being an only child has its perks – no siblings to compete with for permissions.
“I mean, I know if I were a mom and my only daughter was asking to fly overseas without her, I’d be worried too. That’s a huge deal. But, Mom, you know that you have no reason not to trust me if that’s what you’re worried about.” Puppy dog eyes.
“Oh, I know that, honey. That’s not what I’m worried about so much.”
I finish the sink full of dishes and grab another towel to help Elly dry. “What are you worried about?” I ask while putting a glass in the cupboard. I keep my voice sweetly childlike. I can tell that she’s teeter-tottering on her decision. I’m shocked that she’s even considering it, so I need to strike while the irons hot.
“It’s just so far. How long would you be gone? God, and such ridiculously short notice.”
Elly looks very uncomfortable, to the prospect of telling me no I’m sure, as she can tell that I obviously want to go. And too, to the fact that if she allows me to go, I’ll be leaving before she’s had time to process the fact that I’m flying to another country with a boy that has recently destroyed me. I can understand her worry. I’ve never traveled more than an hour away from her and those trips were only day trips with girlfriends. And to add to it, I want to go with a boy who she only knows left me to rot without explanation. Yeah, I can definitely understand why she’s worried. The more I think about it, the more anxious I become to the thought of being away from her, too.
I keep my voice very innocent. “Seven days I think. We’d be back a couple of days before school starts up again.” Small smile.
Elly sighs heavily and then grabs me so that she can give me a very big hug. I have her. “Well, I guess we’d better hurry up if we’re going to get you packed in time. I assume Liam will be picking you up?”
I nod enthusiastically.
“You're lucky I like him. Even though he acted like a complete ass. He must have some killer make up skills.” She winks.
“Mom!”
“I have one stipulation.”
“Anything.”
“Before you go, I want to talk to his mother.”
“Deal.”
“C’mon then, lets hustle.”
Elly and I move at a frantic pace. She stews over what type of clothes I should pack as neither one of us knows what the weather is like in England, while I grab my things from the bathroom. She’s gotten the biggest suitcase either of us owns brought up from the basement and it lays wide open on my bed. I opt for my worn-in Converse for the long trip but throw in a pair of boots to start. Elly piles in jeans and every long-sleeved shirt I own to the mixture as I grab a few sweaters and sweatshirts. I snatch the most modest type of pajamas I can think of; a few T-shirts and the two pair of flannel PJ pants I own. I take a handful of socks and panties without looking and throw those on top. My small bag of bathroom essentials finishes it off.
“Is that everything?” Elly asks breathlessly.
“I think so,” I respond while staring into the messy bag.
“Toothbrush?”
“Check.” I tick off on my fingers.
“Deodorant?”
“Check.”
“
Socks and underwear?”
“On top.”
“You’ve got plenty of pants and shirts. You grabbed another pair of shoes. Will you need anything dressy to wear?” “
“I wouldn’t think so.”
“OH! Your passport!”
My eyes widen. I hadn’t even thought about legal documents in the sporadic chaos. Thank goodness for my mother. Always level headed and on the ball.
“Grab a purse from the closet so we can get that squared away. Let’s see, you’ll need your ID, you’ll take one of my credit cards-”
“Mom. No.” I interrupt quickly.
“Breckin, I can’t send you without any money. I’ll give you what cash I have, but it’s not much, so you’ll take the damn credit card.” Her look has told me there will be no arguing. She’s being unbelievably cool about the entire situation and I still can't believe that I’m actually getting to go. I was positive that I would get a flat no when I asked, and now she’s handing over one of her two credit cards.
“I won’t use it unless there’s an emergency,” I promise.
Instead of a purse, I take a small canvas bag that has been hanging on a peg. I think that’ll be easier to carry on the plane and through the airport. None of my purses have a strap long enough to sling over my shoulder.
“I’ll get the Dramamine from the medicine cabinet. We don’t need you getting sick on that long flight.”
I groan. She’s right, though. My stomach doesn’t like flying.
The doorbell rings then and Abigail, who has been watching us hurriedly moving about with sad eyes, gets up and trots toward the front door. My heart skips a beat in anticipation. I half-run to the door – I’m so excited to tell Liam I can go – and when I get there I can’t help smiling hugely as I reach for the knob. I yank open the door.
Then fall straight to my knees.
The pain this time, is so severe, that I instantly am unable to see. With immediate pitch black in front of me, I clutch my chest and start ripping at my shirt. Not only does it hurt beyond measure, but this time it feels as though a Mack truck has been laid to rest directly on my chest. I vaguely note warm, strong arms wrapping around me, but otherwise can’t think about anything else but the throbbing and agonized ache in my head and the sting and pressure taking place in my chest.
Hollow Sight Page 45
