She swallowed hard. ‘Because of me?’
‘Of course,’ he scorned. ‘You’ve made a complete shambles of the security system that I felt was inviolate,’ he said self-derisively. ‘But in future any weak link I find in the system will be eliminated—immediately.’
‘You’ve sacked two good men because I deliberately evaded them?’ she said incredulously.
‘It doesn’t matter that you did it deliberately, it shouldn’t have happened,’ he bit out.
‘You sacked them because of that? What sort of man are you, Pierce?’ Her temper rose. ‘You destroy people’s lives for no good reason—’
‘I had a reason,’ he stated flatly.
‘Your damned paranoia!’
‘Paranoid, am I?’ His voice was steely. ‘Let me tell you a little story, Danielle, and then perhaps you won’t judge me as being such a cold-hearted bastard!’
‘I didn’t—’
‘Just listen to me!’ he grated fiercely. ‘Sixteen years ago a young woman felt the same way that you do about security; she scorned it at every turn. But because she was married to a very rich man she was a target for any crazy idiot going. And no matter what you believe, there are thousands of them about!’
‘Pierce—’
‘Shut up and listen, damn you!’ Pierce was suddenly dark and frightening. ‘She found it great fun to give her bodyguard the slip, and did so at every opportunity, turning up hours later in a triumphant mood. Only one day she didn’t come back. Several hours later her husband received a ransom demand. The money was paid but she was never handed over.’
Danny was very pale now. ‘Pierce, please, I—’
‘I gave them the money, Danielle.’ He looked at her with tortured eyes. ‘And they disappeared without giving us a hint of where we could find Sally.’
She had known he was talking about Sally, feeling his pain now as if it were her own. And she had called him paranoid, had once accused him of having no idea of the real world! He had suffered more than she would ever know.
‘Two weeks later a teenage couple found her body in a deserted farmhouse in Wales,’ he related flatly. ‘The police believe she was dead before they even made the ransom demand.’
‘Oh God, Pierce, don’t go on,’ Danny pleaded, never having seen such anguish in her life before as she could see in Pierce’s eyes now as he relived the pain as if it were yesterday.
‘I had to go and identify her body,’ he continued as if Danny hadn’t spoken. ‘I hardly recognised her. She had been so beautiful, a black-haired gypsy, always laughing, completely full of fun. What I saw in the morgue was—’
‘Pierce, no!’ She ran to him, her arms about his waist as she hugged him tight, her face buried against his chest. ‘Don’t do this to yourself, darling. Please!’
‘When I got back today and found you had disappeared I envisaged finding you the same way!’
‘Oh God,’ she choked, her arms tightening. ‘I had no idea…’
‘Of course you didn’t.’ His voice hardened, his hands steady as he pushed her away from him. ‘You go through life doing exactly what you want.’ He spoke dully. ‘I have no right to try and stop that.’
‘Pierce…?’
‘I haven’t been involved with a woman in this way since Sally died,’ he told her flatly. ‘I don’t get involved, that way no one gets hurt. With you I’ve broken my own rules; it won’t happen again.’
She swallowed hard. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Our—association, will end once we return to England,’ he bit out, his eyes cold grey chips of ice. ‘You will go back to doing exactly what you want, and I—’
‘I won’t let you shut yourself in behind those walls again,’ she told him desperately.
‘The choice isn’t yours to make, Danielle,’ he dismissed harshly. ‘I was a fool to let you get even this close to me.’
‘But you can’t end things between us just because I didn’t understand…’
‘It isn’t a question of what you understand, I do not get involved.’
‘But—’
‘I no longer want you in my life, Danielle,’ he drawled. ‘So you won’t be allowed in it.’
He meant every word, she could see that. She hadn’t known, how could she possibly have known! But she knew as far as Pierce was concerned that was no excuse; he meant it when he said he didn’t get involved.
CHAPTER EIGHT
A PRISONER in her own bedroom, that was how she felt. And it wasn’t even a bedroom she was sharing with Pierce. He had moved the things he needed for the night to the adjoining bedroom, making his plans clear. Don Bridgeman was outside the door to the corridor, Jerry Adams stood sentry at the door into the lounge.
She understood a little of what Pierce had gone through now, although no one could know the full extent of his suffering. But she still loved him, and she couldn’t let him push her away just because he was frightened of being vulnerable a second time.
Her dinner had been sent in to her bedroom, and she knew Pierce intended keeping her here until they left for the airport tomorrow. She could hear Pierce in the adjoining bedroom and quickly took a shower before putting on a deep pink lacy nightgown she had brought with her, pulling on her black silky robe to hide the seductive diaphanous folds of the nightgown.
‘Mr Sutherland said you were to stay in your room,’ Jerry told her awkwardly as she stepped out into the lounge.
She gave him her most beguiling smile. ‘I’m on my way to his room,’ her husky voice gently mocked him.
‘Oh.’ He chewed indecisively on his inner lip. ‘He didn’t say anything about that.’
Obviously the instant dismissal of his colleagues had affected this man. ‘I can assure you, Mr Sutherland didn’t mean for you to keep me from his bedroom,’ she said suggestively.
‘I—Well, I—I’ll just check with him.’
She had hoped to surprise a reaction from Pierce, but she didn’t want to get anyone else into trouble, already guilty enough about Peter and Bob, although he knew by Pierce’s mood this evening that she wouldn’t change his mind about their dismissal the way he had Dave Benson. ‘Please do,’ she encouraged.
Jerry looked relieved that she hadn’t taken offence, and knocking on Pierce’s bedroom door, entered after being curtly told to do so. If Pierce humiliated her by saying no—
‘You’re to go straight in.’ Jerry looked pleased that he had managed to do the right thing.
Pierce was seated at the ornamented desk in front of the window, coldly glancing up at her. ‘Adams said you wanted to see me,’ he rasped.
‘Yes.’ God, he was so remote. She couldn’t believe she would be able to get through to this man.
‘Well?’ he prompted impatiently.
She untied her robe, holding the diamond pendant up in the palm of her hand. ‘I came to return these—’
‘I don’t want them!’
‘But—’ She broke off, having looked up to meet the burning intensity of his eyes. He wanted her, in spite of himself, he still wanted her, looking hungrily at her body covered by the silky material of her robe.
Suddenly he shook his head, his mouth tightening. ‘It isn’t going to work, Danielle!’
She grimaced, knowing he had broken the mood—deliberately so. ‘It isn’t?’
‘No!’ He stood up, ruggedly handsome in a grey shirt and black trousers. ‘I’m too damned old to be seduced by the sight of a female body!’
‘Oh.’
His mouth twisted. ‘Knowing your impetuous nature I don’t suppose you have a back-up plan?’
She grimaced at his derision. ‘This always works in films. After all, I do have a Raquel Welch figure!’
‘Better,’ he assured her tersely. ‘But I’ve decided I’m in the mood for someone who looks a little more like Twiggy!’
Danny looked at him with reproachful eyes. ‘That was cruel, Pierce. And unnecessary.’ She spoke steadily, unclasping the necklace and taking off the earrings, plac
ing them on the bed.
‘Just as that was unnecessary,’ Pierce ground out. ‘I told you, they were a gift. They’re yours.’
She gave a rueful grimace. ‘I don’t think I’d look right going to the local supermarket in them.’
‘You could wear them anywhere you chose to!’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t want them—’
‘Damn it, Danielle, I said they’re a gift!’
‘—because every time I looked at them I would remember your head against my breasts,’ she finished quietly.
‘God—!’ Pierce closed his eyes briefly. ‘Do you think I don’t remember that, too?’ he rasped, glaring at her. ‘Do you think I don’t want it, too?’
‘Then why—’
‘People get hurt when they love me, Danielle,’ he rasped.
‘You think I’ll hurt any less loving you and not being allowed to be with you?’
‘I will not risk another woman being harmed the way Sally was.’
‘You can’t stop me loving you, Pierce. I work on the estate, we’ll see each other every day—’
‘If you become too much of a nuisance I’ll get rid of you,’ he told her coldly. ‘And you know that I’m capable of doing it, too.’
Yes, she knew, she knew that his will was inflexible. ‘I love you, Pierce,’ she said softly.
‘I don’t want you.’
‘Liar!’ she said instantly.
His mouth tightened. ‘If you insist on staying in here tonight then I’ll be forced into going out—and I can’t guarantee I’ll come back alone.’
Danny shook her head. ‘You wouldn’t do that to me.’
‘I may not enjoy it, but I’d do it.’
She knew by the rigidity of his jaw that he would. He may have allowed her a brief insight into the softer side of his nature but it was definitely over. ‘They say there’s nothing worse,’ she mused in a pained voice. ‘Now I know how right they are.’
‘They?’ Pierce frowned his impatience with her cryptic comment. ‘Right about what?’
Tears glistened in her sherry-brown eyes. ‘There’s nothing so sad as trying to rake over the embers of an old love affair,’ she told him dully.
He sighed. ‘Twelve hours isn’t old.’
‘It seems like a lifetime,’ she choked.
‘Danielle—’
‘I’ll be ready to leave in the morning,’ she said sharply. ‘I’m sorry I bothered you.’
‘Danielle, for God’s sake; I’m only thinking of you!’
She gave a bitter laugh. ‘If you were thinking of me you would take me into your life and keep me there. You’re trying to save yourself any pain, Pierce, not me.’
‘After what I told you about Sally—’
‘I feel sorry for you, very sorry for you,’ she acknowledged tersely. ‘But she’s dead—’
‘The men who did that to her aren’t, though,’ he ground out savagely.
‘It’s ridiculous to think they would come after me!’
‘They won’t be able to hurt anyone again when I catch up with them!’
‘You’re still looking for them?’ Danny gasped. ‘After all this time?’
He nodded grimly. ‘I received information that one of them was in Washington.’
‘That’s the reason we’re here?’ she said disbelievingly.
‘Yes. But I found out this morning the information was incorrect.’
This was what Nigel had wanted him to give up, what had obsessed Pierce for sixteen years. She had to agree with Nigel, it was self-destructive. It also sounded impossible if Pierce hadn’t found the kidnappers after all these years of looking.
‘Pierce, you have to give up this idea.’
‘Not while they’re still walking around,’ he ground out determinedly.
‘But—’
‘Sally is dead,’ he told her savagely. ‘And I won’t rest until I have her murderers.’
‘But it’s been sixteen years—’
‘I don’t care if it takes the rest of my life,’ he rasped. ‘I have to find them.’
She could see that he did, that he wouldn’t find peace until he had. ‘I understand.’ She nodded dully. ‘I’ll go back to my room now.’
‘You don’t have to,’ he told her wearily.
Her eyes widened. ‘You want me to stay with you?’
‘Why not?’ He shrugged. ‘We’re already here together, one more night isn’t going to matter.’
It mattered to her! ‘I’m not one of your“conveniences", Pierce,’ she bit out resentfully. ‘I love you, but I won’t be used.’
‘Well, that’s all it would be for me tonight.’ He shrugged.
This time he wasn’t even trying to deliberately hurt her, his memories too vivid for him to really want her. ‘I’ll see you in the morning,’ she told him in a pained voice.
‘Yes.’ He nodded distantly. ‘And, Danielle… I am sorry.’
So was she, sorry she couldn’t have been the one to help him pass through the nightmare of the past, to show him that he could love again, had a right to live again, could find happiness with someone else. But he was so obsessed with avenging his wife’s death he wouldn’t allow love into his life again.
* * *
Life on the estate continued as usual, and even Danny continued as usual, but it was no longer the same for her here, she could no longer feel the same contentment.
She heard Pierce leave and return in the helicopter with sporadic regularity, wondering how many of the trips were do to with Sally’s death and not business. She saw nothing of the man himself, although she did try a couple of times to make her peace with him; she was always transferred to the estate manager.
Security around the house and grounds had been tightened, Don Bridgeman under sentence of instant dismissal if there were any more lapses like the ones Danny had caused. Maybe if she had known of Pierce’s reason for such tight security she would have tried to… No, she knew she wouldn’t have done anything differently. She couldn’t live in a self-imposed prison the way Pierce did, she only hoped that he would one day realise he couldn’t live that way any more, either.
She saw little of Cheryl and Nigel during the first few weeks of their marriage, understanding their need for privacy, finally inviting them down for dinner one evening shortly after they returned from a trip to America.
‘Have you been raiding that food store again?’ Cheryl teased as she ate the last delicious mouthful of the coffee g$aCteau they had had for dessert.
‘Ssh,’ Danny said playfully. ‘Nigel thinks I did all this myself.’
‘You mean you didn’t?’ Nigel said with feigned surprise.
‘You told him!’ Danny accused her sister.
‘All I did was tell him to have something ready for indigestion if you had decided to cook the meal yourself,’ Cheryl teased, more glowingly beautiful then ever.
‘You aren’t exactly the world’s best cook!’
‘Ah, but I no longer need to be,’ Cheryl mocked.
‘How did the move into your house go?’ Danny asked interestedly as they all sat down in the lounge to drink their coffee, the newly married couple having decided to move out of Nigel’s bachelor-flat and into a house of their own choosing. The fact that they had a live-in housekeeper and cook made Cheryl’s lack of cooking skills irrelevant.
‘It was a bit of a rush before we went away.’ Cheryl shrugged. ‘But it all looks wonderful.’
‘Someone asked about you while we were away,’ Nigel put in softly.
Danny frowned at him. ‘But I don’t know anyone in America.’
‘Paul Banyon?’
She frowned at the speculative look in Nigel’s eyes. ‘Well, I did meet him briefly…’
‘It may have been brief, but he assured me it was memorable,’ Nigel drawled. ‘Care to tell us about it?’
‘No!’
His mouth quirked. ‘I didn’t think so. He was very disappointed you weren’t there.’ ‘Where?’ She frow
ned.
‘His daughter’s wedding,’ Cheryl put in. ‘I’m sure I told you that’s the reason we were going to California.’
Danny was sure she had, too; she just hadn’t been very attentive lately. ‘Was it a nice wedding?’
His sister nodded. ‘Clarissa looked like an angel. I’ve never seen a dress like it!’
‘Darling, I’m sure your own dress is going to be spectacular,’ Nigel put in indulgently, ruining the remark by adding drily, ‘You’ve spent enough time at fittings for it!’
‘Complaining already about how much you spend at the dressmaker, Cheryl,’ Danny mocked. ‘That’s a bad sign.’
‘Stirrer!’ he muttered, turning to Cheryl. ‘I was complaining about the amount of time you spend away from me,’ he told her. ‘Not the cost.’
‘What a diplomat,’ Danny chuckled.
‘With a trouble-maker like you for a sister-in-law I have to be,’ he said indignantly.
Her amusement increased. ‘You shouldn’t leave yourself so open.’
‘Don’t worry, darling.’ Cheryl smiled at him. ‘I know Danny’s warped sense of humour too well.’
‘I’m still waiting to hear how well she knows Paul Banyon,’ Nigel taunted.
‘I don’t,’ she answered awkwardly. ‘I told you, I met him only once.’
‘In that case he asked me some very strange questions about you.’
‘What do you mean?’ She frowned.
‘He wanted to know if you still live at the bottom of Pierce’s garden.’
She kept her expression deliberately bland. ‘I don’t see anything strange about that,’ she dismissed. ‘He knows I’m the gardener here.’
‘He then asked if you still had the dogs with you.’ Nigel arched questioning brows. ‘But you don’t own a dog, do you, Danny?’
She blamed the colour in her cheeks on the heat of the room. After all, she never blushed, did she? ‘You know I don’t,’ she mumbled, knowing what Paul Banyon had really been asking by those questions was whether or not she was still with Pierce!
‘You could have come to California with us if you had wanted to see Paul again,’ Cheryl told her questioningly.
‘I hardly know the man.’ She shook her head. ‘And I have no idea what gave him the impression I would gate-crash his daughter’s wedding.’
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