Darkness into Light

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘He said he sent you an invitation.’ Nigel frowned. ‘But you declined to attend.’

  She hadn’t received any invitation. But she knew the reason she probably hadn’t. ‘The invitation was probably for Pierce and me.’ Her voice was deliberately light. ‘And he would have refused for both of us.’

  ‘Oh dear.’ Cheryl looked concerned. ‘We hadn’t thought of that. I’m so sorry, Danny—’

  ‘Whatever for?’ she chided dismissively. ‘I never expected my relationship with Pierce to last.’

  ‘But you loved him.’ Her sister frowned.

  ‘I still do,’ she corrected. ‘But he’s created a vacuum for himself I just can’t live in, and that he doesn’t want me to share with him either. I understand about his wife now because he told me. It sounded awful.’ She shuddered. ‘But you can’t go through life worrying if every person you meet is a possible threat to you.’

  ‘It’s the way he’s lived since it happened,’ Nigel put in softly.

  ‘I know that,’ she sighed. ‘But his obsession with finding the men that kidnapped Sally is totally senseless. If they haven’t been found by now then they never will be.’

  ‘Why do you say that?’ Nigel asked softly.

  ‘It’s been sixteen years,’ she dismissed. ‘Those men have probably retired to a little island somewhere with their money and will never be seen again.’

  ‘Unless they get greedy again,’ he suggested.

  ‘That isn’t very likely!’

  ‘Probably not,’ he agreed distantly.

  ‘Nigel—’

  ‘How about making us all some more coffee, darling?’ he firmly cut in on Cheryl. ‘After all, Danny has been slaving over a hot oven all day!’

  The subject of Pierce and his wife’s death had been dropped by the time Cheryl returned with the coffee, Danny and Nigel discussing the wedding next month.

  ‘Gary has agreed to come,’ Cheryl told her huskily. ‘And he’s bringing one of the nurses from the hospital.’

  Danny looked at her sister closely, seeing she was genuinely pleased that her ex-fiancé had decided to come to her wedding. The only trouble Danny could see concerned with the event was that she would have to see Pierce there, Nigel having asked his uncle to be his best man and been accepted. After Pierce’s refusal to see her the last few weeks she knew he wouldn’t be looking forward to having no choice about seeing her.

  * * *

  Who on earth could be banging on her cottage door this time of night? She blinked at the clock. It wasn’t night at all, but six o’clock in the morning! Had something happened, to her family, to Pierce…?

  She almost fell down the stairs in her haste, frowning up at Nigel as he stood on the doorstep, his appearance very rumpled, his clothes creased, his hair untidy. ‘Cheryl…?’

  ‘At home in bed by now, hopefully asleep now that she’s made me come here and talk to you.’

  ‘Come in.’ She stepped back, tying the belt of her robe as she followed him in to the lounge. ‘Can I get you some coffee?’ she offered, still feeling half asleep.

  ‘Maybe later,’ he dismissed. ‘It’s about Pierce.’

  ‘He’s been hurt?’ She paled. ‘Tell me!’

  ‘Calm down, Danny,’ he soothed. ‘As far as I know Pierce is at home asleep, too.’

  She sighed her relief, sitting in the chair with her legs bent up beneath her. ‘But something’s bothering you about Pierce?’ she prompted huskily.

  Nigel grimaced, pacing the room. ‘A guilty conscience.’ He nodded. ‘But I’d hoped—’

  ‘Yes?’

  He sighed. ‘I’d hoped that being with you would stop Pierce on his road of vengeance. In fact, when he took you to Washington with him I was sure you meant more to him than any woman has since Sally; he never takes women with him on business trips.’

  ‘It wasn’t exactly business as it turned out,’ she said quietly. ‘He was looking for Sally’s kidnappers.’

  ‘I was afraid of that last night, when you said he had told you about Sally,’ Nigel said heavily.

  ‘Yes?’ She sensed he had something very important to tell her.

  ‘I went to Germany last month,’ he revealed slowly.

  She remembered it—and the conclusion she and Pierce had come to about his subversive behaviour. ‘You found them, didn’t you?’ She looked at him intently.

  ‘I found—one of them. I think.’

  ‘You think?’ She stood up tensely.

  ‘I can’t be sure if it’s him.’ He grimaced. ‘I didn’t exactly speak to the man. But—there’s quite a possibility that he was one of them.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell Pierce about him?’

  ‘Because I want it to stop!’ he bit out forcefully. ‘Do you have any idea what it’s like to have watched him the last sixteen years, going round and round in circles, slowly destroying himself?’

  ‘He has a right to know, Nigel,’ she told him quietly. ‘Whatever you found out you have to tell him; he isn’t going to stop until he finds them.’

  ‘The man is in prison,’ he sighed. ‘That’s why I couldn’t get to talk to him.’

  Danny moistened her lips. ‘What did he do?’

  Nigel turned away. ‘Shot someone.’

  ‘Another woman?’

  He shook his head. ‘Something went wrong with the kidnapping plans, and he—he shot the woman’s husband.’

  ‘Wasn’t once enough?’ Danny groaned.

  Nigel shrugged. ‘Probably the money ran out. If you’ve done it once it must get easier.’

  ‘How long has he been in prison?’

  ‘About two years.’

  She frowned. ‘Then how did you find out about him?’

  ‘Sources.’ He pulled a face. ‘Pierce has built up a lot of them over the years. The man got careless, talked to someone else about another kidnapping he committed years ago. When the other man got out he talked.’

  ‘Then why wasn’t Pierce the one to be told about it?’

  ‘Because I was the one who got the report, not him. I thought it was just another of those false leads he’s been getting since it happened, and I decide to save him another disappointment.’

  ‘Only you weren’t disappointed,’ she realised heavily.

  ‘No,’ he acknowledged flatly. ‘The information seems pretty sound. But if it is the man Pierce won’t rest until he has him and his accomplices charged with Sally’s death. And something like that could drag on for more years.’

  ‘He’ll never give up, Nigel.’ She shook her head ruefully. ‘Not while he has breath in his body. So you might as well save him any more senseless searching. You aren’t doing him any favours by not telling him.’ She touched Nigel’s arm sympathetically.

  ‘I had a feeling you would say that.’ He pulled a face. ‘So did Cheryl. You do realise he’s likely to give me hell?’

  She nodded. ‘But explain to him why you did it,’ she encouraged softly. ‘Maybe he’ll understand that you only tried to save him any more heartache.’

  ‘He won’t,’ Nigel groaned. ‘Have the coffee ready, hm?’ he added heavily.

  She drank two cups of coffee herself as she waited for him to come back, having no doubts that he would be able to get in to see Pierce.

  She could understand why Nigel had acted as he had, would have been tempted to do the same thing herself in the circumstances. Although she knew Pierce wouldn’t thank them for it!

  It was almost an hour before Nigel got back, Danny was showered and dressed by that time, knowing she would sleep no more that morning. ‘Coffee?’ she asked in alarm as she saw how pale he was.

  ‘Thanks.’ He sipped the strong brew she had had waiting. ‘Phew!’ he finally sighed. ‘Now I know what they mean by“tearing a strip off you"!’ He grimaced. ‘I feel raw!’

  ‘Pierce was angry?’

  ‘I’m surprised you didn’t hear him over here!’ Nigel admitted gruffly. ‘Once I’d told him why I went to Germany he insisted I tell him every
thing. He is truly terrifying when he’s in a rage like that.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘He thinks it could be the man, too,’ Nigel sighed.

  She chewed on her bottom lip. ‘What’s he going to do about it?’

  Nigel looked up at her resignedly. ‘He’s going to Germany himself—right now.’ He frowned as the helicopter could be heard leaving the estate.

  CHAPTER NINE

  THE days of waiting for Pierce’s return were the worst Danny had ever known. And they were definitely the longest!

  Surely he had to give up now, wouldn’t try to have the man charged as Nigel thought he would? But remembering Pierce as she had last seen him he hadn’t given the impression of giving up until justice was served. Until he was satisfied with that justice!

  Perhaps Nigel had been right to try and keep the knowledge from Pierce, although she knew that it wasn’t a decision they could make for him.

  The evening of the fourth day she heard the return of the helicopter, knowing that didn’t necessarily mean that Pierce was back, too, but going up to the house anyway, knowing as soon as she saw Don Bridgeman that Pierce was back.

  ‘He said you were to go straight in.’ Don opened the door for her and stood aside. ‘He’s in his study.’

  ‘I know the way.’ She nodded, not altogether surprised that Pierce had guessed she would want to see him, but a little stunned that he was allowing her to do so after his earlier rejection of her visits.

  ‘Yes,’ Don acknowledged.

  She obeyed Pierce’s terse instruction to enter after she had knocked on the study door, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. If she thought the ravages of the last weeks were obvious on her she was shocked at how ill Pierce looked. His eyes had a bruised sunken look, his cheeks slightly hollow, very pale beneath his tan, and he had obviously lost weight. ‘Pierce…?’

  ‘I’m all right, Danielle,’ he dismissed her concern harshly.

  She wanted to go to him, to put her arms about him and let him cry out his pain. But she knew he didn’t want that, that he would instantly reject any sympathy from her. There was about him a vulnerability, an air of emotional fragility that would make him rebuff any act of human kindness. He was like an angry animal who chose to be alone to lick his wounds.

  ‘Was it him?’ she asked flatly.

  ‘No,’ Pierce rasped.

  ‘It—it wasn’t…?’

  ‘No. Do you want a drink?’

  ‘A small brandy—thank you,’ she requested, sitting down abruptly, sipping the fiery liquid, not even noticing when it burnt her throat. ‘Nigel was so sure…’ she said dazedly.

  Pierce swallowed most of his own drink down in one gulp, his expression bitter. ‘He could have saved himself the worry if he had just told me sooner,’ he rasped. ‘He had no right to keep any information from me.’

  ‘He loves you—’

  ‘He has a strange way of showing it!’ Pierce bit out angrily.

  ‘If you could see yourself now you wouldn’t think so.’ She shook her head sadly.

  ‘What do you mean? he demanded sharply.

  ‘Pierce, you look ill,’ she told him pleadingly.

  ‘So would you if you had met that animal and talked to him!’ He stared straight ahead, his eyes not focusing on anything in the room, dull with pain. ‘He killed a man, and yet he has no regret for what he did,’ Pierce said disbelievingly.

  ‘Tell me,’ she encouraged softly, knowing he needed to talk.

  ‘He has no conscience,’ he rasped harshly. ‘No feelings at all, that I could tell. He had carried out several other kidnappings, although not Sally’s, thank God.’ He was breathing heavily. ‘I think I would have torn him apart with my bare hands if he had been the one who did that to her. It’s the thought of the real culprit being an animal like that that’s tearing me apart!’ He groaned. ‘I know her kidnappers were ruthless, but—’

  ‘Pierce, sit down,’ she urged, holding out her hand for him to come and sit beside her on the leather sofa, her fingers curling tightly about his as he did so. ‘People like that have no emotions.’ She looked at his drawn face worriedly. ‘Darling, can’t you see you have to let go of this,’ she frowned. ‘You can’t keep searching for those men.’

  ‘Let go?’ His eyes blazed with emotion. ‘I can’t do that!’ he bit out. ‘It’s at times like this that I feel capable of murder myself,’ he added heavily.

  Her eyes were wide. ‘You—you wouldn’t ever do anything that silly?’

  ‘No,’ he derided harshly. ‘I wouldn’t put myself on the same level as them. But I will see that they pay for their crime.’

  ‘Haven’t you already given enough years of your life trying to do just that?’ she protested.

  ‘As you once pointed out, I’m still young,’ he told her flatly.

  She swallowed hard, knowing he meant to go on. ‘Sally wouldn’t want—’

  ‘How do you know what my wife would have wanted?’ He turned on her angrily. ‘I was married to her for over a year, I loved her, I think I’m in a better position to judge what she would have wanted than a young woman I shared a bed with for a brief time!’

  Danny swallowed down the gasp of pain his cruelty evoked, knowing he was deliberately hurting her again. ‘I’m sorry, Pierce.’ She stood up abruptly. ‘You’re right, I couldn’t possibly know what Sally would have wanted.’

  ‘God, what am I doing?’ he groaned, momentarily closing his eyes, a bright sheen added to their darkness when he lifted his lids. ‘Danielle, I’m sorry.’ He clasped both her hands. ‘Don’t go,’ he pleaded.

  ‘You need to be alone—’

  ‘God, that’s the last thing I need.’ He looked tormented by memories. ‘Stay with me tonight, Danielle. Take me into your generous warmth and show me that there is love in the world, that that brute wasn’t a true example of humanity!’

  She didn’t care that it was just human comfort he needed from her, it was enough for now. ‘Of course I’ll stay with you, Pierce,’ she assured him gently.

  ‘Thank God for that.’ He wrapped her in his arms, trembling slightly.

  ‘Have you eaten?’ She voiced her concern, wondering how often he had put himself through this same torture since Sally died.

  ‘I’m not hungry,’ he dismissed.

  She looked up at him. ‘Pierce, Sally died years ago, your not eating now isn’t going to change any of that.’

  He smiled bleakly. ‘You sound like a mother talking to her little boy.’

  She felt like his mother, wanted to protect him from any further pain. Wasn’t that what they said about loving a man, that you became part mother, part lover, and part wife? She knew the joy and pain of the first two, the third would never be hers.

  ‘When did you last eat?’ she persisted.

  ‘Yesterday, I think. Breakfast.’

  ‘Then you’re going to have dinner now,’ Danny decided firmly.

  ‘Yes, Danielle,’ he agreed with mock meekness.

  ‘And after dinner we’re going for a short walk to clear away the cobwebs, and then we’re going to bed.’

  He frowned darkly. ‘About going to bed…’

  ‘I’m not expecting anything of you except your warmth,’ she assured him softly, knowing that he was too full of memories tonight to think of any other woman but Sally. ‘I just want to hold you.’ She smiled gently.

  He looked much better after he had eaten and the two of them strolled outside afterwards.

  ‘How are you keeping yourself in shape nowadays?’ he gently teased.

  ‘I still jog.’ She had her hand in the crook of his arm. ‘I just use the country lanes now.’

  Pierce frowned. ‘Is that safe?’

  She shrugged. ‘There isn’t much traffic.’

  ‘I didn’t mean from that sort of danger,’ he rasped.

  ‘Pierce,’ she gently reprimanded, ‘the reason you threw me out of your life—’

  ‘I didn’t throw you out!’

&nb
sp; ‘—All right, asked me to leave—’ she amended drily, ‘was so that I wasn’t a worry to you. It’s my business if I choose to jog down country lanes.’

  ‘It’s irresponsible.’ He scowled. ‘You could get knocked over. Those lanes are hardly wide enough for cars, let alone a jogger, too!’

  They both knew that wasn’t the danger he feared. ‘The lanes are pretty deserted at eleven o’clock at night.’

  ‘Danielle…’

  ‘Pierce!’

  He drew in a ragged breath. ‘Let’s go back inside,’ he suggested tersely.

  She knew that the tense conversation had somehow changed things between them, that Pierce no longer wanted mere comforting but something else. And loving him as she did she couldn’t deny him.

  She turned straight into his arms when he joined her in the bed, their mouths fusing with desire and need, Danny’s need as strong as Pierce’s.

  It was a magical night, the outside world forgotten amidst murmurs of delight, caresses that burned, bodies that melted into one, parting, only to come together again once more.

  That closeness was broken as soon as Pierce told her the next morning that he was leaving.

  ‘I’m going up to London for a while.’ He touched her cheek gently as he lay in bed next to her.

  She didn’t ask why, knew that he needed to lose himself in work for a while. ‘When will you be back?’

  He shrugged. ‘I’m not sure.’

  She nodded, having already guessed that last night had changed nothing. ‘I’d better get dressed then—’

  ‘Danielle—’ He broke off awkwardly, sighing deeply. ‘You shouldn’t have stayed with me last night, not once you realised I’d changed my mind about making love to you.’

  ‘I love you.’

  ‘Still?’ He frowned.

  ‘Always.’

  Pain darkened his eyes. ‘I care for you too much to want to hurt you, Danielle.’

  ‘Then give up this madness,’ she pleaded intently.

  He moved away from her, both physically and mentally. ‘I can’t.’

  ‘Pierce, if it were me,’ she sat up on her knees, unconcerned with her nakedness, ‘I wouldn’t want you to keep punishing yourself like this. I’d want you to go on with your own life, accept that the past is over.’