‘You don’t understand,’ he said soothingly, pulling on his robe. ‘No one else understands.’
She wasn’t reaching him, she doubted she ever would. ‘I’d better go.’ She stood up.
He looked at her with dark eyes. ‘Be careful,’ he advised huskily.
She gave him a wan smile. ‘I will. Please—take care, yourself.’
His smile was harsh. ‘Don’t worry about me, I’m the eternal survivor.’
She couldn’t help worrying about him, about what he was doing to himself by this thirst for a revenge that was sixteen years old.
* * *
Cheryl and Nigel’s church wedding was touchingly lovely, every mother’s dream for a daughter, but although their vows were made with deep love for each other Danny felt sure their first wedding had meant just as much to them.
Danny watched Pierce during the ceremony, the first time she had seen him for three weeks. He looked more ill than ever, having lost even more weight, his face almost gaunt with strain.
‘Looks terrible, doesn’t he,’ drawled a derisive voice.
Her eyes were wide as she turned, the buffet reception now in full swing. ‘Paul Banyon!’ she greeted warmly. ‘I had no idea you would be here. Is Clarissa with you?’
‘No,’ he mocked. ‘Since she discovered the joys of sex she and her husband rarely leave the bedroom!’
She couldn’t help smiling. ‘I’m glad it worked out for them.’
‘And for Cheryl and Nigel too, by the look of them.’ He glanced at the happy couple as they circulated among their guests. ‘Only you and Pierce seem to be unhappy,’ he added questioningly.
She accepted a glass of champagne off the tray one of her young cousins was taking round, sipping at it uninterestedly. ‘We’re friends,’ she evaded.
‘That’s what I mean,’ Paul mocked. ‘Dare I hope that Pierce’s loss is my gain?’
‘Pierce hasn’t lost,’ she told him with simple honesty.
‘Pity,’ he drawled with regret. ‘He obviously isn’t appreciative of the fact.’
‘Could we talk about something else?’ she requested brittlely.
‘Sure thing,’ Paul agreed easily. ‘How about my devastating charm?’
‘Hm—how about it?’ she derided, liking this man more than ever at their second meeting.
‘Not working, hm?’ He grimaced.
‘Not particularly,’ she laughed softly.
‘Where are the dogs today?’
‘With their handler, I would think.’ She sobered. ‘Probably outside somewhere,’ she dismissed heavily, having been aware of the unobtrusive presence of Pierce’s bodyguards both at the church and here at the reception. But she had expected that, knew Pierce never went anywhere without them. ‘You have no bodyguards yourself?’ she asked Paul curiously.
‘I couldn’t stand the restriction.’ He grimaced. ‘But we all know what Pierce went through with his wife; it’s understandable it would have made him cautious.’
‘You know about—Sally?’
He nodded. ‘It was headlines at the time. The fact that she was found dead a couple of weeks later made smaller headlines, and eventually it was forgotten completely. Just another, tragedy of the rich,’ he said hardly.
‘Not to Pierce.’
‘She was his wife. Hell, if it had happened to my wife when we first got married I would have been pretty cut up about it, too. Probably after that as well; I may not be able to live with her but I wouldn’t want to see her dead!’
‘But—’
‘You can never change a man’s past, honey.’ Paul squeezed her arm. ‘You can only try to change the present. Now it seems to me that you and Pierce are just downright miserable apart.’
Pierce had said his search for Sally’s murderers was private, and it seemed that it was; no one outside of his immediate family seemed aware of his continuing search.
‘Pierce prefers not to have the responsibility of another person’s emotions in his life,’ she dismissed.
‘I wouldn’t have thought something like that would have bothered you,’ Paul derided.
Danny frowned up at him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘The woman who burst through those doors that night with the dogs at her side didn’t seem to me the sort that would give up. You were willing to fight for him then, why not now?’
Why not now?
Because Pierce didn’t want her to! But in that she believed Pierce to be wrong, knew that he had to be made to forget the past, or if he couldn’t forget it to at least accept it.
‘Thank you, Paul.’ She reached up and kissed him warmly. ‘I was confused for a while, believed I had to accept Pierce’s rejection. But I don’t, not while I know he still wants me. He can push me away all he wants in future, but I’m going to fight for him.’ Nothing had changed since the night she had been prepared to fight another woman for him, it was only her adversary that had changed.
‘You can start right now,’ Paul murmured. ‘He’s coming over.’
She turned to see Pierce fast approaching them, a grim tightness to his mouth.
‘Paul,’ he greeted the other man stiffly. ‘I hadn’t realised the two of you had kept in touch.’
‘Oh, Danny and I are the best of friends,’ Paul told him blandly.
‘I see,’ Pierce rasped.
‘I doubt it,’ Paul mocked with amusement. ‘I hope you’ll both excuse me while I go and congratulate the happy couple.’ He touched Danny’s cheek gently. ‘I’ll see you later.’
After he had gone Danny and Pierce stood side by side, neither of them speaking. Finally she could stand it no longer. ‘It was a lovely wedding, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes.’
‘You made a nice speech,’ she told him lightly.
‘Thank you. You look beautiful in that lilac gown.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Danielle.’ His gaze was suddenly intent. ‘I don’t think you should become involved with Paul.’
Her heart gave a leap, never dreaming that her method of fighting lay in a jealousy she hadn’t even guessed at. But Pierce was jealous of Paul, she could see it by the angry blaze in his eyes. ‘Why not?’ she asked softly.
‘The man is a flirt. He—’
‘Why should that bother you?’ She frowned.
‘It doesn’t bother me,’ he dismissed harshly. ‘I just don’t want to see you get hurt.’
‘Again, you mean?’
‘Danielle, I never meant to hurt you.’
‘But you did.’
‘I warned you not to love me.’
‘Can I help it if my heart didn’t listen?’
Pierce gave a heavy sigh. ‘I should never have become involved with you.’
‘No,’ she acknowledged lightly.
He gave her a sharp look. ‘You agree?’
‘Mm.’ She nodded.
Pierce looked suspicious now. ‘You accept that our becoming lovers was a mistake?’
‘I didn’t say that.’ She shook her head. ‘I don’t regret loving you.’
‘Danielle, I’ll never allow myself to love you in return,’ he grated.
She knew that was the problem. It wasn’t that he couldn’t love her, he just wouldn’t let himself.
‘Pierce.’ She touched his arm. ‘I understand all the problems involved in it, but today I decided I’m going to marry you. Maybe I’ll have to wait until we’re both old and grey, but one day you’ll realise that you just can’t do without me. I’m going to be living in that cottage at the bottom of your garden until you find you can’t stay away any longer.’
He swallowed hard. ‘I’ll never love you.’
‘Won’t you?’ She smiled gently.
‘No!’
‘Then it won’t bother you that Paul is staying at the cottage, with me tonight,’ she dismissed, knowing that if she asked him the other man would do just that.
Steely fingers clamped about her arm. ‘You wouldn’t do that,’ he grated.
‘Why not?’ She shrugged. ‘I’m going to marry you, Pierce, and I’ll wait a lifetime to do it, but I didn’t say I would wait alone.’
‘Danielle!’ He held on to her as she would have walked away from him.
‘Yes?’ She quirked light brows, wondering if these actions were worthy of the woman with the dogs. Then her actions had been completely honest; she couldn’t say the same about what she was doing now.
‘Damn you!’ Pierce released her, striding away, his back rigid.
CHAPTER TEN
SHE shouldn’t have challenged him in that way; he wasn’t ready for this yet. And if he didn’t come to the cottage tonight, allowed the night to pass believing she was spending it with Paul, then she knew there was no hope for them. It was too soon for him, damn it, too soon!
Standing in her darkened bedroom she could see the lights on around the pool, knew that Pierce must be gliding smoothly through the water. It was after eleven now; would he come to her or would he vent his anger by swimming until he dropped? She had gambled much too soon, and her impetuosity could be the end for her this time.
She wandered back downstairs, too restless to sleep, wishing she could find something to do to take her mind off Pierce. Mowing the lawn was certainly out of the question tonight!
She was on her third cup of coffee when she heard a noise outside followed by a loud thumping on her back door. Pierce had come!
‘All right, where is he?’ Pierce pushed past her into the cottage as soon as she opened the door, wearing brief black swimming trunks. His eyes narrowed on her as she stood before him in her bare feet—the cotton nightgown that covered her from neck to foot was hardly provocative.
‘Ssh,’ she urged softly. ‘You’ll wake—’
‘I’ll do more than wake him when I get hold of him,’ Pierce warned her savagely.
‘—my parents,’ she finished ruefully.
He frowned, looking disbelieving. ‘Your parents are staying with you?’
Danny nodded. ‘Upstairs in the spare bedroom.’ She frowned as she touched his bare arm. ‘Darling, you’re frozen!’ she realised. ‘Didn’t you dry yourself after your swim?’
‘The air dried me on the way over here,’ he replied uninterestedly. ‘I want—’
‘You’ll catch pneumonia,’ she scolded, leaving the room to get him a towel, almost walking into him as she turned to find he had followed her. ‘Here.’ She held out the towel to him.
‘Are you sharing a bed with Paul while your parents are here?’ he grated.
‘Yes and no.’ She took the towel off him and wrapped it about his shoulders as he made no effort to do anything with it, briskly rubbing his cold flesh.
‘Yes and no what?’ he demanded, impatiently pushing her hands away from him.
‘Yes, my parents are in the house, and no, I’m not sharing a bed with Paul.’
‘But you told me—’
‘Yes?’
‘You lied to me.’ He scowled.
She sighed, shaking her head. ‘I asked if it would bother you if Paul stayed at the cottage tonight; it obviously did, so he hasn’t.’
His eyes were narrowed. ‘Did you ever intend to go to bed with him?’
‘No,’ she answered truthfully. ‘Please don’t be angry. Pierce! I was only trying to show you that you do care about me.’
‘I know I should be angry with you,’ he groaned, his arms coming about her. ‘But I’m too relieved that it isn’t true about you and Paul to feel anything else. You’re right, Danielle, I do love you. And the thought of any other man touching you-fills me with murderous rage!’
And the possession in his voice filled her with delight! She melted against him, her arms about his neck. ‘The thought of any other woman touching you fills me with the same rage,’ she told him throatily.
‘There haven’t been any other women, not since the first night I made love to you,’ he assured her huskily, releasing the buttons down the front of her nightgown. ‘And I thought this was a little too modest for the seduction you seemed to have in mind tonight!’ he derided as he bared her breasts and the gentle slope of her stomach and hips.
She smiled a secret smile. ‘I wore it hoping you would come here tonight.’
He frowned down at her. ‘You knew I would?’
‘I had to hope, Pierce.’ She shrugged. ‘If you hadn’t…’
‘Then your plans would have gone all wrong,’ he finished mockingly. ‘Darling, I’m not angry.’ He smoothed the frown from her brow. ‘These last few weeks without you have been hell.’
‘Your weight loss…?’
‘How could I eat when I wanted to be with you?’ He sighed. ‘Someone had to bring me to my senses; I’m glad it was you. I’ve done a lot of thinking since we parted, about Sally’s death, the years since, the changes in me. I used to be like you, Danielle, resentful of any restrictions to my movements. I think that’s why I was never really angry with Sally when she managed to get away from it all.’
‘Pierce, I’ll have a bodyguard if it will make you happy,’ she hastily assured him, knowing that she would do anything to give him peace of mind now that she knew what he had gone through in the past. ‘If Princess Diana can get used to it so can I,’ she added ruefully.
‘I’m sure you would.’ He smiled at her attempt to lighten his tension about the subject. ‘But I know you would hate it. And while I can’t dispose of the security altogether,’ he added before she could say anything, ‘I’m willing to compromise—slightly—where you are concerned.’
‘In what way?’ She frowned.
‘How would you feel about an Alsatian pup, one of Ferdinand and Kilpatrick’s brothers about six litters further on? You have a way with the dogs, and Danton could train him for you.’ Pierce looked at her anxiously.
It was a big compromise on his part, and she eagerly accepted. ‘I’ll have to think of a suitable name for him. How about Attila, or Genghis?’
Pierce laughed softly, obviously relieved by her reaction. ‘I think I prefer Rover!’
‘No imagination,’ she chided.
His humour faded. ‘I hadn’t finished,’ he warned softly. ‘While you’re in the grounds the dog will be adequate protection, but if either of us goes further than that, a human guard goes with us.’
‘Just one?’
He sighed. ‘Just the one,’ he conceded. ‘My actions concerning security may have been extreme in recent years, but I don’t believe in stupidity.’
That she had achieved even this much, when she could have lost it all on a gamble, filled her with relief.
‘Sally’s death shook me up, badly,’ he admitted tensely. ‘And as the years passed I found it easier just having to worry about myself, didn’t want the responsibility of anyone else, I realise that now. But I wanted you from the first, knew I had to have you. It wasn’t until that night you came to the house expecting to have to keep me out of Clarissa’s arms that I even began to suspect I could be falling in love with you. And even when I did I couldn’t stay away from you. You were magnificent that night, like a goddess come to claim her lover; I just hadn’t realised how badly I wanted to be claimed. But I knew in Washington,’ he rasped bitterly.
‘Pierce—’
‘While you were missing that day it was worse than anything—anything—I’d gone through before.’ He looked at her with pained eyes. ‘The years since Sally died have been a self-punishment, denying myself love. But even with you out of my life I’ve worried about you, wanted to keep you safe. But my guilt about Sally held me back—’
‘Darling, you didn’t kill Sally just because you loved her, just as she didn’t die because she loved you. She was killed by something beyond your control…’
‘Because she was my wife!’
‘She could have been killed walking in front of a bus,’ Danny protested. ‘Hiding in a house during a storm isn’t going to help you if a tree falls on the house,’ she reasoned. ‘You can’t hide from the dangers of life, you can only r
espect them.’
‘Wise Danielle.’ He gently touched her lips. ‘Knowing instinctively what it’s taken me sixteen years to realise.’
‘What will you do about those men now?’
He sighed. ‘I’d like to say I’ll give up looking, but I know I’d be lying. But it won’t dominate my life—our lives.’
She appreciated his honesty, knew that he couldn’t give up his search completely. ‘That’s all I ask,’ she assured him softly.
‘And all I ask is that you marry me and go on loving me for the rest of our lives.’ He looked at her intently.
Not an impossible dream at all, but a possible reality!
* * *
Danny wasn’t even conscious of the mower in front of her as she walked up and down cutting the grass, all of her thoughts with Pierce and the two men he had with him in the lounge.
The two policemen had arrived before Pierce returned from his business meeting, and for half an hour she had sat and entertained the two stone-faced men, apprehensive about the reason they wanted to see the man who had been her husband for the last three years.
They had been married in the same church as Cheryl and Nigel only two months after them. The last three years had been good ones, happy years together, and at times she would swear Pierce had forgotten Sally’s tragic death for weeks at a time. But the appearance of those two policemen worried her.
She turned off the mower to walk across the garden, the faithful Nelson at her side. He had come to her at only a few months old, had been trained by Danton and herself to protect her, something he did without hesitation. He was also the family pet, and Danny knew Pierce loved him as much as she did.
She glanced back at the house. Today had been going to be a good day for them, but the news those two policemen brought boded ill for that. She had been aware of Pierce’s continuing search for Sally’s murderers, but it hadn’t intruded on their life together. Pierce was almost a different man from the coldly withdrawn one she had first met. Her mother and father adored him. Cheryl and Nigel’s two children, a boy of two called Nathan, and a little girl of one called Amy, thought their Uncle Pierce was tremendous fun, looking forward to their visits here. Their own happiness together had been beyond question, and…
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