by Lisa Suzanne
“Did they tell you the name yet?” I ask. They’ve kept it a secret ever since they decided months ago.
“Ashton Rose.”
“Ashton Rose Fox,” I say. “I love it.”
“She has these little pink cheeks and just the sweetest little wisps of dark hair.” I hear the pride in her voice.
“I can’t wait to meet her,” I say, and I really mean those words. I’ve never cared about babies before, but this one is part of my family. She’s my niece, and I can’t wait to get to Los Angeles so I can hold her, so I can see my brother in his new role as a father, so I can see Reese be the wonderful mother I already know she’ll be.
I mentally scroll my appointments for tomorrow and make a snap decision. “I’m in Miami right now, but I’ll redirect my flight and be there by tonight.”
“Oh, Brian, don’t do all that. It’s too much.”
“I want to be there for this,” I say. Maybe it’s part of the new Brian—putting family first. “I better go so I can get to the airport. Send me a picture and tell Mark and Reese congratulations, but don’t tell them I’m coming. It’ll be a surprise.”
“See you soon, honey,” she says. “I love you.”
“Love you too, Mom.” I hang up and pull open my Uber app to grab a ride to the Ritz so I can get my overnight bag.
“The baby’s here?” Viv says beside me.
“Yeah. I’m going to Los Angeles instead of back to Vegas. You want to come with me?” The invitation slips out, but I immediately realize what a great idea it is. We could both just take the rest of the week off. She can show me her home not far from LA. I can introduce her to my niece.
Jesus.
My parents will be there.
Am I really considering introducing a woman I’m not even dating to my parents? Am I really considering taking the rest of the week off?
Yep. I am.
She clears her throat. “I should really get back to the office,” she says.
“Of course,” I say as I mask my disappointment. “Let’s share a ride to the Ritz.”
We ride in silence back to the hotel, and soon we’re standing in the lobby looking awkwardly at the closed elevator doors as we wait for a car to take us up to our floor.
“Congratulations, Uncle Brian,” she says softly.
I press my lips together. “Thanks.”
She clears her throat. “When will you be back?”
“I’m just popping over for the night to meet the baby and see my family. I’ll be back tomorrow, probably late morning.” The elevator doors open and we both step on. I press our floor number, and it’s not until the car glides to a halt that she says something.
“Are you still planning to attend the charity thing tomorrow night?”
“You agreed to be my date,” I say softly. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
She glances up at me with something akin to wonder in her eyes, and then we step off the elevator.
I wish she’d just come with me to Los Angeles. I don’t want to part ways with her right now, not when things are so awkward between us and not when I’m sure she overheard my private conversation last night. But I also have no idea how to convince her to come with me, and so I don’t.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say, breaking the silence stretching between us once we get to our rooms.
She looks over at me for a minute, and something intense passes between the two of us. “Travel safe,” she says. She disappears through her door, and I stare blankly at it for a second once it closes before I head to my own room to get my shit and get out of this town.
* * *
Before my flight takes off, I text my brother’s best friend and the drummer of Vail, Ethan, to let him know I’ll be there in a few hours. He tells me he’ll arrange a ride to get me to the hospital, so at least that’s taken care of. I head to the airport gift shop while I wait for my flight and find a stuffed dolphin and a little pink frilly baby outfit that says Miami on it. I purchase both so I don’t arrive empty handed, and it feels weird to be buying things for a baby. It’s just not something I’ve ever done before.
I spend most of the nearly six-hour flight to LA thinking about Vivian, and by the time we land, I’ve made zero progress and no decisions.
Her comment on the elevator confused me. She simply asked me whether we were still attending the ball together, but the way she asked it made me think she wanted to go with me. It seemed like such a fight to get her to agree to go with me, yet she’s the one who brought it up.
I’m sure I’m overthinking it. She may have just wanted to know whether our plans were still on so she could make plans of her own if they weren’t.
This shit right here is why I haven’t had any interest in getting involved with a woman for the past few years. I hate the guessing games and the wondering.
I have a text waiting for me from Ethan with my ride details, and I easily find the driver. Soon we’re on the LA freeway headed toward Cedars Sinai and my brand-new niece. I text my mom on the way, and she meets me in the hospital lobby. We wind through a series of hallways toward the deluxe maternity suites, and my mom goes in first.
“Someone’s here to meet Ashton,” she says softly.
When I peek my head around the doorway, the first thing I see is my brother and sister-in-law sitting on the bed. Reese stares at the cradled pink bundle in her arms, and Mark’s tattooed arms are laced around his wife.
It really hits me for the first time they’re a family now. My brother has his own family, and while it’s a part of our larger family, it’s something that’s just his. He made that with his love for the woman cradling his child, and for a second, an unfamiliar lump forms in my throat.
This scene almost didn’t happen because of me, and all the ghosts from our past catch up to haunt me at the same time.
“Hey,” Mark says softly so as not to disturb the baby as a grin spreads across his mouth. He waves me in. “Come meet my little girl.”
I step into the room and walk toward them, but my mom stops me. “Wash your hands first,” she whisper-yells at me.
“I just want to look. I’m not even going to touch her yet,” I say.
“Don’t even think about getting near her with dirty hands.” My mom’s hands are on her hips and she means business.
I roll my eyes in my brother’s direction, and he just shrugs pointedly, as if to say I better just do what she says. I wash my hands in the little sink across the room from the bed then step over toward my brother. He gently takes the baby from Reese’s cradle and stands to show her off.
“This is Ashton,” he says.
I stare at her. I’ve never seen a baby less than a day old, and I’m sure Mark hasn’t, either. Yet he’s holding her like he has, like he’s held millions of babies...like he was born to do this, and I don’t believe I possess that same gene. Mom was right—she’s beautiful. She has a tiny nose and little pink cheeks. Her eyes are closed and her mouth almost forms a smirk, something I’m used to seeing on her dad’s face, like she’s going to be a little smartass just like him. People always say babies look like their mom or their dad and I never see it. I don’t see it here, either, but I do see a perfect little angel, and the feeling that I want this rolls over me like a wave.
“She’s perfect,” I say.
“Isn’t she?” Mark asks. He glances at his wife, and my eyes follow his. Reese is leaning back on the pillow, eyes closed, as if she’s completely exhausted and completely content—which she probably is right in this moment.
“You want to hold her?” Mark asks.
I shake my head nervously. “No—I...I mean, I...”
Mark grins. “Don’t be scared. I’ll help you.”
He hands her gently over to me. “Keep your hand there to support her head,” he says softly, and I follow directions. I’m standing at an odd angle, and my mom snaps a picture followed by a sniffle, and I’m pretty sure she’s crying.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt softly as I sta
re at her.
“For what?” Mark asks.
“For everything I did. For everything I’ve ever done.” I shake my head as I start to drown in the ancient memories.
“It’s behind us, man,” Mark says. He pats my back bro-style but more gently so as not to rustle the baby awake, and another lump forms in my throat. “Over and done.”
And just like that, I believe him. A small weight of guilt I didn’t even realize I’d been lugging around with me lifts from my shoulders. I thought I could do whatever I wanted and never have to feel the burn of guilt, never have to pay any consequences because I pushed all the bad things out of my mind and held onto the belief that I didn’t have a conscience.
But I do, and it takes holding my brother’s baby to realize it.
I hurt people by my actions, but the very people I hurt forgave me. These people around me are so much better than I deserve, and it takes this moment for me to see I need to start living my life differently.
As I stare down at the sweet girl in my arms, I feel a need and a craving I’ve never experienced before. It’s strong and it’s powerful, and as I close my eyes for a beat, I see the image of a woman cradling a child and a man with his arms around her.
Only in my vision, the man and woman aren’t Mark and Reese.
It’s me and Viv.
I swallow down that damn lump in my throat that just got a little thicker as I lift the baby closer to me. She smells like fresh laundry as I breathe her in, and I press a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I’m your Uncle Brian, and I will always look out for you. You’re not allowed to date until you’re thirty. I’ll kick any boy’s ass that even looks at you.”
Mark laughs just as my mom says, “Language!” somewhere behind me.
“She’s perfect, man,” I say to my brother. I hand her back over to him, and he gently pulls her from my arms.
He stares down at his newborn daughter, all the anxiety of impending fatherhood melted away now that she’s here. There’ll be a new set of anxieties every day, I’m sure, but for this moment, both he and Reese are beyond blissful. “I know.”
chapter thirty-six
My brother and I didn’t talk a single word of business in the short time I was in Los Angeles. Instead, I ate dinner with my parents and held my niece one more time last night and again this morning.
Both my mom and my brother asked me if everything was okay. Both accused me of being quieter than normal. I have a feeling Mark sensed what was wrong after the confession I made on a balcony over the phone, but he was a little preoccupied with a newborn, so it never came up.
My flight lands a little after nine in the morning, and I’m exhausted from traveling across the country over the past two days. I don’t have time to stop home, though. Instead, I head right for the office from the airport, and the exhaustion dissipates as I think about what awaits me there.
Vivian Davenport.
I’m excited to see her after my revelations in a hospital room yesterday, but I’m a little anxious, too. We left things in a strange place, but I finally decided tonight’s going to be the night I say the words to her face rather than into the darkness as she listens quietly from the balcony next door.
As I get to Lauren’s desk, she gives me a nervous glance.
“Good morning,” I say, narrowing my eyes at her as I wait for her to spill whatever it is she doesn’t want to tell me.
“Good morning,” she says. “I processed the paperwork on the Porter deal and it’s all set.” I nod. Always start with the good news. She has been listening all this time. And then comes the bomb. “You’ve got a surprise waiting for you in the conference room.”
“What sort of surprise?” I ask.
She clears her throat. “A German one. They just arrived about fifteen minutes ago.”
“Who is they?” I ask.
“Stefan and Hans.”
I nod and blow out a breath after she names the two top executives from the company we work with in Germany. I really should’ve been the one to break the news to Schneider Technologies that we were going to start pulling clients as contracts renew to shift the work to FDB, and I was going to. I just had to get to Los Angeles and then work sort of slipped away from my mind as other things started to take hold.
Other more important things.
Things like family and love and children. Things I never gave much thought to before, but things I want as part of my future.
My job is great, and it’s important, but it doesn’t have to be the only thing that defines me. Yet that’s exactly who I am right now.
And now I’m ready to rewrite my own definition.
When I get to my office, Viv’s already there. She’s tapping away at her laptop, but she stops and glances up at me when I walk in.
“How’s the baby?” she asks.
I can’t help the smile that tips my lips. “Perfect.”
“I’ve been doing some research on benefits and have three new plans I need you to review. They could save you thousands of dollars every year.”
I toss my keys on my desk and fish my laptop out of the bag. I turn it on then plug it in while I wait a few seconds for it to come up. “Forward them to me and I’ll take a look this afternoon. Right now I’ve got to get to the conference room.”
“For what?”
“Didn’t Lauren tell you?” I ask.
She furrows her brow and shakes her head.
“Of course not. Why would she? She thinks you’re my girlfriend using space in my office.”
Viv lets out a little nervous giggle. “What’s going on in the conference room?”
My laptop is on, so I sit down and pull open a few files. I print them and then turn toward Vivian. “Some of the executives from Schneider Technologies stopped by. They’re probably impatiently tapping their feet as they wait for an explanation.”
“You don’t owe them squat,” she says.
“Squat?” I repeat, my lips forming a smile.
She laughs. “I just mean they didn’t need to come all this way to confront you.”
I lift a shoulder then collect my papers from the printer. I shuffle them together and stick them in my professional leather portfolio. “I get why they did, though. If clients started pulling from FDB, I’d want to know why.”
“I’d like to hear what they have to say,” Vivian says.
I nod because if I had my say, she’d come in with me. That idea strikes me as really odd. There’s just one problem. “Jason will need to come in with me since he’s worked closely with Germany in the past couple months. He may find it strange if you’re in there with me.”
“Oh,” she says. She nods. “Of course.”
“I promise to fill you in when I get back.” I dial Jason’s office line.
“Hey, Fox,” he answers.
“We’ve got Hans and Stefan from Germany in the conference room,” I say. “And the ink is probably still wet on the Porter contract.”
“You didn’t call them right after you had Porter sign?”
“No, I didn’t. I’ve had a lot going on.” It’s a flimsy excuse.
He lets out an audible sigh. “Where were you last night?”
“Los Angeles.”
“Los Angeles?” he repeats. “What for?”
“Reese had the baby.”
“Oh.” He doesn’t say anything else, and I’m certain it’s because of the history there. He knows less about what my true intentions had been with Reese when I dated her than Becker does, and I get the sense he feels bad for me that my brother ended up with the girl I “dated.”
“How is she?” he finally asks.
“Reese?” I ask. “Or the baby?”
“I meant the baby, but both.”
“Both are doing well. The baby is perfect. Ten cute fingers and ten chubby toes.”
He chuckles. “All right. I’ll meet you in the conference room in two minutes.” He hangs up, and I get the feeling he wants all that, too. Maybe even with Tess,
though honestly I don’t see her as the motherly type.
“Chubby toes?” Viv asks when I hang up. I’m surprised she admitted to listening in on my conversation.
I smile wistfully then pick up my portfolio filled with papers. “The cutest, chubbiest little things I’ve ever seen,” I say, and then I head over to the conference room.
* * *
Two hours later, Jason, Becker, and I are toasting in Jason’s office, our tumblers filled with the expensive bourbon Jason keeps stashed in here.
“To new beginnings,” Jason says, and I take his words to heart.
This is a new beginning for all of us, and as we celebrate what happened literally five minutes earlier, I think for a second about telling my best friends the truth—the truth about the company’s bottom line, about Vivian, about Tess.
I think about it, but I’m not ready to do it just yet.
So instead I smile and toast and play the part I’ve always played, the guy always willing to have a good time, to talk about FDB, and to mix business with pleasure.
“So Germany just caved?” Becker asks.
I nod. “They even said they’d sell us their equipment at a fair price.” I raise my brows. “I couldn’t believe it. I thought for sure they were here to confront us about pulling our clients, but instead they were here to offer us the first shot at purchasing their analytics division.”
“Can we afford it?” Jason asks, his eyes edging over to me. After the hiring freeze Viv mentioned, I understand his concerns.
But surely this isn’t something Mark would deny us. The chance to get everything we need to bring third-party work in-house is at our fingertips, and we stand to make a ton of money in the long run out of this deal. The possibilities are endless—we’ll probably even need to open a brand new division of FDB, and I know just the person I want to head it up.
I just have no idea if she’ll agree to it.
“Yeah,” I finally answer Jason. “We’re fine.” I hold up my glass in a toast. “We’re better than fine.” It’s not precisely true, and it’s another fib, but I’ll figure out a way to make it work. My brother and I had a breakthrough last night, and I really think he’ll be open to lending me the money to buy out Germany. If not, maybe a bank loan will work this time. After the way Viv got our finances back in order, I can’t think of a reason why a bank would deny us if Mark does.
