I felt guilt, too, that Breanne had come to my defense in the past. I felt more than guilt, actually, and wished for perhaps the thousandth time that I'd recognized her when Trajan first brought her to SouthStar. Those things she'd done for me—and my parents—would come about in her future, but I still held hope that she wouldn't be so upset with me that she'd withhold the help she'd given.
That didn't even touch on the fact that she could have helped Kay immediately—if I'd only allowed Trajan to keep her here. So many things had gone awry and I had little reason or explanation for it, other than blaming my own fucking temper.
"Dude?" Sali appeared at my side and watched as my father planted another seedling.
"Sal?" I turned to him.
"How's everything up at the big house?"
"Some things better, some things the same," I shrugged.
"Nothing new with Kay?"
"Not yet, but we may be able to fix that soon. Actually, Breanne may be able to fix that soon. When she gets her strength back."
"I'd like to meet her."
"Come up to the house for dinner. Graegar said she'd be awake by then."
* * *
Breanne’s Journal
I woke next to Bill, who was sitting up and reading on a comp-vid, his feet, covered in socks, stretched out on the bed beside me.
"Feel better?" he asked, setting the comp-vid aside.
"Road kill probably feels better than I do," I wrinkled my nose at him, so he’d know I was teasing.
"At least you look better than road kill," he grinned.
"Reading a book?" I asked.
"Nah. Just keeping up on reports of criminal activity across the Alliances; nothing for you to worry about," he leaned over and kissed me, his mouth lingering on mine for a few seconds before pulling away.
"You can take the man away from the department, but you can’t take the department away from the man?" I teased. "Wanting to get back in the thick of it?" I asked, more seriously.
"Bree, Ashe is keeping my body young. SouthStar has that effect on everybody who comes here. If I leave, that goes away and I start aging again, unless I'm with Ashe and he's shielding me."
He was right—Bill looked to be in his early thirties, when he was actually much older. "There’s a way to change that," I pointed out.
"I don’t want to be vampire," he said.
"That’s not the only way," I huffed. "The Saa Thalarr do it all the time. Whoever gets their blood gains immortality."
"Is that how it works?"
"Yeah. Adam Chessman gave me blood, which not only healed me, but gave me the ability to walk in daylight and eat normal food. It’s the way that race was created."
"Why did he have to heal you?"
"Well, uh, let’s say that my first few weeks as vampire weren’t the best," I hedged.
"You walked into the sun?" Bill stared at me in shock. "You attempted suicide?"
"Bill, I thought everybody knew about that. I see that’s not the case."
"I knew," Kevis walked into my suite without knocking.
"I think a sharing of information might be in order," Bill growled.
"Bill, I think I know better now," I slapped a hand over my eyes.
"You think so? What was that stunt then, at that stupid church? Tell me that wasn’t suicide. And for what?"
I should have known that I’d hurt him—and the others too, by doing what I did. Yes, he’d suffered afterward, when he had no idea whether I’d survived.
"I’m sorry, honey. It was stupid, but I didn’t know what else to do."
"Bree, I don’t want to yell at you, but, actually, I do want to yell. I don’t want to upset you, but I want to yell at somebody or something. I watched you for nine fucking days, with my heart squeezing in my chest because I didn’t know if you were still in there." He tapped the top of my head with a finger. "I don’t even want to talk about the time I spent on Earth when I thought you were dead."
"Bill." I took his face in my hands. "I’m sorry for putting you through that. If I could make any part of that easier for you, I would."
"I know, sweetheart. I just," He shook his head, as if that might dispel his anger.
"I’ll do what I can, as soon as I get my strength back," I ran fingers through his short, dark-brown hair.
"What will you do?" he asked.
"What I’ll do for Kay, only on a lesser scale. I don’t think you need as much as she does."
"As much what?"
"Love," I said. "I love you, Bill Jennings, no matter what you might think, or how mad you might get."
"Thank goodness for that," he pulled me into a tight hug.
"Are we better now?" Kevis said brightly. I’d forgotten he was there while Bill and I had our small meltdown. There was nothing like having a shared breakdown in front of a psychiatrist, I suppose.
"We’re better now," Bill mumbled into my hair. He didn’t want to let me go, it seemed, as his arms remained tightly wound around me.
"Good. Less for me to sort out later," Kevis grinned.
"What are you not sorting out?" Trajan walked in, followed by Ashe and another werewolf—Salidar DeLuca. Lowering my shields, I read Sali. He'd once been best friends with Ashe, but things had separated them somewhat.
Ashe was what he was, after all, and Sali had no idea how to deal with much of that. He felt inferior and had spent years studying and learning how to fight in a constant effort to improve himself. It was an attempt to level the playing field and close the distance between himself and Ashe. They remained friends, but might never be as close as they once were.
"A bit of anger from understandable stress and a temporary loss of control," Kevis said. "Nothing world-shattering."
"Bill, I blasted piles of brush to bits," Trajan said. "Worked out some kinks, that way."
"Next time you go, take me with you," Bill sighed. "I tried to take it out on my girl."
"Bill, stop." I leaned away and placed a hand over his mouth. "Let’s face it, if Hank were here, he’d have done a whole lot worse."
"We would have to clear smoke for days," Trajan agreed solemnly.
I sagged against Bill. Whether I liked it or not, I had to get back to Earth in the past to do what I could, and that, by default, meant catching up with Hank again. I wasn’t looking forward to that.
"What’s this about?" Bill noticed the difference immediately.
"Hank’s gonna yell," I muttered. Jayson would be right behind him, and likely so would Bill and Trajan—their past selves, anyway.
"It upsets you when that happens, doesn’t it? It terrifies you, in fact. Doesn’t it?" Kevis the shrink was back.
"I don’t want to talk about it." I huddled against Bill again.
"We messed up the last time," Bill whispered.
"How bad was the beating this time?" Kevis asked.
"Kevis, I died. I stood outside my body and knew it was dead. That’s how bad it was. Are you gonna talk about my PTSD now?" I turned my eyes on him and blinked.
"Bree, I can’t talk about your PTSD. Only you can do that." Kevis sat on the edge of my bed and studied me. Was there concern in his eyes? Yes. Overwhelming concern. I didn’t know what to do with that. "It might help if you did talk about it," he added.
"I’m not comfortable with that." I buried my face against Bill’s shoulder.
"I know," Kevis soothed. "Maybe someday you’ll feel comfortable enough with me to tell me those things. This isn’t a job to me, Breanne. Dad and I—we both care about you. We want you happy. If it takes one of these guys to be with you, to hold you while you let this go by talking about it, then so be it. I’ll go with whatever works."
"Kevis, that may be a long time in coming," I mumbled.
"Take your time—there’s no hurry," he patted my shoulder and stood to stretch. "I believe Ashe has something to say before we go to dinner."
I turned my head and watched as Kevis walked out of my suite. Ashe took Kevis’ place on the side of my bed. "Loo
k," he began, "this feels as awkward to me as it will to you," he continued. "But Traje pointed it out to me earlier, and it may be worth a try."
"What?" I asked.
"Well, I’m Strength, so, maybe it would do you some good to get my blood. All I’d ask in return, if the experiment is successful, is for you to help Kay."
"You want me to bite you?" I stared in disbelief. "You know what happens when," I didn’t finish.
"I’ve been advised," Ashe replied dryly. "I’m willing to overlook, well, that’s not coming out right."
"You’re saying it won’t mean anything." What was I supposed to do? Once, I might have been a willing participant, so I could give him pleasure. He wanted nothing of the kind from me. I was merely a means to an end for him, and we were right back where we’d been before—when he’d yelled at Trajan to get me out of the house.
Kay, on the other hand, desperately needed my help. She needed to be in charge, instead of Kalia’s fears. I released a weary sigh. "I’ll do it," I said. "For Kay."
"That’s all I ask." Ashe rose. "Thank you." He walked out without another word.
"When?" I turned to Trajan.
"He says tomorrow morning, after you’ve rested again. Then we’ll see how much good it did."
"Yeah." At that moment, I wanted to mist away. Lick my wounds. Wallow in misery for a while. I didn’t have the strength to do it, and therein lay the problem.
* * *
"I said everything wrong." Ashe flopped onto the chair behind his desk.
"That seems to be a regular occurrence," Kevis pointed out. He’d waited in the hall outside Breanne’s bedroom while Ashe spoke with her. He’d then followed Ashe to his office. "Why do you think Breanne might see this as anything other than a snub, or an effort to use her to get what you want? You may as well have told her she doesn’t mean a damn thing to you and get it over with."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Ashe frowned at Kevis. "You appear to have more of your father in you than I originally thought," he added.
"You’re not seeing what I’m seeing," Kevis tossed up a hand. "Every time she looks at you, there is fear in her eyes that you’ll hurt her. Tell me, Mighty Hand, who can hurt you the worst? Is it the person you don’t care about, or the one you do?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Ashe exploded. "I worry about Kay. That’s all I’ve focused on for months!"
"I know that," Kevis held up a hand. "But you keep beating up Breanne over it, when she likely saw you as something different in the beginning—before you opened your Mighty mouth."
"You’re saying she was attracted to me?" Ashe couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
"It’s likely, and you shredded her. Then, all she kept hearing was that you wanted her back here—to help you. Not the most ideal situation, huh?"
"I suppose not. This complicates everything, doesn't it?" Ashe raked fingers through his hair in frustration.
"Yes, but it was complicated from the beginning."
"True. I don't know how to fix this, Kevis. Or even where to start trying."
"Start by keeping your mouth shut and being respectful. Dad and I have discussed this, and let's face it—so far, the Mighty Heart has done all the heavy lifting. Hasn't she?"
"Yeah. I see your point."
* * *
Lissa's Journal
"Amara, I never expected to see you here," I began awkwardly. She'd come to my palace—with Edan Desh. I'd invited her into my study the moment I could—they'd shown up for the morning's session with the Council and sat in the public seating area. I was more than grateful there were no executions or sentencing going on.
"Lissa, my feelings toward you have never changed," she said, taking the seat I offered. Edan took the one next to her and sat quietly by her side.
"I'm grateful," I nodded to her.
"I heard something from Kyler," Amara added.
"That Griffin was saved by," I didn't finish.
"Yes. That's what I heard. How is she?"
"Better. Very weak."
"Understandable."
"Yes." I nodded—Amara was a healer, after all.
"Is there a chance I might meet her, sometime?"
"I'll ask," I offered. I had no idea how Breanne might respond, however.
"I don't hate him—your father," Amara sighed. "But."
"Yes," I nodded. "But. Are you happy?" I glanced toward Edan.
"Yes. We have so much in common," Amara smiled at Edan. "Even at the end of the day, when we're both tired, we still talk about work and things we'd like to do."
I understood that perfectly. So many times, I discussed the day's business with whoever ended up in bed with me—before or after sex. It was nice to bounce ideas around—along with bouncing the bed.
"Do you want me to take a message to her?" I asked, meaning Breanne.
"Yes. Tell her that her stepmother will be happy to see her anytime."
"I will," I nodded.
Chapter 4
"Our General was not beaten—merely surprised," Acrimus hissed at Calhoun. "We are still awaiting news whether he killed one of the Mighty. It certainly seemed that way before he and I left."
"I sincerely hope she was killed," Calhoun breathed. "Any idea which one she might have been?"
"Not completely, although I have a guess. I'll wait for more information before I reveal my suspicions, however."
"At least we know who she is and what she looks like," Calhoun chuckled. "There's no way for her to hide from us now."
"You are so short-sighted," Acrimus grimaced and shook his head.
* * *
Breanne's Journal
The pool really was warm. I was content, allowing Fes to hold me up while four lion snake shapeshifters swam around us—as snakes. Bill thought it was funny—watching Kooper, all twenty feet of him, followed by Chazi, Bekzi and Perzi, who were smaller in length—perhaps thirteen or fourteen feet long. Kooper didn't seem to mind that he had an adoring public swimming in his wake. I wasn't sure what to think, either—that he was the snake who'd been in my bed on several occasions.
That's how he'd gotten information from me—on criminal activity. I'd innocently spilled it to my snaky bed companion, and Kooper wasted no time cashing in on valid information. Briefly, I wondered where you'd have to kick to boot a snake's ass.
Trevor and Trajan were content to lie on lounges alongside the pool, closing their eyes and resting in the shade provided by exotic trees.
"Want to try swimming with me?" Fes breathed against my ear.
"I can barely walk through the water," I leaned back to peer into his eyes.
"Then let's walk. I won't let you drown," he grinned.
"Good," I smiled at him. He leaned in for a kiss before pushing me toward the opposite side of the pool. At least the water buoyed me up while I struggled against liquid resistance.
Eventually I had an audience—I was determined to make my way across the pool and back—more than once. I made three trips before almost sinking below the water. Bill and Fes caught me before my nose hit the surface.
"Better," Trajan said from the side. He'd perked up halfway through my exercises. Trevor, too, had sat up to watch.
"We might even let you have fruit with dinner," Kevis folded in from somewhere and stood at the edge of the pool, his fists on his hips.
"Tease," I mumbled as Bill and Fes lifted my arms so Trevor and Trajan could pull me from the pool.
"Not teasing," Kevis grinned, Pulling a cup of tea into his hands. "Sissy," he added.
"What?" I blinked as I was lowered to the tiled patio, almost beside Kevis. I wasn't expecting an insult from Doctor Kevis Halivar, after all.
"Graegar is my half-brother," Kevin chuckled.
I wanted to slap a hand to my forehead. I didn't—mostly because it would take energy I didn't have at the moment. No wonder Kevis knew so much about Larentii lineage. His mother was mated to Renegar, and they were Graegar's parents.
"Gr
aegar has the hots for you," Kevis went on. "So does Barrigar."
"Oh, for crying out loud," I muttered. "What does Conner say?"
"Conner is more than happy. She's known for a while that they'd have another mate, she just didn't know who it was. You're like a celebrity in that household, now."
"That's not embarrassing or anything," I sighed. "Can I sit down, now?" Trajan and Trevor bore most of my weight as it was, and they were just about to get all of it—I was too tired to stand any longer.
"What does your mother say? And Renegar?"
"Bree, stop worrying about that. Dad says he wants to invite you for dinner as soon as you can sit up without assistance," Kevis grinned. "Mom and Ren are more than happy, trust me."
"So everybody knows except me, is that it?"
"Hey, I think they love you already. They just want to see you. Talk to you," Kevis' voice softened. "Nobody wants to scare you or take advantage. This is the Saa Thalarr and the Larentii we're talking about."
"Yeah." Trajan lifted me into his arms, preventing me from hunching my shoulders. There was at least one Larentii who owed me an apology. He wasn't on the guest list.
* * *
Earth—past
"I hate the desert." Jayson flopped onto a sofa inside the spacious adobe home Bill had managed to acquire in Albuquerque. It would serve as their base of operations while they searched for Vernon Clark. His last verified location had been in Valencia, a small town south of Albuquerque.
"Why?" Opal checked the clip on her gun before slipping it into her waistband.
"Dad used to take us to Palm Springs on vacation, so he could play golf in a celebrity tournament with Ross Gideon. I hate golf."
"So you hate golf and the desert?" Opal lifted a dark eyebrow at Jayson. "And the fact that your dad forced you to go to the same place every year?"
"Sounds whiny, doesn't it?" Jayson turned hazel eyes on Opal. "Even when I was old enough to stay home with Mom and Jamie, because they didn't want to go either, he made us go. To this day, Jamie won't come within miles of Palm Springs."
"So your dad was a little controlling?"
"Yeah. Don't say it," Jayson held up a hand. "I'm well aware of why I like to be in charge."
Blood Love (God Wars Book 4) Page 5
