“Afraid of what I’m in store for. You’re an experienced man of the world. I’m sure you could handle a casual affair with a certain detachment. I can’t. I’m a small town girl who hasn’t had much experience with men. I don’t think I want to get my heart broken.”
He gazed at her with beautiful, luminous black eyes that could search to the very core of her being. “Do you think I’m out to break your heart?”
“Oh, not deliberately. It would just be the fallout from an explosion between us. Explosions can be exciting, but they don’t last very long.”
“Is that what you think it would be like?”
“Yes. You see, I know about Marie Algretto.”
There was a moment of silence. Kirk rose from the couch and poured himself a drink. With his back to her, he asked, “Has my brother, Jimmy, been talking to you?”
“Jimmy told me about your love affair with Miss Algretto. I’m sure he wasn’t divulging any family secrets. Every celebrity gossip column in Europe and America has carried the story.”
Kirk turned to look at her, shadows of anger in his eyes. “But brother Jimmy felt it was his duty to personally warn you.”
Lilly’s eyes flashed back at him. “I’m glad he did. It might have saved me from a broken heart, too!”
Sullenly, Kirk said, “You make me sound like a third-rate villain in a melodrama. I’m not out to break your heart!”
“But you were in love with Miss Algretto.”
He took a swallow of his drink. “Yes.”
“And the affair ended tragically for you.”
Kirk shrugged, not replying.
“And,” she concluded, “you haven’t gotten over her.”
“I don’t see that it’s any concern of yours,” he said, his eyes turning to cold steel.
“It is when it involves my going to bed with you! If I’m going to have a relationship with a man I’d like to think it means more than my being a band-aid for his broken heart!”
“That sounds very noble,” he said, the anger continuing to flare in his eyes. “Are you sure your schoolgirl crush on brother Jimmy isn’t really what stands between us?”
Now her anger matched his. Coldly, she replied, “Perhaps it is. And so I think you’d better take me home, Kirk.”
CHAPTER SIX
Lilly resumed her place in Jimmy’s band the following night with a feeling of apprehension. She suspected that Kirk Remington was not a man easily thwarted. Would he be so angry with her he’d have Jimmy fire her from the band? Or, would he somehow take out his jealousy on Jimmy and the band?
Having a woman say no to him was probably a new and infuriating experience for a man so accustomed to taking life on his own terms. And he was furious at his brother. Jimmy had two things that Kirk wanted and couldn’t buy with all his money—musical talent and Lilly’s love.
Or had she judged Kirk too harshly? Was his air of supreme self-confidence a coverup for an element of insecurity? She remembered his almost boyish eagerness for her approval of his sound system.
The first night she was nervous and jumpy. But if Kirk planned some kind of black revenge, he did not act on it.
She was both relieved and uneasy. Perhaps he hadn’t given up on her. If so, he wouldn’t try to get Jimmy to fire her. He would want to keep her in the band and in town so he could try again.
She braced herself each time she glanced out at the club’s patrons, fully expecting to meet the dark-eyed gaze of Kirk Remington. But the evening wore on and he did not put in an appearance. Nor did he show up at the club the following night or the night after that.
She found the courage to ask Jimmy about Kirk. “Haven’t seen your brother around the club this week,” she said casually.
Jimmy looked surprised. “Didn’t he tell you? He’s out of town on one of his business trips. Somewhere in the Mideast on a big oil deal. When he left he told me he didn’t know when he’d be back.”
He gave her a look of scrutiny, judging her reaction. She felt a flurry of confusion, hoping Jimmy didn’t see the emotions that raced through her. Kirk’s leaving so abruptly, with no word to her about it, seemed a clear enough signal that he considered his interest in her to be over. That was what her good sense told her she wanted. But another part of her heart had a sinking sensation of disappointment. She had never met a man like Kirk. He had affected her in an entirely different way from Jimmy. But there had been no escaping the powerful attraction she had for him. Perhaps it had only been a physical, biological response, but she had come alive at his touch.
Continuing to see Kirk would have been asking for a broken heart. So part of her felt relief. But it was a bittersweet feeling with a certain amount of regret.
In the cold light of dawn, Kirk had probably decided that a nobody like Lilly Parker was not worth losing any sleep over. A man like him could have his pick of women all over the world. And that was no doubt what he was doing right now—squiring around a sophisticated European fashion model or a lovely countess. He had probably already forgotten he ever knew a naive little pianist by the name of Lilly Parker.
Lilly brushed aside a tear and threw herself into her music. Nothing more was said about Kirk. He had absented himself from New Orleans and had apparently cut off all contact with the band. Jimmy appeared happy that he had total control of the band and the club.
One night when they finished playing, he walked Lilly to her hotel room. “I see you took my advice about Kirk,” he said.
She shot a glance at him. “What makes you so sure I did?”
“The way he took off without telling you anything about it makes it pretty clear, doesn’t it? If there was anything going on between you two, he wouldn’t have left town without telling you all about it. In fact, he’d probably have taken you with him.”
Lilly shrugged. “Maybe he did and I just didn’t want to go,” she teased.
Jimmy grinned. “Nope. I know better.”
Lilly sighed. “Well, you’re right. He is still carrying a torch for the opera singer. It was written all over him. I guess I just happened to be handy when he needed someone to hold his hand. I would just have been letting myself in for a lot of grief.”
They had reached her doorway. For a moment there was silence between them. Lilly reached up and brushed back the lock of rebellious hair that persisted in tumbling over Jimmy’s forehead. Her eyes met his.
He gave her a contemplative look. “I’d ask if I could come in with you tonight, but I know how you feel about that sort of thing.”
She searched his eyes. “How do you feel about it, Jimmy?” she asked softly.
“Well, I don’t think I’m ready to get that involved,” he said.
“I know.” She sighed. “I just don’t have much luck with my men, do I?”
He slipped his arms around her waist lightly. “It’s not that you don’t turn me on, kid. I’d like nothing better than a tumble in the hay with you—”
“But that’s all it would be, wouldn’t it? A tumble in the hay?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I don’t want to find out. If that’s all it turned out to be, you’d get hurt, and you’re too sweet a kid for that. I guess I still have something of a big-brother protective feeling about you. On the other hand, if it turned out to be more, things would get all complicated and sticky. I’m not ready for that, either.”
She smiled sadly. “Well, if you change your mind— Remember that wonderful line Lauren Bacall gave Bogey in the movie? Something like, ‘If you decide you want me, just whistle?’ You do know how to whistle, don’t you?”
“Yeah. Just pucker and blow. I saw the movie, too.”
“But this isn’t a movie, is it, Jimmy?”
She tiptoed and kissed him lightly, then turned the key and went into her room. She tossed her purse on the bed and walked to her balcony door. She opened it and leaned against the doorway, gazing at the scene below. After a bit, she saw Jimmy walking away from the hotel, a corner street lamp briefly touching his tousl
ed blond hair. His broad-shouldered form dissolved into the early morning mist.
She raised her vision to the rooftops of the ancient buildings, seeing Jackson Square in the distance, and beyond that the river. She sighed. “One of the world’s most romantic cities, and I’m alone again.”
* * * * * * *
A month passed. Then one night Jimmy made an announcement to the band: “Pack your duds. I had a long-distance phone call from my brother just before I came to the job tonight. He’s booked a two-week engagement for us in Las Vegas. We’re taking the early flight out of here Sunday morning.”
The band was galvanized. They were on the way to the big things Kirk had been promising them! As for Lilly, she felt her heart give a hop and a thud. Would she see Kirk in Las Vegas? How would she react? What would he say to her?
But Jimmy’s older brother didn’t meet the band when they arrived in Nevada. They went straight to the hotel where reservations had been made for them.
Their engagement was at a cabaret on Las Vegas’ famous “Strip.” It was a place that catered to a jazz-loving crowd. Lilly wrote a number of new arrangements for the event.
The band had never played better. The musicians had become welded into a single, driving force with a common mind. They anticipated one another’s ideas, inspiring one another. Lilly found herself on a musical “high.” Each evening was more thrilling than the one before.
Jimmy looked handsome and dashing, fronting the band. He charmed the audience with his personality. When he raised his golden trumpet to his lips he filled the night with music that tore at Lilly’s heart. Then she glanced from the stage and met the gaze of Kirk Remington.
She felt a jolt run through her body. The tingling of an electric shock raced from her toes to her fingertips, leaving her weak. She stumbled over a chord, bringing a surprised frown from Jimmy. Red faced, she formed the word “Sorry,” with her lips as she desperately tried to regain her concentration.
She played miserably the remainder of the evening. She had wondered how she would react if she saw Kirk Remington again. Now she knew. Her emotions were in disarray. A vital force sprang alive in her, coursing through her veins.
When the band left the stage, Kirk met her. Without a word, he took her arm. His touch made her nerves quiver. She saw Jimmy watching them with sullen disapproval.
Then they were out on the street. It was three A.M. A million flashing lights had turned the desert night into day. The names of superstars sprang out from a dozen glittering marquees. Traffic swirled and honked on the busy thoroughfare.
Remington guided her across the street to one of the Strip’s great hotels. They walked through the gambling casino in the lobby to a cocktail lounge. Lilly sank into a plush chair in the secluded corner Kirk had chosen for them. A waitress brought two drinks.
“Jimmy said you’ve been in the Mideast,” she said nervously.
“Yes. I just got back. Did you miss me?”
The full power of his penetrating gaze was turned on her.
She shuddered and concentrated her attention on the drink in her hand. She made an attempt to change the subject. “How does the band sound to you?”
“Very good.”
“We’re all thrilled at getting to play here. Jimmy and everyone in the band is grateful that you were able to arrange this engagement. It’s giving us a lot of new exposure and publicity—”
“You’re wasting your time with Jimmy’s band,” Kirk said shortly. “Remember what I told you? You could go a lot farther on your own, and I could help you if you’d let me. It wouldn’t take much to have your name as a headliner on one of those big marquees outside.”
“I—I don’t know if I want to be a superstar, assuming that were possible. I’m happy playing in Jimmy’s band.”
She felt his searching gaze measure her. “Are you?” he murmured, a dark flush staining his cheeks, “or do you like being near Jimmy that much?”
An angry retort sprang to her lips. But before she could utter it, he said, “You never did answer my question: Did you miss me?”
She raised her eyes to his, remembering with a rush of warmth the electrifying response to his caresses. “Was I supposed to miss you? When you left without even telling me you were going, I got the message that our last good-bye was final.”
“I did leave in something of a huff,” he admitted. “But since then I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. How has it been for you, Lilly?”
She refused to reply verbally, but her heart silently answered for her. Had absence made the heart grow fonder? Or was she finally being honest with her true feelings?
There were two men in her life. She knew how she felt about Jimmy. Or, at least she thought she did. Jimmy had been her first love, her teen-age idol. But she was no longer a teen-ager. She was a woman now. Was it the woman who had responded to Kirk with so much passion while the child in her still clung to her high school crush on Jimmy, not wanting to give up the dream?
How did she truly feel about Kirk? Perhaps she had known all along, but lacked the courage to face it. All it took was seeing him again to make her heart see the truth. She was in love with Kirk. And it was no high school girl’s infatuation.
She could face the truth about her feelings now and not feel disloyal to Jimmy. It was possible, she knew, to have different feelings about different people. It was even possible to love differently.
Understanding her own feelings was one thing. Deciphering a complex man like Kirk Remington was another. He had made it clear enough that he wanted her. But he had never told her he loved her. Was it because of the shadow of the beautiful woman who still possessed his heart?
“Did you have a chance to see Marie Algretto while you were abroad?” she asked impulsively, surprised at her own boldness.
Again the dark flush spread over his cheeks. He shot her a black-eyed glare. “I told you once not to bring up my personal life.”
“You seem to have no hesitation about bringing up my relationship with your brother.”
“That’s another matter. My relationship with Miss Algretto doesn’t concern you.”
Lilly flushed. “I think it concerns me very much. The fact that you avoid a direct answer every time I bring up the subject tells me that it’s still a very painful subject for you.”
He sighed, “Lilly, let’s not sit here and quarrel. I brought you over here to tell you that I missed you and that I’m glad to see you again.”
The sincerity in his words and expression softened the anger she had felt a moment before.
Kirk reached over and took her hand in his. He was looking at her directly, his gaze holding hers. “Friends?” he asked softly.
Her heart melted. “Yes,” she murmured, her weakness for him responding against her will.
He squeezed her hand and sat back. “That’s better.”
Lilly toyed with her drink. “Will you be in Las Vegas for a while?”
His eyes clouded. “I’m afraid not, Lilly. I just flew down here for a few hours to see how Jimmy and the band were getting along and to see you. I have to catch a plane out of here in a few hours for New York. But I’ll be back in New Orleans when Jimmy finishes this engagement here and returns to Bourbon Street. I want to know if I can see you again when that time comes.”
Lilly nodded slowly, wondering if she was letting herself in for the heartbreak she had been trying to avoid. But she no longer had the will to say no to him.
* * * * * * *
But the following night she had second thoughts about ever going out with Kirk Remington again. Jimmy said, “I see you and my big brother are on friendly terms again.”
“Yes,” Lilly admitted.
“I guess you know why he didn’t stick around here very long.”
“Yes. He told me. He had to fly to New York on business.”
“Oh? Did he also remember to mention that Marie Algretto is in New York this week singing at the Metropolitan?”
Lilly felt the blo
od drain from her cheeks.
“Wise up, Lilly,” Jimmy said. “Kirk wants you for a playmate. But for the rest of his life, any time that redheaded opera singer crooks her little finger, brother Kirk is going to drop whatever he’s doing and go running to her side....”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Lilly resolved to have nothing more to do with Kirk Remington. Jimmy was right; Kirk only wanted her for a temporary playmate. His heart belonged to Marie Algretto. If the time came that she wanted him back, he’d discard any other woman he was involved with in an instant.
Lilly’s realization that she loved Kirk changed nothing except to make her more vulnerable. So, she concluded, there was only one course she could take. That was to refuse to go out with him ever again.
She stuck to that resolve when the band returned to New Orleans. She offered no explanation. She didn’t want to let Kirk work his persuasive ways on her. It would be too tempting to give in to him. She simply refused to go out with him. Kirk appeared baffled, then angry. But after several futile attempts, he left her strictly alone.
That might have forever ended her involvement with him. But fate intervened in the form of a violent falling out between Jimmy and Kirk. Lilly heard the bitter argument between the two brothers through the closed door of the Sho-Time Bar’s office one night when the band finished playing.
The next night Jimmy came to work wearing a strained, angry expression. He called the group into the club’s small office. “Bad news, fellows and Lilly. We’re losing our steady gig at this joint.”
There was a moment of stunned silence.
“I don’t dig this, man,” Cemetery Wilson exclaimed. “I thought you had half interest in the joint.”
“Not exactly. Kirk has the lease. I fronted the band for him and oversaw the managing of the club. But the lease belongs to him. The lease is up and he’s refusing to renew it. He’s closing the operation down.”
Skinny Lang had a coughing seizure. When he recovered he said, “Hey, I don’t get it. Isn’t the club making money?”
“I guess not,” Jimmy shrugged. “Kirk doesn’t think so. He blames it on the way I’ve been running things when he’s out of town.”
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