****
After taking Alex to the airport, I ran a few errands with the last being the grocery store. I was at my wits end by this point. Liv and Jordyn have been fighting over the littlest things and telling on each other. I couldn’t wait to feed them dinner and put them to bed. I was standing in the frozen section considering an oven pizza for dinner with a death grip on Jordyn’s hand so she wouldn’t take off again.
“Mommy, can we please have pizza and not casserole? You always make casserole. Oh. Oh, look there's Miss Kimmie!” I heard Liv call out from behind me.
Just fucking great.
I slowly turned around to see Kimmie looking gorgeous as ever. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head in a sloppy bun, and she was wearing a casual but cool gray tank dress. Her toned and tatted arm held a hand basket that carried several items including a carton of chocolate ice cream and a package of double-stuffed Oreo cookies. I instantly thought about how unfair it was for her to have such an awesome body and still be able to eat ice cream and cookies.
“Oh, hello Olivia.” She walked hesitantly towards us as she darted her eyes around, presumably in search of Alex.
“Hi, Miss Kimmie!” Jordyn called out.
Kimmie smiled down at Jordyn and waved. “Hi, cutie pie.” She replied. When her eyes met mine, some of the warmth left her face.
“How are you, Kimmie?” I asked trying to make the best of an awkward situation.
“I’m doing good and you?” She answered with the same curt politeness.
“Fine. Things are fine.”
“Mommy and Daddy got married again so you can’t be Daddy’s girlfriend anymore. Sorry.” It was Jordyn who offered that information and heartfelt apology.
The news didn’t seem to take Kimmie by surprise. “I heard. Congratulations. I’m glad things worked out for the two of you.” Her smile didn’t reach her eyes as they shifted to my ring finger.
“Thanks.” I replied awkwardly and resisted the urge to tuck my hand behind my back. Not that I was ashamed, but I didn’t want to rub it in her face. As much shit as I talked about her, I didn’t hate her and honestly, I wasn’t even mad at her. She was always nice to me. She treated my daughters well. When things ended with her and Alex she didn’t take things to a Lifetime movie level and go all crazy woman scorned. While she was flawless and beautiful on the outside, I noticed a deep sadness for the first time behind her bright blue eyes. The kind of sadness that comes from heartbreak. Something I knew a lot about. As odd as it sounded, I really hoped that she would find happiness, just not with my man.
Liv and Jordyn had their faces pressed to the door of the ice cream case, arguing over which they should try to convince me to buy.
“Look, Courtney. I know this is very awkward.” She shifted the basket from one arm to the other as she spoke. “I just wanted to say that Alex never shared with me what happened between the two of you, but I knew it hurt him pretty badly.” I started to speak up because I really didn’t want to talk about Alex with her, but she raised her voice to let me know that she meant to have her say.
“But I also knew that he still loved you, and honestly I wasn't surprised when he ended things with us. He wasn’t into me the way I wanted him to be, and deep down I knew it. I had hoped that eventually… well, it doesn’t matter anymore what I hoped. I do know what it’s like to have everything you could ever want and lose it.” Her eyes traveled off to the side for a moment, and I knew in my gut that she wasn’t referring to Alex as her “everything”. “I am truly happy for the both of you.”
“Kimmie, I appreciate that. I guess we just needed time.” I stepped backward to my cart. “I’d better get down there.” I indicated to Liv and Jordyn still in debate over chocolate chip ice cream or fudgesicles.
“Yeah, time.” She sighed. “Take care, Courtney.” She called over her shoulder as she left the frozen food section.
“Take care.” I replied to her retreating back as she moved with the grace of a super model to the end of the aisle. I also witnessed a group of guys nearly knock each other over to get a second look at her as she passed by them.
“Alright, girls, grab the ice cream and the Popsicles and let’s get out of here.”
“It’s fudgicle, Mommy.” I shrugged at Jordyn and nodded to the case for her to just get the freaking things; I really didn't care what they were called. The girls were lucky to be getting both. I also had an ulterior motive. I felt a stress induced junk food binge coming on.
The entire time, I debated on telling Alex about seeing Kimmie today. How would it benefit us to bring her up? How would it hurt us to keep it a secret? What if the kids said something first? How would he react? Would he care? While driving back to the house, I decided to play it by ear and work it in, if there is a place for it.
Maybe.
Chapter SevenAlex
Shit! I looked over at the bedside clock and saw that it was 1:15 am. My plane landed just after 8:00 pm and my cell battery died. I regretted using it to listen to music the whole flight. I didn't even realize how low my battery was until it was too late. I had planned to call Courtney as soon as I checked into the hotel and got a decent charge started on my phone. I looked down at myself to see that I was still fully dressed with my feet planted on the floor over the side of the bed. I must have flopped back while I was waiting and dozed off.
I was fucking up already.
The old Alex would have waited since it was so late and tried to call in the morning. The new Alex picked up his phone and immediately called his wife and hoped like hell she wasn't too mad.
"Hello?" Court's voice sounded groggy as she spoke.
"Hey, I'm sorry it's late and that I am just now calling. I landed, my phone died, I fell asleep while it was charging. Shit, baby, I'm sorry." My words were rushing out before I could control them. I really wanted to show her that things would be different and the very first day I go and screw it up.
"Alex, it’s okay, honey. I'm glad that you still called. That's all I've ever wanted."
"Yeah, but it's late now, and I know you have to get up early."
"I don't care. You can always wake me up. Don't worry, you did good. I'll give you a B minus."
I chuckled. "A B minus. I didn't know I was being graded."
"Yes. If you hadn't called. It would have been an automatic F."
"I don't want to fail so I'll work on improving my average this week. Is there any extra credit I can earn to make up for today?"
"It can be arranged." She replied in a sleepy, sultry voice that made my cock twitch. God, this was going to be a long week. It's only been twelve hours, and I miss her already. I told her so, and we spent the next half hour talking about the weird misadventures of my flight delays and odd seat companions. I'd forgotten how funny she was and how she could make me laugh so hard. After we had ended the call, I undress, got under the covers and set my alarm for 6:00am. When I fell asleep this time, I was smiling because I had the biggest crush on my wife.
****
Early the next morning, with a takeaway coffee in one hand and my laptop bag on my shoulder I shuffled in the convention center where Pure Valley Aqua was holding their annual bullshit conference. The Company Owner and Chief Executive Paul Deal lived in Houston, so he expected everyone to come to him every year even though the corporate office, where I worked, is in Florida. It was basically a week’s worth of crap that we already knew, combined with the latest directives to improve the company’s bottom line but cause more work for us. Oh, and of course a bunch of innovative shit that sounds awesome but probably won't ever pan out.
I found a seat at the conference table and was setting up my laptop when I saw someone pull the unoccupied chair back next to me and sit down.
"Alexander?" A familiar voice purred next me. My stomach sank as I turned and frowned.
"Erica." I replied with a nod. I hated that she still insisted on calling me by my full name, something that she has done since eighth grade.
&nbs
p; Yes, that is the Erica. My ex-girlfriend, Erica.
About three years ago, Erica contacted me out of the blue. She'd recently gotten out of rehab. The rumor among our friends was that she had gotten hooked on prescription drugs. I knew that she smoked pot, and messed around with mushrooms and shit like that back when we were dating. At the time, it didn't seem like she had a problem. But, I was young and pretty stupid when it came to a lot of things back then. After we broke up, and I got serious with Courtney, Erica disappeared. No one had seen her for a while but heard that she hooked up with a group of surfers and was traveling to beaches all over the place. I was very cool with that. She was no longer my problem, and it felt fantastic.
Then I get a message from her asking for my help. She needed to have a job lined up and someone to vouch for her as an upstanding citizen by order of her probation officer. She explained that she had been arrested for petty theft and drug possession. She and a group of surfer chicks were caught trying to steal a couple of $500.00 bathing suits. They were all high and out of their minds on some weird combination of hallucinogens and prescription drugs. The cops found these drugs in their possession, and they were arrested. This apparently wasn't her first time in trouble with the law, so that judge put her on probation and forced her to go to rehab. This is when she claimed to see the error of her ways and wanted to remove herself from all of the bad influences in her life. In order for the probation officer to allow her to move she needed to have a job lined up and someone to vouch for her. As much as I wanted to tell her no, I couldn't. I managed to secure her a position in the PVA dispatch department. I didn't expect her to last very long. To my surprise she was able to get dispatch very organized and within a year she was heading up that department. Now she's in charge of all distribution center dispatch and reports to me.
The kicker to all this is that I never told my wife about it.
At first because like I said, I didn't expect Erica to last very long. Now, so much time has gone by that Court would be mad that I kept it from her and for as long as I did. The old Alex would never have said anything and if caught would have tried to make Courtney feel like she was over reacting. The new Alex realized that it was a problem. A big problem.
"I thought I saw you getting into a taxi this morning at the hotel. Why didn't you wait for me?" Erica continued.
"I wanted to get here early." My laptop decided to pick now to do an update so I couldn't even pretend like I was doing work in order to ignore her.
"So, do you want to grab dinner tonight at that restaurant we like?" Erica asked sounding very hopeful. I winced at the reminder of another thing I was keeping from my wife. Every time I've traveled to Houston over the last three years, Erica has been with me. We've had dinner with Stiller and his wife. Ashley and Erica have even become friends. Erica found out that Courtney didn't know anything about her working with me last year when Stiller posted pictures on his Facebook and was tagging us all in them. I knew that Erica was in some of those pictures, and I made Stiller take them down in the middle of posting. Why was I posing in pictures with my ex-girlfriend and hiding the fact that I pretty much see her every day? Because I'm a fucking idiot, that's why.
"Um, I don't think so but thanks anyway." My eyes sent silent signals for my computer to finish updating so I could be less available to talk.
"Alexander, are you trying to avoid me?" She turned her seat in my direction and leaned back in her chair while she folded her arms to stare at me. I used to think she was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen. She had the softest chocolate brown hair and captivating grey eyes. She was like kryptonite to me as a horny teenage kid. She traded her long locks for shoulder length waves and today she was wearing a tailored cream suit jacket with matching skirt. All grown up and professional looking. No signs of the wild surfer girl with a drug problem.
"What makes you think that?" I cleared my throat as I stop my eyes from going to her long legs that were crossed in front of her.
What the fuck, Turner?
"Because I know you. You love that restaurant and never turn it down. We always go there when we are in Houston."
"I just can't, okay. You know that Courtney and I have only just gotten back together, and she still doesn't know that you work for me. I need to tell her. So until I disclose everything to her and see how she feels about it, I can't hang out with you, Erica."
"I don't see what the big deal is. You and I have been over for years."
"I realize that."
"Besides, if I wanted you, I'd have you already."
Before I could respond to her statement Paul Deal, the Pure Valley Aqua CEO, walked into the conference room to start the meeting. My thoughts were reeling from Erica's statement.
If she wanted me, she could have me?
I knew that she actually believed that, and it was the precise reason I needed to come clean to my wife before all of this spun out of control.
Chapter EightCourtney
I giggled at an incoming text from Alex. It was a selfie of him sitting in a darkened room illuminated by a faint light with his eyes crossed. The caption read:
“Really enjoying this blah, blah bullshit presentation.”
Today totally made up for yesterday. He called first thing this morning, his voice still groggy from sleep; I preferred that much better to my usual 6:15 am alarm. He also called again while in a taxi on the way to the conference. And now he sent me a picture of him in his boring morning meeting. I have to admit that I was disappointed when I didn't hear from him yesterday. I hadn't expected him to call during travel but at least when he got settled into the hotel. When the call didn't come, I dialed his number only for it to go to his voice mail. All of the old feelings of neglect and insecurity crept it's way inside and as much as I wanted to ignore it, I couldn't. I managed to refrain from Facebook stalking him and sending a million texts. I called him once and left it at that. I was very proud of myself. The remorse in his voice made up for all of it. I just wanted him to care that he disappointed me. If we continued to put in this kind of effort, I could see us mending all of our past issues bit by bit.
My phone buzzed, and I picked it up smiling, expecting to see another text from Alex.
Will: Are you free for lunch? I just want to talk face to face.
Me: I don't think that's a good idea. I'm sorry.
Will: I promise I'm not trying to be a psycho. You broke up with me over the phone. I wanted to see you in person at least.
The old me would have given in and met him because I couldn't see the harm in it. I did care about him. He was always a sweetheart to me, and I knew that breaking up with him over the phone was a crap thing to do. The new me understood that there was a lot of harm in it. I knew Alex would hit the roof if I met Will for lunch. I knew for sure that I would lose it if he met with Kimmie. As a matter of fact, I needed to tell him that I ran into her at the grocery store. No more secrets between us, no matter how insignificant they might seem. I vowed to be forever honest and open with him. That is exactly what I am going to do.
Me: No, I'm sorry. I won't meet with you but please take care of yourself.
Will was only a chapter in my life. I wanted Alex to be the entire story.
****
“And you didn't meet up with him?”
“No.”
"Why?” I felt he had every right to ask me this. He still needed to work through his insecurities. Instead of reacting and becoming defensive, I took a deep breath and calmly answered his question.
"Alex, I did not want to meet up with him because I don't care to see him, and it wasn't necessary. I said everything during the phone conversation. Right in front of you."
"I don't like it." He growled.
"I know, honey." I replied weakly because what else could I say. I caused this.
“Do you understand how much I hate feeling like this, Court?" I could hear the anger growing with every word.
"Alex, I--"
"Okay. Okay." He paused and I cou
ld hear him breathing. "Let's not blow this out of proportion, alright? Thanks for telling me.”
I'd found a way to ease in the topic of Will asking me to lunch that evening when Alex called. It was 11:00pm. He went to a late dinner with some of his co-workers and seemed to be in a pretty good mood. I wanted to get it over with because I felt like the more time that passed the guiltier I would seem.
“Alex, I want you to be able to trust me again. I will never keep anything from you.” There was a long silence on the line, I assumed the reason was that Alex didn't know how to respond. I knew he didn't trust me completely, but he wanted to. It was going to take time, and I had no problem with that. We had forever.
“One more thing I want to tell you.”
“Shit.” I heard him breathe out in irritation."What now?"
“I ran into Kimmie at the grocery store on Sunday.”
“Oh?”
“How do you feel about that?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you care at all that I saw her?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No, Courtney.”
“Okay.” I would be lying if I said I wasn't pleased with his response.
“Look, I could probably be a nice person and ask how she was and what you all said to each other. But honestly, as long as she didn't say anything mean or misleading to you then I don't give a shit. We have moved on from that part of our past. I don't want to dwell on it.”
“Okay.”
“Okay then."
“I love you, honey.”
“Love you, too.” I heard muffled sounds that probably meant he was moving around. “Let's talk about something else.”
“Like what?”
“Like how much you want me right now.”
“Nice transition there, smooth guy.” He laughed sexily, and I felt my toes curl at the sound.
“You know you've been thinking about me all day.”
“Maybe.”
“Just maybe? Baby, that actually hurts because I haven't been able to think about anything else but you.” He even sounded a bit wounded, and I did start to feel bad.
Forever True (The Story of Us) Page 4
