by Mia Madison
The Belladonna’s receptionist is waving me over. When I reach her, she hands me a takeout bag with the Revved logo on the side, along with a large cardboard cup of coffee. "This came for you while you were in your meeting."
Oh my god. “Thank you,” I manage to say, and carry it out to my car. I climb inside and shut the door before I check the bag’s contents. One container holds scrambled eggs and bacon, another French toast and sausage. There’s also a breakfast sandwich.
Dammit. That was sweet of him. Why did he have to be sweet?
My brother Carmine's house is on the way to my office, so I stop there. He works late because of the nightclub, but he might be up by now. I tap on his door, not too loudly in case he's still asleep, but his dog Woofer hears me and sets up a racket.
A few seconds later, Carmine opens the door. He's still in his bathrobe, his cheeks heavy with stubble. I hand him the bag. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. I brought you breakfast."
He kisses my cheek. "Thanks. Why?"
"No reason. I gotta run; have a good day." I leave him there, looking baffled, and go back to my car. The breakfast sandwich is sitting on the passenger seat. My stomach is growling, but I'll wait until I get to my office to eat it so I don't get food on my clothes.
Carmine's query is bouncing around my brain. Why? It's a good question. I can't figure out what's in Wolf's head.
I stop at the job site for Tonio's project on the way. It's a mixed-use development, infilling some empty lots in a run-down area, aimed at revitalizing the neighborhood without gentrifying it.
The project is designed to be walkable, and all the housing is affordable. Tonio already has tenants lined up for the shops, most of them local.
A lot of developers — probably most — wouldn't do a project like this; if things go badly, Tonio could lose a lot of money. But he's betting they won't, that even if there are hiccups along the way, the community will come through. I'm proud to be working with him.
By the time I finally reach my office, the sandwich is cold, but a few seconds in the microwave fixes that. Sitting at my desk, I force myself to eat it slowly, savoring the food and coffee. Thinking about the man responsible.
What do I do about Wolf? I need my posse. When I’m done eating, I call Erin.
5
What He’s Busy Denying
"Thank goodness we're not getting married until May,” Cait says. “There’s a lot to plan.”
She’s a curvy little brunette who’s engaged to my cousin Tonio, and she’s curled up in a chair in his living room. The house is comfortable, but like me, she’s not a fan of the cold, so she has a throw wrapped around her.
Besides Cait and I, all the other Adamo fiancées are here too: Erin, Gina, and Frankie. So is Mickey; she and Rico took a couple of days off work, but are saving their honeymoon trip for warmer weather.
"How does it feel to be an old married lady?" Erin asks her teasingly.
Mickey lets her beatific smile speak for her. "Are you pregnant yet?" Frankie wants to know. That gets a blush.
"Are you really getting pregnant right away?" I hope my question comes out as mild curiosity and nothing more. Going straight into motherhood instead of having a career isn’t what I would choose, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it.
"We’ve talked about it," Mickey says. “You know our invasion lasted a whole weekend because we all got snowed in together. There were a bunch of kids there.”
Invasions happen when numerous members of the Adamo clan pay an impromptu visit to a new couple. Everyone here has had one, except me. I’ve been part of the visiting horde a few times, but I’ve never been the invadee.
“So having all those bambinos around gave you the bug?” Cait says.
“It really did,” Mickey says. “I want lots of kids, and Rico is fully on board with helping me make them.” She smiles. “And raise them."
My memory rewinds to the conversation she and I had when we were hanging out at Kosta's. That was the night Wolf and I had our two-word encounter, and Mickey was sure he had a thing for me. I’d like to see him weather an Adamo invasion, she'd said.
At the time, imagining Wolf surrounded by inquisitive Adamos was funny. Now it just hurts.
"Are you sorry you didn't have a big wedding?" Gina asks.
Mickey laughs. “Not at all. I've got my man, and that's all I want."
"Me too," Cait says. "I mean, when I was a kid, I used to have all these elaborate fantasies about what our wedding would be like.” She fell for Tonio when she was just a girl, and had to wait a long time for anything to happen between them.
“But now that Tonio and I are together,” she goes on, “making it official is just window dressing. We’re having a big wedding because Tonio wants to give me that, and of course it makes our mothers happy.”
"I kind of like thinking about the wedding," Frankie says, a little shyly. "Not sure why, exactly. It just seems like it'll be ... fun."
“Go for it,” Mickey says with a grin. “Please have the biggest, fanciest wedding you can. Carlotta will be in heaven, and it'll help make up for Rico and I sneaking off to the courthouse." Since Frankie is engaged to Rico’s younger brother Victor, this makes sense.
"I am so glad that my mom and Lucia are doing all the planning," Cait says. "I have veto power, but otherwise I'm just letting them do what they want. Because, again, at the end of the day I'll be married to my man. Who cares how I get there?"
Erin clears her throat. “I hate to derail the wedding talk, but …”
All eyes immediately come to me. “Sorry, Dani,” Cait says. “We get carried away. What’s going on with you and Wolf?”
I shift in my chair. “I’m not sure. He’s sending some seriously mixed messages.”
“Tell us,” Gina urges, and I do. I tell them everything, even what happened eight years ago, all the way up to what happened the day Wolf bought me breakfast.
There’s a long silence when I finish, so long that I start to get uncomfortable. Then Mickey says, softly, “Were you waiting for him?”
My cheeks warm. “Not exactly. I went to college when I was sixteen, so I was in this awkward phase where I was too mature for guys my age, but too young for university men.”
“That would make sense for the first few years,” Gina agrees. “But after that …”
“It wasn’t that I was saving myself. It’s just that no one I met ever measured up to him. And then I got back home and found out he’s not as hot as I remembered him being. He’s hotter.”
“And the guy at the diner?” Erin says. “Paul something, you said his name was?”
“Paul Edmonds. Nice, good looking, came to check on me with Wolf. From what little I saw of him, seems like a seriously good guy.”
“But?”
I sigh. “He doesn’t give me tingles. At all. Is that bad?”
“Yes,” they all say in unison.
“You girls are a little biased,” I remind them. “You’re all with Adamo men. Not every guy can be all that.”
“No, they can’t,” Erin agrees. “But, Dani, first of all, alpha males are what grew up with. If you didn’t like men like that, you would have figured it out a long time ago. And second of all, you just said it yourself. Paul doesn’t do it for you, and Wolf — who is definitely an alpha male — does.”
She has a point. “But what good does that do if he won’t reciprocate?”
“He wants you,” Cait says, and the rest of them nod their agreement. “He’s just got some hangup about the virginity thing.”
“I don’t get that,” I complain. “It’s not like it’s a disease. Everyone has to have a first time.”
Mickey says, “Rico thought he had to stay away from me for my own good. Wolf seems like he might have something similar going on. I wonder if it’s because he’s friends with so many of the men in your family, and that sort of puts you off limits for him.”
“If he were afraid of the consequences, why did he carry
me off over his shoulder right in front of them?”
“I wouldn’t call it fear,” Mickey corrects. “I’d call it respect.”
“Jeez.” I rub my forehead. “So this is some kind of antiquated thing where I ‘belong’ to the men in my family? And he can’t be the one to make me a fallen woman because it would be disrespecting them?”
“Something like that, yeah. Again, just a guess.”
“Feels right, though,” Cait says. “He could fuck you if you already slept around, but he won’t pop your cherry.”
“That’s really messed up.” I scowl at them even though it’s not their fault. “It’s my body.”
“No argument here,” Gina says. “But no matter how archaic the attitude might be, it does sound like that’s what you’re dealing with.”
I throw my arms out. “So I need to go get laid by some random guy I don’t even care about and then tell Wolf I’ve cleared the way? That’s crazy.”
Mickey smiles. “If it were me …” Her voice trails off.
“What?” I demand.
“I wouldn’t go find some random guy to sleep with. But I would tell Wolf that was my plan.”
My eyes get big. “Are you serious?”
“Think about it. Maybe he would have gone all the way with your whole family out there, maybe not, but you and he were gonna do more before he found out it was your first time. Right?”
“Yes, but—”
“Honey, he had you over his knee.” Mickey’s cheeks tinge with pink. “For a man who’s into that, it’s a big deal.”
No one says anything, but I notice Cait’s blushing too. Erin’s smiling at the floor, and Gina and Frankie aren’t meeting my eyes. I open my mouth, and then decide I really don’t want to know the details of my cousins’ sex lives, let alone my brother’s.
“Okay, so it’s a big deal,” I prompt.
“The point is, we know he’s into you — he came right out and said so. He’s had his hands on you now, and he wants more.”
“Except he doesn’t want to do … that.”
Mickey shakes her head. “He very much wants to do that. Maybe he had a knee-jerk reaction to finding out you’re a virgin, but now he’s thinking he doesn’t want another guy getting his hands on you.”
I bite my lip. “Are you sure?”
“Rico was the same way. He wouldn’t let himself touch me, but he sure as hell didn’t want anyone else doing it.”
It does sound like what an alpha male would think. “But if I tell him I’m going to go get laid, won’t that just piss him off? He’d think I’m jerking him around, and he’d be right.”
“I was thinking of you telling him in a matter-of-fact way,” Mickey says. “Hi, how about that weather, by the way I’m getting my cherry popped.” I giggle. “But we could also let him know without you telling him.”
“You need a sacrificial lamb,” Frankie puts in.
I blink. “A what?”
“A guy who’s in on it, who can pretend to be interested in you and isn’t scared of Wolf. Ideally another biker, only not anyone in Firestorm because that would not be cool.”
“No one in Firestorm would volunteer, nor should they,” Cait says. “But I could ask Tonio if there are any other MCs nearby that Firestorm is friendly with.”
“Dani?” Erin joins in. “How are you feeling about this?”
“I don’t want to manipulate him,” I say slowly.
“No, of course not,” Mickey says. “The point is not to get him to do something he doesn’t want to, but for him to admit to himself what he’s busy denying.”
“I need to talk to him.” I look at Cait. “When’s the next Firestorm event that I can attend?”
6
Sexy And Pissed
The Firestorm compound is large, and tonight – ten days after Rico and Mickey’s wedding – it’s once again filled with people. But this time, they’re not primarily my family.
I’m wearing a form-fitting denim skirt that ends halfway down my thigh, a snug, hot pink Harley t-shirt, a black cardigan, and a chunky pink bracelet with a matching choker, all this with knee-high boots and my leather jacket. My hair is a little bit bigger than normal, my makeup a little bit heavier. Not enough that I don’t feel like me, but edging closer to biker babe territory.
We cross to where the booze is, and Tonio gets me and Cait each a beer. "Thanks,” I tell him, and settle in to survey the scene. There’s a big barbecue grill going, music’s playing from somewhere, and despite the cold, people are laughing, dancing, eating.
Now that the compound isn’t overrun with Adamos, I can see that Firestorm’s a good-sized club; I count a few dozen members here, all wearing their cuts. There are lots of women in attendance, too. Some of them seem to be with particular guys, while others are scoping out the men in a fairly obvious way.
Wolf is once again surrounded by female admirers. My inevitable flare of jealousy quickly gives way to insecurity. He’s used to women who’ve been around the biker lifestyle for years, and know exactly how to get raunchy with a guy. The thought of any of these hangers-on doing that with him makes me want to yank their hair out, but how can I compete?
He’s smiling, laughing, his usual congenial self. And then his eyes scan the crowd and light on me, and his face hardens. My heart feels bruised. Just once, I’d like to be the person who brings out his happiness, not the one who drives it away.
He says something to the women, detaches himself from the group, and makes his way to me. He’s in his usual jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, with his cut over it. The shirt hugs his chest, his abs, his biceps. Heat curls low in my belly.
“Dani,” he says, his expression still serious.
“Reid.” I feel off-balance with him, defensive. Resisting the impulse to cross my arms, I shove my hands in my pockets instead.
“What are you doing here?”
His voice is soft, not accusatory, but I feel the sting of his words all the same. Summoning up my courage, I tell him, “I need to talk to you.”
He takes a pull of his beer, his eyes not leaving me. “About what?”
My arms cross before I can stop them. I don’t speak, just arch an eyebrow at him as though the answer is obvious. Which it should be, if he’s not deep in denial.
But he’s not going to help me out. He just stands there, waiting for me to explain myself. So I steel my nerves, and I give him the speech I’ve been practicing.
“Based on the last time I was here, I have to assume you have a problem with my … inexperience.” His eyes narrow, but he still doesn’t speak. “So I just wanted you to know that I’m going to—” I wave a hand— “take care of that.”
His expression is stony. When he speaks, his voice is hard. “With who? That suit you picked up in the café?”
“I didn’t pick him up. And it’s none of your business with who.” The truth is I have no candidates in mind, except it won’t be Paul because he seems like a nice guy and I don’t want to use him.
Instead of staying on topic, Wolf switches tack. “You needed to come here to tell me that?”
“What’s wrong with telling you here?”
“This ain’t your scene.”
I struggle to keep my cool. “You have no idea what my scene is.”
“I know this ain’t it.”
He probably thinks I’d rather be at a symphony. “You’ve got the wrong idea about me, Wolf.”
Something flickers in his eyes, but all he says is, “Do I?”
“I’m not some society woman.”
“Don’t mean you’re fit for this life.”
“Fit for it?” My temper is rapidly fraying. “What the hell does that mean?”
“The fact you don’t know proves my point.”
Now I’m not just getting mad, I’m there. “For fuck’s sake, Wolf. Does no one ever come into this life who wasn’t already in it? Did you grow up in it?”
His eyes narrow; he doesn’t respond. “So you didn’t,” I say. �
�I don’t know where you got this impression that I’m some sort of special snowflake who can’t deal, but frankly it’s insulting.”
“You finished?” he says, jaw tight.
“No. As long as we’re talking about it, what the hell is your problem with me, anyway? I’d really like to know.”
“I got no problem with you. I got a problem with you bein’ where you don’t belong.”
“You keep saying I don’t belong here, but you haven’t said a single thing that proves it. I think you’re just scared of me.”
His eyes blaze and then go icy. “Mind your tongue.”
“I will not.” I’m past reason now, into the pure fury that only this man can incite in me. “I’m going to tell the whole damn town that Wolf Calhoun is—”
I don’t get to finish. He yanks me into his arms, tight against him, and then his mouth crashes down on mine.
Oh. My. God.
As if we’ve done this a million times before, I go up on my toes, my arms winding around his shoulders, my fingers diving into his hair. He’s got one hand at the back of my neck and the other arm locked around my waist. My mouth opens under his, and his tongue slides inside.
He tastes like beer and Wolf, strength and freedom and sweet, sweet sin. I press myself closer and he drinks me in, giving as he takes, until I want to wrap myself around him no matter who’s watching.
When he finally lifts his head, my eyes flutter open slowly. His mouth is only an inch from mine, his eyes blue flame. “Wolf,” I say softly, and his grip tightens.
I don’t know what I’m expecting to happen next, but it isn’t for him to release me and take a step back. Even less do I expect the words that come from his mouth. “Go home, Dani.”
Pain slams into my chest, hotter than molten steel. “Don’t make me hate you,” I whisper, my voice ragged. His face tightens as though he’s the one in pain.
“Go,” he says, his voice rough.
Humiliation swamps me. I turn and walk away, head down, not meeting anyone’s eye. The conversations that were going on all around us have died down. Everyone saw him kiss me, and now everyone’s watching him send me away.
