He’s just talking, not really addressing anyone. Almost like he’s carrying a conversation on with Karen.
My eyes keep searching for someone, anyone that I can signal to for help. There isn’t anyone though. This area is completely deserted right now.
Feeling my pocket my stomach gets a sick feeling. My phone is gone. It must have fallen out in the car.
That was my last hope.
We walk for what feels like forever until a small wooden cabin comes into view. “Well we’re here. Let’s get this over with,” Joe says as he opens the door. “Kids, go sit on the couch.”
Johnny and Amy listen without protest. Amy’s sad eyes don’t leave mine as she watches the horrifying scene in form of her.
“Dad, just let her go! Miss Chrissy is only trying to help us!” He’s crying and my heart is breaking.
“This is not Chrissy. This is your mother, boy. Don’t you dare question me again!” His fist bangs the wall behind us. I’m crouched next to him trying to relieve some of the pressure from my scalp.
“She isn’t mom, dad! Please just—” loud bang sounds and I watch in horror as Johnny’s body sags onto the couch.
“One down, three to go,” Joe mutters next to me.
Amy screams and I want to run to her and pull her away from her brother. Shield her eyes form the scene that will haunt her dreams.
“Shut up, girl!” Joe screams and Amy only cries more. “Fucking Christ!”
I close my eyes at the sound of another bang and I don’t need to open them to see.
Amy’s cries are silenced.
I try to hold in the scream that wants to rip from my lungs. It comes out like a strangled moan.
“Do you see what you made me do you, bitch?” He starts to walk dragging me with him. I don’t have the energy to fight him anymore. I couldn’t save them.
I failed.
At this point I know I’m doomed. He’ll kill me before anyone can get to me.
I say a silent prayer.
One more I love you to the people that mean everything to me.
Chapter TwentyTwo
Rock
“I'd die for you
That's easy to say
We have a list of people that we would take
A bullet for them
A bullet for you
A bullet for everybody in this room” - Twenty One Pilots
Wrench said Chrissy’s signal stopped moving about twenty minutes ago and I’ve been a wreck since. When the curve comes into sight and I see a car smashed against a tree I panic. Rushing off my bike I run to the car only to find it empty.
“Where the fuck are they?!” I yell, the sound of my voice echoing off the mountains.
Tracker has his phone out. “Rock, he said the guy had a cabin with the wife. It’s about a mile up the trail.”
“That’s got to be it. I don’t know how our bikes will do on that road. Leave them and tell Wrench we need someone at that address with a truck.” I rattle off and then head for the trail with my brothers following me. Breaking out into a jog I need to get to her. I need to make sure that she’s okay. Something inside of me is saying if something had happened I’d know, I’d feel it.
The cabin comes into view and it’s really quiet. “Colt, Hunt you two go around back. “We’ll take the front door.” They nod and make their way around the house. “You ready for this?” I look over at Tracker and Storm.
“We got your back brother.” Tracker nods at me.
Making our way up the stairs I look in the window and what I see makes me fucking sick. There are two kids on the couch that I’m pretty sure are dead. If this sick asshole shot his kids what could he be doing to Chrissy?
“Fucker killed his own kids, they’re on the couch in there. We need to get in there and her away from him.”
Their eyes go wide at my statement. This is something I never wanted to see.
Opening the door slowly I step into the cabin listening for any sounds of Chrissy or him. That’s when I hear voices in what sounds like it could be a back bedroom. I nod and the guys follow me down the hallway.
The bedroom door is cracked and Chrissy is sitting in the corner. Her legs are stretched out in front of her, and she seems to be completely detached from the sight in front of her.
The maniac is in there with his gun pointed right at her screaming about how she never should have tried to leave him. Fucker has obviously lost his damn mind.
I open the door and when he turns to face me I land three bullets in his chest. He falls to the floor like a ton of bricks and I look over to Chrissy. I expect her to get up and run to him but she doesn’t.
“Babe?”
Nothing.
Walking over to her I crouch down low. Her eyes look at me but it’s like there’s nothing there. “You okay?”
Nothing.
I scoop her up into my arms. “Anyone know when the truck will be here?”
Hunt is on the phone and turns to me. “Pres said they should be here in five.”
I walk her out of the house, holding her so she can’t see the kids as we pass them.
Sitting down on the steps I brush hair out of her face. “Talk to me, babe.”
She doesn’t move. What the hell did he do to her?
I hear an engine and look up to see Whip driving my truck. “Everything good?” he says as he climbs out.
“Not even close. Crazy asshole shot his two kids. I’m pretty sure I killed the fucker when I found him pointing a gun at Chris. There’s something going on though. She won’t say anything, she won’t move.” I look up at him hoping he can help me out here because I’m at a loss.
He couches down taking a look at her. “Chris, you okay?”
Nothing.
“I’m thinking she’s going through some kind of shock. Lucy might know more about it than me. She went through some similar shit. Let me drive you guys back. Brick is in the truck and he can take your bike back. Pres is sending the cleaning crew over.” He stands up. “You need any help?” He nods at Chrissy.
“No, I’m good. Thanks, man.” I stand up carrying her to the car and Brick opens the door for me.
Holding her in my arms, she’s like deadweight. If she wasn’t breathing, a part of me would be wondering if she was even still with me.
Whip climbs in and starts back down the road. “Doc will be there to check her out when we get back.”
“Good. Maybe he’ll know what we can do.”
“Lucy went through a period where she didn’t talk to anyone for months. One of the hardest times of my life. I couldn’t help her, I didn’t know what was wrong. I felt completely helpless. Only thing you can do is stay positive and don’t put this shit on your shoulders. You did everything you could.” His words help but I do blame myself.
She’s my girl. I’m supposed to keep her safe. When I look at her right now I don’t even see that girl.
I hope she isn’t gone for good.
***
We get back to the clubhouse pretty quickly and I carry Chrissy inside. As promised, Doc is waiting for her in my room. He kicks me out while he examines her and just being this far from her right now is killing me. After thinking I might lose her today, I don’t want to be away from her at all.
The door opens and Doc steps into the hallway. “Whatever happened to her has put her into serious shock, or a mental breakdown. Right now there isn’t much you or I can do. She’s kind of blocking out the world to keep from dealing with whatever happened. Until she decides to lift that wall she’ll be shut down. I wish I had better or more concrete news for you but I don’t. I will tell you that you can’t push her. You need to let her come out of this on her own.”
“I um…thanks.” I walk into the room and she’s curled up into a ball under my covers. I slide in beside her pulling her against her but she doesn’t move or react. “Come back to me, baby. Please,” I whisper in her ear but that, like everything else, goes unanswered.
How can I lose
her after I worked so hard to get her back?
Chapter TwentyThree
Chrissy
“I try to sleep,
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me A thousand more regrets unraveling” - Backstreet Boys
Empty.
It’s the only way to describe how I feel. Nothing is inside me.
There’s no sadness, no fear, no emotions.
Just quiet.
People have come and gone but if I block them out I don’t need to deal with their questions. There doesn’t need to be any explanations. No memories, no telling what happened.
Just quiet.
That’s when I hear it. The laugh of a child.
I look to the end of the bed and see Shaina. “Aunt Kissy, you look sad so I tell you funny story.” She walks around my bed and sits in front of me crossing her legs. “Carter said I no beat him in superheroes. I poked him in the pee pee with my sword and I beat him.” Her smile is so big. “I win!” The big smile on her face reminds me of Amy when I used to visit the house. She was always so excited to see me.
A sharp pain hits my chest and I cry out. Shaina jumps and gets off the bed. Everything comes rushing back in a wave. The memories, their cries, the sight of Johnny fallen beside his inconsolable sister.
“Mommy!” I hear Shaina call.
I hear more voices but they are quiet compared to the screaming in my head.
The sounds of the sudden silence to Amy’s crying. The deafening silence because of her father.
I feel a set of arms around me and I fight against them.
“It’s me Chrissy, clam down.” I know it’s Rock’s voice but I can’t convince my body that it is.
I thrash and push against his hold as he lays next to me holding me against him. Knowing I can’t win I stop fighting against him and succumb to the sobs I’ve been holding in for what seems like years.
He doesn’t try to quiet me. He lets me scream and cry the entire time just holding me in his arms.
It feels like forever until the tears stop and dry up. My chest hurts from heaving, my throat is raw, and my eyes feel so swollen it hurts to open them.
“You’re safe. I got you, babe,” Rock whispers in my ear and a small part of my body believes him and relaxes. He repeats the same thing and more of me melts against him. He says it again and again, each time a little more of me becomes less tense. I feel my eyes getting heavy as the emotional exhaustion sets in.
***
When I wake up I’m wrapped in Rock’s arm, my entire body warm from his heat. I lay here thinking about everything that happened and I can’t help but blame myself. How did I not see how crazy Joe was?
Was he hurting them in ways I couldn’t see? Did he just put on a show for me? Were Johnny and Amy begging for me to see what was really going on?
“Hey.” Rock’s arms tighten around me. “How are you feeling?”
It such a simple question with no simple answer. “Terrible.”
It’s all I say but it’s really all I need to.
“What can I do?” His voice is almost pleading with me.
“Nothing.” My voice is empty. “What I saw I can’t forget. It was my fault too. I caused all of this.”
Rock lifts my chin so I’m looking at him. “No. You cannot put the crazy actions of that lunatic on your shoulders. You had no idea and he made sure of that. You told me about this family a few times. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault.” He emphasizes each word.
“I wish I could believe that. I can’t get their faces out of my mind. I crashed the car hoping to help them get away. That only pissed him off more though.” I shake my head thinking I should have told them to run once they were out of the car.
“If you hadn’t done that all of you would have died where his wife did. I heard what he told you.” Rock pulls me closer. “You did all you could.”
I wish that were true.
Epilogue
Chrissy
“When you're searching the horizon When your eyes look back
When you're standing in the moment Every life has a soundtrack” - Brett Eldredge
Two months later
We’re having a barbecue at the club today and it will be the first time I’ve been around everyone since it happened. No one has really asked me about it because I think they might be scared to. I was in a dark place for the first month. I shut myself out from everyone and everything. The last month I’ve spent working through that day. Trying to understand what happened.
And trying to forgive myself.
The last week had been the best. I had headstones made for the kids and I went to visit them. Being able to talk to them and let out everything I felt was therapeutic. I needed it.
Now I feel like I’m finally starting to breathe again. Rock and I have been better too. He’s been amazing through all of this and has never left my side. I don’t know where I would be without him.
A set of arms wraps around me as he presses his lips to my neck. “You ready for all this?”
“Not like I have a choice.” I laugh. The kids are running around. Carter and Shaina are already about to rip each other’s heads off as usual.
The lockdown was lifted but all of the guys still seem tense. I can tell that whatever was going on isn’t over yet. It’s still brewing and simmering under the surface. Whenever I mention it to Rock he just brushes me off, which is honestly what I would expect. I know that he can’t talk to me about it.
We walk outside hand in hand to join everyone else. The sun shines bright and I take a deep breath. Looking up at the clouds I say a silent prayer for Amy, Johnny, and Karen.
Rock’s arm wraps around me and I relax into him. “I love you.”
“Love you too, babe.” He places a kiss on my head as we watch the family that we both recently acquired. Neither of us really had any family base to start with, now we have more than we could have ever imagined.
Little does Rock know our family might just be growing by one.
I hope you enjoyed Havoc!
Keep reading for a preview of Torn coming 10/23!
Playlist
Irresistible - Fall Out Boy Attention - Charlie Puth Sing - Ed Sheeran
Bad Intentions - Niykee Heaton She’s So High - Tal Bachman Starving - Hailee Steinfeld Fragile - Prince Fox
Perfect Strangers - Jonas Blue Kill Em’ With Kindness - Selena Gomez Only You - Joshua Radin Stay - Rihanna
If I Told You - Darius Rucker Something Big - Shawn Mendes Circles - Jana Kramer
Everybody We Know Does - Chase Rice Wherever You Will Go - The Calling Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya Black - Dierks Bentley Torn - Natalie Imbruglia Me And My broken Heart - Rixton Amnesia - 5 Seconds Of Summer All You Wanted - Michelle Branch Ride - Twenty One Pilots Inconsolable - Backstreet Boys Wanna Be That Song - Brett Eldredge
Prologue
The loud crash jolts me out of bed and a few seconds later my mother comes running in the room. “Sweetheart you need to hide, there are people in the house.” Her voice is quiet but I can hear the fear in it.
My stomach drops as my body freezes.
“Now.” Her voice is a raised whisper. She points to my bedroom closet and I run trying to grab for her hand but she shoo’s me away.
I open the door thanking God for once that my closet is such a disaster. I lay on the floor covering myself with any clothes I can.
Mom quickly rushes over finishing the job for me. “No matter what, don’t make a sound.”
She quietly shuts the door and I can hear my father’s voice downstairs. I can’t make out what he’s saying but he’s yelling at someone. There is a loud bang and my heart stops. That sounded like a gunshot but it couldn’t be, this can’t be happening right now.
I lift on if the shirts just a little bit so I can see through the opening in between my door and the floor. I see mom working her way under my bed but I know I shove so much stuff under there, that there is probably no room.
Heavy footsteps sound as
my whole body goes rigid. The boots stop at the edge of my bed and I hear a stomach churning laugh before his hand appears and pulls my mother’s leg out from under the bed.
I can hear her pleading with him to take whatever they want and go. I pray that he listens, and that whatever sound I heard my dad is still okay. He doesn’t say a word though. After a few more seconds another loud bang sounds and my mom falls to the floor. I clamp my hand over my mouth silently sobbing and praying that they don’t find me.
My body is stiff from fear, and I’m scared to move because I don’t want him to find me.
“Take anything that’s not nailed the fuck down but do it quick.” I hear him shout to whoever else must be in the house. He stands in my room for a minute before heading over to my dresser. “There ain’t much in here.” I hear the sound of my music box being picked up. My dad gave it to me on my last birthday. It crashes to the ground and I flinch from the noise. “All fucking junk.” The sound of the boots fades.
I can hear crashing and things being thrown around as the men tear through my family home. My mom’s eyes are closed and I pray to god that she is just passed out. She can’t be gone.
It feels like I sit in that closet for days listening to things banging and breaking.
When the closet door opens, I scream.
Chapter One
Storm
Driving over to the school I look at Nikki and feel bad. This is the third time in a month they’ve called her about an issue with Carter. This time they want her to come in for a conference. The kid is smart as all hell, he just has a mouth on him. Can’t say I’m surprised because he takes after Pres.
I look over at her again but this time she catches me. “You got a staring problem or you have something to say?”
She’s lucky she’s the Pres’s old lady because Nikki has a big mouth when it comes to the brothers. He’s away on business meeting with another club so he asked me if I could take her to the school. Normally she could go alone but for months we had people sabotaging our runs and screwing with our territory so no one is allowed out alone.
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