by T. L Hodel
“Alright. We’re going to need a few things. But first things first, we have to get you a contract, my boy.”
“That’s gonna be a problem.” The contracts with the Order required the signature of the male head of house. In Lana’s case, there was none. “She doesn’t have a father.”
“That’s fine. We can go to her uncle, brother, or grandfather if we have to.”
I shook my head. “She doesn’t have any of those either.”
“There’s always someone,” his finger waved through the air, “You just have to know where to look. What’s the girl’s name?”
“Lana Crawford.”
“Lana Crawford?” His brow rose. “The girl that lives on the edge of town with her grandmother?”
“That’s the one.”
“Your mother is not going to be happy about this.”
No shit, Sherlock.
“Is that going to be a problem?”
I could handle my mother. Hell, Preston had been waiting for a reason to take her out of this world, but it’d be easier if I didn’t have to. She was still my mother. Besides, Ava was pretty close with her, and while I cared about my mother, I loved my sister.
“If it is, I’ll take care of it.” The next words he spoke removed any doubt I had about that statement. “Your mother might be my wife, but she’s not my blood.”
Chapter 5
Lana
I was seeing Preston everywhere. Hiding in the shadows. Staring at me from the corner of every room I entered, and in the mirror’s reflection. When I closed my eyes, there he was, with a sick smile on his face and a blade in his hand. It was the reality behind Micha’s words that got to me. Preston would shoot someone on main street during rush hour and not blink. Why was I so sure of this? Because he’d actually done it, and he didn’t spend a day in jail.
I was more worried about Sean than I was myself. The next day when he saw me at school and I jerked away from him, I saw the hurt in his eyes. He didn’t understand. That’s when I knew, he didn’t remember. It was a bit of a relief, honestly, because the same guy that bandaged my knee when I fell off the swings would never hurt me. He’d kill anyone that did. Exactly why he could never find out what happened that night. It would not only destroy him, but Harper as well. They both carried so many crosses for me. It was my turn to shoulder pain for them.
So I told myself that the man who held me down and forced himself inside me wasn’t Sean. He just wore his body. Did it help? Not really. It was still his eyes that haunted my nightmares. His raspy grunts I heard wafting through my ears. And his spicy scent that made me want to throw up. Every time I heard his voice, I was brought back to that moment, and the way the moon shone down on us.
The only thing that chased away the nightmares was thinking about another night. The way someone else touched me, and the words they whispered in my ear. Parker Whitley should not be my saviour. I hated him for the way he treated me. Paying me off like a whore. But that didn’t stop my mind from seeking him out as a refuge from my fear.
I hugged the toilet and wretched out the last of my breakfast. Morning sickness, indeed. Every morning this month, I spent at least an hour praying to the porcelain gods. The easy way out of this situation would be to take care of the problem. Girls did it all the time. But every time I thought about walking into that clinic, I felt more sick than I was right now. This baby was innocent. It didn’t ask for any of this, or choose to be made. However its inception came to be, it wasn’t this child’s fault. And it was a part of me.
Knowing what I was going to do, I sighed and glanced down at my stomach. It was time to tell Nan.
“Lana, honey,” Nan knocked on the door, “Are you okay?”
Sometimes that woman seriously scared me. It was like she could sense my thoughts.
“I’m fine.” I was so not fine. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Okay, hurry up. We have to leave in fifteen minutes.”
“Okay, Nan.”
Using the sink, I pulled myself up and rinsed my mouth out. The minty mouthwash cut through the bitter taste of vomit, but did nothing to dull my guilt. No amount of toothpaste or mouthwash could take that away. No matter what I did, Nan was always there. She didn’t get mad if I screwed up or failed a test. She helped me fix the situation. One time, she stayed up all night helping me study for a make-up exam. So why was I afraid to go to her now, when I needed her the most?
Because you don’t want to disappoint her.
We didn’t have much, and what we did have, Nan busted her butt to get. I dreaded telling her when I needed something for school. Mostly because she’d just smile and say, ‘we’ll figure it out.’ And she did. Even if that meant eating instant noodles for a week. That’s why I tried so hard at school. She was so happy when I got the scholarship, her entire face beamed with pride. I just wanted to make her proud. Not make things harder, with another mouth to feed.
I looked up, studying the girl in the mirror. She looked the same. Black hair, pink lips and caramel complexion, but her eyes were different. The hazel color glimmering in the sunlight wasn’t as bright. There was no spark or glint. They simply stared back, dull and empty.
Tears burned in my eyes as I opened the door to our small bathroom and stepped out into the hall. Instead of letting myself be drawn to the kitchen by the mouth-watering aroma, I slipped into my room. Burying my face in my pillow and crying for a few minutes seemed like a better option, then facing Nan.
“Alright, child,” I jumped at the sudden sound of Nan’s voice. She might be on in age, but the woman was sly as a fox. “I’ve had enough of this.”
Nan was sitting on my bed with her hands folded in her lap, and her eyebrow cocked. I knew the look well. It was her, ‘keep pushing me kid and you’ll get the wooden spoon’ look. She was like a ninja with that thing. Once she hit me from across the room, and I swear the damn spoon ricocheted right back into her palm.
I blinked back the tears in my eyes and forced a smile on my face. “Hi, Nan.”
“Don’t you ‘hi Nan’ me, Missy.” We were getting dangerously close to spoon talk here. “You are going to sit your butt down and stop lying to me.”
Staring into her deep brown eyes, I broke. All the emotions I’d been holding back came bursting out at once. My chin started to quiver as hot tears flowed down my face.
“I’m sorry, Nan,” I blubbered and glanced down at my belly, “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“Good lord, child, is that what you’re so worked up about?” She released a relieved breath and waved her hand through the air. “I know about that. A baby is a blessing, Lana.”
I stared at her for a second with wet streaks rolling down my cheeks. “You knew?”
“Of course I knew.”
All I could say was, “How?”
“I do have some experience.” Nan cocked her brow again. “Do you think your mother just appeared out of thin air? Because let me tell you, that woman came into being through twenty-seven hours of hard labor and a lot of cussing. I was beginning to think you were going to wait until that baby came out before you told me.”
With just a few words, Nan managed to do what Harper never could. She shut me up. For the first time in my life, I was speechless. My mouth kept opening, but nothing came out. She knew all this time and didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure if I should be mad, or relieved.
“Have been to see the doctor yet?”
I shook my head. That was the one thing I couldn’t do. The second I found out the conception date, the happy illusion I was hiding behind might shatter. I wasn’t ready to let that go.
“Well,” Nan stood up and smoothed her skirt down, “I’ll make an appointment tomorrow.”
I couldn’t let her take me to the doctor. “Doctors cost money, Nan.”
“So do babies, child.” She opened the door and looked over her shoulder at me. “The father can help with that. Now get your stuff. It’s time for school.”
“I
can’t–”
“A baby changes nothing. If I have to raise that baby myself, you will get an education, Lana.” Her serious gaze locked with mine, “Do you understand me?”
I licked my lips and nodded. It wasn’t my education I was worried about.
For the first time in years, I hated walking through the halls of Ashworth. Don’t get me wrong, things were never great. Harper and I were prime targets for the popular crowd. The only part of that that bothered me, was the cruel treatment my best friend lived through every day. The names and stupid pranks that Naomi and Mason played on me were just that, stupid. Naomi’s idea of taunting was reminding me of the labels on my clothes and my unattached status. Neither of which I particularly cared about. Would I argue a Gucci dress? No. Did I need it? Also no.
Besides, I had other things on my mind. Like the appointment Nan already had booked in the ten minutes it took me to get out to the car. Why did she have to be so efficient? Not only that, but she had a meeting arranged with the principal next week, to discuss my situation. Or, as Nan put it, “They are not kicking my baby girl out.” Ashworth wasn’t prepared for my Nan. Last year, when Severson said something about the elderly needing assistance in his store, she decided to show him just how capable a woman her age was. Ten minutes later, the entire senior’s center, and her church group, were swarming his store.
It didn’t matter what the issue was, Nan would stand up for it. Even the ones she didn’t agree with. Homosexuality was a prime example of that. She called it ungodly love, yet she was the first to fight for some guy’s right to suck dick.
She even took on Lillianna Whitley and her Nationalist group. With the whole five other African American families in town. There used to be seven, but Parker’s mother chased the other two away. There was a heavy Latin population in Ashen Springs, all of whom were more than happy to back Nan when it came to the Whitley witch. It was kind of ironic that I hoped the baby I was carrying had the same last name as the woman Nan had been fighting for years.
I tried to put her latest call to arms out of my head, and spent the first part of my morning focusing on my classes. It worked, for the most part. I was actually enjoying the conversation I was having with Harper. It was nice to feel normal again.
“Mr. Saddler wants to pair us up for our history project.”
I didn’t need to look at Harper to see her apprehension. History was one of the few classes we didn’t have together, and Harper didn’t do well with people. Sometimes she didn’t do well with me.
“Ask Shelby to partner with you,” I suggested.
“The project requires a female and male point of view.”
Shit. Normally I’d tell her to ask Brandon, but with stuff like this, Mr. Saddler often assigned partners in alphabetical order. It helped avoid boys or girls picking someone for the wrong reasons. Last year, Logan had ten girls in the class fighting to be his partner. Literally fighting. I saw more broken fingernails, hair and bleeding noses that day than I had thought possible.
“So, that means…”
“Silas,” she whispered in a shaky voice.
Of course. Creswell and Callaghan. Silas himself wasn’t so bad. That wasn’t what had Harper shaking like a leaf. If you hung around Silas, there was one person you were guaranteed to run into. Mason.
“Don’t worry, Harper.” I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but all I could see were her eyes. The same eyes I saw staring down at me in my nightmares. Instead of comforting her, I took a step back. “Mason won’t screw with you. Silas is all about getting the work done.”
And he was. Strictly by the books Silas, I called him.
Harper dropped her head. I could still see the tears glimmering in her eyes, though. I moved to get closer and comfort her, but stopped when I saw someone storming down the hall. Someone who looked pissed as hell. With a hard swallow, I readied myself for the wrath openly portrayed on Sean’s face. I could do this. I could keep my cool and pretend everything was normal. Sean probably heard about Harper having to work with the enemy and was coming to reassure her.
I didn’t realize I was moving, until my back hit my locker. Get it together, Lana. It’s just Sean mad about something. Nothing new. Except for what he did to you.
My heart stopped dead in my chest when he stormed right past Harper and grabbed my elbow.
“Come here,” he growled in that big brother voice I’d come to know so well.
Only this time, that sense of familiarity didn’t help calm my nerves. It shot them right up to high alert.
“Sean,” I snarled, trying to sound angry instead of scared. “What the hell is wrong with you? You can’t just drag me away like that.”
“The hell I can’t.” He pulled me into an empty room and pushed me back against the wall.
No matter how many times I told myself that this was just Sean being Sean, I couldn’t suck in enough oxygen. The air in the room got thinner with each breath.
“I’ve been hearing some rumors.”
My eyes darted around, looking for a way to escape. “They’re just rumors.”
“Tell me you’re still a virgin?”
That’s when I got angry. I wasn’t a virgin. He would know that if he didn’t drink so much. If he could control himself. Why didn’t he remember? I did, and I had some to drink that night too. “That’s none of your business.”
Sean’s light eyes darkened and that vein in his forehead began to throb. The same vein I saw that day. Hovering over me, throbbing in the sweat coating his forehead.
“Who touched you?”
You did.
The image shifted to the smiling little boy smoothing a bandage on my bleeding skin. The warm eyes gazing down at me while we swayed on the dance floor. I could hear his voice whispering reassurances in my ear. “Don’t pay attention to them. You don’t need a dad, you have me, and I’ll protect you.” This was Sean, the same little boy that beat kids up for making fun of me. He wouldn’t hurt me. He loved me.
“I’m not having this conversation with you.” I turned to leave, but Sean’s arm shot out, cutting me off.
“You sure as fuck are.” He leaned in and slowly rolled his gaze down me. I felt sick. I needed to get out of here. “You wanna tell me why you’re wearing sweaters all the time?”
The next thing I knew, his hands were on my sweater, trying to pull it up. That’s when I lost it. Screaming, “Don’t touch me!” and, “get away from me!” as I swung my hands through the air, violently striking him anywhere I could.
“Jesus Christ, Lana,” he fought to contain my arms, but that only made me swing them harder. “Calm down. I’m not going to hurt you.”
The words left my mouth before I could stop them. “You already did.”
“What?”
I stopped and stared at the confusion on his face. My mouth opened, prepared to take back my statement, but nothing came out. Because he had hurt me. In the worst possible way. And no matter how much I wanted to tell him he didn’t, I couldn’t force the words to come out. They sat there, lodged in my throat, filling my mouth with a bitter taste.
His brows knit as he took a step closer. “When did I hurt you?”
Guilt settled deep in my gut at the concerned way he reached out for me. It was killing him to think that he might’ve hurt me. Sean could never know the truth. I had to bare this pain for both of us, but I couldn’t stop the tears either. So, I did the only thing I could.
I ran.
Burst out of the room, and wrapped my arms around the first thing that gave me a sense of safety.
Chapter 6
Parker
The last thing I expected when I turned the corner was to find myself standing in the hall with Lana tightly clinging to me. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t complaining. In fact, it took less than a second for me to wrap my arms around her and pull her tightly into me. I was just a little shocked. She’d spent the last few weeks avoiding me, and now she was using me for… protection, maybe? Fuck it. I’d take
it. If Lana wanted me to strip naked and dive into a pit of snakes, I’d do it. As long as I could feel her soft body afterwards, I’d do whatever the fuck she wanted.
The way her body was shaking had me seeing red. My little angel was scared, and not just scared, but fucking terrified. I was about to ask her why, when Callaghan came out of a room. The same room Lana was in a few seconds ago.
This motherfucker.
“What the fuck did you do to her?”
Sean’s lip curled at my question. “I didn’t do anything to her.”
“Bullshit!”
I don’t know what the fuck went down in that room, but whatever it was had me tempted to slap the shit out of this asshole. Self appointed brother or not. No one made my Lana cry.
“I don’t need to explain myself to you, Whitley. Come on, Lana.” When he reached out for her, she buried her face in my chest.
I smiled internally and tightened my grip on her. She picked me, prick. “Looks like she doesn’t want to go with you.”
“Too fucking bad.”
This prick didn’t give up. He kept trying to pull her away from me, and that shit wasn’t happening.
“Eat shit, Callaghan,” I growled, and twisted so he’d have to reach around me to get her. “You can have her when you pry her out of my cold, dead hands.”
I wasn’t kidding. Didn’t give a shit if people were watching. Lana Crawford was mine, and it was time everyone knew that.
“This doesn’t involve you, Whitley.”
“The fuck it doesn’t. She’s pregnant with my kid.”
Silence. Complete and utter shocked quiet fell down the hall. Sean wasn’t the only one staring at me with his mouth open in shock. Fuck, even Lana twitched in my arms. And what did I do? I smiled. A big, wide, toothy grin. That’s right, motherfuckers, this one’s mine.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Sean cried out, “Him? I thought you were smarter than that, Lana.”
