by Avril Rose
My heart pounds violently in my chest, close to panic. The scene I’m witnessing makes me want to vomit. I feel the anxiety cutting off my oxygen supply and contorting my face. It’s a nightmare! It can’t be anything else. Snippets from my night with Liam come back to me, as if to tell me that I’m going to wake up, that this is not real.
“Zoe? Is something wrong?” Lisa asks, worried.
My smile vanished suddenly, along with all the color in my face. I must be horribly pale. I think I might actually vomit.
Who is this woman he seems so... intimate with?
She’s soaking up his every word and he can't stop smiling. They stare into each other’s eyes.
When she sinks into his arms, I look away. I can't stand it.
“That’s him,” Lisa explains to Chloe, motioning with her eyes.
I still cannot get any air. I’m about to suffocate. My ears are buzzing and there’s a lump in my throat and in my stomach. Tears are threatening to make an appearance.
“Take her outside, I’ll catch up with you.”
Chloe’s voice seems far away, almost imaginary. I let Lisa guide me to the exit.
The cold air pulls me out of my fog. I turn to my friend.
“Damn it, that was him, Lisa,” I say, on the verge of tears.
“I know, sweetie, I saw.”
She puts her hand on my back to comfort me. I'm shaking. From the cold? From disgust? I don’t know where I am. I feel like I’ve just witnessed a tragedy that I had a leading role in. Everything seems so unreal.
It can't be real.
Not after last night.
“I want to go home. Where is Chloe?”
“She’s paying for our drinks. She won’t be long,” she reassures me.
He better not walk out here now. I couldn't stand to face him, to face them.
The tears are about to take over when I think of their gestures, betraying how obviously close they were. I would give anything, in this moment, to erase the image of that woman, pressed against his muscular chest, smelling his scent, enjoying the protection of his strong arms. I wish I could forget Liam’s arm wrapped around her, forget the happiness on their faces, never think of that look in their eyes, full of promise. But I know the scene from tonight will haunt me. I fight back my tears, keeping them from tumbling down onto my cheeks.
You’re better than that, Zoe.
Chloe joins us a couple minutes later. My friends take me home without saying a word.
“We’re coming up with you,” Chloe declares. “I have to tell you what I saw back there.”
I glare at her in disbelief.
What is she saying? What is she going to tell me? The worst isn’t behind me yet?
I feel so tired all of a sudden.
I sit down in my favorite chair, the one I inherited from my dad, an old club chair that hugs you just right and that I had reupholstered. I curl my feet up under me, a steaming cup of tea in hand. Lisa is on mother hen duty and sweetened it with honey. Chloe is waiting for the ritual to end, tapping the arm of her chair to demonstrate her impatience.
She rolls her eyes as Lisa heads back to the kitchen.
“Lisa, I’m starting without you!” she threatens.
Lisa runs back in.
“I’m here, I’m here!”
“Alright, Zoe. You’re my friend. You know that, right? What I’m going to say to you... It’s not to hurt you. It’s so you know what you’re dealing with. Okay?"
I roll my eyes now, motioning for her to continue, not really having a choice in the matter. She’s already said too much for me to leave it at that.
“I went to pay our bill and I happened to be standing close to them."
Lisa and I lift a questioning eyebrow in unison.
“Alright, alright. I went and stood in an empty spot next to them on purpose. Let’s just say I used my position of not having been introduced to 00S yet to my advantage."
S for Sadistic, Swine, and So-Long!
“I think they have a serious relationship, but that she lives out of the country.”
A knife in my heart.
“He said several times that he missed her.”
And another twist, drive it home.
“And he called her ‘gorgeous’ several times.”
And now you remove the knife slowly to really feel the pain.
“Zoe? Zoe?”
I listen to this information that, unfortunately, confirms my suspicions.
My last hope, that there was an explanation for all this, has just evaporated along with my little cloud.
“Talk to us,” Lisa says.
“I feel so ridiculous. I spent the whole evening talking that asshole up! He really got me good, talking about first time this, first time that.”
I start to list the evidence.
“First time at Le Cinq.” Yeah right, probably his bimbo cafeteria!
“First time in his apartment!” I bet it’s his shag pad!
“First time in my mou...”
I stop myself before I finish the sentence, breaking down in tears.
“In your what?” Chloe asks, like it’s some sort of guessing game.
I go to get a tissue, hoping to distract them.
“Go on guys, you can go home. It’s late. I’m sorry I ruined your night,” I say, sniffling.
“You didn't ruin it! That guy did!” Lisa says, disgusted.
Their friendship makes me smile. Inside, at least.
“I hate lawyers,” I say.
“Yeah... Well, you can’t lump them all together,” she says innocently.
Chloe and I share a look, but I let it lie. I’m too upset right now.
They both give me a big hug before they go.
Once I’m alone, I lie down on my bed, my head on the pillow. I don’t even wash my face or undress. And I let the tears do their work.
I developed more feelings for this man than for all the other men I’ve been involved with combined!
ABT for Liam Desages: two weeks.
Or maybe two months?
***
"What are you doing here so early? I open today,” Victor whispers when I go to stand beside him to help him serve customers.
He furrows his brow when he sees my weary face and puffy eyes. The tried-and-true folk remedy – cotton soaked in cornflower water then put in the freezer – did not end up working, given the state of my face.
“I was antsy at home. Might as well be useful,” I explain, not even turning to look at him.
I'm exhausted. I didn’t sleep a wink, going over the events of that night again and again in my head. Liam seemed so sincere. And I felt so good around him. He really took me for a fool. When it comes to that, he's definitely the best! What he really deserves is a little strongly worded message to let him know what I really think.
I serve customers like a robot. My memory is still operational, but my smile took a one-way train to the North Pole.
It’s already ten o’clock when Victor and I finally allow ourselves a coffee break of our own.
“Richard Lecomte came in this morning. You must have passed him when you came in.”
“What’s he want now?” I ask, exasperated.
Richard Lecomte, right-hand man of Domenic Anderson, a very influential businessman across the Atlantic, apparently.
“He offered ten thousand more.”
“The store is not for sale! What language do I have to say it in for him to understand? He could offer me fifty thousand more and I wouldn’t change my mind!”
“Hey! I'm just passing along the information,” Victor says, holding his hands up in defense.
I pinch the bridge of my nose to gather my thoughts – and calm myself down. I close my eyes.
That’s what was missing, Anderson’s henchman. Just what I needed today.
“I
’m sorry, Victor. I had an awful night. And then Lecomte comes back... Dad was too attached to this place. It’s sentimental, I can’t let it go. It’s all I have left of him. There are some things that can’t be bought, that are priceless.”
“Zoe, you... Maybe you should think twice about it. It could be a fresh start for you.”
I glare at him.
He pauses for a second before going on.
“Look. I don't trust this Lecomte character or his boss Anderson. I did a little research. Anderson is buying up the whole neighborhood. Rumor has it he wants to tear it all down and build a big hotel complex, like the Las Vegas Strip.”
Seeing my skepticism, he goes on.
“You have to admit, it makes sense. There’s nothing like that in Paris. And our neighborhood would be perfect for it. It’s a crazy project, yes, but it would be new and innovative for the city. Imagine if you’re the only one who refuses to sell. You really think that will stop him?”
“What would he do? Tie me up and force me to sign?” I say, provoking him.
“Apparently he has a lot of connections in Paris. And not good ones, according to the rumors. Corruption, insider trading, and more. When Anderson wants something, he gets it, by any means necessary.”
“You’ve been watching too many movies, Victor,” I tease. “Whatever the case, I will not change my mind. This shop is not for sale. And this Anderson guy, however powerful he may be, he can’t force me.”
“I’m scared for you, Zoe. Think about the offer, please.”
“The answer is no! And it will always be no!” I’m almost yelling now, annoyed by his insistence.
He’s not going to start now too, is he?
I look up at him. His worry is more apparent now, and it calms me down.
“I’m not in danger, I promise.”
I go and kiss him affectionately on the cheek.
“But thank you for looking out for me, Victor.”
“I have orders to follow, let me remind you!” he says, smiling.
“Dad was right! With you around, nothing can happen to me.”
My smile fades as I’m once again tormented by Liam.
“Did 00S come in this morning?” I ask Victor as innocently as possible.
“Yes, and let me tell you, he was disappointed you weren’t here,” he says, teasing me.
What is he doing?! How dare he come here after his night out at the Baron with that... that... that...
Ugh!!!!!
If you only knew, Victor. He’s the one you should be protecting me from...
That scheming, manipulative creep.
It’s the first time a man has put me in such a state.
I already can't stand the raw pain anymore, the lump that keeps moving between my stomach and my throat, the tears that may begin streaming at any moment.
Do something, Zoe! You can’t torture yourself like this.
Avoidance is not my style. It never was. I need to move on. And to do that, I need to set things straight.
Look out, Liam.
9
Liam
I'm incapable of finding the words to describe how I’m feeling right now. Or I'm not allowing myself to. I don’t know anymore.
Since I met Zoe, I’ve been going down a dangerous road, ready to fall into the abysmal depths. The depths of a love addiction.
But when I let myself get carried away by the memories of the moments we’ve spent together, I feel good. Surprisingly good.
Zoe is constantly on my mind. I didn’t think I could miss a person so much. My apartment is filled with her intoxicating scent, and our first memories, so precious to me. Last night felt so lonely without her by my side. And I didn’t even get to see her at Temple Coffee this morning.
That woman, despite her small size, is blowing away everything I used to believe, all my principles and rules.
Could I actually be falling in love with her? Olivia’s convinced of it.
Olivia. She knows me better than anyone and she immediately saw something had changed in my life. She barely had a chance to ask what was new before my idiotic smile betrayed me. When I think that just a few months ago, I led her to believe that I was ready to settle down... I didn’t know what else to say to stop her from repeating her sermon on my “unacceptable Don Juan attitude.” Even she doesn’t know about Colin. No one knows, and no one needs to know.
“You can’t keep treating women this way, Liam!” she lectured.
I tried to explain that I didn't want anything serious for now, but she wouldn't leave it alone.
“I want you to be happy. And no one is happier than when they love someone and are loved back. Believe me!”
Olivia is very important to me. She’s like a sister. She's my confidant, my ally, my best friend. I think I can safely assume I'm the same to her. When I met her, she was married to Romain. I was there when she went through the hard times – divorce and professional upheaval. I found the words to reassure her, help her get her confidence back, convince her she had talent and that she needed to take risks to get what she dreamed of. With my insistence, Olivia temporarily left her son in France to go after an opportunity in New York. She worked for Ethan Parker, a brilliant businessman and a family friend. She made a name for herself as a successful lawyer and found love, with a capital L.
She and Ethan fell madly in love with each other. I should have been more selfish because now she lives in New York with Ethan and I barely see her! Yesterday we took advantage of her quick trip to France to spend a wonderful evening together, like old times. I couldn't stop hugging her, like I wanted to be sure she was actually there. Six months away is a long time!
She's here for a few more days. Maybe I should introduce her to Zoe.
“Liam? You ready? The car is waiting.”
My dad’s voice interrupts my thoughts, miles away from work. I put on my corporate lawyer face, peeling off the goofy smile for the time being.
As we walk quickly down the hall, my dad gives me the rundown for the client we're going to meet.
When we reach the entrance, a figure catches my eye. I walk over to the desk to make sure, telling my dad I’ll meet up with him in a minute.
As I walk over, the figure becomes clearer.
Zoe?
“I need to speak with him. At least call him and tell him I’m here,” she asks Sophie, her voice revealing her annoyance.
“I'll say it again: Mister Desages is not available. I will tell him you were here as soon as he gets back,” Sophie insists.
“Zoe? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"
“Liam! I... uh, I needed to talk to you for a few minutes in private, but your... secretary...” she tries to explain.
I can tell she’s upset from having been stonewalled by Sophie. I hope she doesn’t think Sophie was told to send her away. To remove any doubt, I decide to do something that would have seemed impossible just a few days prior.
“Sophie, Zoe is one of the people who can interrupt me at any time. Add her to the list,” I order.
“The list?” she repeats, in shock.
“Yes!”
There are no women on the list except my mother and Olivia.
Zoe witnesses this silent battle being played out between me and Sophie, taking the moment to gather herself.
“Can we talk in private?”
“I have to go to a meeting, my dad is waiting for me,” I explain, pointing over to him. “I'll come see you when I get back if you want.”
“No, I need to talk to you now,” she insists while pulling away, steering me away from the desk by my elbow.
I look out toward my dad. He’s talking to one of our partners. It gives me a little time. Zoe's cold, tense expression (in pain?) is starting to worry me.
“It won’t take long... You’re going to find this ridiculous, but I need to talk to you so I ca
n move on.”
“Move on?”
“I told you... What’s between us, it’s new for me. And I thought it was for you, too.”
“It is,” I confirm.
“After everything we said the other night, I thought our relationship was exclusive. So yeah, it’s true, we didn’t talk about it, but damn it Liam, it seemed obvious to me!”
“But what...”
“You really had me with your lines about all the firsts. What is that apartment of yours, really? Your seduction lair? You really had me good!” she whispers angrily.
What is she talking about?
“Zoe, what are you talking about? I have no idea what you’re trying to say!”
“I saw you last night,” she says suddenly, watching for my reaction.
“You saw me last night? That’s impossible, I was at the Baron.”
“Well, so was I, don't ya know. And if there was one thing I wasn't expecting, it was to see you in the arms of another woman! I came here to make you explain what kind of game you’ve been playing with me. And after that, you'll never hear from me again, I promise.”
“You saw me with Olivia!” I exclaim, finally realizing that this is all just a misunderstanding.
“I don’t care what the chick's name is... Wh... what’s going on?” she asks suddenly, her brow furrowed as she looks to the entrance.
I follow her gaze and realize that a crowd is forming at the entrance to the firm. I hear people yelling. A wave of panic sweeps across the lobby and words echo in my ears. When I hear “heart attack,” I instantly start to search for my dad. I run over to the person lying on the floor, surrounded by people not knowing what to do.
“Shit! Dad? Dad!”
I’m kneeling there, not knowing what to do, unable to make any decisions, like everyone else around. Except for one. Zoe is there, next to me, her hand resting in my dad’s.
“Sir? Sir! Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me!”
She repeats this a few times.
“Who’s calling the ambulance?” she asks.
“Me, I can call if you want!” I hear someone reply.
