by Lari Smythe
* * *
Except for a glimmer of High School, my first memory was the transformation from human to vampire. There were those who described the burning as acid pulsing through your veins, or a fire that moved from your extremities inward until it consumed your heart. Whatever the analogy, it was the ultimate agony, an unspoken bond that all vampires shared. I always suspected my transformation had been much less intense—don't misunderstand, it was agonizing, I just didn't remember the same desperation the others described. Even as a newborn, I was able to control the thirst for human blood, but the Faulkner's kept a vigilant watch just the same. It was there, just never beyond my control, until today. The name kept coming back, igniting the thirst—Jason.
I rolled off the carcass and clawed at the ground writhing in agony. The pain went beyond the parched thirst in my throat, it gnawed at my gut. I drew my knees to my chest. "Tink!" I cried, desperate for help. Suddenly I was on my feet, my head twitching frantically toward any sound. The me that existed in this form was no longer in control—I belonged to the monster.
The monster moved quickly, decisively. I wasn't exactly sure where I was until I passed the stone, fence line. There was little doubt where I was headed.
"Jason!" I screamed in desperation, doubling over in a different kind of pain. I rolled, and when my feet were back under me, I had regained enough control to change direction. My pace quickened, faster than I'd ever run, speed beyond my control and my pace became erratic. Under normal circumstances, I could easily maneuver through the forest's dense underbrush, but now I crashed through low-hanging branches that quickly shred my favorite black, velour top. It wasn't long before they began to tear my jeans. The agonizing run—now almost a stagger—continued for more than an hour until I could no longer fight the raging pain. I listed to the right, smashing though a mature pine that instantly snapped and thundered to the forest floor. I rolled, tearing a rut through the underbrush until I came to an abrupt halt in a tangle of vines and roots. The convulsions were agonizing. I thrashed at the ground, the vines, and then curled into a fetal position only to begin thrashing again.
Jason! Jason! Two opposing emotions demanded satisfaction, each unyielding. The torture continued through the night, but by morning, diminished to no more than a feeble twitching. One might suspect exhaustion, but that was impossible. If ever a vampire could cry, I was crying, tearlessly crying. There was no escape. Kill him. Save him. That's all there was.
The morning breeze brought an unfamiliar scent. It was distant, maybe three miles, definitely animal, but more powerful than a deer or even the occasional bear I was accustom to hunting. I struggled to resist, afraid if I gave in, the monster would regain control, but I was on my feet, moving toward it. As the scent became stronger, my pace quickened. Up ahead the forest lightened, and lying on a sun drenched rock, a mountain lion. I was in full stride now, my full attention on the target.
The big cat turned and sprang as I dove head long, burying my teeth deep into its throat. Her claws harmlessly ripped across my back. We rolled once, then plunged off the narrow ledge where she'd been perched. We hit the rubble at the base of the cliff with a deafening crash, finally coming to rest at the edge of the forest. The cat's blood was sweeter, more powerful—I couldn't get enough. When there was no more, I rolled off of her onto my back.
"Oh my God!" someone yelled followed by a blood curdling scream.
I opened my eyes and above me, two climbers hung precariously, clinging to their ropes—we must have fallen right past them. I stopped breathing and looked to the tree tops. The wind was blowing from behind me, up the cliff. I would not get their scent.
The female screamed again, her companion quickly moving to wrap her in his arms. I remained motionless, unsure if they could see me. Then a familiar flash of recognition as I began to see the jagged mountain tops I'd drawn in Art class. What is it about these mountains? Why do they seem so familiar? Above me the climbers began to rappel. With a single sense of purpose, I darted into the woods, not stopping until I'd put five miles behind me. I collapsed in a clearing bordered on one side by a small stream.
I was gorged, having consumed more blood in the last thirty-six hours than I normally did in a week, yet the burn was still there. I crawled to the edge of the stream and pushed up on my arms. The calm water of a small eddy reflected the grotesque face of my monster. The ringlets of my hair were wild and tangled, littered with twigs and debris. My lipstick was smeared in a hideous grin, stained with the blood of recent kills. Smeared mascara surrounded my eyes that, even after three kills, were still black as pitch. Deep inside a small voice cried—Jason, and the tightness in my chest turned to a flutter, but it was quickly answered by a growl that boiled up in my throat. I flopped down on the muddy bank, letting the rippling water splash over my hands in a soothing, rhythmic distraction. I saw and felt nothing else—there was just the gurgling water.
Night came. The green canopy lightened with another day, then slowly darkened to night again—I hadn't moved, maybe this was my eternity, trapped between monster and humanity.
The dawn of the third day in my self-inflicted exile came with a new, disturbing scent—there were two of them, vampires. I remained motionless unwilling to test my control, but the distraction had already taken me away from the water's serenity. In the distance, I could hear them closing. They were definitely headed toward me, but at a cautious pace. Were they hunting? Did they think I was an injured backpacker—easy prey? Their scent—one male, one female—was almost familiar, but I couldn't place it. The image of the mountains, my mountains, popped into my head. I focused all my attention on the bubbling water and the image—the vampires were on the edge of the clearing now.
"Izzy?" The voice was feminine, soft, strained, I knew this voice. She took a step forward.
"Be careful," the male warned.
"Izzy?" she repeated.
Suddenly I was in a different place. My head spun in a flurry of unfamiliar images that flew past too quickly for me to retain. I was wet, in excruciating pain, human pain. Massive dark trees laden with thick, green moss bordered a dark creek. Beneath a crumbled hulk of twisted metal, an unnatural, incandescent glow lit the pebbled bottom, strewn with shards of glass. At the edge of the light, a vein of fresh blood wove its way through the rocks and glass, only to vanish in the swift current.
"Jess?" A pained yet sweet voice gasped in disbelief from somewhere in the darkness. Slowly, the faint outline of the most beautiful face I'd ever seen appeared from between two trees. "It is you," she whispered in anguish.
A cough gurgled from behind me and the vein of blood grew broader. "Save her—for me." The voice was weak, desperate, but somehow familiar.
Agony distorted the angel's eyes as she started to back away.
"Please, I know you can—" a choked gasp stole her voice, "Izzy's all I have." An arm reached toward her but splashed lifelessly into the water.
"Izzy?" The angelic face moved closer.
"Izzy?" Someone's hand gently touched my shoulder.
The image vanished with a jolt. I clutched a rock on the bank of the creek and launched myself through the water, sliding up the far bank to the base of a fallen tree. The two vampires stepped back as I turned to face them, cowering in the muck. I was confused, somewhere between the dream and the two intruders.
"Jess?" I mumbled.
They exchanged a worried glance. The male had a firm grip on the female's shoulder, but she knelt down and cautiously extended her hand toward me. "Izzy, it's me."
I recoiled back against the fallen tree, grasping at the fleeting dream, but it was too late. "Melanie? Nathan?" I puzzled, staring up into their faces.
"Yes," Melanie replied, relief obvious in her voice.
Nathan started to step between us, a defensive posture, but she put her arm out to stop him. His muscles tensed in opposition, but he conceded.
"It's been months, what are you doing way out here?"
"I think something happe
ned."
"You think?" Nathan questioned.
"How long—I mean what day is it?"
"I'm not sure," Melanie said, "we don't really keep track."
"Yeah, sure, right, I remember." I tried to recall what happened, why I was here, but my mind was mush. "The others, are they alright?"
"Yes, everyone's fine. We've been helping them look for you. Elizabeth's been worried sick, and Tink, he's been saying it's all his fault."
"Then they know?"
Nathan's fingers tightened on Melanie's shoulder.
Melanie avoided the question with one of her own. "Are you alright?"
"I'm not sure." I slowly got up and stepped across the creek and then knelt down in front of her. "I've missed you, both of you." I glanced up at Nathan.
Melanie and Nathan were part of Benjamin and Elizabeth's family, my family, but chose to spend most of their time alone—well just the two of them. They were the most recent to bond. The companionship of familiar faces helped push my demon further from my thoughts. I felt cautiously in control again, and then I realized what I must look like.
"Our cabin is just over the next ridge," Melanie said, "I'm sure I have something you can wear." She pointed to her left. "There's a deep pool about half a mile up stream, you can bathe there." She paused, then added, "Do you want me to stay with you?"
I got up slowly, still aware of Nathan's uneasiness. "No, that's not necessary."
Melanie stood and Nathan slipped his arm around her waist. "We'll see you at the cabin then, we can catch up."
"I'd like that."
They retreated a few steps before turning and disappearing into the woods. I mentally marked their direction although I could have just as easily followed their scent. It was still early and the sun was shining through the edge of the forest, lighting the underside of the canopy in a soft, green glow that would have calmed the wildest beast. I followed the stream, effortlessly weaving and dodging around the fallen trees that lined the bank. Around the bend, I could hear the splash of a small waterfall. I pushed through a thicket and stepped into the most tranquil place I'd ever been.
In front of me, a sheer, rock face, covered in fine, velvet moss framed a trickle of water that seeped down through a crevice. About ten feet from the stream the water pooled in a rock out-cropping that spilled over into the deep pool below. On the far bank, waves gently licked the wet, pastel stones. Directly in front of me, a narrow, sandy beach added an inviting entrance. The entire pool was framed with lush ferns. I stepped into the soft sand and stared down into the quiet water. The monster stared back from my reflection, but it was only on the outside now. I didn't hesitate, slipped off my shredded clothes and sank down into the cool water. The water had a soothing, floral aroma that I couldn't quite identify, but it didn't matter. With one stroke, I was under the waterfall. I tilted my head back, letting the force of the water rinse away the blood and makeup. I lifted my head and the cool water ran though my hair. A breeze disturbed the canopy and a beam of sunlight found its way through to glisten off my skin in sparkling facets of color. I was finally at peace. I could think rationally for the first time in three days and the first thing I thought of was Jason. For a moment, I almost expected an adverse reaction, but here—in this place I was completely under control. Maybe there was still hope.
My clothes were hopelessly beyond repair, but I rinsed out what was left of my jeans and tore off the shredded legs. I tied a piece of what had been my favorite top around my breasts for Nathan's sake and used another small strip to tie my hair back in a ponytail. I was quite a sight, my white, marble skin wrapped in rags. I took a moment to savor the tranquility that now controlled me—secretly hoping I could store it up, before heading toward the cabin.
