My heart raced as I stepped out of my car. She leaned in to kiss me, and I let her. I was here to break up with her, yet all I wanted to do was explore every inch of that body with my hands, my mouth, and my tongue. I laughed. Oh, the irony.
God, all I could smell was the sweet floral scent of her perfume. And the freshness of her skin. She waited for me to say something, her brow furrowing as she studied my face. She knew something was wrong.
“Wrenn. I can’t do this to you. We need to stop this before it goes any further.” There, I said it. Did I feel any better?
No. I felt like shit.
She stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest, her eyes widening. She hadn’t been expecting me to say that.
“What do you mean, we can’t?” she said evenly. “You didn’t seem to have any problem with it the last few weeks.” She was hurt. I could see it in her eyes. And I didn’t blame her. It had come out of nowhere.
“I’m sorry. This . . . I can’t do this.” I so badly wanted to elaborate, but I couldn’t.
What could I tell her? That I was so close to falling in love with her? That the last thing on my mind was the fact she was my student? I was hiding something, something so potentially life-changing—for both of us. Something she deserved to know.
But how could I tell her? How could I be responsible for breaking her heart like that? I’d rather end this now and have her think I was a weak piece of shit.
“I don’t care that you’re my teacher, Dalton. I don’t give a damn about that.” She was angry now. Her green eyes flashed as she stared me down. So much fire and passion for such a quiet girl. She knew what she wanted, and she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.
“But I do,” I fibbed. “My career, Wrenn. I’ve worked too hard to get where I am to ruin it all on . . . ” My voice trailed off. The only way to do this was to convince her my career meant more to me than she did.
“On me?” she supplied. Her face hardened. “I get it. You don’t want to throw your career away on some fling, right? I was just some cheap entertainment to get you through the year?” She glared at me, demanding an answer that I wouldn’t give her. She nodded. “I’m surprised you didn’t fuck me while you had the chance,” she taunted.
I looked away. I hated seeing her this angry. “Wrenn—”
“Don’t bother,” she interrupted. “Obviously we’re not on the same page. We never were.”
She ran to her car and jumped in, roaring out of the parking lot. I threw my arms back behind my head, angry with myself. Angry with my father. Angry at the whole fucking useless world.
Wrenn was unlike any woman I’d ever met—so feisty and sure of herself. But she wasn’t a woman, she was still a girl. Her being eighteen didn’t make this right. She’d been through more heartache than most people go through in their whole lives, and she’d dealt with it with such maturity and dignity. But none of that changed the fact that I couldn’t be with her—if anything, it magnified that fact.
It just wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair to her.
She was angry now, but I knew that would melt away. And once it did, she wouldn’t give in without a fight. Today I had won. But if she pushed me, I’d break; and when that happened, nothing would keep me from her.
God, I hope she respects my decision.
Chapter Sixteen
Wrenn
I was pissed.
Who was he to call all the shots? So he was scared. Big fucking deal. Grow a pair and deal with it. I’d coped with more in the last year than he ever would. I didn’t need him protecting me.
The way I felt about him had gone beyond some schoolgirl crush. We connected on so many levels. But he just couldn’t get past the fact that he was my teacher.
I’ve lost too much to let him slip away. I won’t let that happen. I refuse to.
I spent the rest of Sunday watching DVDs and glancing at my phone, hoping he would call or text—anything—to tell me he had changed his mind. Layna had commented on my foul mood, which I had chalked up to my period. That stopped any further questions. Possibly the only time my period had ever come in handy.
I hated the way I was feeling. He made me feel so vulnerable, so open to getting hurt. I hated that, and right now, I hated him. I considered faking being sick so I didn’t have to see him the next day, but part of me wanted to be there. I wanted to rub in his face what he was missing.
My phone beeped and I lunged at it, sighing when I saw it was only Kass. I read her message.
I’m guessing your weekend was as fun as mine *wink, wink*
I groaned and replied.
Only if you were at the dentist having teeth pulled. He ended it.
It took her less than ten seconds to call me.
“He what?” she yelled.
I held the phone away from my ear. “Ended. Finished. Over. Done,” I mumbled, digging a piece of lint out from under my nail. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about it, not even with her.
“Oh, Wrenn. Why? What happened?”
“I don’t know. He just said it was too much and he couldn’t do it anymore,” I mimicked. I heard the downstairs door slam shut. “Look, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Someone is home.”
I shuffled downstairs and saw Dan with his bike in the middle of the living room, changing the tube in the tire. He looked up and smiled as I walked in and slumped on the sofa.
“Hey kiddo.”
I watched as he levered the tire off the wheel. “Layna would kill you if she knew you were doing this inside,” I commented sullenly.
“That’s why we’re not going to tell her.” He smirked, winking at me.
I smiled in spite of my mood, throwing my legs over the arm of the chair.
“You okay, Wrenn? You seem really off.”
“I’ll be fine. Just having a bad day, I guess.”
He nodded and set down his tools. He walked over and joined me on the sofa. “Your aunt loves having you here with us. I do too,” Dan said.
I nodded. They hadn’t once made me feel unwelcome, and I appreciated that.
“You know, Layna always wanted children. I think that’s part of why she is so passionate about her job.”
“What happened?” I asked shyly. I’d always gotten along well with Dan, but these heart-to-hearts were not common. I felt in the way around him. Like I had invaded their life. Which, in a way, I had.
“Life happened. We left it too late to start trying, and by the time we found out she would never carry a child naturally, it was too late. We tried IVF. She fell pregnant twice, and lost the baby in the first trimester with both pregnancies.” He smiled at me. “All I’m saying is, don’t for a second underestimate how much that woman—and I—love you.”
I nodded, feeling the tiniest bit better. I’d never doubted that they loved me, but I had wondered what would have happened if there had been other people who could have taken care of me.
“Thanks, Dan. I love you guys too. And I’m sorry if I don’t tell you enough, but I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me.”
He reached over and squeezed my hand. “You’re a good kid. If you ever need to talk, I’m here, okay?”
I nodded, smiling at him.
***
At six, I made myself a sandwich and went to bed, claiming I wasn’t feeling very well. I don’t think either Layna or Dan believed me, but they let me go. I stripped down, pulled on my pajamas, and climbed under the covers, snuggling up to my pillow.
I thought about Dan. Had he told Layna about our talk? Probably. In fact, I hoped he had. I probably didn’t express myself very well to them, and I should. I’d never been shy about telling my family I loved them, why did I find it so hard to show my aunt and uncle? Maybe I was afraid of losing them too?
That was a big part of it.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t let myself feel close to people, but more that I was afraid of telling them how I felt, because in the past, everyone I had loved had left me. It was like my mind c
ontradicted my heart. Yes, you can love that person, but be careful how much emotion you show. Or maybe I have no idea why I am the way I am.
The latter was much more likely.
I lay in bed, thinking about how different everything was now, from then. I hated that my family had been taken away from me, but there was nothing I could do to change that. With Dalton, I could. I could sit back and accept that this was what he thought was best, or I could fight for what I wanted, for once.
Chapter Seventeen
Dalton
I was dreading walking into that classroom. I had no idea how I was going to get through the next forty minutes. Talk about awkward. This situation topped that list.
I finished my coffee in the teacher’s lounge and rinsed out my mug, well aware the bell was about to sound. I was procrastinating, avoiding the impending situation for as long as I possibly could.
Wrenn had been really angry yesterday. It had crossed my mind that she might turn me in, but I ruled out the thought as quickly as it had appeared. She wouldn’t do that, no matter how angry she felt.
Mark was next to me, talking about something. I nodded occasionally, pretending to listen, when in reality I had no idea what he was even saying. He didn’t seem to notice.
“Good, we will see you tonight at eight, then. You’ll like her, trust me.”
My head snapped up as I realized I might’ve agreed to something I didn’t want to. That last comment sounded an awful lot like I’d just agreed to a date.
“What?” I asked
“Julie. She’s cute and really hot. I’m sure you two will hit it off.” Mark waved at me as he walked off. I’d have to talk to him at lunch.
Fucking great.
***
The walk down the hall to my room felt like the longest of my life. I could see the students grouped outside the door, waiting for me. I reached the door and unlocked it. Girls whispered and giggled, but all I could focus on was her. Even without looking, I knew she was staring at me. I swallowed, my throat as rough as sandpaper.
The door swung open. I stood back, letting the students file in first. I met Wrenn’s gaze as she and Kass walked past me. Her eyes were narrowed. She was still angry. I hated seeing her angry, but that passion hit something deep inside me, making me feel much more than I was ready to admit. I shut the door and walked over to my desk.
“Okay. Quiz time. Books away, just a pen out, please.”
Groans filled the room, but I didn’t care. Today, I wanted the least interaction with this class I could have. I handed out the quiz sheets and then sat back down at my desk, opening my laptop.
I scrolled through page after page, uninterested in everything. Clicking on my personal email, I saw I had a new message. It was from her. My hands shook as I clicked on Open. God, I felt so sneaky. I may as well have been looking at porn.
Dalton,
I understand why you ended things, but I want you to know I don’t give up that easily. You know I’ve been through a lot, and I think you think you’re sparing me more pain or whatever, but in reality all you’re doing is hurting me.
My feelings for you aren’t superficial. They’re not going to go away because you decide what we’re doing is wrong. Nor are your feelings for me.
Can we talk about this?
W xx
I glanced up, breathing heavily. She was staring at me, like she knew I was reading her email. I looked away. I was so stupid to have encouraged her feelings. It would serve me right if this blew up in my face.
I moved my fingers across the mouse pad and pressed delete on the email. I closed my laptop and pulled out a handful of half-graded papers, deciding that a boring, repetitive task was exactly what I needed right now.
The rest of the hour went quickly, and quietly. I told the students they could leave when they handed in their sheet. Before long, the room was empty—except for myself, and Wrenn.
I knew what she was doing. She should have blitzed through this. She wanted to get me alone. She wanted to test my resolve.
I stood up and cleared my throat. “Time’s up.”
She grabbed her bag and walked up to the desk, sliding the sheet across, her eyes not leaving mine. “Can we talk?” she asked me, sitting on the edge of my desk, her skirt riding up her creamy white thighs.
I glanced at the door. Thank God it was shut. If she tried to kiss me right now, I probably wouldn’t resist. Hell, if she tried to fuck me right here on the desk I didn’t think I could resist.
“Not here, Wrenn,” I said, keeping my distance. If I got too close, I didn’t trust myself. I wanted her that badly.
“Then where? Tonight? Meet me.”
“I can’t. I have a meeting,” I lied. I gathered up my things and walked over to the door. “I’m sorry, Wrenn.”
She held my gaze and then nodded, her lips pressed tightly together. “You know, in three weeks, you won’t be my teacher anymore,” she muttered sullenly. And just like that, she’d reverted back to the eighteen-year-old child she was.
“No, but I still would have been someone you trusted who abused his power. And think about it. How’s it going to look? That we ‘suddenly’ decide to date as soon as my contract is over? Come on, Wrenn. Nobody is stupid enough to believe that bullshit.” I was being harsh, but she just wasn’t getting it.
“I don’t give a damn what everyone thinks,” she retorted, her voice rising.
“Really? Not even your aunt?”
She shut her mouth and glared at me for a moment.
“I have to go, Wrenn. This is for the best. You’ll see.”
***
Throwing myself down on the sofa, I groaned as I realized I’d forgotten to talk to Mark about canceling the “date.” I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall above the fridge; it was already past seven.
Too late now.
I didn’t have a choice. Getting up, I threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt, not taking too much care in my appearance. A quick run though my hair with my fingers and I was done. Grabbing my keys, I headed for my car, already wanting the night to be over.
***
Mark’s text said to meet them outside the steakhouse in town. It was pretty busy for a Monday night. The place was as corny as you could get, with stuffed animal heads adorning the walls and the waitresses dressed up as cowgirls, but they apparently did the best steak in the county. I spotted Mark and Shelly at a booth, with them an attractive blonde woman who looked around my age.
“Hi guys,” I said, sliding into the booth next to the woman who could only be Julie. She gave me a smile. She was very pretty. Her blonde hair fell down her back. She wore a black pleated skirt and an aqua-colored sweater that looked striking against her porcelain white skin.
“Julie, this is Dalton. Dalton, Julie,” Mark introduced us.
“Nice to meet you,” I murmured, taking her outstretched hand. She smiled at me. “And lovely to see you again, Shelly.”
Shelly smiled at me, her hand casually draped over Mark’s.
“So, you’re a teacher too?” Julie asked.
I nodded.
“I don’t know how you handle all the hormones,” she chuckled. “And being so attractive, I bet all your students have crushes on you.”
“Maybe one or two,” I admitted awkwardly, trying to laugh off the uncomfortable weight sitting on my chest.
“I don’t know what’s so special about him,” grumbled Mark, which earned him a smack across the ear from Shelly. “What?” he protested.
Mark was right: Julie was funny, friendly, and very attractive. She would have been perfect if I was interested in dating.
And if I wasn’t already in love with someone else.
Holy shit, where did that come from? I was in love with her? Not that it changed anything. We couldn’t happen. Not now, not in a month. Not ever.
***
I went through the motions of the date, from pretending to listen to asking questions to laughing when she made a joke. At one point
I saw Mark and Shelly exchange a look, one that read ‘this is going really well!’
By that point I was already planning on what I’d say to Mark. I’d just come out of a long-term relationship. She’d hurt me pretty bad, and I wasn’t ready to move on…Blah, blah, blah.
Glancing at my watch, I was surprised to see it was only eight. Fuck. It felt like I’d been sitting here for hours. My mind drifted to Wrenn. What was she doing right now? Probably lying down on the sofa watching a horror movie. I smiled at the thought. That was exactly where I’d rather be right now; curled up with Wrenn, watching movies while moving her hair aside and kissing her neck.
Why did my head always wander back to her?
Chapter Eighteen
Wrenn
“Come on, it’ll do you good.” Kass grabbed hold of my arm and dragged me inside the restaurant. The place was packed. The last thing I felt like doing was going out, but Kass had insisted. I stood next to her while she organized a table for us. I scanned the faces, hoping there wasn’t anyone from school there. That was all this day needed. Then I spotted him.
You’ve got to be kidding me. He was on a fucking date. I studied the blonde, picking out every negative thing I could find about her, which didn’t amount to much. She was pretty, well-dressed, and she laughed a lot. I hated her already.
“I can’t be here,” I mumbled to Kass, trying to push my way past her. She followed my gaze, her eyes nearly popping out of her head. She stopped me as I went to walk out.
“No,” she said, a smile twitching on her lips. “I have an idea.” She whipped out her phone and sent a text. “Can you make that a table for four please? Preferably over there.” She pointed in the direction of Dalton.
What the hell was she doing? My expression must have been uneasy, because she touched my arm, her eyes softening.
“Trust me,” she murmured.
We waited ten minutes—ten extremely awkward and anxiety filled minutes—before we were led to a table…right next to Dalton’s. Kass gripped my arm, nudging me to move. My feet finally found their place. I followed Kass, not letting myself look in his direction.
Always You Page 8
