by Maisey Yates
Joshua’s face looked as though it had been cast in stone. “I’m not sure if I would be a good father, Danielle. I was going to be a father, and so I was going to figure it out—how to do that, how to be that. I suppose I can apply that same intent here. I can’t guarantee that I’ll be the best, but I’ll try. And you’re right. I have my family to back me up. And he has you.”
That was it.
That was the reason she couldn’t say no. Because if she walked away from Joshua now, Riley would have her. Only her. She loved him, but she was just one person. If she stayed here with Joshua, Riley would have grandparents. Aunts and uncles. Family. People who knew how to be a family. She was doing the very best she could, but her idea of family was somewhere between cold neglectful nightmare and a TV sitcom.
The Grayson family knew—Joshua knew—what it meant to be a family. If she said yes, she could give that to Riley.
She swallowed again, trying to alleviate the scratchy feeling in her throat.
“I guess... I guess I can’t really say no to that.” She straightened, still naked, and not even a little bit embarrassed. There were bigger things going on here than the fact that he could see her breasts. “Okay, Joshua. I’ll marry you.”
Nine
The biggest problem with this sudden change in plan was the fact that Joshua had deliberately set out to make his family dislike Danielle. And now he was marrying her for real.
Of course, the flaw in his original plan was that Danielle hadn’t been roundly hated by his family. They’d distrusted the whole situation, certainly, but his family was simply too fair, too nice to hate her.
Still, guilt clutched at him, and he knew he was going to have to do something to fix this. Which was why he found himself down at the Gray Bear Construction office rather than working from home. Because he knew Faith and Isaiah would be in, and he needed to have a talk with his siblings.
The office was a newly constructed building fashioned to look like a log cabin. It was down at the edge of town, by where Rona’s diner used to be, a former greasy spoon that had been transformed into a series of smaller, hipper shops that were more in line with the interests of Copper Ridge’s tourists.
It was a great office space with a prime view of the ocean, but still, Joshua typically preferred to work in the privacy of his own home, secluded in the mountains.
Isaiah did too, which was why it was notable that his brother was in the office today, but he’d had a meeting of some kind, so he’d put on a decent shirt and a pair of nice jeans and gotten his ass out of his hermitage.
Faith, being the bright, sharp creature she was, always came into the office, always dressed in some variation of her personal uniform. Black pants and a black top—a sweater today because of the chilly weather.
“What are you doing here?” Faith asked, her expression scrutinizing.
“I came here to talk to you,” he said.
“I’ll make coffee.” Joshua turned and saw Poppy standing there. Strange, he hadn’t noticed. But then, Poppy usually stayed in the background. He couldn’t remember running the business without her, but like useful office supplies, you really only noticed them when they didn’t work. And Poppy always worked.
“Thanks, Poppy,” Faith said.
Isaiah folded his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. “What’s up?”
“I’m getting married in two weeks.”
Faith made a scoffing sound. “To that child you’re dating?”
“She’s your age,” he said. “And yes. Just like I said I was.”
“Which begs the question,” Isaiah said. “Why are you telling us again?”
“Because. The first time I was lying. Dad put that ad in the paper trying to find a wife for me, and I selected Danielle in order to teach him a lesson. The joke’s on me it turns out.” Damn was it ever.
“Good God, Joshua. You’re such an ass,” Faith said, leaning against the wall, her arms folded, mirroring Isaiah’s stance. “I knew something was up, but of all the things I suspected, you tricking our mother and father was not one of them.”
“What did you suspect?”
“That you were thinking with your... Well. And now I’m back to that conclusion. Because why are you marrying her?”
“I care about her. And believe me when I say she’s had it rough.”
“You’ve slept with her?” This question came from Isaiah, and there was absolutely no tact in it. But then, Isaiah himself possessed absolutely no tact. Which was why he handled money and not people.
“Yes,” Joshua said.
“She must be good. But I’m not sure that’s going to convince either of us you’re thinking with your big brain.” His brother stood up, not unfolding his arms.
“Well, you’re an asshole,” Joshua returned. “The sex has nothing to do with it. I can get sex whenever I want.”
Faith made a hissing sound. He tossed his younger sister a glance. “You can stop hissing and settle down,” he said to her. “You were the one who brought sex into it, I’m just clarifying. You know what I went through with Shannon, what I put Shannon through. If I send Danielle and her baby back out into the world and something happens to them, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Well, Joshua, that kind of implies you aren’t already living in a perpetual state of self-flagellation,” Faith said.
“Do you want to see if it can get worse?”
She shook her head. “No, but marrying some random woman you found through an ad seems like an extreme way to go about searching for atonement. Can’t you do some Hail Marys or something?”
“If it were that simple, I would have done it a long time ago.” He took a deep breath. “I’m not going to tell Mom and Dad the whole story. But I’m telling you because I need you to be nice about Danielle. However it looked when I brought her by to introduce her to the family...I threw her under the bus, and now I want to drag her back out from under it.”
Isaiah shook his head. “You’re a contrary son of a bitch.”
“Well, usually that’s your function. I figured it was my turn.”
The door to the office opened and in walked their business partner, Jonathan Bear, who ran the construction side of the firm. He looked around the room, clearly confused by the fact that they were all in residence. “Is there a meeting I didn’t know about?”
“Joshua is getting married,” Faith said, looking sullen.
“Congratulations,” Jonathan said, smiling, which was unusual for the other man, who was typically pretty taciturn. “I can highly recommend it.”
Jonathan had married the pastor’s daughter, Hayley Thompson, in a small ceremony recently.
In the past, Jonathan had walked around like he had his own personal storm cloud overhead, and since meeting Hayley, he had most definitely changed. Maybe there was something to that whole marriage thing. Maybe Joshua’s idea of atonement wasn’t as outrageous as it might have initially seemed.
“There,” Joshua said. “Jonathan recommends it. So you two can stop looking at me suspiciously.”
Jonathan shrugged and walked through the main area and into the back, toward his office, leaving Joshua alone with his siblings.
Faith tucked her hair behind her ear. “Honestly, whatever you need, whatever you want, I’ll help. But I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“And I appreciate that,” he said. “But the thing is, you can only get hurt if there’s love involved. I don’t love her.”
Faith looked wounded by that. “Then what’s the point? I’m not trying to argue. I just don’t understand.”
“Love is not the be-all and end-all, Faith. Sometimes just committing to taking care of somebody else is enough. I loved Shannon, but I still didn’t do the right thing for her. I’m older now. And I know what’s important. I’m going to keep Danielle safe. I’m going to kee
p Riley safe. What’s more important than that?” He shook his head. “I’m sure Shannon would have rather had that than any expression of love.”
“Fine,” she said. “I support you. I’m in.”
“So you aren’t going to be a persnickety brat?”
A small smile quirked her lips upward. “I didn’t say that. I said I would support you. But as a younger sister, I feel the need to remind you that being a persnickety brat is sometimes part of my support.”
He shot Isaiah a baleful look. “I suppose you’re still going to be an asshole?”
“Obviously.”
Joshua smiled then. Because that was the best he was going to get from his siblings. But it was a step toward making sure Danielle felt like she had a place in the family, rather than feeling like an outsider.
And if he wanted that with an intensity that wasn’t strictly normal or healthy, he would ignore that. He had never pretended to be normal or healthy. He wasn’t going to start now.
* * *
Danielle was getting fluttery waiting for Joshua to come home. The anticipation was a strange feeling. It had been a long time since she’d looked forward to someone coming home. She remembered being young, when it was hard to be alone. But she hadn’t exactly wished for her mother to come home, because she knew that when her mother arrived, she would be drunk. And Danielle would be tasked with managing her in some way.
That was the story of her life. Not being alone meant taking care of somebody. Being alone meant isolation, but at least she had time to herself.
But Joshua wasn’t like that. Being with him didn’t mean she had to manage him.
She thought of their time together in the barn, and the memory made her shiver. She had gone to bed in her own room last night, and he hadn’t made any move toward her since his proposal. She had a feeling his hesitation had something to do with her inexperience.
But she was ready for him again. Ready for more.
She shook her hands out, feeling jittery. And a little scared.
It was so easy to want him. To dream about him coming home, how she would embrace him, kiss him. And maybe even learn to cook, so she could make him dinner. Learn to do something other than warm up Pop-Tarts.
Although, he liked Pop-Tarts, and so did she.
Maybe they should have Pop-Tarts at their wedding. That was the kind of thing couples did. Incorporate the cute foundations of their relationships into their wedding ceremonies.
She made a small sound that was halfway between a whimper and a growl. She was getting loopy about him. About a guy. Which she had promised herself she would never do. But it was hard not to get loopy. He had offered her support, a family for Riley, a house to live in. He had become her lover, and then he had asked to become her husband.
And in those few short moments, her entire vision for the rest of her life had changed. It had become something so much warmer, so much more secure than she had ever imagined it could be. She just wasn’t strong enough to reject that vision.
Honestly, she didn’t know a woman who would be strong enough. Joshua was hot. And he was nice. Well, sometimes he was kind of a jerk, but mostly, at his core, he was nice and he had wonderful taste in breakfast food.
That seemed like as good a foundation for a marriage as any.
She heard the front door open and shut, and as it slammed, her heart lurched against her breastbone.
Joshua walked in looking so intensely handsome in a light blue button-up shirt, the sleeves pushed up his arms, that she wanted to swoon for the first time in her entire life.
“Do you think they can make a wedding cake out of Pop-Tarts?” She didn’t know why that was the first thing that came out of her mouth. Probably, it would have been better if she had said something about how she couldn’t wait to tear his clothes off.
But no. She had led with toaster pastry.
“I don’t know. But we’re getting married in two weeks, so if you can stack Pop-Tarts and call them a cake, I suppose it might save time and money.”
“I could probably do that. I promise that’s not all I thought about today, but for some reason it’s what came out of my mouth.”
“How about I keep your mouth busy for a while,” he said, his blue gaze getting sharp. He crossed the space between them, wrapping his arm around her waist and drawing her against him. And then he kissed her.
It was so deep, so warm, and she felt so...sheltered. Enveloped completely in his arms, in his strength. Who cared if she was lost in a fantasy right now? It would be the first time. She had never had the luxury of dreaming about men like him, or passion this intense.
It seemed right, only fair, that she have the fantasy. If only for a while. To have a moment where she actually dreamed about a wedding with cake. Where she fantasized about a man walking in the door and kissing her like this, wanting her like this.
“Is Janine here?” he asked, breaking the kiss just long enough to pose the question.
“No,” she said, barely managing to answer before he slammed his lips back down on hers.
Then she found herself being lifted and carried from the entryway into the living room, deposited on the couch. And somehow, as he set her down, he managed to raise her shirt up over her head.
She stared at him, dazed, while he divested himself of his own shirt. “You’re very good at this,” she said. “I assume you’ve had a lot of practice?”
He lifted an eyebrow, his hands going to his belt buckle. “Is this a conversation you want to have?”
She felt...bemused rather than jealous. “I don’t know. I’m just curious.”
“I got into a lot of trouble when I was a teenager. I think I mentioned the incident with my virginity in the woods.”
She nodded. “You did. And since I lost my virginity in a barn, I suppose I have to reserve judgment.”
“Probably. Then I moved to Seattle. And I was even worse, because suddenly I was surrounded by women I hadn’t known my whole life.”
Danielle nodded gravely. “I can see how that would be an issue.”
He smiled. Then finished undoing his belt, button and zipper before shoving his pants down to the floor. He stood in front of her naked, aroused and beautiful.
“Then I got myself into a long-term relationship, and it turns out I’m good at that. Well, at the being faithful part.”
“That’s a relief.”
“In terms of promiscuity, though, my behavior has been somewhat appalling for the past five years. I have picked up a particular set of skills.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I suppose that’s something.”
“You asked.”
She straightened. “And I wanted to know.”
He reached behind her back, undoing her bra, pulling it off and throwing it somewhere behind him. “Well, now you do.” He pressed his hands against the back of the couch, bracketing her in. “You still want to marry me?”
“I had a very tempting proposal from the UPS man today. He asked me to sign for a package. So I guess you could say it’s getting kind of serious.”
“I don’t think the UPS man makes you feel like this.” He captured her mouth with his, and she found herself being pressed into the cushions, sliding to the side, until he’d maneuvered her so they were both lying flat on the couch.
He wrapped his fingers around her wrists, lifting them up over her head as he bent to kiss her neck, her collarbone, to draw one nipple inside his mouth.
She bucked against him, and he shifted, pushing his hand beneath her jeans, under the fabric of her panties, discovering just how wet and ready she was for him.
She rolled her hips upward, moving in time with the rhythm of his strokes, lights beginning to flash behind her eyelids, orgasm barreling down on her at an embarrassingly quick rate.
Danielle sucked in a deep breath, trying her best to ho
ld her climax at bay. Because how embarrassing would it be to come from a kiss? A brief bit of attention to her breast and a quick stroke between the legs?
But then she opened her eyes and met his gaze. His lips curved into a wicked smile as he turned his wrist, sliding one finger deep inside her as he flicked his thumb over her clit.
All she could do then was hold on tight and ride out the explosion. He never looked away from her, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t look away from him.
It felt too intense, too raw and much too intimate.
But she was trapped in it, drowning in it, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She just had to surrender.
While she was still recovering from her orgasm, Joshua made quick work of her jeans, flinging them in the same direction her bra had gone.
Then, still looking right at her, he stroked her, over the thin fabric of her panties, the tease against her overly sensitized skin almost too much to handle.
Then he traced the edge of the fabric at the crease of her thigh, dipping one finger beneath her underwear, touching slick flesh.
He hooked his finger around the fabric, pulling her panties off and casting them aside. And here she was, just as she’d been the first time, completely open and vulnerable to him. At his mercy.
It wasn’t as though she didn’t want that. There was something wonderful about it. Something incredible about the way he lavished attention on her, about being his sole focus.
But she wanted more. She wanted to be... She wanted to be equal to him in some way.
He was practiced. And he had skill. He’d had a lot of lovers. Realistically, she imagined he didn’t even know exactly how many.
She didn’t have skill. She hadn’t been tutored in the art of love by anyone. But she wanted.
If desire could equal skill, then she could rival any woman he’d ever been with. Because the depth of her need, the depth of her passion, reached places inside her she hadn’t known existed.
She pressed her hands down on the couch cushions, launching herself into a sitting position. His eyes widened, and she reveled in the fact that she had surprised him. She reached out, resting one palm against his chest, luxuriating in the feel of all that heat, that muscle, that masculine hair that tickled her sensitive skin.
