by Rachel Hauck
Lord, forgive me. I let go. You are in control and I trust you.
A slight smile lit her face as she shifted her focus, her gaze landing on Burke's face. "Yes," she said, barely above a whisper. "Yes."
***
From the moment she said yes, Burke knew they'd turned a corner. He'd been praying for weeks about how to woo Belle, the Lord constantly reminding him to love in adversity and to show mercy.
So, patiently and subtly he pursued her, making his presence known, yet careful not to overstep his bounds.
Then, in one miraculous moment, it all came together. As Burke showered and dressed for the evening, he mused on how he almost missed the ride into town with Dean.
It was a Saturday, and he'd been working with his contractor to finalize plans for remodeling his house and reviewing an architect's drawings for a new garage and barn. Dean's call came just as they concluded their business.
"Ride into town?" Burke repeated his brother's question.
"Yeah, I got to pick up supplies at Martin's. Thought you could keep me company."
He hesitated, feeling tired, looking forward to kicking back on the couch and clicking on the stereo. He'd also toyed with the idea of a work out. His basement weight room had just been completed, and he had yet to try out the new equipment. He also had planned to call Belle.
Yet, it would be good to visit with Dean. It'd been awhile, and the errand wouldn't take more than a couple of hours. "Sure," he finally agreed. That one decision changed the course of his whole evening.
He searched his closet for something to wear, deciding on a pair of navy cashmere slacks and a cream, long sleeve, collarless pullover.
He talked to the Lord as he slipped on a pair of brown suede shoes. "Father, thanks for setting this up with Belle. Please, give her peace. Give me wisdom so that I don't say or do the wrong thing. I want her to know how much I love her."
He went to the dresser and slipped on his watch. Seven forty-five.
Better get going, Benning. He snatched up his wallet and yanked his chocolate colored leather jacket from its hanger.
As he drove to the Bar J, he felt relaxed, peaceful, full of joy.
Belle opened the front door after one ring of the bell and nearly took his breath away. Her delicate smile lit the strong lines of her face and her short hair accentuated high, smooth cheeks.
"Hi," he said.
"Hi," she said, her smile fading as she surveyed his appearance. "You're dressed up."
Burke glanced down at his clothes. Dressing up for a night out had gotten to be such a habit, he didn't think about how different customs were in simple Haskell. Belle wore boots, a pair of light blue jeans and a dark red V-neck sweater.
"It's okay, I'll go change," he offered, eager to make her feel comfortable.
Belle sighed, still standing in the doorway. "This isn't going to work, Burke. We've changed too much. Look. You're ready for a night in the big city. I'm ready for a burger at Charlie's."
He encouraged her. "Nothing we can't overcome. Come on, I'll go change."
"No," she said with a wave of her hand, "you're already here. I'll change." Belle stepped aside and invited Burke in. "Where are we going anyway to dress so fancy."
He chuckled. "I hadn't really thought about it."
She paused on the bottom step. "How about Angelo's? It's a nice, dress-up kind of place."
"Perfect," he said with a nod, smiling at her. Despite her initial reaction, she seemed at ease, eager to go out with him.
She darted up the steps promising to be down in a minute. Burke found Duke in the family room, reading.
"Evening, Duke," he said, sitting on the plush sofa next to Duke's chair.
The older man set his reading aside. "So, you're taking my girl out?"
Burke nodded.
"About time. About time."
He addressed Duke with seriousness. "You know I plan to marry her."
"Do ya now?" Duke said, raising his brow.
"I don't know when, but I'd like to have your permission right now. If the chance ever presents itself, Duke, I'm asking."
"What are you going to do, carry a ring in your pocket all the time?"
The younger man smiled. "If that's what it takes."
Duke reached for his book when Belle's footsteps echoed down the stairs. "I gave you my permission once. Ain't changed my mind since then."
Burke ducked his head, touched by the fatherly love Duke continually showed him. Despite the pain he'd caused his daughter, Duke never retaliated and always welcomed him with an open heart. "I won't hurt her this time."
"I figured as much."
Belle popped her head in the doorway wearing a black ankle length dress and matching pumps. She carried a charcoal gray wool coat over her arm. "Ready, Burke?"
He stood. "You look beautiful."
She blushed and a pinkish glowed spread across her cheeks. "Thank you."
"I guess we'll see you later, Duke," Burke said, shaking his hand, his gaze lingering on the older man's face for a moment.
"See you, Daddy," Belle said, trailing Burke as he led the way to the door.
Duke bid them good night with a slight nod, a smile on his lips, a twinkle in his eye.
***
Angelo's Italian Cuisine sat on the edge of town, quaint and cozy, soft with candlelight and music.
Angelo, the broad-waisted, gregarious owner spotted them when they walked in the door. "Mr. Benning," he said, with a sweeping bow. "Welcome to Angelo's. Table for two?"
"Yes, please," Burke said, his tone formal and deeper than usual.
"Righta this way." He led them to a romantic booth in the corner and clapped for the waiter, who hustled over with menus and water. Angelo ordered the young man to bring a plate of specialty appetizers, on the house.
Belle snickered as she watched Angelo fuss over them. As far as she knew, Burke had never met the restaurateur. But Angelo seemed to know him and rolled out the red carpet.
After they'd ordered and Angelo left them alone, Belle said with amusement. "So this is what it's like to be the great Burke Benning?"
He grinned. "Only if the person follows football," he said, taking a sip from his water glass. "I'm glad you decided to join me for dinner."
Her eyes met his. "Me, too."
The waiter brought tall glasses of iced tea and the appetizers: garlic cheese bread, stuffed mushrooms and calamari.
"Hmm, smells good," Belle said, thanking the waiter.
Burke reached for her hand. "Let's pray," he said softly.
She slipped her hand into his and bowed her head. Her hand felt good in his, as if it belonged. He prayed a short, but sincere prayer. "Father, thank you for the food. Thank you for Belle."
She echoed his amen before asking, "So, you really prefer coaching to playing?" She reached for the garlic cheese bread.
"I'm having incredible fun."
"The Lord knew what He was doing," she said with a wink.
He laughed, lighthearted and easy. "Doesn't He always."
Belle sighed, feeling at home, relaxed, with her old friend. Her reasons for guarding her heart seemed to fade in his company, the romantic light and sweet music of Angelo's drumming against any emotional barricades. For the first time since his return to Haskell, she peered beneath the surface of their circumstance and looked beyond what her natural eye could see. There, she found a new hope in the friendship and love they once shared. For so long, she'd believed Burke had shattered those treasured feelings when he abandoned her on their wedding day. But as the evening wore on, Belle knew that the beauty of love would replace the ashes of her darkened and broken heart.
Chapter Twenty
The second Friday night in November, Belle slid onto the bottom bleacher as the last few seconds of the Haymaker's game ticked away, her alma mater winning by four touchdowns. She drew her jacket tight around her and huddled against the biting breeze.
Burke walked the sidelines, tapping third string players on the shoulder an
d sending them in for a few glorious minutes on the field. By now, the crowd had thinned, and waiting parents talked in small circles.
How many times had she sat in these bleachers, cheering for Burke, waiting for him after the game to meet their friends at Charlie's? Or maybe, on a cold night, returning to the Benning house for hot cocoa and a competitive game of Monopoly in Elaine's cozy kitchen.
Those days seemed so long ago, and treasured memories were faded and sketchy. But since their dinner at Angelo's, she discovered more and more every day the love for Burke that had once charmed her young, idyllic heart still captivated her.
From the field, the final buzzer resounded and the game ended. The teams shook hands, then knelt down near the goal post and recited the Lord's Prayer as one voice. The sound of young men calling out to God gave Belle goose bumps. From behind her in the bleachers, the band softly played the school song.
When the field finally cleared, Burke leaned over to the fence and called out, "I'll only be a minute."
She waved and nodded. Her gaze followed him as he jogged gracefully over the field, admitting to herself that she couldn't get that man out of her head.
He'd been to the Bar J almost every night since their dinner date four weeks ago. Duke would build a fire in the fireplace after dinner before slyly slipping upstairs. They spent most of the evenings talking, exploring the mountain of unspoken words between them. It amazed Belle how much they still had in common despite the separate and diverse lives they'd lead over the years.
Last night, just before saying good-bye, Burke asked her to meet him after the game. She had yet to make an appearance at the Haymaker field. She felt nervous about being seen waiting for him, shy about making their budding relationship public. She wanted to treasure their secret for as long a possible.
Her fears were confirmed earlier that day when she met Gates and Meg for lunch. Several people stopped at their table and quizzed her about Burke, winking, smiling and speculating. Belle resented the intrusion.
"What is going on with you two?" Meg opened up the conversation.
"We're talking, getting to know each other again," she said, after ordering a large green salad for lunch.
"That's all?" Meg asked while Gates ordered.
"What did you expect?"
"Love, romance, marriage," Gates said, handing the waitress her menu.
Belle's stomach knotted at her friend's words. "He hasn't said anything about marriage."
"He hasn't told you that he loves you?" Meg wondered.
Belle shook her head and looked out the window, hoping to hide her feelings from her friends. She desperately wanted to hear those words from Burke. She still yearned to say them to him, but those intimate moments eluded them.
Did he really love her? Did he have marriage in mind?
Belle shoved the nagging, doubtful thoughts out of her head as Gates rolled her eyes and tapped her fingers on the tabletop. "Mercy, I can't stand watching you two dance around one another."
"Belle, why don't you tell him how you feel?" Meg asked. "You do love him don't you?"
For the first time, Belle admitted it. "Yes, I do love him. But I can't tell him that. What if he doesn't feel the same way and I ruin our friendship?"
Gates slapped the table with her open palm. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. 'What if he doesn't love me?' Of course he loves you. He doesn't know if you love him."
"He hasn't given you any indication of his intentions?" Meg asked, shushing Gates.
"When he returned from Colorado he told me he wanted me in his life. But since then, we haven't talked much about the future. Besides, it's only been a few weeks," Belle explained.
"A few weeks? What about all the years between the third grade and now? I can't stand it," Gates said, feigning exasperation, a slight smile on her lips.
When Burke joined her on the bleachers, her private reminiscing ended. "Sorry to make you wait," he said, sitting down next to her, the subtle clean scent of his cologne stirring her senses.
"That's okay," she said, smiling shyly. "I'm an old hand at waiting."
He laughed, shivering and digging his hands into his Haymakers coach's jacket. "Good game," he said, his blue eyes peering intensely into hers.
She didn't look away. "I only saw the last few minutes."
"I inherited a great team."
"Coach Anderson was one of the best."
"Absolutely."
They were quiet for a moment. Burke boldly slipped his hand into hers. "I'm glad you came."
Her heart fluttered at his unexpected touch, and she swallowed before answering. "I wanted to be here."
He pulled her to him, causing her to catch her breath. "Belle," he whispered, his face close to hers. "The moment I saw you in the gym that day before the reunion, I knew."
"What'd you know?" she asked, her head swimming, her lips barely able to speak.
"That I still loved you," he said, confident, his tone lavish and sincere. "The kind of love that makes my heart pound and seizes my thoughts." He cupped her face in his hands and peered into her eyes. "I love you, Belle Jamison. I love you."
She burst into tears as she heard the words she so longed to hear. She buried her face in his broad chest as he wrapped her in his stalwart arms. "I love you, too, Burke. I always have."
For a long while he held her, soothing away her tears with words of comfort and love. "I can't believe the Lord has shown me such mercy and favor," he said after awhile.
"I can't believe I'm sitting here in your arms again," Belle said, lifting her face, still nestled close to him. He gently wiped away her tears with the tips of his fingers.
"I'm so amazed," he said, barely above a whisper. "I can't believe He would give me another chance with you after what I did, letting my pride and shame keep me from you. I can't believe that you would even consider loving me again."
"I never stopped loving you."
"Marry me, Belle. Marry me," he said, his face against her hair, his lips brushing her ears.
She bolted up straight. Her lower lip quivered as she asked, "What did you say?"
"Marry me."
Her voice dropped to a whisper as she repeated, "Marry you? Just like that? Marry you?"
His wide, dashing grin spread across his face. "Yeah, marry me."
Overwhelming joy exploded within her and she answered without wavering, flinging her arms around his neck, knocking him back against the bleachers. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you. Yes."
Burke's debonair laugh rang out in the night; it's melody like a thousand chiming bells.
***
Saturday evening Burke rang the Jamison doorbell promptly at seven o'clock. As he waited for the door to open, he smoothed his silk tie and straightened the jacket of his tailored gray suit.
When Belle opened the door, he presented her with a single red rose and kissed her tenderly. "I've been thinking of you all day," he whispered in her ear, the scent of her skin intoxicating him.
She traced his jaw line with the tip of her fingers, smiling up at him. "I was so excited that I started getting ready at three o'clock."
"You look beautiful."
Belle stepped back and modeled her forest green pantsuit, pointing to her sequined shoes. "No cowboy boots," she said, winking at him.
Burke pulled her to him. "I like the cowboy boots." He started to kiss her, but Duke's call from the family room interrupted him.
"You kids gonna stand in the door all night?"
They laughed, and Belle invited Burke inside for a minute. "Daddy's pretty excited.
After a short visit with Belle's father, Burke suggested that they go. He helped her on with her coat, and they bid Duke good night.
"Where are we going anyway?" Belle wondered as they pulled away from the Bar J, Burke's sports car humming toward the edge of town. "Angelo's?"
"Where else? But first, a pit stop."
Belle slipped her hand into his. He melted at her display of affection. "A pit stop?" she repe
ated.
"You'll see."
Before long, the chapel came into view, its ancient window glowing like golden eyes in the night. Burke pulled off the road and into the chapel yard.
"What are you up to?" Belle wondered.
He turned off the engine and hopped out of the car, opening Belle's door for her. "Come on."
Inside, the chapel was warm, quiet, and peaceful. Burke took Belle's coat and draped it with his over the back of the last pew. He took her hand and led her to her favorite front corner.
Candles flickered from the windowsill and along the altar.
"Burke, this is beautiful."
He sat on the front row and pulled Belle down next to him. "I hope you don't mind stopping here before we go to dinner."
"Of course I don't. But why are we here?"
He slipped his arm around her. "I want prayer to be at the core of our relationship."
"So do I." She cuddled against him, kissing him softly on the cheek.
"We need the Creator of all romance to be our strength." He could see the emotion welling up inside her. "We've been engaged for less than a week, one busy week. I just wanted to slow down and spend some time with you in prayer."
"I'd like that very much."
The aura of the Lord filled the chapel as they prayed, submitting their lives as future husband and wife to Him, asking to be a family that would glorify His name.
"Father," Belle began softly after Burke's initial offering, "thank you for bringing Burke home to me."
When she finished, Burke added with feeling, "Thank you for Belle, for forgiveness, for second chances."
They waited, listening with their hearts for a few minutes, Burke smiling to himself as he sensed the Lord's pleasure and blessing. His peace covered them like a heavy blanket.
For a long time they sat, content to simply be in His presence.
When Burke checked his watch, an hour had passed. "Belle, we should get to dinner."
She wiped away the tears that had pooled in her eyes. "Oh, I just love when the Lord reminds me how much He loves me."
Burke kissed her forehead. "There's one more thing I wanted to do before we leave." He dropped to one knee in front of her.
She giggled nervously. "What are you doing?"
