by Deb Kastner
Certainly not lately. Not when it really counted.
He was relieved when she spoke, removing the need for a coherent explanation.
“Let’s thank the Lord for our food.”
Quietly and with gentle reverence, she offered heartfelt gratitude for the food, the day and the company.
Seth shifted uncomfortably. He’d been raised in a Christian home and, since he’d returned from the army, occasionally attended church services with his family, but religion didn’t play a big part in his life anymore.
He cracked his eyes open to watch Rachel pray and noticed he wasn’t the only one feeling uncomfortable. Zooey’s eyes were also open, her gaze on her folded hands. Or rather, she was frowning at her clenched hands. He was surprised she didn’t seem tapped into faith. He certainly had been at her age, with his family’s example all around him, and from the way that Rachel prayed, it was clear that faith was important to her and played a big role in her home.
Rachel’s grace wasn’t dry or bottled, but rather she spoke from her heart, which Seth admired and, if he was being honest, envied. He missed the innocence of his youth, of a faith that transcended the trials of daily life, but he’d seen far too much of the world not to question what he believed.
Still, he echoed her amen.
Zooey scooped a forkful of macaroni salad into her mouth and chewed slowly. A group of young men Seth guessed to be around Zooey’s age walked by, jostling and shoving and trying to talk over each other. Zooey didn’t turn her head, but her gaze trailed after the guys.
Rachel must have seen that, as well.
“It’s a good thing they didn’t allow the teenage guys to participate in the auction,” she said after swallowing her bite of baked beans.
The boys had moved out of hearing distance, but that didn’t stop the blush that rose to the teenager’s cheeks.
“Mom,” she whispered harshly. “That is so uncool. They could have heard you.”
A little adolescent and overdramatic for Seth’s taste, but it was an amusing scene, at least until Zooey tossed down her plate and popped to her feet.
“I am so out of here.”
“Sit down and finish eating.” Rachel’s voice was low and even, but Seth could hear the barely contained tension coating her voice. Her daughter seemed all too willing to ignore it.
“Zooey,” Rachel called after her, but the teenager loped away as if she hadn’t heard, joining a group of friends on the other side of the green.
Rachel sighed and rested her forehead against her palm. “I’m getting a migraine. Sometimes I really don’t know what to do with that girl.”
Seth chuckled. “She’s a teenager. Most of the time, rebellion is written in their DNA. Are you going to tell me you didn’t get into a few scrapes and give your mom a hassle when you were sixteen?”
She scoffed. “I had a newborn baby when I was sixteen. My mother didn’t care for the idea of becoming a grandmother at such a young age and she threw me out of the house.”
Seth’s gut tightened. “Are you serious?”
“Unfortunately, yes. My mom and dad are fairly well-to-do and their unmarried teenage daughter becoming pregnant didn’t go down well in their social circles. It was better if I just disappeared before anyone found out. I would have been interested to hear their explanation for why I dropped out of school and off the map, but I never got a chance to hear it. I haven’t seen them since that day, nor do I want to. I’ve forgiven them for what they did to me and Zooey, but they’re not part of our lives.”
“They sent you away?” Seth almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What kind of parents did that to their child? He had made more than his share of mistakes in his life, but he knew beyond a doubt that his mom and dad would never turn their backs on him, no matter what he did. It was almost inconceivable to even think about. “What did you do?”
“Given that I had no money and nowhere to turn, I am one of the blessed ones. I didn’t end up on the street. Instead, I was taken in by a church-run home for teenage mothers. They taught me how to care for my daughter and helped me finish high school and get on my feet. They gave me real-world skills I could use to provide for Zooey and myself. When I was eighteen, I moved to Serendipity, set up shop as an in-home day-care provider, and the rest, as they say, is history.”
“Wow. That must have been tough, especially at such a young age. I admire and applaud you for your courage.”
Rachel shook her head. “It wasn’t courage. I was scared to death. But I had a lot of support. And though Zooey wasn’t conceived in an ideal situation, I loved her from the first moment I discovered I was carrying her in my womb. I did what I had to.”
“My buddy Luke used to tell me that courage wasn’t the lack of fear. It was being afraid and going forward anyway. That’s what you did. I call it courage.”
Rachel nibbled at her chicken, chewing thoughtfully, her gaze distant. Then, with effort, she seemed to set her emotions aside.
“But enough about me. Tell me about you. Did you join the army right out of high school? Thank you for your service, by the way.”
He gave her a clipped nod. He didn’t really want to talk about his time in the military, and though appreciative of their acknowledgment, he never knew what to say when people thanked him for serving.
“Like many little boys, I dreamed about becoming a soldier when I grew up,” he said. “But I followed through with it and, along with my best friend, Luke Hollister, enlisted before I even finished high school. We were off to boot camp right after we graduated. At the time, I intended to make the army my career. Twenty years and a decent pension sounded good to me. And I really loved serving in the army.”
“What happened?” she asked softly.
Seth blew out a breath. “Luke was killed in a firefight. I was right there next to him and—” He swallowed hard to dislodge the memory. “And then a sniper got him. The bullet whizzed right by my ear and hit Luke.”
He frowned. It was hard to get the words out.
“That day haunts me. I’ll never understand why God let things go down the way they did. I’m a bachelor and yet I was the one who dodged the bullet. Luke left behind his pregnant wife, Tracy, and their ranch land, which has been in the Hollister family for generations.”
“It must have been very rough for her,” Rachel said. “I remember the prayers that were said for her in church. Such a sad situation. I know what it’s like to be pregnant and on your own, but I can’t even imagine dealing with the grief she must have felt, on top of having to run the ranch by herself.”
Seth nodded his agreement. “Thankfully, Tracy was born and raised on a ranch, so she gradually adapted to becoming the sole owner. I admire her courage so much. She’s one of the strongest women I know.”
“At least she had her child to look forward to. She had a boy, right?”
“That’s right. Little Caden is almost three years old now. I promised Luke I’d watch over Caden and Tracy if anything ever happened to him, which is a big part of the reason I came back to Serendipity before heading off to college. I wanted to check in on them and make sure everything was as okay as Tracy tried to make it sound whenever I spoke to her on the phone. I needed to see her with my own eyes.”
“And how is she doing?”
“She appears to be making a success of it, although honestly, I can’t even imagine how she does it. She told me straight to my face that she was fine and she didn’t need my help, that I should worry about getting my own life in order. I realized then that I didn’t want my life to go the same way as Luke’s. I didn’t re-up in the army, because my heart wasn’t in it anymore. I knew I had to do something different.”
“I imagine so,” Rachel said, sympathy evident in the tone of her voice.
“The truth is, I just want to get away from respo
nsibility for a while. I want to be me—to find out who I am outside of the military. I’ve always had someone else in charge of where I go and what I do in my life. I didn’t even take the summer off after high school. Straight from my parents’ house into the army, where I was under orders for everything, even eating and sleeping. Right now all I have on my mind is doing my own thing for a change. Make my own decisions without regard to anyone but myself. No strings attached. Saying that aloud makes me sound like a selfish lout, doesn’t it?”
“Not at all.”
She was generous to say so.
“When I go to college, all I want to worry about is keeping my grades up. That will take some doing. Like I said, I wasn’t the best student, but I’m not sure if it’s so much that I wasn’t good at school as that I didn’t really apply myself. I only worked hard enough to keep my grades high enough for sports.” He could feel himself flushing with embarrassment. “Aw, man. I sound like a regular slacker. Don’t worry—I promise I won’t rub off on Zooey.”
Rachel laughed. “She could use a little of your good attitude. You certainly sound ready to buckle down and work hard now. So after college, some kind of big-league sports work, and then what?”
“I imagine I’ll probably want to settle down at some point—you know, get married and have children. But that is way down the road from now, though.”
He pressed his lips together. He wasn’t even close to being ready for a family of his own. He wasn’t financially prepared to support anyone—and frankly, after losing his best friend, he wasn’t ready for any relationship that would leave his heart open to getting hurt again.
“But,” he continued, forcing the corners of his mouth to curve upward, if only barely, for Rachel’s sake, “in other news, I am now the awesome godfather of the cutest baby ever, Luke and Tracy’s two-year-old son, Caden. And thanks to my sister and brother-in-law, I’m also the proud uncle of an adorable seven-year-old niece and a feisty pair of twins—one boy and one girl. Samantha and Will’s kiddos keep them good and busy.”
“So you’re the fun uncle, huh?”
He flashed his most charming smile. “Exactly. And that’s how I intend to keep things.”
“Chief tickler and bogeyman storyteller. The children will look forward to you coming home to visit when you’re on breaks at school or the football season is over.”
Considering how little they knew of each other, Rachel had just nailed it.
That was the man he wanted to be. The fun uncle who could come and go as he pleased. He was happy to have found someone who seemed to understand where he was at in his life—and why he would soon be leaving town for greener pastures.
Chapter Two
Sunday was usually Rachel’s favorite day of the week. It was the only day out of seven that she allowed herself the opportunity to worship, relax and just be, after a frantically busy week filled to the brim with toddlers followed by a Saturday crammed with a week’s worth of leftover chores and errands.
After Sunday services, she could read or binge on a television series or just nap, which was her favorite way to spend a quiet Sunday afternoon. But today her usual sense of peace had been replaced by a nagging sense of worry.
This morning, she’d watched for Seth at the small church that was home to Serendipity’s community of faith. On the day of the auction, they’d agreed to meet after the Sunday service to go over the specific details of when and how he’d work off her auction win, but he hadn’t shown up. In fact, none of the Howells had been present, which was unusual, since Seth’s parents—Samuel and Amanda—along with Will and Samantha Davenport and their brood usually took up an entire pew.
She’d have to make time to seek Seth out sometime during the week, as soon as possible. Or maybe she could get his cell number from Samantha. She needed the work done without delay. Her day-care recertification was close on the horizon, and from what she’d heard, many of her friends’ in-home day cares were failing in favor of corporate-run day cares because of tightening restrictions.
She couldn’t afford to fail.
Her business was her lifeline—hers and Zooey’s. She couldn’t even imagine what she’d do if she lost the ability to take care of the children. It was the only job she’d ever had, the one thing she felt capable of and qualified for.
Rachel didn’t regret having Zooey, not for one second, but it had put a halt on her college plans and the dreams she’d had for her future. She’d intended to pursue a degree in early childhood education and get her teaching degree.
She’d adapted those dreams into running an in-home day care. Maybe she didn’t have the degree behind her name, but she knew she was a good teacher, and the best part of her day was sitting with the kids, reading to them and teaching them letters and numbers.
Every so often she had to pass a government inspection like the one that was coming up in a few weeks. She kept her day care strictly by the code, but the inspectors were becoming more nitpicky.
She had to keep hold of this job, not only because she loved it, but because it paid her bills and she was able to save a little toward her daughter’s future.
Zooey came first, and she always would. And that was tied to the other frustration in her life—that her daughter, whom she loved more than anything, was pulling away from her. And the situation kept getting worse.
This morning, Zooey had once again pleaded that she was too sick to go to church, when the truth was she was just trying to get out of going to the Sunday service. It had been happening far too often lately. Usually, Rachel insisted that her daughter accompany her, but she was beyond tired of arguing all the time, so this Sunday she’d given in and allowed Zooey to stay home and sleep in.
As soon as Rachel had walked through the doors of the church, guilt had crushed her. She was the parent in this situation. She needed to be the strong one, no matter how hard Zooey pushed back. She should have required that Zooey come with her—no matter what her flimsy excuses might be.
She wouldn’t let it happen again. It didn’t matter how tired Rachel was or how much stress she was under, she couldn’t shirk her responsibility as a parent. As long as her daughter lived under her roof and ate her food, she was going to go to church on Sundays.
Period.
It wasn’t a huge shock to Rachel when she walked in the front door of her modest two-bedroom house and found her daughter playing a video game and talking to someone through her headset. Unfortunately, Rachel had expected it. Zooey didn’t even look up—not until Rachel loomed over her with her arms akimbo and a frown on her face.
At least Myst, a black cat with the most extraordinary emerald-green eyes, appeared happy to see her. He threaded in and out of her legs as she stood waiting for Zooey to acknowledge her, his purr sounding like a truck engine.
“I thought you were too sick to go to church,” Rachel reprimanded. “And you know you’re not allowed to play video games on Sunday.”
Even though their family unit was small, Rachel had always tried to make it clear that family time was a priority. In particular, she went out of her way to make Sundays special, a quiet time to spend with her daughter away from the technology that so often drew them apart. She stayed off her phone and computer and she expected Zooey to do the same.
“Sorry, James. I have to go,” Zooey said into the headset. “My mom’s bugging me.”
Rachel stood silently as her daughter turned off her video game, unsure of which part of Zooey’s statement she should address first.
The teenager’s disrespectful words and behavior or the boy?
“Who is James?” She forced herself to remain calm and not sound accusatory.
“He’s just a guy, Mom.” She used to know all of Zooey’s friends. Though Rachel treasured the time she could spend one-on-one with her little girl, she had always been pleased to welcome any frien
d who wanted to come over for dinner or join them while they went shopping or to the movies. She’d willingly hosted birthday parties and slumber parties and had enjoyed seeing her happy, social daughter having fun with her friends.
It was only in the past year or so that Zooey had become more secretive over what went on in her life. Her longtime friends rarely came over anymore—she seemed to have taken up with a new crowd that Rachel hadn’t met. Meanwhile, her grades had dropped to the point where she had to attend summer school. If Zooey had legitimately had problems with a subject, Rachel would have understood, but Zooey had simply not turned in assignments and, worse, had cut class on more than one occasion.
Though Rachel didn’t like to judge, she was responsible for Zooey’s safety, and in her opinion, some of her daughter’s current friends were questionable at best.
That was what had Rachel worried. She’d raised Zooey to be street-smart as well as book-smart, but she was only sixteen and, whether she wanted to admit it or not, was innocent and vulnerable. Those traits left a girl open to all sorts of predators wanting to take advantage, as Rachel knew all too well.
After all, Rachel’s life had drastically changed when she was sixteen. She wanted so much more for her own daughter.
“And how do you know this James?” Rachel knew her suspicion was creeping out in her tone. She had heard too many horror stories about creepy men stalking girls online not to worry or to ask questions. She wasn’t exactly sure how the game console worked, but she suspected it might be similar to a computer in the ability to connect with strangers. Zooey had been speaking in real time to whoever this James person was. For all Rachel knew, it could be a grown man on the lookout for a girl he could manipulate.
Zooey scowled and defiantly tipped up her chin.
“Check the attitude,” Rachel warned.
“He’s just a friend. My best friend Lori’s boyfriend. Nobody to worry about.”
