by Lizzy Ford
“You needed to learn a few more important lessons first,” Fate said simply. “I can’t force feed outcomes, Gabe. I may egg along chains of events from time to time, but if I am to respect free will, I need to show you the road without necessarily telling you where it goes.”
Gabriel swallowed the retort he wanted to give.
“And then there was Deidre,” Fate added a bit more sadly. “Every once in awhile, the plight of a human makes me almost-feel something.”
“That’s the problem,” Gabriel seconded. “I can’t get over it.”
“You must, if you are to heal yourself and the underworld.”
“You have no fucking clue what it’s like to feel. Not almost feel but really experience emotions.”
“I don’t,” Fate agreed. “But maybe you should look at it the way Deidre does. As a silver-lining. If past-Death hadn’t done what she did, Deidre wouldn’t exist.”
“She wouldn’t hurt or spend eternity in Hell, either.”
“She wouldn’t have reached the part of you and Darkyn that can feel.”
Gabriel was quiet, considering. “I’d rather spare her the misery of her current life than letting worthless gods feel.”
“Gabriel, you are missing the point. You are Death, the Keeper of Souls, Guardian of the Dead, Master of the Underworld, the first ever human-turned-deity. Your very existence was destined to start a new era, rewrite the Immortal Code, and create billions of new chains of events.”
“I think you’re exaggerating,” Gabriel said with a chuckle. He moved onto his belly to peer through the brush and monitor the movement of dealers to and from the palace.
“If you being you has resulted in this, then what do you think Deidre being Deidre will do? You are both anomalies, created at just the right time, and given just the right power you need to forever alter the Future.” Fate crawled down beside him.
“To prevent another upheaval,” Gabriel guessed. “To stop Darkyn from raising his Army of Souls.”
“What’re we looking for?” Fate had his binoculars out.
“You blind, old man? We’re barely thirty meters away.”
“They came with the outfit. There must be a reason to use them.”
“Look for anything that might prevent me from reaching the palace.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Am I right? Are the two super important humans coming into play on your chessboard right now to counter Darkyn’s plans?”
“Yes.”
“So this is less about helping me and more about some danger only you can see,” he surmised.
In that light, Fate’s explanation made sense. Unfortunately, it came from the mouth of a known liar.
However little he trusted fate, Gabriel understood that Deidre was as special as he was. She was first human to become a deity’s mate – twice even! – and the first and only mate of a Dark One. She’d already displayed her ability to influence Darkyn, to protect the innocent and therefore limit the reaches and power of Hell.
“It’s both,” Fate replied. “I’m ninety percent more likely to succeed now. Besides, everyone needs a favor from Death at some point.”
“You plotting against me?”
Fate smiled without answering.
Gabriel fell quiet, dwelling on the explanation while also scouring the tree line for signs of activity. Fate had a way of softening horrible events, of making them sound manageable, if not necessary. If it weren’t the fact he was also an untrustworthy, lying asshole …
“I can see the appeal,” Fate said. “These are effective.”
It was hard to stay upset at the low-key deity who appeared impressed by something as human as binoculars.
“You swear on what horrible, corrupt, shriveled up soul you have that Deidre was not created simply to suffer?” Gabriel asked.
“I do swear it. You were both created for reasons greater than you know. Besides, the past is done, Gabriel. Hanging onto it is what got you into this mess. It’ll kill you, if you don’t let it go.”
Gabriel relaxed. The assurance eased some of his concern while making the hair on the back of his neck raise in alarm at the smug note in the deity’s voice.
“Speaking of Darkyn,” Fate murmured. “He and Rhyn are smashing through the forest.”
Gabriel looked in the direction Fate was peering. Without the precision of the binoculars, Gabriel saw the forest’s frantic movement and the darting of dealers in the direction but was unable to identify exactly what came.
“Good timing for a distraction,” he said and pushed himself up.
The suns had begun to drop rapidly towards the shifting horizon of the underworld. In a matter of two minutes, it’d be sunset.
“What’s the plan?” Fate asked, standing as well.
“You can see the Future,” Gabriel said wryly. “Why don’t you tell me?”
“It’s more fun when you don’t look.” The lean deity clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “I’m ready.” Dressed in his safari clothing and matching wide-brimmed hat, Fate was armed with binoculars and his grin, about as far from ready as Gabriel could imagine.
“You’re really coming with me?” Skeptical, Gabriel started to smile.
“Until things get bad, at which point I’ll leave,” replied the deity.
“Appreciate the honesty.” Gabriel growled. “So I should assume you don’t have my back.”
“That’s not how this works.”
“It never is.”
“This adventure isn’t going to wait long for us.” Fate faced the palace.
“Did you peek at the future and know it’s safe to go or are you a fucking lunatic as usual?”
Fate stepped from the forest.
Gabriel drew his weapons with a muttered curse and followed, lifting his weapons into ready positions, in case Fate was fucking with him.
The raucous from the southern approach drew his attention briefly. The forest appeared to be boiling with activity, and dealers swarmed like ants over the two demons. For a moment, he hesitated, compelled to help, especially knowing Darkyn was far weaker here without access to his power. If Rhyn or Andre were killed, Gabriel was able to raise him. He didn’t feel quite so generous towards the Dark One.
The demon had to stay alive, for Deidre’s sake.
“Come on, Gabe. They’re fine,” Fate called.
“You’re sure?”
“Compared to our issue, yes.”
Gabriel returned his focus to the palace and trotted after the fearless deity ahead of him. Fate reached the wall and waited.
“This way,” Gabriel said, motioning towards the north. “Secret passages. And what do you mean by our issue?”
“There’s an eighty percent chance that a certain prisoner in the dungeon got loose. I want to assess the damage, if so.”
Gabriel said nothing, uncertain what past-Death might’ve kept in the dungeon, but understanding Fate’s sudden interest in doing something that might get his hands dirty.
Sticking to the side of the palace, they hurried down the north side, until Gabriel reached the entrance to the secret passageways. The door was where he expected it to be, and he opened it, motioning for Fate to enter with him.
The inside was dark and quiet.
Death’s bedchamber, he willed the stones.
A few seconds passed before he heard them begin to shift. Gabriel waited in the darkness until they had settled once more, listening absently to Fate’s restless movement behind him.
“Watch your step,” he whispered and started forward.
“I don’t like the dark, Gabe.”
He said nothing.
“I would go so far to say it scares me, if I felt such a human emotion,” Fate added, crowding him.
“You’re scared of something?” Gabriel asked, amazed. “You’re a god who taunts deities and can access the Future. How can you almost-fear anything?” More comfortable in the darkness and night than out in the sun, Gabriel trusted the palace to take him where he needed to go and
strode confidently forward.
“It is frightening not to be able to see.”
“I doubt a dark hallway is the worst place you’ve ever been.”
“True. But this is how I imagine the lives of everyone else to be.”
“You fear losing your Sight, not the dark,” Gabriel clarified. “You think we wander around in the darkness trying to stick to some path you put at our feet and hoping not to hit a brick wall?”
“It definitely looks that way from where I sit. You have no idea what you’re doing.”
“It’s not about knowing what we’re doing. It’s about experiencing. It’s what we call living. You fucking deities will never get it. Past-Death is the only one of you brave enough to try it while the rest of you look down on the human experience,” Gabriel said, irritated. “I can tell you one thing, Fate. You’d never get bored as a human.”
“Perhaps. It’s a little too limiting for my taste. Though I sometimes do things like this to see what I almost-feel. I’m not sure I could spend a lifetime like this.” Fate was quiet for a moment. “I could create a theme park for deities. Being Human, the Ride.”
“Make sure it randomly jackknives into brick walls in the name of establishing new chains-of-events.”
“That can be arranged.”
The outline of a doorway appeared ahead. Gabriel slowed. “I need to do something I should have my first day,” he said. “I need some space. You want to go to the dungeon?”
“Yes.”
“After I step through the door, tell the passage where to take you.”
“Are you excited?”
“About?”
“Everything you need to become the most powerful Death ever is behind the door you’ve been avoiding since you took your throne.”
Gabriel’s heart quickened. Past-Death had once told him he’d become like her, when he walked into the closet in the corner of her bedchamber. He’d avoided doing it for that reason. No part of him was ready to give up what remained of his humanity to turn into the manipulative sociopath that preceded him.
It seemed … petty now to avoid doing his duty, because he resented her. However lacking she was in the emotional area, however cruel she was capable of being, she’d been an effective and devoted Death, her first priority always the souls she safeguarded, even if she fucked up everyone else around her.
In contrast, emotions had clouded his judgment, and he’d left his home vulnerable and the souls exposed to those who wanted them for nefarious purposes.
“Now you are afraid,” Fate whispered.
“I won’t fail this time,” Gabriel said firmly. “Safe travels to the dungeon.”
Without another word, he opened the door and left, closing it behind him.
Death’s bedchamber was trashed. It wasn’t the rubble of his bed and walls alone that made his brow furrow, but the evidence of a small massacre in the wake of the destruction. With a deep frown, he took in everything then decided not even the bizarre scene before him was going to deter him.
Gabriel strode to the door in the corner and balled up his fists. His heart raced, his emotions flickering between regret and resolve.
If I have to give up what it means to be human to protect everyone, I will. But it was hard. So hard. He’d held onto his soul for tens of thousands of years and managed to keep the piece of him that made him empathize with those whose lives he took. It wasn’t easy. He’d almost lost himself a few times, only for his best friend, Rhyn, to bring him back and remind him why a world filled with emotionless gods and goddesses was wrong.
Human life was sacred – and so was human death. The Immortals and deities never understood either as such, but humans were special. Delicate. With the shortest life spans of all the creatures in all the realms, they were also capable of so much: of love and loss, of great accomplishments and harrowing disappointments, of beauty, no matter what their circumstances. They did more in their short years than a member of any other race of creatures did in millennia.
He wasn’t ready to lose that connection, but if he didn’t accept his fate fully, the underworld and everyone he cared about would suffer. The souls would suffer, too, the selfish decision of one man plunging billions of innocents into eternal despair.
Whatever lay behind the door before him, it was the key to stopping the underworld from its downward spiral, the key to establishing control.
Gabriel drew a calming breath, opened the door to his future – and froze in surprise.
Staring back at him from the middle of the most sacred place in the underworld was a demon.
“What the fuck?”
“Before you –” The demon started.
Gabriel had whipped out a knife and snatched the familiar demon before it finished. He slammed him into the ceiling, blade biting into the skin of the creature.
“-do that.” The demon squirmed.
“Gabriel!” It was past-Death’s voice. “Stop!”
More surprises every day. Unable to explain what was going on, he went perfectly still, ready to snap the demon’s neck or release him, depending on how well he understood the explanation that came next.
“We’re helping each other escape,” his mate said. “He got us out of the dungeon. I promised him neither you nor I would hurt him. So put him down now.”
Her cool command had no effect on him this time. “Are you hurt?” he asked her without releasing the demon. “Are you saying this under duress?”
“No, Gabriel,” past-Death sighed. “He’s like my pet … sorta. Smelly, disgusting and always hungry but basically harmless. Release him. Please.”
“I know this demon,” Gabriel said, peering more closely at the blond creature. “You’ve alternately helped then betrayed then helped Rhyn.”
“Yes,” the demon hissed. “Friendly pet.”
Gabriel lowered him from the ceiling, struggling to digest how he’d entered the most sacred place in the underworld only to find a fucking demon there ahead of him. He ventured a glance at his mate, and his gaze stuck, the way it always had whenever he saw her.
Beautiful, if tired, deity-Deidre’s large eyes were the purest blue, her wispy blonde hair swept back and tied at the base of her neck. She was pale enough to be a ghost, and her clothing was rumpled and bloodied. His protective instinct prodded him, and he found the resentment he normally experienced whenever they saw one another slipping away at the sight of her state.
The pulse of their bond shimmered between them for a split second, his attraction to her as strong now as it had been when he first fell for her so long ago. He wanted to sweep her up in his arms, make love to her until the sad look on her face disappeared, and then conquer his world with her at his side.
We aren’t ready for that yet. Frustration of a different kind left him more wired, but he restrained the urge to touch his mate, to feel her warm skin and hold her while gazing into her eyes.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” she answered with a small, shy smile.
“Hey,” the demon said.
Gabriel eyed him and strode to the door, tossing him out. He closed the door behind him.
“I swore to help him, Gabriel,” his mate reminded him.
“If something happens, we’ll hear him scream.” Gabriel was transfixed by her once more.
She folded her arms across her chest, appearing as apprehensive as he was frustrated. He wasn’t certain where to start and had completely forgotten the sacred surroundings.
“See? Nothing bad happened by coming here,” she started. “I don’t know what you thought this was, but it’s not bad.”
Gabriel took in the subdued room. Drawn to the souls at its center, he peered into a large bowl of multi-hued gems.
“Deities,” he said, surprised. “This is where I was supposed to put my soul?”
“Yeah.”
Fuck. She was right. There was nothing in the room trying to change who he was, only his fear.
“I’m a fucking fool,” he mutte
red.
“Not for that reason.” Past-Death rested a hand on his forearm then withdrew quickly. Her cool touch sent relief spinning through him. “I’m afraid I can’t help you figure out what’s supposed to happen next. Memory loss.”
“I don’t care,” he replied. Turning to her, Gabriel swept her small frame into his arms and squeezed her hard. She molded against him, resisting no part of his hug. “You’re safe. That’s all that matters. Though I can’t believe you’re hanging out here with a demon.”
Gabriel held her, his body instinctively relaxing the way it did every time his mate was in his arms. It took all his concentration to keep his hands from wandering the way they wanted to.
Her arms circled him, and she squeezed. “I’m resourceful.” She lifted her face to rest her chin on his chest. “Aren’t I? Am I resourceful? I know I was.”
“Yeah,” he said with a chuckle. “You’re definitely resourceful.”
“Am I better this time than last?”
At the mournful note in her voice, he looked down at her. She appeared distraught or at least, overly concerned about his response.
“I’ve always loved you,” he replied, brushing hair from her face. “But yeah, you’re much more likeable this time around.”
The sadness didn’t leave her features. She ducked her head and pressed it to his chest. He held her quietly. Before her abduction, they’d reached a truce, willing to try to rebuild the trust between them. Losing her again had cemented his determination but also his fear that they were destined to continue hurting each other, whether by choice or not.
Somehow, he had to get past that fear and uncertainty, had to accept his mate and any baggage that came with her.
“I don’t like losing you,” he told her.
“You won’t again. I can’t leave the underworld for one,” she replied. “Second, I’m ready to be a better person, whether or not you want to be in my life. Losing your soul because your mate doesn’t love you enough kind of makes you rethink who you are.”
Gabriel said nothing, squeezing her more tightly against him. He hadn’t asked about the deal, uncertain what good it’d do. There had been too much anger for him to love her unconditionally, the way he once had.
