I start to kiss my way down her neck, nipping and biting just how she loves, when I hear the door open and a woman’s voice.
“Nicole, your father and I—”
“Ugh, don’t you know how to knock? This isn’t part of the main house, so you have no claim to it.” Nicole is still on top of me, so I can’t see whoever came in, but I am guessing it is her stepmom.
With as much as Nicole talks about her, I just have to sneak a look. When I peek around Nic and see her, my heart stops. No, this could not be happening right now. I have to be in some sort of an alternate universe, or a fucking nightmare. This is not possible. I clear my throat as I utter the one word I thought I would never say again. “Mom?”
When she looks at me, I know. I see the recognition pass over her face. She turns without another word and walks out. I don’t know why I would be surprised by this. It isn’t the first time she knowingly walked away from me. I move Nicole off of me and stand up.
I can’t even think right now. My mother is here and married to her father! Living the life of fucking luxury, while my dad works his ass off every day. Half of the time I thought of her, I prayed that she had it as hard as we did. No, she is living the life and enjoying it. I need to get out of here.
I start for the door, but I feel someone grab my arm. When I turn around, Nicole is standing there, staring at me. Her face is marred with shock. Looking at her now, all I see is my mother’s betrayal with her father. I can’t be with her and I can’t be here. I reach for the door again.
“Jason, please wait. I—”
“No, Nic, I’m leaving, this shit is too much. I am going to go home and you are going to stay here.” My voice is hard but I need her to listen to me right now.
“No, I’ll go with you. I don’t want to be here. I just want to be where you are.” I can see the pain I am causing in her eyes, and it is about to get worse.
“Well, I don’t want to be with you. I’m leaving. Don’t follow me.” I hate saying this to her. I just need her to let me leave and I know that I have to be an extreme asshole to make that happen.
“No! I refuse to let you end us because of this!” She is starting to cry now, and I can’t look at her.
“You can refuse all you want, it’s over. Don’t follow me, don’t call me, just leave me alone. I don’t know who we were kidding with this anyway. It would have ended eventually.”
I start walking to the car and hear her following me. I open the door and get in, when she grab it and stop it from closing. It starts raining, but we are just staring at each other and getting soaked saying nothing at first. Nicole breaks the silence.
“Please don’t leave. I…I love you.” When she says that, a sharp pain hits my chest. I love her too. She has tears streaming down her face now, and all I want to do is pull her into my arms. I can’t, though. I will never be able to deal with this, and having my mother is a permanent reluctant presence in my life. I pull the door away from her and slam it. Then I speed out of that driveway and away from that house as fast as I can.
The whole drive home I can’t get Nicole’s face or what she said out of my head.
For the first time since Sara died, I cry.
Chapter Twenty
Nicole
I don’t know how long I have been standing in the rain, but it doesn’t matter. I am numb right now, a shell of who I was. Jason took every last part of me with him when he left. I can’t believe he did that to me. I told him I loved him, and he just left. I have been scared to say it to him and as soon as I did, he drove away like I had just told him the worst news ever. I know he was upset about his mom, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t care about us anymore. I thought telling him that I loved him would convince him to stay.
I slowly walk back to the pool house, not caring what I look like to the neighbors, or how wet I am right now. When I get there, I pull out my phone and all I want to do is call him. I don’t, I call Mads and try to tell her what happened, but between the sobbing and teeth chattering from being frozen, I barely get anything out.
She seems to understand what I am saying, though, and Carter drives her to come pick me up. We don’t talk the whole way back to their house and I appreciate the silence. When we get there, I take a shower, which I hope will make me feel a little better. I want the shower to wash away all of the grief and sadness, although I know that is not a possibility.
When I walk back into the bedroom, Mads is sitting there waiting for me. “Listen, Carter is going to go home tonight and I am going to stay here with you. He is fine with it, so don’t even think about fighting me on it.” I walk over and give her a hug. I am so happy to have a friend like her right now. After Carter leaves, Mads and I sit down on the couch. “All right, girl, now spill.”
“Okay, well, first let me share the big revelation with you. The Barbie troll that my dad married…she is…she’s his mom.” The look on her face is just as I expected. “I understand why he is upset, but how could he leave me because of that? He just drove away. I told him that I loved him and he didn’t even seem to care. I get that he needed to get away, but I wanted to go with him. He was so cold, like the old Jason. I finally broke down his wall and now he put it back up and I don’t think there is a chance I will even crack it this time.”
“Nicole, I know it seems like that now, but once he calms down he will see that it has nothing to do with the two of you.”
I wished she would have been right about that. I give J his space for the next week. I don’t call him, text him, I don’t even ask Carter for updates on how he is. When he gets back to town, I still never hear from him. Carter says he is drowning his worries in alcohol, and I know that girls will become a part of that soon. I have to try one last time.
* * *
It is midnight and I can’t sleep. It’s been two weeks since Jason walked away from me and I need to see him. When I get to his house, it is unlocked, so I know he must still be up. I walk into his room, and I see something that demolishes any pieces of my heart that weren’t already broken when he walked away from me last time. Stacey is here, lying on Jason’s bed, the sheets are all messed up, and she is wearing nothing but a bra and panties. I can hear Jason’s shower running in his bathroom. Oh my God.
“Nicole, what are you doing here? Jason said you weren’t together anymore.” I can tell by the way she says it, that she is enjoying every minute of this. I will not cry right now, because I refuse to give her the satisfaction of seeing me like that. I walk out of his room, knowing that no matter how much I love him, I can never forgive him.
I drop his Christmas present that I got him in Myrtle Beach on the kitchen counter, and walk home, finally accepting that I lost Jason and he isn’t coming back.
Jason
This time without Nicole has been shit. Being away from her only showed me how much I care about her. Even knowing that, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that if she is in my life, my mom will be too. I’ve been drinking constantly to help suppress the urge to call her and beg her to take me back. I know going back to her would only hurt both of us right now. I am in no shape to be with her, I don’t want to be around anyone.
I think I hear voices in my bedroom, but I must be imagining things. Shawn isn’t coming back until tomorrow. I turn off the shower, wrap myself in a towel, and go out into my bedroom. When I walk out and see Stacey lying on my bed, I do a double take. What the fuck is she doing here?
She must have heard me because she turns around and smiles at me. “That was a long ass shower, J. I know it’s late, but I wanted to give you a Christmas present.” She kneels on the bed and reaches around to unclasp her bra.
“Wait! Stacey, I don’t know what you think you are doing, but you need to leave. I don’t want you here.”
“But Jason—”
“Out! Now!”
Once she is gone, I lie back down on the bed. When my head hits the pillow, all I can smell was Nicole.
Fuck, she is like a ghost th
at won’t go away.
* * *
I am jolted from my sleep by an obnoxiously loud banging on the door. This better be fucking important. When I open it up, I see a seriously pissed off Maddy. Before I can ask her what is wrong, she smacks me right across the face. Shit! Carter grabs her and yanks her back against him.
“What the hell, Maddy?”
“Don’t you what the hell me, Jason Smith! How dare you do that to her! I really thought you were better than that!”
She starts to storm away and Carter is following her. What is going on? “Wait! Will one of you please tell me what the fuck I did to piss you off so bad?”
Maddy turns around and then starts running toward me again. Luckily Carter catches her. “Maybe we should take this inside. Babe, can you calm down for a minute, woman? You are hot when you’re mad and when you are squirming around like this I can’t control the effect you have on me.”
She turns around, gives Carter a death look and walks toward the door. I move over so she can get into the house, but as she is walking by, she punches me right in the chest. “Ow! Carter, what the hell is going on?”
He just shakes his head and walks into my apartment. They are in the living room, sitting on the couch and staring at me. “Can you please, with your words, tell me what I did that was so bad?”
“It isn’t what you did, it’s who my best friend caught you doing!” She is yelling, but I have no idea what the hell she is talking about.
If she thought that statement would clear anything up, she is crazy. “Still not following…”
She stands up and I take a couple steps back. “How could you sleep with Stacey, J? Do you have any idea how much that hurt Nicole, seeing her in your bed? You guys haven’t even been broken up for that long.”
“What? I haven’t touched that girl since last year! And I haven’t seen Nicole since I left that night.”
Maddy looks confused now and Carter seems to understand maybe he should take over. “Listen, we know, you don’t need to cover it up. Nic came over here to talk to you last night and saw Stacey in your bed half naked while you were in the shower.”
Nicole had been here? Oh my God. “No, you have it all wrong, Carter. Yes, I went out drinking last night, but I came home alone. I jumped in the shower to sober myself up and when I came back out, that slut was in my bed, in her bra and underwear. You guys know that I always leave my door open when I’m home. I swear to God, I never touched her!” Fuck! I collapse onto the couch and bury my face in my hands. Nicole thinks I moved on, and to make matters worse, she thinks I replaced her with Stacey.
Carter and Maddy are both just staring at me, and then she walks over and hugs me. “I’m sorry I smacked you.”
“It’s okay, I understand why now. I would have smacked me too. I need to make this right.”
When I look up at them, they have these expressions on their faces that tell me winning Nicole back is not going to be easy. She is worth it, and I need to get my head out of my ass and show her how much she means to me.
I go into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and see a box wrapped in candy cane wrapping paper sitting there. I look at the gift tag and my heart stops when I see that it is from Nic. I unwrap it, open the box, and see a note placed on top.
Jason,
I thought of this during our trip together and knew that I wanted to get it for you. I hope you know how happy you have made me by finally letting me in. You are the most protective, sweet, and amazing guy I have ever met. I hope this is the first of many Christmases that we get to spend together.
Merry Christmas!
Nicole
I put the note on the counter and lifted up the tissue paper. Inside is an old model cherry red Chevy Camaro. I remember telling her a while ago that it was my dream car that I would buy if I ever had enough money to get one. I lift it out of the box and admire it, and when I turn it around, the license plate of the car says ‘Smith.’
This is the best present that anyone has ever given me. I look up at Carter and Maddy, who are just standing there looking at me.
“Please help me get her back.”
Maddy walks over and gives me a hug. I hope she can help me, because I can’t lose the one person I finally decided to love.
Chapter Twenty One
Nicole
As we walk up to Shattered Glass, all I can think about is going up on that stage and letting every ounce of frustration and hurt I am feeling pour out. I was so glad when Mads suggested we come here tonight. I did not need to spend another night in my cheetah pajamas, drowning my misery in ice cream and Channing Tatum. I go right up to the MC and sign up. He says it is a slow night and if I want to go next I can.
I was singing one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite groups, The Band Perry’s Done. The song is about a girl who had enough of being taken advantage of. She is now ready to fight back and give the bastard what he deserves. As much as I love Jason, I can’t sit around and wait for him to want me the way I want him.
When I am up there belting out the lyrics, it feels amazing, I am so into it. I release every angry, pissed off, and sad feeling I have held onto since the night he left me. I have to say, I was imagining singing it to him, and I actually thought he was there at one point. When the song is over, I am out of breath, but I feel fucking fantastic.
I go and sit down with Mads at the table and we laugh and joke about all of the crazies that show up to karaoke nights. The lights dim, which is something that is really rare here. When I look up at the stage, I see the silhouette of a guy sitting on a barstool. I can see the shadow of a cowboy hat and even though my heart is calling me an idiot, my libido is getting all excited. I hear a song start and recognize it as Rascals Flatts’s God Blessed The Broken Road. When the guy starts to sing, the lights turn on and what is left of my heart stops.
Oh my God.
It’s Jason.
His voice is beautiful. I never knew he could really sing with all that screaming shit he listens to. What is he doing here? He starts to move off of the stage, and seems to be looking around. His eyes focus on me and I feel like I am going to fall off my stool. By the time he hits the second chorus, he is in front of me. Singing his heart out to me, with a song that fits him so well. He picks me up and puts me on the table so I am face to face with him.
He continues singing to me, while placing feather light kisses on my cheek and anywhere else he can between words. I can hear the song start to wind down and I wish it could go on forever.
When it is over, he turns to face the crowd. “So, I am here tonight for this beautiful girl right here. I have had the privilege these past few months to have her with me. Then, like most men, I acted like a complete asshole.”
Everyone starts to laugh and he looks back at me and smirks. He turns around to me and wraps his free hand around my waist. “I didn’t know how amazing she was until I didn’t have her in my life anymore. I need you with me, Nicole, and I will do anything to have you back. I will rehearse any lines for plays you want, even if I don’t know what I am saying. I will sing at this club every weekend. I’ll do any stupid line dance you want me to. I’ll even watch all of those crappy love movies with you. I need you to understand how sorry I am and how much I have missed you. I got your present that you left at the house and I wanted to give you what I had gotten for you too. I bought this about a week before we broke up.”
He pulls a small square jewelry box out of his pocket and opens it. Inside is a silver ring with one light blue triangular stone connected to another dark blue triangular stone on each side. There is a tiny row of diamonds on each side going around the ring.
“This is a promise ring, and I want you to understand what it means. I promise that, from now on, I am yours. I’m not running anymore and I want to be with you for as long as you will let me. I have been scared to say this to you, but I’m not anymore. I love you, Nicole Williams, and I want everyone to know it. My only hope is that I didn’t screw up bad
enough, that you don’t want me anymore.”
At this point, I am crying like a baby. “I love you too, Jason.” Those are about the only words I can manage, but it doesn’t matter. He crashes his mouth to mine and I lose myself in the passion that I have been missing so much. The MC comes up and grabs the microphone from Jason, then walks back to the stage, while everyone in the club is clapping and cheering.
“There is one other thing that I need you to know. I never touched Stacey. She snuck in while I was showering and thought if she threw herself at me, I would jump at the chance. There hasn’t been anyone since we decided that we would be together. And…I don’t want there to be anyone else ever again.”
This time, it was me grabbing him. I missed him so much and I can’t believe that he is really here. “I am so glad to see you.” He picks me up and starts walking toward the door. “Where are we going?”
“Tarzan needs Jane to love him for long time.” I throw my head back and laugh.
“I was hoping that was where we were going.”
Epilogue
Nicole
It’s been a month since Jason and I got back together and things couldn’t be better. It took a while for us to get back to the place we were but we did it.
Since I hated being home around my stepmom anyway, it was no big deal when I told him he never needed to go to my house. His dad is still not completely on board with us, but as long as Jason loves me, I don’t care. Well I do, but I’m trying not to let it bother me.
I have never been so happy in my life and I guess that the saying really is true.
The best things in life are worth waiting for.
Wait For Me Page 10
