A Reason to Run (The Camdyn Series Book 1)

by Christina Coryell

  More than that, she said she was impressed with the letter I sent. She didn’t think I had it in me. I asked her in sincerity if she thought I was making a mistake.

  “Absolutely not,” she stated. “I think it’s brilliant. You are going to get a ton of press for this, and it’s going to boost your sales. I think it will be good for you personally, too. I can’t get over this sudden change in you!”

  “I’ve been doing some soul searching,” I laughed.

  “I think you were searching for something, all right. When I told you to go find yourself a man, I didn’t think you would take me seriously, but I have a sneaking suspicion that some of this has to do with the Cole you mentioned in that letter.”

  “Quite possibly,” I admitted. “Wish me luck, because I am on my way to see him right now.”

  “Good luck, Camdyn. I will call you again soon!”

  I smiled and laughed out loud after she hung up, satisfied that I had broken some kind of barrier. I truly felt like I could do anything. I don’t remember driving through Nashville at all on my way back, I was so focused. My mind began imagining what I would say to Cole when I saw him.

  How is a girl supposed to tell a guy she loves him, anyway? Should I just blurt it out, or do I need to break it to him gently?

  I practiced saying the words out loud, and I couldn’t make them come out in a way that didn’t fall into the opposite extremes of pathetic or stalker. Practicing ultimately seemed like a mistake, so I focused instead on trying to stay calm and keeping my nerves at bay. Concentrating on deep breathing, I was trying to remain relaxed when my phone rang again, and I jumped about a foot. I hit the speaker button and said hello, feeling a little jittery.

  “Cammie, it’s Trina and Charlie,” I heard.

  “Both of you at once?” I asked, surprised. “That is unusual.”

  “We just wanted to tell you that we read what you e-mailed to us, and we’re really proud of you, Camdyn,” Trina continued.

  “Both of us are proud of you,” Charlie said.

  “Thank you, both of you; that means a lot to me.”

  “All those sweet things you said,” Trina chimed in, “I don’t even know what to say. I’m so glad you’re my sister.”

  “Aw, me too, Trina,” I assured her.

  “And listen, Cam, I know I’ve been hard on you lately, and I’m sorry about that,” Charlie interrupted. “I just want you to be happy. I hope you know that.”

  “I am happy, Charlie, finally,” I told him.

  “So, what’s next?” Charlie asked. “You’ll be famous now, I guess. Everyone will call me ‘Camdyn’s brother.’”

  “I’m just glad I’ll be able to brag about her now,” Trina added.

  “You guys are way ahead of me,” I laughed. “I am just thinking about getting through today.”

  “What happens today?” Charlie asked. “Where are you? Have you left Louisville?”

  “Yes, I left Louisville, and I am driving through Tennessee right now,” I said.

  “Going back to the bed and breakfast?” Trina wanted to know.

  “Yes,” I told her, “and once I get up the nerve, I’m going to tell the man of my dreams that I am in love with him.”

  Trina screamed into the phone, and then Charlie started laughing.

  “In that case, I wish you the best of luck,” Charlie said. “Let us know how it all turns out, sis. We love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I stated, “both of you, so much.”

  “We’ll see you soon, then,” Charlie told me.

  “Yes, you better still come see the little peanut!” Trina exclaimed.

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I sighed, hanging up the phone.

  The last miles flew by as I knew I was almost there. I was ready to be back in that bedroom, where I could wake up in the morning and enjoy a run through the beautiful scenery and come back to a home cooked breakfast. Was I a little spoiled after staying so long with Rosalie? Yes, I knew that to be true, but it was nice to have someone look after me. I hadn’t had that since my grandma, after all.

  When I pulled into the driveway, I immediately thought that nothing had changed. The flowers had come into bloom a little more, and there was a faint hint of fragrance in the air – lilacs, perhaps. I parked my car, retrieved my suitcase from the trunk, and grabbed my laptop and phone. Walking slowly up to the house, I really savored the moment, and as I stepped onto the porch, I stopped to take a deep breath.

  “Rosalie?!” I called as I opened the door. She didn’t answer, so I set my suitcase in the middle of the living room and went to the back of the house, checking the laundry room and her bedroom but not finding her. I looked out the back door and in her office, but no sign of her. As I was heading back toward the front door, I heard the floor creak upstairs, so I went in that direction. At the top of the staircase, I called her name again, and she came bustling out into the hallway, hair a mess and a fitted sheet in her hands. I laughed when I saw her, and she only hesitated for a second before she ran right to me and wrapped me in a bear hug.

  “Camdyn, you’re home!” she exclaimed.

  “Home,” I whispered, not letting her go. “I like the sound of that.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Rosalie and I sat at the kitchen table while she told me everything that happened while I had been gone. She had a couple of interesting guests who were very particular about their breakfast demands. I laughed as she explained their antics, and how after bending over backwards to please them, they only ate a few bites. She said she had been cleaning all morning, because she had more guests coming that night. I told her I would be happy to help, but she told me she had it under control. Besides, I was probably tired from my journey, and she was sure I had more important things I wanted to take care of, anyway. She poured me a cup of coffee and I sighed as I smiled and looked around the room.

  “It is so good to be back,” I told her.

  “You found everything you needed for your book, I guess?” she asked.

  “Yes, it was incredible.”

  “Well, don’t tell me about it,” she laughed. “I want to read it for myself and be surprised.”

  “Okay, I won’t.” I took a sip of the coffee she had handed me and gazed about me, relieved to be back in the comfortable surroundings. I was surprised by how much it meant to me, really.

  “That letter you sent,” she started with a smile, “I can’t tell you how nice that was. I hope you know that I am really proud of you, Camdyn.”

  “Thank you. I am so grateful for you, Rosalie.”

  “And you are most surely family, as far as I’m concerned. I hope you will stay here indefinitely, and that you won’t feel guilty about it.”

  “I can’t promise you anything about feeling guilty,” I chuckled, “but I will stay. You’re going to have to let me pay you in some way, though. Housework, laundry, cooking…”

  “Well, maybe housework and laundry,” she laughed. “You can leave the cooking to me, so we don’t burn the house down.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I think that is a wise decision.”

  Once we were finished chatting, I pulled my suitcase back to my bedroom to unpack my dirty clothes, only to find a bouquet of Stargazer lilies on my pillow. I picked them up along with the note beside them, turning it over in my hands. I knew it was from Cole, but I was reluctant to read his words. He cared about me, that was clear enough, but what would he think when I told him that I loved him? We had only known each other a couple of weeks. Would he think I was crazy?

  Opening the note, I looked down at his handwriting.

  Camdyn,

  These last few days have without a doubt been the longest of my life. There are a lot of things we need to talk about. I will have dinner ready for you tonight, but if you are back sooner, please call me. I can’t wait to see you.

  Cole

  I sighed and held the note against my chest, looking over at the picture of Cole that still sat on the dresse
r. My first reaction was to be embarrassed that he had been in my room, of course, but the second was one of hesitation. We need to talk? Ugh, I had said those words enough times to dread them being said to me. Still, he said he couldn’t wait to see me, so it couldn’t be all bad, right?

  I hung up my new dress and the peach top, and then took my dirty clothes to the laundry room. After that, I went back out to join Rosalie.

  “You haven’t seen Cole yet?” she asked as I sat down.

  “No, I figured he would still be working,” I stated. “Those flowers are beautiful though.”

  “He probably is working,” she said. “He made sure he had those here first thing this morning. He was very anxious for you to be back.”

  “Honestly, I’m a little nervous about seeing him,” I laughed, twirling my hair through my fingers.

  “Why is that?”

  “I’ve decided that it’s time to be completely honest, that’s all.”

  “So you’re finally going to admit that you’re in love with him, then?” She chuckled as I looked at her with wide eyes.

  “Am I that transparent?” I sighed.

  “Yes, honey,” she stated, nodding. “Well, to me, anyway.”

  “I have no idea how to do this.”

  “Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” she told me.

  “Yeah, or I will crash and burn in an epic fail. That would be poetic justice, I guess, for all those guys who professed their love for me.”

  “I have faith in you,” she said. “You should call him, though. He’ll want to know you’re back.”

  “I know, but I think I will just head over to his house,” I laughed. “I might need the extra time to calm my nerves.”

  Moving back to the bedroom, I decided to change into my new peach top and a pair of jeans. I must have spent half an hour in there, going through my words in my head and looking at myself in the mirror. I spot-curled a few sections of my hair, reapplied some of my makeup, and then just stared at my reflection. Taking a deep breath, I decided it was time to go and opened the door to walk out into the kitchen, only to meet Rosalie’s gaze and have her start shaking her head.

  “Get back in there and put on a dress or something,” she told me.

  “No, are you serious?” I asked her with a shocked laugh. “That would be borderline ridiculous.”

  “You want to look your best, don’t you?”

  “Well, yeah, but I don’t want to be pretentious, or come across as pathetic.”

  “What about the white lace dress you wore to church?”

  “No, I couldn’t.”

  “That red one you got when you went shopping with Rachel?”

  “Absolutely not!”

  “Well, maybe the navy sundress with the little eyelets - the one with the asymmetrical hemline?”

  “Exactly how much time have you spent in my closet, Rosalie?!” I exclaimed. “I am beginning to get concerned.”

  “Just go put on that dress,” she told me, gently shoving me back toward the bedroom. I shut the door and looked into the closet, pulling out the navy sundress. I took off my top and jeans and pulled the dress over my head, topping it with a sleeveless white denim vest. When I came back out of the bedroom, I spun around to see if I had Rosalie’s approval.

  “Much better,” she said, nodding. I grabbed my keys and headed for the door, turning back at the last second.

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” I told her. She started laughing and told me to get going before I chickened out. I told her it might be too late, but I closed the door behind me and walked slowly to my car.

  As I opened the driver’s side door, I thought that this must be what it felt like to be faced with that pivotal moment. Either way it played out, my life was never going to be the same. If I panicked and didn’t go through with it, I would have to live with regret. If he responded the way I hoped, things would be wonderful. If things went the other way…

  Well, I really didn’t want to think about that.

  I drove the few miles to Cole’s house in a complete fog. By the time I pulled into his driveway, my heart was pounding. A quick check of the time told me he might not be home yet, but I grabbed my atlas and forced myself to walk up his steps and knock on his door. After a few minutes, I knew my instinct was correct. I thought about calling him, but then I decided to meander back out to the fence and pay my respects to Willa. Maybe in walking out to the gravestones I would work up the courage to say what I was really thinking. I was determined to find the nerve, somehow.

  About twenty feet down the path, Pop suddenly found me, jumping up and tapping his paws against my dress. I scolded him and brushed myself off, but then I knelt down and scratched his head for a moment. I asked him if he thought he could make some room for me in his life, and he licked my hand, so I took that as a yes. The two of us walked to the fence, him occasionally bounding off for short periods before returning to my side. When we got near our destination, I noticed that the path was clear now all the way to the fence, rather than only the jogging trail. As I rounded the final corner, I couldn’t stop myself from gasping.

  The entire area around the grave markers had been cleared, with flowers and bushes planted in a circle around the stones. There were blooms in reds and violets and pale pinks, along with a smattering of yellows and whites. A couple of flowering trees were at the corners. At the center of everything, right in front of the three stones, was a hand-crafted wooden bench. I knew instinctively that Cole must have made it himself, and I smoothed my hand across it imagining the work it must have taken.

  I lowered myself slowly onto the seat and stared around me in wonder. Pop settled himself at my feet, and we sat there for a long time, just the two of us. I couldn’t help but marvel at how quickly Cole had made this happen. Having only been gone a few days, this seemed amazing. Pop whined at me, and I reached down to pet him, ultimately inviting him to sit by me. He hopped up next to me on the bench, and I put my arm around him.

  After a few minutes, Pop suddenly jumped up and took off, disappearing back down the path. I thought about going after him, but decided to wait a few more minutes. I leaned my head back against the bench and looked up at the clouds, letting the wind blow gently across my face. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I reminded myself that Willa had once been in that spot. Somewhere on this piece of property, Willa had reached the end of her fearless journey. I was nearing the end of my journey, too, or maybe the beginning. My heart was pounding with anticipation, but I had Willa’s blood running through my veins, and I knew I could be brave, too.

  “I thought I might find you here.”

  I jumped when I heard Cole’s voice, immediately standing up and turning around.

  “Cole,” I breathed. He looked amazing in his dark jeans and white t-shirt, but then he always did, especially when he had that smile.

  “So, what do you think?” he asked, resting his hand on the back of the bench. I grinned as I turned to look at the flowers again, taking everything in.

  “It’s absolutely breathtaking. I can’t believe you did this.”

  “I had some time on my hands,” he explained. I took a deep breath before I turned to look at him again.

  “Well, it’s incredible,” I told him. “Thank you.”

  “I really missed you,” he said with a smile, moving toward me.

  “I missed you, too,” I answered, right before he leaned down to kiss me softly. As he pulled back, I knew I had to act fast before I lost my nerve.

  “Cole, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I really need to talk to you about something,” I choked out, my voice sounding funny in my own ears. The smile slowly faded from his face as he stared into my eyes.

  “Before you do, there’s something I want to say,” he told me. I shook my head emphatically and bit my lip.

  “Please, just hear me out, okay?” I asked him, trying to inhale again and wondering how I was going to manage to get the words out.

  “Oka
y,” he whispered, standing there resolutely. I absently started twining my fingers together, and he grabbed my hand, causing me to look into his eyes.

  “Listen, whatever it is, calm down. I promise I will hear you out,” he told me. I nodded and looked at the ground.

  You can do this, Camdyn.

  “Okay, here goes,” I began softly. “Right before my grandma died, she told me that I needed to find my roots, and plant them firmly. I remembered her saying those words, but I never gave them much thought until recently. That’s part of the reason I came here, because I thought that if I found out the truth about Willa, I might be able to figure out the things my grandma wanted me to know. Well, the day that you showed me these stones - that was a little bit emotional for me.”

  “Yeah, I remember,” he stated, staring at me intently.

  “When I was reading those stones, the way the letters came out as C.W. Oliver, I couldn’t help but think it was a sign. I know you were skeptical, but it was a feeling I had a hard time shaking. Now, though, there isn’t a doubt in my mind. There is no such thing as coincidence, and that message was meant for me. This was going to be where C.W. Oliver would die.”

  “Camdyn…” he started, but I wasn’t about to let him interrupt.

  “You know, it’s funny, you left a bouquet of lilies in my room,” I chuckled. “Did you know that lilies are usually associated with funerals?”

  “Are you kidding me?” he asked, raking his hand through his hair absently. “I’m really sorry about that.”

  “No, it’s okay! They were beautiful, and that was just the most perfect thing,” I explained. “C.W. Oliver had to die. I don’t want to hide anymore. I am ready to completely live my life, whether I succeed or fail. I have to… No, I choose to bury C.W. Oliver right here, and to plant my roots in this very spot.” I stopped and took a deep breath, staring up at him expectantly, but all I got in return was a confused expression.