by Ashlyn Chase
Remembering where the bakery was, she figured her trip to Portsmouth wouldn’t be a bust after all. She could visit with April and Rebecca—and hopefully enjoy one of those cupcakes.
By the time she reached the bakery, she’d talked herself into buying a whole box full of them and sharing a few with Ethan later. If he was still out, she’d leave them on his doorstep with a note and take the rest home to savor one at a time for week or so. Oh, who am I kidding? They’ll never last. She chuckled to herself.
A few minutes and eight short blocks later, she found herself in front of the bakery. It looked good. The white trim on the front door and windows seemed to be freshly painted and the lettering appeared sharper too. She noticed the ‘A’ in bakery was made by the Triquetra symbol. Cute.
Breezing in, she intended to tell Rebecca how wonderful the place looked, until the fragrances of yeast and cinnamon overwhelmed her and rooted her to the spot. April looked up from the display case.
“Hey, Brigit...It’s Brigit, right?”
“Yes. Hi, April. Are you by yourself today?”
“No. Rebecca is in the back. Do you want me to get her?”
“Don’t interrupt her if she’s busy.” Brigit scanned the case and didn’t see what she was looking for. “I was actually hoping you’d have some of those pumpkin pie cupcakes you brought to the Samhain ritual.”
“Oh, those are great, aren’t they?”
“Yeah. I smelled some guy’s pumpkin muffin this morning and had this overwhelming craving...” As she said the word craving, she was struck by a sudden thought. What if? She talked herself out of it immediately, so as not to become disappointed if it wasn’t a true pregnancy craving.
April didn’t seem to notice. She simply shrugged. “Sorry. We don’t make them after Thanksgiving unless we have a special request. I can make some...”
“Oh, that’s okay. I knew I was taking a chance...”
“Would you like a bear claw? They came out of the oven about fifteen minutes ago.”
Nothing would satisfy the craving besides pumpkin, and Brigit tried to hide her disappointment. “Nah. I’ll just have to order a dozen and come back for them. How long do they take to make?”
April grinned. “I can have some for you in a couple of hours depending on what else Rebecca has planned. Let me check with her.”
As April strolled through the saloon-type door to the kitchen, Brigit looked at the contents of the cabinet more thoroughly. She hoped to find something that would take the place of pumpkin, but nothing appealed.
April returned a couple of minutes later with Rebecca in tow. The happy baker set down a tray of pastries on the counter and strolled around the case to give Brigit a hug. “How are you, sweetie? April said you were out here.”
“I’m dandy. Thinking about ordering those pumpkin pie cupcakes from you, though.”
“I heard. We can do that for you. When do you need them?”
Brigit chuckled. “Ten minutes ago.”
“Awww. I’m sorry. Usually I’m pretty good at predicting who’s coming by and what they’ll want, but I got no pumpkin vibes this morning.”
“Really? You can do that?”
Rebecca grinned and winked at April, who grabbed the tray on the counter and placed a pastry on a paper plate. “These are Ethan’s favorites,” April said.
Brigit’s eyebrows shot up.
Maybe because of the look on her face, April asked. “Or do you call him Aubrey?”
Something zinged through her at the mention of her lover. Real name or witch name didn’t matter. Was he coming here? Is that why they’d made his favorites? Or did all of the witches know about the two of them being together?
April waved the pastry under Brigit’s nose and said, “Have one—on the house.”
“Oh, no. I couldn’t...” She was unable to finish her thought as a wave of nausea swamped her. Her forehead broke out in a cold sweat and she held her stomach. Suddenly, she knew she was going to hurl, so she turned on her heel and dashed out the front door. She only made it to the top step and had to lean over the railing to barf into the bushes.
Rebecca and April followed her outside and placed their hands under her elbows as if she might fall. “Are you okay?” April asked.
“I’m fine.’ A woman walking by crossed the street. “Sorry. I should leave before I give you guys a bad reputation.”
Rebecca chuckled. “Don’t even think about it. Come upstairs and lie down.”
“No. I’m fine now, and I don’t want to be any trouble.”
“You’re no trouble.”
April opened the door wide and Rebecca smiled. “I think I know what’s wrong with you.”
Brigit’s eyes widened. “You do?”
“Come upstairs,” she said and motioned for her to follow. “April can hold the fort for a while.”
“But the bushes...”
“Needed watering anyway,” April said with a grin.
“You guys are incredible,” she muttered. But she obediently followed Rebecca up the back stairs to her apartment. Happily there were no strong odors there, good or bad.
Rebecca led her through the small kitchen and dining room to the living room and said, “Lie down on the couch. I’ll be right back.”
Brigit felt silly. She was perfectly fine now. She didn’t know what had come over her, but it must have been something she had eaten earlier. Maybe the eggs in her refrigerator were past their expiration date.
When Rebecca returned she was holding a long, thin package.
“What’s that?”
“A pregnancy test.”
Brigit laughed. “No. I don’t need that.”
Rebecca tipped her head and the expression on her face practically asked, Oh no? out loud.
“Not yet, anyway,” she added sheepishly.
“Look. I had a quickie in the shower with Dru a while back, and thought I was late about a month later. I got my period before I had a chance to use it. I bought a whole box. Please. Someone should use them before they expire.”
Brigit looked at the package as if it were the broccoli her mother always made her eat.
Rebecca simply held the package out to her. “Have your breasts been tender? Have you been feeling a little tired lately?”
Brigit took it. “Okay, okay. Fine.”
She started to tuck it into her satchel, but Rebecca shook her head. “The bathroom is right down the hall.”
“What? You want me to do this now?”
“Yup.” Rebecca grinned.
Brigit thought she was mumbling under her breath. “Fuck me...”
Rebecca laughed. “I think someone already did.”
Okay. She said, ‘someone’ so she might not know about Ethan and me. It was still important that the baby’s father’s identity remain a secret. She wasn’t about to be accused of ‘trapping’ a happy bachelor into marriage.
A few minutes later, Brigit walked out of her friends’ bathroom with a positive pregnancy test in hand. Part of her was afraid it might be a false positive and wouldn’t let her celebrate prematurely. The other part knew it was true and was leaping around excitedly in her head.
Rebecca didn’t even check the results—apparently the look on Brigit’s face was enough. She jumped into the air, whooped, and then pulled her into a bear hug.
* * * *
Brigit wandered back to the tug boat terminal in a fog. Pregnant! So soon. She should be running around the streets shouting the good news. That meant she wasn’t sterile. That meant she was going to be a mother next September.
That means telling Ethan I don’t need him anymore. That’s what the confusion was about. She would miss him. Really miss him.
She almost hoped he was still on a job, but there was the Mary Sue...and Ethan, standing on her deck.
He spotted her and grinned. She gave him a halfhearted smile and wave. His face fell and he quickly strode down the gangplank to open the gate and let her in.
“What’s w
rong?”
Her lip quivered, and she surprised them both when she burst into tears.
“Whoa.” He hugged her, and then quickly placed his hand at the small of her back and escorted her to his boat. “Come aboard. I’ll make you some tea and you can tell me all about it.”
“There’s not much to tell,” she said. “I feel foolish for bursting into tears. It’s nothing bad.” For you, she realized. Now he could get back to his normal life—dating another long string of lovely ladies who would adore his attention. She was so busy pushing him away, she had barely begun to let herself enjoy his thoughtful attentive nature. His kindness. His love.
What would he say?
Part of her hoped he’d be happy, and another part hoped he would miss her like she knew she was going to miss him.
He waited until she was settled on the bench seat in the ship’s kitchen, then pulled a tea kettle from a cabinet and began filling it with water. He glanced over his shoulder at her. “Maybe I should have offered you something stronger?”
“No!” She coughed and then schooled her expression, realizing she hadn’t told him yet.
He set the teapot down and slid onto the bench beside her. His concern was apparent. He rubbed her back in comforting circles. “Tell me. Whatever it is, I’ll try to help.”
She shook her head. “That’s just it. You can’t. You already did everything I asked you to do.” And more.
He leaned away and studied her face. “I don’t follow.”
“I’m pregnant,” she said matter-of-factly.
He stared in shock for a moment, and then broke into an ear to ear grin. “That’s great!”
She smiled weakly and her watery gaze fell to her lap.
After a long pause, he said, “That’s what you wanted. Isn’t it?”
She took a deep breath. That was what she wanted. Now she was as confused as he seemed to be. She tried to stand, but the table and Ethan were blocking her.
“I—I just wanted you to know. I should leave now.”
“What?” He didn’t move.
“Please let me out.”
“Hell no. Sit your ass down and tell me why you’re not jumping for joy.”
“I—I can’t.”
“What do you mean, you ‘can’t. You mean you won’t.” His tone was agitated.
She considered climbing over the table, but wasn’t about to behave that immaturely. She faced him squarely. “I said I can’t, because I can’t. I don’t know why I’m reacting this way. Yes, I’m thrilled. But I’m also...”
“Also, what?” he prompted.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do. The answer is in there somewhere.” He tapped her on the forehead. “Try.”
She hung her head and barely whispered. “I’m going to miss you.”
He chuckled. “No, you’re not.”
Her gaze shot to his cocky expression. “You asked and I told you the truth. What more do you want?”
He tipped up her chin with his finger and looked into her eyes. “You aren’t going to miss me, because I’m not going anywhere.”
“That’s not what I meant. Now that the mission has been accomplished, I need to honor my word and let you get back to your life. I know we’ll see each other at full moons and Sabbats...”
“That’s not what I meant either. I don’t want my old life back. I want this new life—the one with you in it.”
“But that’s not what we agreed to.”
“Brigit. We never signed that contract. Even so, the last thing I remember was agreeing that we could reevaluate it, if things changed between us.”
“I thought you were just being—you.”
“Um, yeah. I’m not sure what you mean by that, but I seem predisposed to being me—whatever ‘me’ is.”
“You. Your kind, responsible, caring, selfless...self.”
He laughed. “Oh, I’m plenty selfish. But I’m willing to share you with one other person.”
“Huh?”
“Our baby.”
“You mean my baby.”
“Damn it, Brigit. No. It’s our baby. Half your DNA and half my DNA. Yours and mine.”
She opened her mouth about to protest, although she didn’t know what she was going to say. He swooped in and kissed her. His lips were hard at first, then gentled as if he remembered to treat her like a china doll. Well, she was tired of guys acting as if she might break or drifting away when they realized they weren’t going to get the wild monkey loving they wanted from her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave into the passion she’d been hiding for so long. She angled her head and deepened the kiss—delving into his mouth with her tongue and sucking on his.
A moan deep in the back of his throat escaped and he yanked her so close to his side that a piece of paper wouldn’t fit between them. She managed to roll, avoid getting trapped by the table, and climb onto his lap, straddling him.
They kissed so long and so hard she was forgetting to breathe. He broke the kiss, and then he nibbled on the column of her neck. The dizziness remained, so maybe lack of oxygen wasn’t to blame. Something in the back of her mind was trying to break through the pleasant fog.
She had been sad. Why? The pregnancy crashed through her consciousness. Saying goodbye to Ethan. How could she give him up? He was like a drug and she was thoroughly addicted. But just like a drug, that addiction would ruin his life. Their lives. He would come to resent her and the baby for ending his bachelorhood. She had to stop this before it went any farther.
She let go of his neck and leaned away. When he tried to bend toward her, she pushed at his chest. “Stop.”
He straightened and looked confused. “Why? Are you uncomfortable? I have a bed about ten steps from here.” He grinned. “Five if I carry you.”
She groaned. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
She took a deep breath and spit it out. “I will not be accused of trapping a happy bachelor into marriage.”
His look of confusion softened. Then he smiled. “I haven’t asked you to marry me, Bridge.”
Reality slammed into her and she felt like an idiot. “No. You haven’t—but I know you. I think there’s a ‘yet’ following your statement.”
He stroked her arms, almost as if he were comforting a child. “You may think you know me, but the truth is we’ve only been dating for a few weeks. That’s too short a time to consider anything permanent. When I said I wasn’t going anywhere, I meant I wanted to continue as we have been. I’d like to see where it leads—organically. Wouldn’t you always wonder if you didn’t see it through?”
He wasn’t asking for anything more than time. But could she afford that? “Wouldn’t breaking up just hurt more later?”
“Not unless one of us wanted to end it and the other one didn’t. Of course, that sounds like what you want to do now—except to be honest, neither of us want to end it, so we’d both be hurting.”
“You make it sound so logical.”
He laughed. “There’s nothing logical about love, Brigit. We might find some wisdom along the way, but right now I don’t feel like being logical.”
“Oh yeah? What do you feel like doing?”
He slid to the end of the bench with Brigit still on his lap. Then he swiveled free of the table, and at the same time he scooped his hands under her bottom. When he rose, she wrapped her arms and legs around him and giggled.
Without another word, he carried her to his small cabin and laid her on his bed. He covered her body with his and went to work on the buttons of her blouse. She stared into his blue eyes and saw a simmering heat in them. His hands were purposeful and determined as he divested her of her clothes. She pulled at his sweater, and before he got trapped in it he whipped it off over his head along with his t-shirt. Then he stripped off the jeans and boxer-briefs he’d been wearing.
Brigit wondered what his mouth would feel like on her more tender breasts. She didn’t have to wait lon
g to find out. He slid his hand under her bra and popped the snaps as if he’d done it a thousand times. Maybe he had. She felt a stab of jealousy for all those who’d known him before, and she hadn’t expected it. The thought fled as soon as he laved her nipple and sucked it into his mouth. She arched and moaned with the incredible sensations coursing through her.
He was hers for the time being. All hers. And she made up her mind to enjoy the romantic man he had tried to be. The man he really was.
He caressed her other breast while he suckled the first one, then switched sides. She gasped when he pulled her nipples and areolas into his mouth with more suction.
He lifted his head and grinned. “You like that, do you?”
“Yes. I’m afraid I like it a little too much.”
“No such thing,” he said and was about to make the same move when she stopped him with a palm to his forehead.
“I’m sorry. I’m a little sensitive right now.”
“Oh.” He smiled, sympathetically. “Pity. I guess I’ll have to move on to less sensitive parts.” He kissed is way down her torso, giving a little lick to her bellybutton. “Hello in there,” he whispered.
Brigit heard him. The sweetness of his gesture warred with her sure knowledge that this relationship was doomed. She was tempted to cry, but held back. When he reached her most intimate part, she had decided to stop thinking and just lose herself in the moment.
She hadn’t intended to climax, but the moment was on her before she could say, ‘stop,’ and then it was too late. She arched and let out a cry of sheer ecstasy, followed by a shriek of pain.
Ethan must have sensed the difference and raised his head.
“Stop,” she whimpered.
He was beside her in a second. She rolled onto her side away from him and curled into a fetal position. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes involuntarily, but she didn’t want him to see them. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t hers either. It was just dumb luck that she had this stupid disease.
He rubbed her back in slow, gentle circles. “Are you okay?”
She took a deep breath and steadied her voice. “I will be.” The pain was subsiding, but it was still there. She had heard of women who had severe cases where the pain lasted for a day or even two. She prayed to the Goddess that it never got that bad.
