Surrender

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Surrender Page 12

by Rachel Van Dyken


  I never knew a moan could do that to people.

  Make them nearly fall apart in one-point-two seconds.

  All because that moan promised more… and more… with ultimate satisfaction in the process.

  “I was going to say me,” Drew said. “But that works too if you want me to get sexual about it.” His forehead touched mine. “B… I’ve never really given myself to anyone, except for the girl who broke my heart and married my ex-best friend, but even then, it wasn’t…” He heaved a shaky sigh. “This… this thing between us… It feels real. It feels different. You’ve given me only days, and already I’m drowning. Every single time I’m tempted to swim up out of fear of losing myself in the dark depths of what this is, you pull me back under, and I remember why I’m drowning in the first place. It’s because of you. It’s for you. And I just need you to know that right here, in this moment, I would do anything for you, be anything you need me to be. I just want you, Bronte. And I want you to want me.”

  Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m scared of how much I want you.”

  “Then we’ll be scared together.”

  “A famous rockstar… scared?” I teased.

  He locked his eyes on mine. “I’ve never been more terrified. And Will looks like he might murder me in my sleep.”

  I smiled and kissed him again and then again. I lost all track of time as our lips slid against one another, as his hands dove into my hair and tugged. He didn’t feel famous in that moment.

  He felt like Drew.

  A guy I was falling for.

  A guy I wished I had met back when my heart was fully functioning. Now all I had were scattered pieces that would never really fit like they used to.

  But maybe that was why we were attracted to one another.

  Maybe my pieces could fit with his.

  Maybe it wasn’t about fixing what was broken and then handing it over; maybe it was about merging our pieces into one.

  Drew’s tongue invaded my mouth, it took over the kiss to the point of pain and pleasure, and everything mixed in between as I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on for dear life.

  The ocean ceased to exist.

  The sand.

  The world around us faded away, leaving only this punishing kiss, this molding of two mouths, two messy hearts, and wandering hands.

  He pulled back first, a look of awe on his chiseled face. “If we don’t stop, I’m going to get sand in places no man should get sand, and nothing on this damn earth will stop me.”

  I licked my lips, loving that I tasted him there, wanting to sample more of him, everywhere. “Do we have to?”

  He groaned and looked away, blowing air out of his swollen lips. “You’re killing me, and self-control isn’t even close to one of my strong suits. Obviously.”

  “And yet you’ve been doing so well,” I teased.

  He scoffed. “Do you even know the thoughts I’ve been having about you? The stolen glances? The sleepless nights?”

  “It’s been two days.”

  “It’s been too long,” he countered. “And every night when I lay down, I wonder if it would be crossing a line to crawl into your bed and watch you sleep, and then I’m like, ‘Oh shit. Stop sounding creepy,’ so I lie there and stare at the ceiling and wonder if you’re thinking about me the same time I’m thinking about you.”

  “I am. I do,” I said shyly. “I just don’t know how to do this, what this even—”

  “Shh…” He put a finger to my lips. “Just exist right now, and we’ll figure out the rest later.”

  “Will we, though?”

  He shrugged. “All you can do is give it today, and when you’re blessed with another day, give that day too. You give all your days over and over again, and before you know it — you’re living.”

  I pressed a small kiss to his mouth. “For a rockstar, you’re pretty wise.”

  He snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, well, you have to mess up about a billion times then to get as wise as this.”

  He slowly helped me off his body. I shifted my gaze to the side and tried not to stare at his jeans, at the obvious arousal showing beneath them after our make-out session. Not possible, since my eyes kept wandering back.

  “Keep staring, and I’m going to strip you naked in front of the horse.” He adjusted himself and winced. “Do you even realize how bad I ache for you?”

  I chewed my bottom lip and then crooked my finger at him. “I have an idea.”

  “Does it involve me eating some sort of food object off your body?”

  I gave in to the laughter bubbling up. “Um… no, but it does involve your body.”

  “I’m listening.” He crossed his arms.

  “There’s a cave…” I pointed. “…right over there. We could tie up Will next to the—”

  He launched himself at me so quickly that I couldn’t finish my next sentence. His mouth crushed mine in a fast and savage kiss before he pulled back, grabbed Will’s reins without having a panic attack, and said. “Where’s the cave?”

  I’d never seen a man move that speedy in my entire life as he ran with the horse next to him to the cave, tied the reins around one of the rocks — as if that would really stop Will if he wanted to escape — and grabbed the bag from the saddle.

  In seconds, he had a blanket in hand, a bottle of champagne and two plastic flutes, and was setting up camp inside the cave.

  “Please God, tell me I didn’t almost get murdered by that horse to just sit in here and make out with you.”

  I pulled my shirt over my head, terrified he was going to say something about the fact that my body wasn’t model thin, horrified that he was going to see the scar from my appendix, or that he would notice the way my skin wasn’t as tight as it used to be.

  Instead, he cursed and pulled me into his arms, tossing my shirt onto the sand and showing his expertise at bra-unhooking before devouring me in another kiss.

  He pinned me against the side of the cave; the rock wall dug into my ass, but I barely felt it as I worked him free from his jeans with one hand and clung to his neck with my other.

  His mouth opened against mine in a dizzying pant as I gripped him.

  Drew moaned against my neck. “I’m seconds away from embarrassing myself.”

  “You should let me go then.” I grinned.

  A disappointed look flashed across his handsome face before he very slowly released his hold.

  The minute I had freedom, I released him and got on my knees.

  “Holy f—”

  As I slid my lips over him and sheathed his cock with my mouth, hips pumped into my touch as if he couldn’t help it. He was almost too big, not that I was complaining, as I teased and tasted him, sucked him, and wondered how in the world I had come to this place.

  In a cave I used to visit in high school, wishing that someone like Drew Amhurst would come rescue me, to actually tasting him on my tongue and driving him wild.

  “Bronte, I—” He panted and bit out another curse. “—I don’t know how long I can last. I’m seriously—” He cursed again. “I don’t even know my name right now.”

  I took him deep, using my tongue to press him against the roof of my mouth and sucking hard as I drew back a few inches before repeating the motions.

  He tried to push me away, but I tightened my lips, dug my fingers into his ass, and then stayed put as he spent three years of celibacy and groaned so loud that the cave almost shook with it.

  His eyes were glassy when I looked up, and then, still panting, he was pulling me to my feet. Before I could say anything, I was tossed over his shoulder and then gently laid down on the blanket.

  He flicked open my jeans with one hand then tugged both them and my panties together down to my ankles. His hungry look devoured me whole as he whispered in that same sexy rasp. “You ready for orgasm number one?”

  “Out of how many was it again?” My voice was quivering. I was shaking from fear, from lust, from what I’d just done.

  Fr
om what he was about to do.

  “Seventeen in twenty-four hours.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal when I’d never even had one with my ex.

  “That’s a lot.”

  His grin was wicked. “I’m an overachiever. What can I say? And I really, really, really want to make you scream.”

  I gulped. “Don’t be insulted if I don’t.”

  “Don’t be embarrassed when you do,” he fired back, and then, without any warning, his palm was on me, followed by his mouth, and I, Bronte Connors, lasted all but thirty glorious seconds.

  CHAPTER 15

  Andrew

  I was in love.

  Epically.

  Terrifyingly.

  In love with the way she tasted, with the way she laughed, the way she licked— Shit, I was already in so deep.

  The sound of my name on her lips was going to the top of my list as my favorite sound in the world, right next to the sound of her orgasm.

  I still had, what? Sixteen to give? And the only reason I didn’t do more was because of the way she’d looked at me when I was done tasting her.

  It was fear.

  And the last thing I wanted was for her to be afraid of the raw feelings between us or the way I made her respond.

  My body was still shaking from the taste of her on my lips. Hell, my tongue kept darting out in a desperate attempt to find more of her taste only to come back empty.

  After getting her clothes back to rights, I popped the champagne, handed her a glass, and whispered, “Bet you didn’t realize you could scream that loud.”

  She took the champagne and blushed. “Maybe I’m just easy.”

  I snorted. “Nothing about you is easy, trust me. I feel like I’m going to have to give you a kidney or something in order to feast again.”

  She frowned. “Feast?”

  I licked my lips. “Feast.”

  I didn’t think it was possible, but she blushed harder and threw back the champagne in one gulp.

  “Impressive.” I sipped mine and then set it down. Champagne and cider were about the only alcoholic beverages that didn’t have memories of needles, pills, and powder.

  I shuddered.

  “Thank you,” she whispered as another wave rocked against the cliff. “For not making me feel… awkward.”

  Did she even realize how stunning she was? From her dark hair and full lips to her always-wide eyes, as if she was constantly trying to take in the beauty of the world. I was struggling to just take in her beauty. “I’d like to think that I’ll get rewarded for being on my best behavior.”

  She held out her glass for more with a little smirk. “Maybe you will.”

  I pressed a kiss to her cheek and growled against it. “Promise?”

  She didn’t say anything, but her sigh and body language had already told me I might have a bit of a fight on my hands later that night. No problem. I was prepared for an all-out sensual assault.

  And I was only taking one prisoner.

  Her.

  “Thank you… for this.” She tilted her head and then ran her free hand through my hair as if she was curious as if she wanted to comfort me. Or maybe just touch me?

  I went still and let her roam, and then I took the plastic champagne flute from her hand and held it.

  The best part of my day was that she let me.

  That she didn’t pull away.

  That she gave off the impression that this was more than a fling for her too as she laid her head on my shoulder and said, “One day, I want to hear about that baggage.”

  “One day,” I whispered, “I’ll tell you.”

  “Not today?”

  I licked my suddenly dry lips. “I don’t want to ruin the best few moments of my life with my darkness. It’s never fun when you invite your demons out to play.”

  “We could make it fun if you let me fight them.”

  “Small, but packs a punch?” I guessed.

  She looked up at me with those accepting, incredible eyes. “I’m scrappy. I’d win, and I’m beginning to think that I’d kill anything that tried to pull you down when you, Drew Amhurst, were meant to fly.”

  She looked away.

  So, she didn’t see the tears well in my eyes.

  She was too far away to feel the way my heart pounded heavy in my chest.

  And she didn’t know that with those poignant words — with that promise —that one of the bags I’d been carrying, the one that said, You’re worthless, fell from my body and was left in the dust.

  We talked a bit more then rode stupid Will back to Dave, who still refused to look at Bronte like a person and not his next meal.

  I was blasted with numerous calls from Skye, which I ignored, and texts from the guys asking about when I was coming back into the studio.

  I’d been MIA for two days, and last time I had been missing… well, it wasn’t exactly a favorite memory, so they were probably worried.

  So, before I showered the horse off me, I decided the guys needed an update on everything. They were going to give me hell, but at least they’d know I hadn’t spiraled with a bottle of Jack and line of coke.

  No, my new addiction was Bronte, and I knew she would be impossible to quit.

  I tapped the group text.

  Me: I rode Will today.

  Trevor responded right away.

  Trevor: Does his wife know?

  Will: THE HELL YOU DID! Wait; what? Did you mean to type that? Guys, I swear I was home all afternoon.

  Ty: Laaaammmmeeeeee, and cool, bro, you do you!

  I laughed. Of course, Ty would say that. The guys from the band AD2 who lived here too hadn’t responded yet, but I would put my money on Zane saying something next.

  Zane: First, he can’t come up with any songs, and now he’s riding Will. I think we saw this coming, guys. Let’s be honest. Bro swinging both ways, not a bad thing, means you have more fish in the sea!

  Will: For the last time. I. Was. Home.

  Ty: So he came to you, then?

  Zane: I have such an inappropriate response to what Ty just said.

  Ty: Why else would I type it? I was baiting you, and you didn’t even take it! Being an adult has changed you, bro.

  Me: As much fun as it was to scare Will shitless, I rode a horse named Will with Bronte today. And I didn’t die!

  Will: Bummer.

  Me: I’m flipping you off with both hands right now.

  Will: I knew I felt some negative energy somewhere… :)

  Me: Do you even know how hard it was to get on that thing?

  Zane: Gotta be hard to be good… just sayin’.

  Will: Oh shit. You hate horses! You cried at the fair when we were sixteen!

  Me: Awesome, bring up my trauma.

  Ty: I bought you a pretzel to make you feel better.

  Trevor: Wait, didn’t you end up in the hospital?

  I sighed and typed back, but before I could send, Demetri and Alec both chimed in.

  Alec: This may be my favorite text exchange ever. Do tell how he ended up in the hospital after eating a pretzel, and you do know that horses are gentle creatures, right?

  Demetri: It’s like I finally discovered I wasn’t alone in the world…

  Me: Settle down, bird-hater. This is way different. Birds are small. Horses are big. And instead of hiding in a damn trashcan or shitting myself, I got on the beast and rode it like a fucking knight of the Round Table.

  Braden had been added to the conversation…

  Braden: I’m so glad I was added so I can send this…

  He attached a picture of me clutching the reins without Bronte, riding, pale as a ghost, with the most awkward look on my face.

  Demetri: Bro, that’s more white, puny, scared knight than Round Table, just in case you weren’t aware.

  Will: Saving this picture…

  Alec: Can we go back to the pretzel?

  Trevor: He’s allergic to peanut butter, and it was next to one of the peanut butter cookies with peanut butter fros
ting. Got all over the pretzel. He shoved it in his mouth because, according to young Drew, pretzels are the shit. His face puffed up so bad he looked like a balloon.

  Will: I, too, saved that picture.

  Me: Don’t make me send you. The. Picture.

  Will: Send it, and I will CHOKE YOU!

  Ty: Send it, send it, send it.

  Braden: What picture?

  I clicked send and grinned.

  It was the picture of Will with his zit on the Thermos in all his glory.

  Zane: Can I just say I love our group chats? I’m adding in Jaymeson.

  Jaymeson was added to this conversation.

  Jaymeson: THE HELL would you add me to this insane group after I begged to be taken off last time? Oh shit, is that the Thermos picture? LOL LOL LOL nevermind, proceed.

  Zane: See? You’re welcome, world!

  Will: WHY DOES THIS STILL EXIST IN THE UNIVERSE??

  Me: The internet doesn’t forget.

  Trevor: So… now that we have you, when are you coming in to the studio?

  I shifted on my feet and texted back.

  Me: I’ll come in tonight or tomorrow night, depends on a few things…

  Alec: A few things?

  Demetri: Dude, what could possibly keep you from recording? It’s Seaside.

  Me: Calm your bird feathers.

  Alec: Last time you told him that he puked.

  Demetri: Lie.

  Braden: He means my mom. Once he figures stuff out with my mom — BTW, this is me not asking questions because I gave you my word and because in the other pictures, she looks the happiest I’ve seen her, but I’m mentally cleaning my guns.

  Zane: BACK THE HELL UP.

  Alec: WHAT?

  Demetri: BRB. Grabbing popcorn.

  Will: What don’t we know?

  Ty: Hahahaha. Braden’s mom has got it going on.

  Braden: Killing Ty first.

  Jaymeson: That’s some serious game, going after Braden’s mom. It’s also ridiculously stupid, so why am I not surprised? It’s Drew. The universe, it seems, planned this.

  Braden: Long story short, we wanted to go on a quick honeymoon since the tour starts up again in two weeks. My mom has NEVER spent her birthday and anniversary alone, and while she and Amelia are close, it’s always been me who does everything, and well, somehow — and I wasn’t even inebriated, so who knows? — I agreed to let Drew help my mom find her groove. She’s been lonely. He’s had a stupid crush on her since meeting her when he signed me, and because I love her THAT much and see the way she looks at him, I said yes. I regret it every second of every day.

 

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