“Tilly, I –“
“Benjamin,” she began, lightly placing her hand on his arm. “I wanted to thank you for what you have done for me. You gave me a place to stay, food and clothes. You allowed me to teach your children. It has been a gift.”
“Are you vexed for some reason?”
“No, I am truly grateful,” Tilly replied sincerely. “I see now how much you risked. Thank you.”
They stared at each for a long time, unsure what to do next. Finally, she broke the silence. “You would not share so much with me if you thought I worked for your father. Who do you think I am?”
“I do not think you are a spy for my father. You are right. If I did, I would not have shown you these things today.”
Something in his tone caught her attention. “Do you suspect I am a spy for someone else?” she asked. “Exactly how many enemies do you have?”
“The Crown could have sent you, thinking the excise men are not doing their job.”
“No, you don’t believe that. Who is it?” She noticed his reluctance. “If you don’t tell me, I will just ask the servants when we return,” she said, attempting to rise to her feet. “They are a great source of information.”
He grabbed her skirt and tugged her onto the blanket. “Do you remember my tale about the MacDonalds?”
“Yes – quite vividly.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “When Cairen and James met their unfortunate demises, their father sought a truce with my family. He swore that the feud was over. No other MacDonald would raise a hand toward a Campbell, provided we swear the same.” He sighed wearily. “He had one surviving heir, their older brother Richard. He was furious at his father but was forced to abide by the man’s wishes.”
“Do you think I could be a spy for that family, even though the feud is over?”
“When I returned to the castle with you, I learned the old man had died. Iain thinks Richard will finally seek revenge now that he is no longer bound by his father’s rule.”
“And, you think Richard sent me to gather information so he can strike?”
Benjamin was silent for several moments. He idly plucked a blade of grass and tore it to shreds. “Iain and I have considered it,” he said honestly. “However, if I truly believed you were a spy for the MacDonald, I would not have brought you to the MacIvers’ farm today.”
He looked at her. “I know so little about you, yet you know so much about me,” he said. “Tell me something, Tilly. Anything.”
“My mother was a teacher like me,” she said, revealing the first thing that sprang into her mind. “She taught third grade at the local elementary school. I was an only child, so I guess it gave her a chance to experience what it was like to have lots of children.”
“And your father?”
“He made furniture until the factory where he worked went out of business.”
“Are they both living?”
“No. My dad died of a heart attack – I mean, his heart stopped working. Then, my mom died a few months later. The grief was too much for her. She was incomplete without him.”
“You lost your parents, your husband, and your family. You are a strong woman, Tilly Munro.”
“No more so than anyone here. When I hear how some people struggle to survive on a daily basis, I am deeply humbled.” Impulsively, she leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his cheek. “I see great strength in you too.”
Her innocent kiss emboldened Benjamin. He swept Tilly into his arms and covered her lips with his, gently parting them with his tongue. Her heart thudded in her ears. How many times had she longed to kiss him like this? She moaned as she sunk into her arms.
Abruptly, he pulled away from her. He scanned the area until he saw his children. They were running along the top of the ridge above them. They were completely oblivious to Tilly and him.
He returned his gaze to hers. She saw a mixture of desire and fear in his eyes. “What is the matter?” she asked, using every ounce of strength to restrain herself.
“I apologize for my behavior,” he said. “It was inappropriate of me to be so forward. A gentleman should conduct himself in a more respectable manner towards a lady.” He paused and looked at her with such desire that Tilly’s heart fluttered. “I must confess that, every night, I dream of kissing your lips and holding you in my arms.”
A tiny tear escaped one of her eyes and traced the contour of her cheek. “I cannot pretend that I don’t want you, Benjamin,” she said, her voice raw with emotion. “I haven’t felt this way in a long, long time. But, what happens to us? Do I go home? Do I stay here? What happens next?”
Benjamin’s face hardened. He looked as if someone poured cold water down his back. The flames of desire extinguished in his eyes. He grabbed her arm, easily lifting her from the blanket.
”I will not take you like a rutting stag,” he said firmly. “You deserve to be treated like a lady.”
She did not know exactly what that meant. She was about to ask him when he interrupted her.
“Come,” he bade. “We should return to the castle before I change my mind.”
Twenty Eight
It was nearly dark when Benjamin, Tilly, and the boys reached the castle. Benjamin left Tilly and his sons at the entrance. He promised to return later. He told that he wanted to see the horses to the stable and tend to some chores before dinner. In truth, he had a more personal errand that demanded his attention.
After delivering the horses to the stable, he made his way through the forest to the chapel. He quietly slipped inside and took his usual seat at the first pew. He did not know why it was so important to be quiet, but it seemed like the right thing to do in a church. He bowed his head. He could hear the sound of his slow, steady breathing and the soft chirping of a bird outside the chapel. “Mary, I need your counsel,” he whispered. “You always knew what to do.”
He felt hot tears trickle down his face, leaving little trails through the dirt that accumulated there. He did not bother to wipe them away. “She says she comes from the future – an outrageous proposition! Her ways are so foreign, yet not offensive or coarse. She speaks in a manner that is unlike any woman with whom I have ever conversed. She tells me her own opinion, not one that was given to her by a man. I find her to be a fascinating person.”
He admitted, “I found her in unusual circumstances.” He chuckled softly. “Of course, you know what happened. I was lonely. I swear I never did anything like that when we were wed. I never even looked at another woman after I saw you, my bonny bride.”
He lifted his face and stared out the stained glass window. The setting sun illuminated the brilliant colors of gold, blue, and green in the glass. It was a beautiful sight. He could not resist smiling. “She is good with the children,” he said. “She has a gentle hand that reminds me greatly of you.”
He removed a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped away the tears and grime on his face. For some reason he could not explain, he suddenly felt it was important to look presentable for Mary. “I will always love you,” he promised. “You told me to find another wife. I thought you were mad to ask such a thing on your death bed. I never imagined that I would find someone who I could love, so I agreed that I would marry again. Now, I am surprised by the feelings I have for Tilly. I never believed it would be possible to love anyone else but you, my sweet Mary.”
“Is it wrong to want to feel love again?” he asked. “Should I spend the rest of my life alone, in permanent mourning?” He swallowed hard. “Should I let her into my heart or cast her away?”
He heard the leaves rustling in the trees outside the chapel. He watched the last rays of sunshine soften and then disappear into the night. He felt the air grow cooler as the evening approached. He sat very still and waited. He knew that, if he was patient, she would come to him, just as she always did.
He felt a gentle hand upon his shoulder. He knew it was real. The spirit of his beloved was there. “I am listening, Mary,” he said, his voice
cracking with emotion. “Please – “
Deep within his soul, he heard the message. Open your heart, my love, and a sign will appear.
∞
Iain paced in front of the twin fireplaces in the housekeeper’s office. Mrs. Keith and the maid Sarah sat in an old chaise, waiting expectantly. He knew they wondered why he summoned them, but he hesitated. How could he make the necessary inquiry without sounding like a worrisome old lady?
Finally, he turned to Sarah. “I know that Mr. Campbell asked you to keep watch over our guest,” he said. “What intelligence have you gathered about her?”
Sarah glanced nervously at Mrs. Keith, who nodded encouragingly. “I do not know what you want to hear, sir,” she said. “I attend to milady’s needs. We do not share confidences like boon friends.”
Iain wearily rubbed his face. “Surely, she has given you some hint about her past,” he said. He took a seat in a wooden chair beside the chaise. “Has she let slip how she came to be here?”
“She told me she was a governess, as she is now,” Sarah said. Looking at Mrs. Keith, she implored, “Madam, I do not know what information he seeks.”
Mrs. Keith reassuringly patted the girl on the hand. “Mr. MacIver is milord’s dear friend as well as his factor,” she said. “I am sure he would have the same concern about any guest in our household.” She cocked an eyebrow and asked Iain, “Wouldn’t you, sir?”
“Aye, I keep close watch over the family,” he said. “Their safety is my paramount concern.”
Sarah seemed alarmed. “Do you think Mrs. Munro is a danger to the family?” she asked. “Should we all be on our guard?”
He shook his head. “No, child, that is not what I meant,” he said. This was going to be harder than he thought. The last thing he needed was a maid who tiptoed around Mrs. Munro and jumped every time the woman said a word to her. “I wish to know more about her habits, her background. Let us begin with something simple. What does she do with her time?”
Sarah thought for a moment. “Before she began teaching the children, she spent a lot of time in the library,” she said. “She examined every book. It was almost as if she was looking for something.”
Iain found her comment most intriguing. “Do you know if she found it?” he asked.
“No, milady seemed most displeased after she had looked through all the books,” she replied. “Now that she has begun teaching the children, I doubt she will have time to continue her search.” She paused. “She is fond of walks to the chapel and the stable. She speaks often about how relaxing they are.”
“Has she said anything about her past?” he asked. “Has she given any hint about her former home?”
“She sometimes speaks about her family. She is very sad and misses them.”
Iain bowed his head, hoping it would look like a sign of respect for the dearly departed. In truth, he was impatient and frustrated. It was apparent to him that the maid had no new information. Sighing heavily, he rose from his seat. “I thank you for your time, ladies,” he said, bowing slightly. “I would greatly appreciate it if you would continue to be watchful. If she reveals anything about her background, please report it to me straight away.”
Mrs. Keith rose from her own seat and smiled faintly at Iain. “I assure you that my staff will be most attentive,” she said. “Mr. Campbell and you need not worry.”
“Aye, yes, Mr. Campbell…“ he hesitated. How should he phrase it? “Ladies, I would appreciate it if you would not mention this conversation to him or any of the other staff, for that matter. As you say, madam, I am cautious around all guests because of my close relationship with the family. I do not want to unnecessarily raise alarm.”
Iain knew Mrs. Keith was too tactful to question his motive. He accepted her nod as her vow of silence. Bowing again, he exited the room.
He made his way to the kitchen. With a little luck, he could persuade the grumpy cook to make him a late dinner. Perhaps a little food and a lot of whisky could divert his attention from the mystery of Tilly Munro.
Twenty Nine
Tilly awoke early the next morning. She stretched, feeling the effects from yesterday’s lengthy time on horseback. She was not sure if she could ever get used to all that jostling. Then, with a smile, she remembered their passionate kiss. She traced the outline of her lips with her fingertips. Benjamin was a wonderful kisser.
Sighing, she pulled back the bed curtains and climbed out of bed. It felt as if, in the blink of an eye, she left behind a life filled with anguish and an uncertain future without the family she once had. In return, she gained a new life where she was surrounded by children once again. She had formed a bond with a man who she genuinely liked and respected. Could he feel the same way? Was this her future? Did she want to stay here? Would this life make her happy?
Before she could reach any conclusions, Sarah entered her room. The fireplace maid, as Tilly called her, was right on her heels and quickly prepared a fire in the hearth. Judging from the frown on Sarah’s face, she suspected the girl should have been in the room long before she awoke.
“Milady, you have risen early this morning,” Sarah said as she helped Tilly into a robe. “It is barely dawn.”
“Yes, I have been sleeping far too late. I should endeavor to awaken earlier.”
“Would milady like a tray brought to her room? Or, will you be dining in the breakfast room?”
“If it is not too much trouble, I would like to dine in the breakfast room.”
Sarah cast a look at the other maid, who dropped a quick curtsey and fled the room.
As she helped Tilly dress, it was apparent that Sarah was in a fine mood that morning and chattered away about the goings on in the castle. Tilly listened absently until she heard mention of the tutor. “I am sorry. What did you say?”
While she arranged Tilly’s hair, Sarah repeated, “The tutor arrived last night. His name is Daniel Ramsey.”
“Have you met him?”
“Yes,” she said, smiling slyly. Tilly thought she detected a slight blush on the girl’s cheeks. “I prepared him a bit of dinner. He was so hungry after his journey.”
“Does he seem to be knowledgeable?”
“Oh, yes,” Sarah said. This time, her cheeks were a definite shade of red. “He is very fond of learning. He was most happy to hear that you taught me how to read. He told me he would love to continue my education.”
Biting her lower lip, Tilly struggled to maintain her composure at the man’s choice of words. “I am glad to hear that such a learned man is in our midst,” she said. “I hope his knowledge can be a great benefit to Allan.”
“I believe we can all learn from him,” Sarah said, her tone suddenly serious.
Tilly feigned a cough to conceal the giggle that slipped past her lips. She rose from the dressing table and thanked Sarah for her efforts. She fled the room as quickly as possible, fearful she could no longer contain the laughter.
∞
Tilly was surprised to find Benjamin waiting at the top of the stairs. “I hope you slept well, Mrs. Munro,” he said pleasantly, offering her his arm.
“Yes, Mr. Campbell, thank you for your consideration,” she responded in her most proper tone. When he turned toward the stairs, she asked, “Where are you taking me?”
“I find the state dining room to be too formal,” he said. “Let us have our meal in the family’s dining room.”
He guided her down the stairs toward a smaller version of the formal state dining room on the second floor, where they had enjoyed their evening meals. She immediately recognized it as the first room she saw on her tour of the castle with Beth and Mr. Douglas. She chose to remain silent, lest she spoil the mood.
As she glanced around the room, she spotted subtle differences from the 21st century version. The walls were painted gleaming white, with gold molding along the high ceiling. Little vignettes of scenes from Greek mythology were hand-painted on the walls, replacing the gilded pictures that hung in her day. Twin marble
fireplaces on opposite sides of the room provided warmth. The same wooden table that seated twelve stood in the center of the room. Overall, it was the coziest room she had seen in the entire house.
Benjamin placed her at the head of the table and took a seat to her right. She smiled warmly at him. He looked very fine this morning, in his tight, khaki knee britches and navy waistcoat. His white shirt was open scandalously at the throat, revealing a hint of tan skin and coppery chest hair. She remembered what he looked like underneath that shirt and blushed slightly. She wondered if he could hear how loudly her heart was beating.
The footmen silently delivered several dishes to the sideboard and ladled small portions of each onto plates that were then placed before Benjamin and Tilly. When they exited the room, Benjamin grabbed her hand and raised it to his lips. He released it before the door swung open again. Tilly hoped the servants would not notice the rosy glow on her cheeks.
He was quick to dismiss the servants after the last dish was placed on the sideboard. He turned to her and said, “I thought they would never leave. I enjoy talking with you much more whenever we do not have an audience.”
“I do not know if I will ever become accustomed to the presence of servants,” she said, placing the white napkin in her lap. “They always seem to turn up at the most inopportune times.”
“You read my mind,” he mumbled as he stood. Gently caressing her cheek, he kissed her. “I have wanted to do that all morning.”
“All morning?” she asked breathlessly.
“Lass, I wanted to do that the moment my eyes opened,” Benjamin said huskily.
Tilly understood Sarah’s earlier giddiness. “Is this how proper courtship is conducted in 1801?” she inquired.
He returned to his seat. “No. Some couples do not even kiss before marriage.” With a broad grin, he added, “Given the nature of our first meeting, I hope you do not mind my unorthodox methods.”
Her face burned and must have been an amusing shade of fuchsia. She shook her head, unable to form an intelligent reply. It was all very confusing.
Through the Mist: Restoration Page 20
