by K. F. Breene
A chill worked up Sanders’ back. The rest of the men fell silent, no doubt thinking along the same lines. Plenty of people had been horribly murdered recently and had their tongues cut out. Silenced.
As they walked through the trees, the branches closing in on them, the silence pressing down, Burson said, “And now we show that we are capable of beating large odds. We have sent a message. Now we will see what is done with that message.”
Chapter Seven
The day dawned hazy and white. A low-lying fog shifted through the trees and skimmed the ground, making visibility minimal. Shanti stoked the fire, making it burn brighter, turning the mass of white around them a flickering, pale orange. She straightened her back and once again closed her eyes, sucking the essence from the natural life around her. Her Gift was completely rejuvenated, and with Cayan so close stronger than ever in this strange place, but her body still ached and burned. Her muscles had been taxed and her skin would take a while to heal. She recovered faster than others with the help of her Gift feeding off of the natural energy around it, always had, but healing wasn’t an act of magic. It still took time.
“What’s the plan for today?”
Shanti jumped as Cayan’s deep voice broke the tranquil silence. She sighed as the spike of adrenaline subsided and waited for him to pull his dry tarp from the tree, place it across from her on the wet ground, and sit. He wiped the sleep from his puffy eyes but didn’t pat down the raven-colored windstorm of hair sticking up at odd angles around his head.
With a grin, she indicated the rainwater she’d collected last night in his container. “Drink. It’ll help clear away the sleep. I didn’t realize you weren’t a morning person…”
He grunted and reached for the container.
“I don’t want to go far today,” Shanti said, thinking about what lay ahead. “The salve I made last night is working fast on my wounds, but that animal gave me a couple nasty scrapes. I want a day to let it heal before I confront whatever the next nasty surprise might be.”
“I didn’t realize you had such a thorough understanding of healing.” Cayan wiped his mouth as he lowered the empty container.
“All my people did to some degree. A fighter gets hurt—she needs to know the basics of healing. Nature gives us most things we need for that. Rohnan would’ve been able to make something much better, but I know enough to fix myself up.”
He nodded and blinked down at the happily dancing fire. Flames crackled as they engulfed the wood. “And you make a warm fire.”
Shanti huffed out a laugh. Cayan had had trouble getting a flame going last night, and when he did, it was a paltry thing. She’d tried to stoke it up when he wasn’t looking, but the foundation of the fire had been laid poorly—it wasn’t burning hot enough, and with bedtime close, it wasn’t worth fixing. This morning she’d started from scratch, though. Much better.
“I have more experience in the wilds than you. I’m good at surviving.”
“And here I thought I was better than you at everything.”
“Imagine that,” Shanti answered in a dry voice.
Cayan yawned and stretched out his arms. He scratched his chest and sighed, blinking a few times before widening his eyes. He glanced off to the side in a dopey, unfocused stare.
Shanti couldn’t help a lopsided grin as she watched him slowly wake up, hunching in his seat like a child. It was hard to believe that this was the same man who would walk into the practice yard with a straight back and brawny shoulders and demand the attention of every hard, fighting man there. He was just so… cute when he first woke up. So… grumpy and dopey. It was obvious he’d always awoke in safety and comfort, never being startled out of a shivering sleep in the bushes in a strange land by a worrying sound. His warm fires and servants preparing breakfast had spoiled him and it showed.
“I could use some tea,” he said, looking down at the fire.
Shanti let the grin blossom into a full smile at the proof of her thought. “I’ll collect some more herbs now that you’re up.”
He nodded and stared across at her. “So what do we do for the day?”
“Access your Gift and defend ourselves if we have to. We’ll see if the Shadow people come knocking on our door.”
“On our tree…” he corrected absently. His hand rubbed his stomach. “We need food. I’m hungry.”
“Death’s playground, Cayan, can you sit in silence for one moment? You’re worse than a kid with all your demands.”
A smile tweaked his lips. “Make me breakfast, woman. Do your job.”
“Ah yes, these defined tasks your people are so fond of. The men flex while the women do all the work. What a treat to be a woman in your land.”
“I can show you what it’s like firsthand if you marry me.” His blue eyes sparkled with the jest.
Shanti rolled her eyes as she moved his empty container out to a more open area to catch rainwater. At the moment all they had was a drizzle, but it’d probably pick up soon. Unfortunately.
“Speaking of which—” she heard.
Cayan unclasped her father’s ring from around his neck and stood so he could move around the fire. Shanti moved her hair to the side so he could fasten it around her neck. “You should hang on to that. I’m not the rightful owner.”
She ran her finger along the gold chain before touching the ring. Without warning, memories of laughing faces from home sprang up. She could remember so many times when they’d sat around a fire deep in another wood, just like she and Cayan were. It had always been easy and lighthearted, despite the hard training that would always follow. Team and family.
She smiled with the memory.
“What is it?” Cayan asked, watching her intently as he sat back down.
She didn’t bother to shield, allowing him to catch her bittersweet mood at the memories. He’d get these and much more before long—hiding things wasn’t an option when she accessed Cayan’s sublevel of power.
“Just thinking of home,” she admitted. “We had some good times when we trained. We were such a cohesive unit. Anyway.” She wiped the thought away and focused on the present. “You can go check the snare I set last night. I’m sure it’ll have something. I assume you know how to clean and skin an animal—that being a man’s work, and all.”
His dimples made an appearance as he stood. “I should be able to manage that, yes.”
“Wonderful. I boiled the roots already. They’re staying warm by the fire. So we’re just waiting on you.” Shanti pointed to the starchy tubers laid out on a rock a small distance from the flame.
Cayan’s smile burned brighter. “You make me feel like a novice.”
“Because you are a novice. Chip-chop. Get moving.”
“It’s chop-chop,” Cayan laughed as he moved away. “And yes, ma’am.”
* * *
After their breakfast, they moved back into the tree where they were completely sheltered from the dripping leaves and clinging wet of the fog. The heat from the fire gave them enough relief from the cold that they could remove their coats. When ready for the inevitable, they sat opposite each other. Their knees brushed in the confined space and their gazes locked.
They were completely shielded in anticipation of trying to open up and let the other in.
Shanti gave a nervous laugh. “This isn’t a great way to start.”
“I didn’t think anything could be ten times more intimate than sex.”
Shanti’s brow furrowed. “Sharing your soul is what makes sex intimate. Otherwise it’s just a pleasurable exercise.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
“Your women aren’t much for talking?” Shanti badgered, stalling.
“This isn’t fair. I can’t pick on you because of your past. But yes, some of them were. I was more interested in their breasts than how their day went, though.”
Shanti smiled, then felt the familiar pang. Time for the first revealing: “I don’t think I shared my soul with Romie. I thought I had, and
I loved him very intensely, but… Knowing what I know now…”
“He didn’t have as powerful of a Gift, though, right?” Cayan asked in a soft voice. “We cheated, when you really think about it. We stole each other’s secrets; we didn’t share them over years of getting to know each other. It’s a forced intimacy, which is why we both resist it.”
Shanti’s smile was sad. “I had years, though. We didn’t even scratch the surface. Rohnan knows more about me than Romie did, and I’d just as soon punch Rohnan as hug him.”
Cayan’s smile was slow. “Different situation. Romie was the product of young love. Adults share intimacy differently than kids do. Kids are all about first-times and secrets. Adults are jaded—they only realize intimacy is upon them after their soulmate somehow pries them open without their knowledge and learns all their secrets before they can defend against it.”
“You sound wise.”
Cayan laughed. “I do, don’t I? Pretty good for someone who is repeating everything secondhand.”
Shanti shook her head and grudgingly let her shield down. She felt exposed, knowing what was coming. Raw, almost. Bare. “I’ve made the first move, which you can’t feel because your shield is still up.”
“I’m getting there. Don’t rush me.” Cayan’s smile made those dimples stand out, but his eyes were wary. He’d been pushing for this, but now that it was upon them he wasn’t as eager as he’d let on.
“So you proclaimed yourself Chosen?” Shanti asked patiently.
“After a fashion. I tried not to, but I don’t think they’d encountered someone who wanted to enter without the glory of the title. Then that strange clearing messed with my power—I lost control and blasted them.”
“With all your power?”
“Kind of. I felt it rising up and ran back out to the bay so I could release it. They caught the backlash.”
“So, you tried to enter the trials without proclaiming yourself Chosen, then you left the trials, which is supposed to result in death, before scouring them with a painful release of power? No, they probably hadn’t encountered anyone like you before. And after all that, they still waved you through?”
Cayan shrugged. “Mostly, yes. But they’ve paired us together. I agreed not to kill anyone or leave the trials only because if I didn’t, you’d be disqualified. They tethered me to you to make me behave.”
“Ah.” Shanti sighed and shook her head. “We do nothing as it should be done.”
“Of course not. I make rules, I don’t follow them.”
Shanti huffed out a laugh. The expression dwindled as she remembered her conversation with the woman in the clearing. “They said I don’t have the power to make it through. That I’d die in here.”
“They said I had the power, but without the control, I would die. I told them they were incorrect. It was nicer than telling them to go to hell.”
“They can only grant one Chosen.” Shanti threaded a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Fine. They can grant you Chosen.”
“But what about you?” she asked softly.
“They’ll either ignore me, or they’ll attack and die as a result. They’d be stupid to attack, though, and before long they’ll realize that. With the Graygual on their doorstep, and that nameless power gaining entry into the trials by breaking the rules—they’ll want power on their side, and they know we have it. Only a fool would kill a potential ally in their hour of need. Judging by how they monitor their city, they aren’t fools.”
“And the sword?” she asked, knowing he spoke logic, and hoping the Shadow people employed it.
Cayan’s brow furrowed as he glanced at his weapon, lying at the edge of the space to be out of the way, but still within reach if someone approached their shelter. “What about it?”
“They let you keep it? They took mine—part of the rules.”
His expression became a quizzical smile, with his mouth slightly twisted upwards but the brow furrow still in place. “A bit of an oversight on their part.”
Shanti laughed. “Seems like it. Did you not wonder why I didn’t use a sword on that animal?”
He shook his head, his smile slipping a little. “I didn’t think about it. I arrived in that clearing after hearing the roars—all I saw was blood and a giant monster trapping you on the ground. ”
Cayan’s eyes intensified. She felt his mental block lower until concern and a haunting fear bled out of him. Fear of losing her.
One of his shoulders ticked upwards in a small half-shrug. “Might as well do this now. You’ll pick up all these emotions eventually, anyway.”
It was definitely forced intimacy, and that’s what made it so hard. If sex wouldn’t completely complicate everything, she’d suggest trying to find their way into intimacy that way. It was hard to be guarded right after a great orgasm. Assuming he could inspire one.
Shanti’s face heated at the moment his mind touched hers. Her desire and suddenly aching core flowed into his mind unhindered. The embarrassment at having been caught thinking about him leaked over shortly after. His eyes sparked with heat.
“Let’s try that again,” Shanti said hastily, pulling back and taking a deep breath. “Sorry, it’s been a while. My mind wanders when in close proximity with the opposite sex.” It was only a half-lie.
“Your hands can wander, too. Just let me know what you want to touch.”
Clearly he knew it was a half-lie.
“Focus, please,” Shanti berated.
“I am. And imagining…”
Shanti struck out. Her fist clipped off his chin, jerking him to the side, his reaction late because his mind had been in his pants. He laughed and put up his hands. “I submit.”
The way he said it, low and raspy, had her fired up again. Had her imagining the fight they’d have before she forced him to submit, and then what that might yield.
“Damn it—” Shanti rubbed her temples. “This is hopeless. And I can’t fight it out or I’ll undo all the healing I’ve done so far. Why did I get strapped with the burden? Of all the people in our village, why did the Elders choose someone who would struggle every single step of the way—including stuff like this that should be so easy.”
Cayan’s smile dwindled. “That’s the root of it, isn’t it? You’ve always wondered why you?”
Shanti touched his mind with hers, expecting it when he pulled her in tight. Their Gifts entwined, and then wove into something even tighter. Shanti put out her hands. Cayan took them, his skin warm, his touch gentle. Their power delved deeper, merging to the point of pain or bliss—it was hard to define. The world started to dim, hazy at the corners. His heat, and his presence, created a warmth through her middle that spiked the simmer of spice and power. Their Gifts throbbed to the beat of the other’s heart, pulsing within them.
It wasn’t deep enough. This was what it was to mate powers, but she wasn’t deep enough to reach that hold within him, which meant there were more levels to traverse. They were barely halfway, and to be effective, they needed to submit to each other totally.
Pausing, because she didn’t want to go any deeper, and she didn’t want him as far inside her mind as he already was, she said, “Yes, I’ve always wondered. Always. I was different from everyone else, starting at age five. My eyes are different, which is the physical reminder that my power is different. I could use nearly full power early. I chose a Chance that should’ve been a healer. I committed myself to a man my complete opposite without experimenting like fighters generally did, casting myself out further. I learned to fight differently. I tweaked things in a way I thought made more sense. I hated my position, I constantly caused problems… If there was ever a person not meant for a leadership role, given the task of saving her people, it’s me. And don’t get me started on the amount of times I messed up in the journey East.”
“Those that don’t follow the norm usually make the best leaders,” Cayan said seriously. His thumb stroked hers. “Getting into trouble taught me how to stay out of it. I
t made you excellent at silent stalking. Your style, altered, made you the best fighter. Your Chance uses his skill in a way that elevates him above others. And naming a sibling—even though he isn’t a blood brother, he’s as good as—as sensitive as he is, makes for the most loyal, devoted guardian. All the things that set you apart made you ripe for the role you have. That is why you have it—because you aren’t normal. You are exceptional.”
Shanti felt tears well up from some place out of her childhood. Some place rough and painful; a place comprised of uncertainty and fear that constantly hounded her with thoughts of not being good enough. Of not being enough, period.
She hung her head, desperate to believe him.
He unthreaded a hand from hers and gently lifted her chin. His smile was supportive. “Take it from the master of uncertainty, mesasha. You are in the role you were meant for. And if you didn’t second-guess yourself and always strive to be better because of it, you would’ve been dead a long time ago. It’s the doubt that makes your mind agile. It is determination, love and loyalty to your people that makes you push on. Sanders is a hard bastard who thinks people are generally idiots, but he would follow you to the death. There is only one other person that has claimed that loyalty as a leader from him. All those men and boys would follow you, too. All the people you meet along the way that see something of you in themselves, broken and in pain, but pushing on, need you to focus on. To remind them that there is still a fight to fight, and there is still a victory to win. Believe in that, Shanti. Believe in it.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. She nodded silently, not trusting her voice. His eyes drifted to her mouth, but he backed away. His hand fell back down to hers. “Now it’s my turn, I guess. I think you unwillingly let me in a little deeper.”
Shanti closed her eyes and felt his presence within her. It wasn’t just in her mind anymore. It felt like he’d stepped into her body. The spiciness overcame her senses and the tingling warmth floated through her.
It was… pleasant. Comforting. Like a warm blanket and a trusted stuffed animal during a raging storm.
