by Rose Pearson
Something flickered in Lord Donoghue’s eyes, but he nodded slowly, the redness fading from his cheeks.
“Very good,” Hugh continued, finally standing up and shaking Lord Donoghue’s hand. “Thank you for calling on me today, Lord Donoghue. I wish you well.”
The words were torn from his heart, spoken unwillingly, and yet with the understanding that he must do so.
“Thank you,” Lord Donoghue murmured, giving Hugh a slight bow before turning and exiting the room, leaving Hugh alone with only his tortured thoughts for company.
Chapter Fifteen
Molly laughed at something Lord Huntly said, finding him to be just as amiable as she had remembered. The man chuckled along with her, their eyes meeting and Molly felt something shoot through her heart.
The moment was then shattered by Lord Seaworth clearing his throat, as though reminding them both that he was still just as present as before. It was somewhat strange that he had insisted on joining her during her visits with first Lord Dalton – a gentleman she had danced with only the once but who apparently seemed to be more than a little interested in her company – and now with Lord Huntly. She gave Lord Huntly a small, slightly apologetic smile but he did not seem to mind Lord Seaworth’s presence.
“And might I ask what your hobbies are, Miss Newton?” Lord Huntly asked, his light blue eyes piercing her. “I know you are exceedingly good at the pianoforte but is there nothing else that you enjoy?”
“Oh, indeed!” Molly exclaimed, finding it quite delightful that the gentleman was showing her such interest. “I dearly love to read. In fact, I have already been on an outing to visit the London library, which I found to be quite wonderful!” She had gone only yesterday with Lord Donoghue and had found the library to be almost overwhelming, although, she had not felt much for the company of Lord Donoghue. It was clear he did not find the library as interesting as she, and whilst that was no reason to turn away from the gentleman, she had struggled to feel anything other than friendship towards him. Whilst that was quite acceptable in any acquaintance, or even in matrimony, Molly knew that she wanted to find the same spark she had felt with Lord Seaworth. It had been entirely improper to allow her thoughts to linger on Lord Seaworth when out with Lord Donoghue, but she had found herself unable to pull her mind from him. Even now, talking with Lord Huntly, she was more than aware of his presence near them both.
“I did not know that you cared for reading.”
Lord Seaworth’s gruff voice broke into her conversation with Lord Huntly and she turned to him, one eyebrow arched.
“That is because you have never taken the time to ask Lord Seaworth,” she replied, a little curtly as the frustration she felt over his interruption began to bubble over. “Lord Donoghue took me to the library yesterday afternoon since it is the one place in London I have longed to visit.”
He frowned but then turned his face away from her. “I see.” His tone was harsh, his voice cold, and Molly felt heat hit her cheeks. Lord Huntly was witnessing this, and she was more than a little embarrassed.
“Then perhaps, the next time you wish to visit, you would allow me to take you,” Lord Huntly said softly, smiling at her and putting her at ease. “I confess that I am not much of a reader, Miss Newton, but I am sure you could help me find a love for it.”
Molly smiled back at him, feeling a little more at ease. “Thank you, Lord Huntly. I think that everyone can enjoy a good book, so long as it is one that truly captures your attention. I cannot tell you just how many novels I have read where I have been unable to set the book aside until I know just what has happened!” She had not meant to speak with such a passion, but her love of reading bubbled through in her words, making Lord Huntly’s smile spread wider.
“Then I should think it an honor to accompany you,” he said again, getting to his feet as the time for his visit came to a close. “Thank you for seeing me this afternoon, Miss Newton. I do hope I can call upon you again.”
Molly made to nod, only to recall that Lord Seaworth had not yet said anything to her about him.
“Thank you,” she said slowly, not quite sure what to say. “I would like that.”
Lord Huntly grinned, apparently delighted, and took her hand to bow over it. He did not say much else other than to bow towards Lord Seaworth and take his leave of them both. Mrs. Miller, who had been sitting knitting in the corner, excused herself for a moment, saying she would only be a few minutes.
Molly sat down in her chair and let out a long sigh, as an uncomfortable tension began to make its way through the room. Lord Seaworth said nothing, his gaze not lingering on her but settling across the other side of the room.
“You have not given me any indication as to whether Lord Huntly is suitable, Lord Seaworth,” Molly began, a little hesitantly. “Am I to assume that he is not?”
Lord Seaworth jerked, as though she’d tugged him from his thoughts. “Lord Huntly? Oh, I think he is suitable enough. I need to find out a little more about him, but I think he will do.” His gaze traveled across the room towards her, leaving her feeling distinctly ill at ease. “However, that is not what I need to talk to you about.”
“Oh?” Her heart was beating quickly as he got up from his chair, walking towards the fireplace and looking down into the empty grate. Had something happened? Was she about to discover that she had misstepped somehow?
“My brother is gone away for a time,” he said, his voice a little muffled as he spoke his words into the grate. “He has gone to see Miss Marchington with the hope he might propose to her.”
Molly gasped with delight, her eyes widening as Lord Seaworth turned towards her. “Oh, how wonderful!”
“I am glad you think so,” he said, slowly. “We are to be in the house alone for a time, although I would not have allowed him to go had not Mrs. Miller been well recovered. That means, however, that I shall be accompanying you on your trips around town and the like.”
To Molly’s surprise, she did not feel in any way upset or disconcerted by this news, suddenly filled with a deep flowing warmth that wrapped itself around her heart. “I see.” She tilted her head as he looked around at her, feeling that same happiness fill her heart as when she had been playing the piano for him to sing. “I do not find that to be bad news, Lord Seaworth, if that is what you thought. You are not poor company.”
“I am glad to hear you say so,” he mumbled, coming away from the mantlepiece and turning back to face her. “Do you still wish to walk into town this afternoon?”
She nodded, a little confused. “Was that all you wished to say?”
There was a momentary hesitation, but he nodded, making her confusion grow all the more. “Indeed, it was.”
Getting to her feet slowly, Molly began to make her way to the door, her eyes lingering on Lord Seaworth’s face. He was not quite looking at her, something like guilt in his expression but she could not quite understand why. “I shall get ready and be downstairs within half an hour,” she said, as she reached the door, still feeling as though there were something he was not saying to her. “Thank you, Lord Seaworth.”
It was with confusion that Molly changed into her walking dress, finding her mind and heart troubled with what had just occurred. There was something in Lord Seaworth’s expression that told her he was not being entirely truthful, as though he was holding something back from her deliberately, although she had very little idea of what that was. What added to her confusion all the more was that, despite her enjoyment of Lord Huntly’s conversation, she had fought to give him her full attention. It was as though part of her was desperate to remain aware of Lord Seaworth, as though her eyes were determined to drag themselves towards him. It could not be for any other reason that she had been a little concerned over his expression and demeanor, she told herself, recalling just how frustrated and embarrassed she had been with one or two of his comments.
Sighing heavily to herself, Molly pulled on her new gloves, ensured her bonnet was straight and made her way to
the bedchamber door where Mrs. Miller was waiting.
“Are you quite ready, dear?” Mrs. Miller asked, with all the friendly companionship that Molly had come to know so well. “I will make sure to stay a little behind from the two of you as you walk.”
“Oh, please do not!” Molly exclaimed, putting one hand on Mrs. Miller’s arm. “You are not less than either of us, and I am sure Lord Seaworth will not care for you do to such a thing.”
Mrs. Miller shrugged, a small smile playing around her lips. “Regardless, it is what is best I think. I sense there is some discord between you both and perhaps now is the time for unity to be reached. A walk in town might give you both the chance to speak openly, particularly if I remain out of earshot.” Mrs. Miller patted Molly’s hand, evidently seeing her displeasure. “I am not wrong, I think.”
“No, you are not wrong,” Molly agreed, with a heavy sigh. “I am not sure what has got into Lord Seaworth these last days. I often see him with such a brooding stare that I am quite at a loss as to what to make of it. I am not sure whether or not he is pleased with Lord Huntly nor with Lord Dalton, for he did not say a word about them to me!”
A quiet chuckle came from Mrs. Miller’s lips, as though she were privy to a great secret that Molly was not. “I am sure a good, honest conversation will put everything to rights,” she replied, as they made their way down the stairs towards the front door. “Now do hurry along. We do not want to keep Lord Seaworth waiting.”
Much to Molly’s displeasure, Mrs. Miller did just as she had said and kept behind the two of them, even though both she and Lord Seaworth protested that she need not do so. Lord Seaworth appeared even more frustrated than before and Molly chose, wisely she thought, to keep all conversation to herself for the time being.
“Miss Newton,” Lord Seaworth began, after a few long minutes of silence. “I believe I owe you an apology.”
That was not what she had expected to hear from him! Surprised, Molly looked up enquiringly, only to see him study her with something akin to regret.
“I have not treated you particularly well thus far, and I must apologize for that.”
“My lord,” Molly replied, a little astonished. “You have treated me most kindly. In fact, I am to have a ball, which I do not think you particularly intended, but yet you have agreed to it anyway. I have been taken to a great many places for a great number of occasions and have had a wonderful time thus far. What has made you think that you are not treating me fairly?”
The noise of the busy London streets faded as she waited for his answer, more than a little surprised that he had said something so strange. A niggle of worry made her question whether or not she had shown the correct appreciation for what he had done for her thus far, making her open her mouth again to apologize for her possible lack of gratitude, only for him to shake his head and speak again.
“When you told Lord Huntly of your love of books and when you spoke of your visit to the London library with Lord Donoghue, I realized that I know very little about you. I have not taken any time to grow familiar with you. In fact, I cannot think of a single occasion when we have simply enjoyed a conversation about one thing or the other.” His lips thinned for a moment as he pressed them together, clearly frustrated with himself. “For too long, I have seen you as nothing more than a task that must be completed – I must find you a suitable husband, and so I have shunted you from one place to the next with no consideration for your own likes and dislikes. I have not asked you about what kind of gentleman you would most like to consider, and have shown you very little interest in who you yourself are. That has been wrong of me, Miss Newton, and it is something I intend to rectify.”
It was such a long speech – indeed, longer than she had ever heard from him before, and Molly was left entirely mute for some minutes, finding it all quite extraordinary. The way he was glancing down at her – lifting his eyes from the pavement in front to her face and then back again – told her that there was a deep level of uncertainty within him, that he was almost tormented by her lack of response. It was a side of him she had never seen revealed before, for she had never thought him vulnerable enough to apologize. In fact, he often gave off a rather egotistical air, as though nothing was ever of his doing or even his fault. She was not quite sure how to respond.
“Miss Newton?” he asked, his voice a little husky. “Are you….?”
She did not know what he was trying to say but found herself filled with both an appreciation of his frankness and a sympathy for his inner torments. Was this why he had appeared so irritated this last while? Was it because he was changing from the man he had been, the man who cared only for himself, into a gentleman who was learning how to consider others besides himself?
“Lord Seaworth, you are very kind,” she said honestly. “I would be glad to talk with you whenever you wish it, although I will admit to being a little surprised at what you have said. I did not think it possible that a gentleman who himself states he is arrogant, haughty and entirely filled with selfish ambitions to have any consideration of me.”
Her words brought a flush to his cheeks as she reminded him of how he had described himself to her when they had first become acquainted.
“Perhaps I am changing slowly into the person I should always have been, Miss Newton,” he replied, quietly, his gaze fixing on her for a moment as his steps slowed. “It is indeed possible that I have you to thank for that.”
Molly looked up at him, her feet barely moving as she looked into his eyes. There was something unsettling her heart as she did so, something that was beginning to coil its way into her veins, but she did not quite know what it was.
“Now,” he said briskly, breaking their connection and turning his attention back onto the streets. “I think that we should make our way to one of the finest bookshops in London. It is not too far, but if you grow weary we can hail a hackney.” He smiled, his expression free of frustration and bringing a light to his eyes that had not been there before.
“That would be wonderful,” Molly replied, a smile spreading across her face. “Do you enjoy reading, Lord Seaworth?”
He chuckled, offering her his arm. “My dear, I am not quite sure what I like other than the vices that have torn at me for so long. Perhaps it is time I found some new, more respectable hobbies. What say you? Will you be able to guide me in my first foray into the world of reading?”
His light tone made her laugh, aware of Mrs. Miller’s chuckle from just behind her. “Of course, Lord Seaworth,” she replied, laughing. “I would be more than delighted to do so.”
Chapter Sixteen
“Lord Donoghue!”
Molly put on her brightest smile as Lord Donoghue came towards her, dressed in his finery. The ball was already in full swing, but Molly had not yet had her dance card filled, having only just arrived.
“My dear Miss Newton,” Lord Donoghue replied, bowing in front of her and then greeting Mrs. Miller. “I do hope you have a space on your card for me.”
“Of course I do,” Molly smiled, holding out her dance card to him. “I have had a few claimed by Lord Huntly and Lord Dalton, although the latter was rather disappointed not to have a waltz.”
Lord Donoghue’s smile flattened. “Do not tell me that Lord Seaworth is still preventing you from such a thing?”
Mrs. Miller cleared her throat gently, making Molly wince. Mrs. Miller was quietly reminding her that she ought not to speak ill of her host.
“No, I’m afraid he has not yet given me that permission, but I am sure he will in time,” Molly replied, quietly. “It is still sometimes frowned upon I understand.”
Lord Donoghue nodded and signed his name on two spaces. “It is, although I cannot understand why. It is sheer delight to dance with one partner and one partner alone, twirling around the floor in beautiful synchronicity.” He grinned, looking down at her with bright eyes, “however, perhaps Lord Seaworth will change his mind very soon.”
Molly did not quite know what to say, s
eeing the way he practically winked at her but being entirely unaware as to why this might be. Yet again, she felt as though she were meant to know some great secret, but had to admit that it was still kept from her.
“Ah, and I think this is our dance!” he exclaimed, not giving her any chance to question why. “The quadrille. Miss Newton?”
With a gentle nod from Mrs. Miller, Molly took his arm and made her way out onto the dance floor with Lord Donoghue determined to enjoy herself. There was still the somewhat frustrating realization that she did not particularly care for Lord Donoghue in the way that he appeared to care for her – there was no flash of excitement bursting through her veins when she saw him, no stab of heat in her core when he took her hand in his – in fact, there was nothing but an appreciation of his friendship. When Molly had first come to London, she had thought that a gentleman who appreciated her and respected her would do, but now, after the reaction she had experienced when Lord Seaworth had taken her hand to his lips, she was not so certain that she could settle for that any longer.
She and Lord Donoghue were very good friends, that was for certain, but that was all there was to it. Could she be content with that? Would she have to be?
A few dances later, Molly was quite fagged. It was just as well that a short interlude was called, for it meant that she could sit for a time and take the weight off her feet.
“Miss Newton!”
Looking up from her chair, Molly could not help but smile as she saw Lord Donoghue coming towards her, holding a glass in each hand.
“My goodness, Lord Donoghue,” she laughed, as he set one down in front of her. “You are very prompt! Did you know that there was to be an interlude?”
“As a matter of fact, I did,” he replied, sitting down next to her whilst Mrs. Miller remained a short distance away. “In fact, I was hoping that I might have the opportunity to speak to you, which was why I ensured to have both drinks ahead of time.”
