#17 SPARKLE ME
The great party wasn't as great as he was hoping for it to be. There were many people celebrating as it would be the last night of their life, but he was quite absent-minded. “Sunshine” was one of the best clubs in the town, hip, hot and simply “in”. He could go there whenever he wanted, because he was the best friend of the club owner. Now, after having had two drinks, he would usually go to the dance floor and rock the night. But today, he was instead sitting in a private lounge and avoided any contact to girls who were sending him passionate looks.
Sebastian wasn't able to flirt; he wasn't able to celebrate. He would rather skip this party, go outside for a couple of minutes and walk along the snowy park alleys with her. It wasn't because of the party. People were celebrating, the atmosphere was gorgeous and people were loud and excited.
Then his best friend showed up. Julian was always good-looking and in the middle of girly rumours. He could easily get a job as a male model for Calvin Klein or D&G. It was sometimes annoying to go out with him, because Julian attracted all these looks to himself, mostly from girls and women who wanted to at least flirt with him, but also from guys, who were jealous because of his grade of attraction and saw him as the greatest competition around. With time, Sebastian got used to it and hardly noticed this difference between them anymore.
In his current, rather sentimental mood, he looked at his best friend and was thinking how often such girls were not interesting for Julian. Up to now Sebastian hadn't noticed how boring it was for his best friend to be at the centre of attention of a crowd of girls that wanted to get him, touch him, speak with him. Julian’s face was friendly, but being his best friend, Sebastian saw some boredom beneath it. Was Julian really so accustomed to his female fans and was it already the normal state of being for him?
Looking at his best friend, he just remembered some sentences Julian said, which would let one assume that it was indeed normal for him to ignore wonderful girls, because he already had enough of their adoration. Sebastian understood this for the first time today.
What had changed today? Was it possible to change your way of thinking within a day? Was it possible to turn all your values upside down just because of a girl?
-So, how much fun do you have? – Julian asked as he finally reached the personal lounge and was "girl-free".
-It’s OK.
-One of the greatest parties in my club and you are just OK with that. What is wrong with you? –Julian laughed and took a closer look at his friend. – You are either out of your head or you haven't had enough drink.
Sebastian wasn't too drunk and didn't want to drink more.
-I am just not in a mood for a party. I have a feeling that these days are going to be interesting. I expect some good days. Moreover, I don't like to celebrate anymore.
Girls and boys were dancing on the dance floor. They moved like a mass of professional dancers, maybe because most of them were usually partying here together. Black Eyed Peas and other pop and dance stars were singing from the boxes and the dance floor was living its own rhythm. The volume was turned up, the boys were swinging, jumping, and the girls were moving, waving. The party was hot like a spotlight.
Just two fellows were standing motionless, looking doubtfully at this vivid event, whereas the doubts were not so obvious on Julian’s face. Only his eyes were tired. His body was sending opposite signals.
-It is the New Year, dude! Who doesn’t celebrate such an occasion?
Sebastian didn't want to mention Anna and mumbled something unimportant.
Julian gave him a blank look and was slightly curious about this attitude.
-A girl?
-A girl? – Sebastian asked artificially surprised. – No, no girls.
-Yeah, right. If you don’t like to talk about it then just say it directly.
-I don’t want to talk about it.
Sebastian focused on the moving, waving mass of colourful dancers.
Julian didn't look at Sebastian; he was observing the same mass of happy shiny people, which were swinging, moving their bodies, arms, legs and feet.
-Do I know her? – Julian asked unexpectedly.
-I just said that I am not going to talk about it with you.
-OK, calm down! – laughed Julian and instead of sitting down he kept standing up watching the dance floor with a business-like look on his face.
-It is always the same, it repeats itself: a party here, another party there. Sometimes I’d rather walk out and keep on walking without coming back. – said Julian surprisingly.
Until now, they didn't talk much about important things. They were indeed best friends, and from Sebastian's point of view, they enjoyed an uncomplicated life with uncomplicated problems where there was no place for real sorrows.
Sebastian was shocked because it was exactly what he was thinking about. He had never noticed how good his friend was in so-called mind-reading, and it felt a bit strange. They had never talked about it and maybe it was just a coincidence, but it was kind of strange.
-There is a girl, she is a great person, but I don't know what to think about her. – Sebastian admitted after a while of swaying back and forth.
-And what do you feel for her? – asked Julian without looking at his friend, busy observing the dance floor and the bar.
-I don’t know, I like her, I think.
-And what is troubling you? Doesn’t she like you?
Sebastian was annoyed by this point of view. Julian smiled about it a little.
-No, she does like me, I suppose.
-So, where is the problem? So where’s the girl? – Julian still didn't look at his friend; he was busy with other matters. He squinted his eyes and that was the only visible sign for Sebastian that he did give attention to his best friend.
-She is different, not a party girl.
-I thought you don't want to talk about it.
Sebastian mumbled something and then he added:
-I thought it, too. Well, it is not important. Forget about it!
-You have to invite her to your birthday party in March.
-I will, but it will not be a huge party like last year.
-Yeah, for a girl who doesn’t like parties it is already a sign of interest. Go for it, brother, just do your best and you will get it.
With this optimistic outlook, Julian ended up their conversation and went away to check something. He didn't even look back.
Sebastian was sitting alone and observed the happy dancing mass. He already had some ideas for his birthday party and was hoping for her to come. On the other hand, he was afraid that Julian would make a bigger impression on Anna than Sebastian was expecting and the whole connection between them would fall apart. It was his sorrow now.
Here he was, mourning about a day in three months, and he didn't even know what would happen in the next two weeks between him and Anna. Was this another sign of being in love? To plan the eternity without having a short-term plan? But wasn't it so near? In the end, it was just a day after a day after a day and multiplied by ten and then you would look at the calendar and it already was almost March.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, and so life was going to pass by. Sebastian was thinking about Mia. The past spent with her was already gone and he was collecting memories, the future was yet to come and surely, it would bring new hopes as well as some new doubts. Yes, it was complicated. Moreover, the present was so mean that he felt like a love fool now and he would really like realise the idea of Julian: just leave the party and do your thing. It wasn't possible. Even away the party, he wouldn't get another chance to spend his time with Anna today.
Knowing Julian, you were sure he didn't take girls very seriously. He just talked with them about uncomplicated things and he could get the girls he wanted to. Girls were just like his dolls and it was sometimes frustrating to see how he got such a range of enthusiasm from the female side. Otherwise, there were two or three girls whom he treated indeed seriously, bu
t they were just exceptions from the rule. Julian was generally not taking people very seriously.
He was always nice and polite, but he wasn't very serious. He was a womaniser, but he didn't hurt girls, didn't collect them like challenge cups. He was playing fair. What could he do anyway against such an effect, which he caused unwillingly?
Sebastian understood his best friend and thinking it over again and again, Sebastian was sure, he wouldn't switch places. The seats were taken and the cards were already on the table of life. Everyone has got something and can bluff or can be really powerful. Everything is up to you.
Sebastian’s enthusiasm was smashed. Until now, there had never been a girl between them, even if Julian didn't know Anna yet. What would be if Anna would prefer Julian? It could be dangerous. It could be risky. A tricky situation requires special means. Sebastian thought it would be the best if Julian wouldn't meet Anna, at least not now. It wasn't the time and it wasn't the place.
Sebastian decided to make the best of the moment and went dancing. The energetic mass of happy shiny people absorbed him and it helped him to forget his longing for Mia.
Lovefool (Introduction) Page 18
