#66 THE FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST
Mia wasn't afraid of dying. She had thought about it sometimes, mostly when she was on her way home after the meetings with Jonas. She knew he would kill her one day. He had a strict target and he acted according to a consequent strategy.
Julian looked at her and was worried. Mia was so quiet. She barely moved and laid with her closed eyes. She was awake. Her face didn't show any emotion. She was like a rock. However, something was wrong. She was gulping rarely and it wasn't normal for a human being.
-Are you OK?- Julian asked.
-Hmm.. – She mumbled, but she didn't say a word.
-Really? You don’t look that way and you’re not convincing me right now either.
-It’s all right. – She said quietly with her last breath and started to cough without any break.
After a minute, Mia was already coughing up blood. Her face became whiter than a wall and she moved to the side, keeping her head down looking at the floor. Julian jumped like he would have just got an electric shock and in less than a second, he was already by her side, kneeling in front of her.
Mia was trying to breathe, but it was very hard with blood coming out of her mouth. She had to swallow icky and disgusting blood taste. Julian couldn't help her right now, because otherwise he would give up his skills once again. He saw her suffering, opened the window and brought a cup of water.
Mia didn't notice that he left the room for a moment. She was coughing as if she would be close to dying. He had to wait until she was sleeping again to help healing this internal wound. Her face was sweaty and red. She was so exhausted that she looked much older after a couple of minutes. Tears were running from her eyes over her cheeks and nose. She drunk some water, but she spit it out again after a moment. Something stuck in her throat and dried it out. It was impossible to breathe. The following wave of heat surprised her. A terrifying pain in her head gave her the rest and she collapsed.
-Bloody hell! – Julian screamed angrily then he was calm again. - Oh, please, don’t cry. I make your pain less significant. Please, don’t cry.
He couldn't look at her right now. Her pain was his pain. Taking her to a doctor wouldn't help as fast as his skills would.
-I am screwed. – He whispered angrily and with her right hand he pushed her down onto the bed. She was forced not to move. She wanted to get up, she tried to move, but he was clamping her too strong. His hand was like iron: hard and solid. Even if she had been completely healthy, it would have been impossible for her to free herself.
She looked at him angrily and tried to swallow but at the same time, she was still coughing. Then Julian spread his left hand over her lungs and a sapphire-like ray of light came out of it. It went directly into her body and she stopped moving. She was able to swallowed the rest of the mixture of blood and spit sitting in her throat and then she was able to breathe freely again.
Julian was focussed at the ray of light and moved his hand towards her stomach. Then he pulled his hand back. The light disappeared. She stayed calm and didn't move. She observed him with a perplexed look in her face that he had never seen before in his life. She was really in a muddle. She was shocked.
-Don’t move. – He said and she wagged her head.
He put his hands together and the light spread out from the left hand again, this time even stronger. Now she couldn't see his hands, they were both sapphire-like and shiny. All this light went into her body, it was more powerful than before and she felt a comfortable warmth spreading through her body. The new energy spread through her body and eased the pain. Mia felt like her body became stronger. It was so awesome and impossible to describe. She could feel how her body was healing and the blood, she was coughing up a minute ago disappeared. As if he had taken it out of her and thrown it away. This sapphire ray was fascinating. It was the most wonderful colour she had ever seen in her life. Her eyes were bigger and showed her admiration. She was breathing easily; it was even easier than when she was feeling great and healthy. It was impossibly brilliant!
Then the ray of light disappeared and the room was again an ordinary room with daylight coming in through a normal window. She felt a fresh breeze of air coming through the window.
Mia didn't move. She was like a rock: tough, mysterious and motionless. Julian looked into her eyes and saw her admiration. He turned away and wanted to leave, but she said quietly:
-Please, stay. I won’t ask anything.
He turned to her and came quite fast to the bed. He laid down next to her. He closed his eyes and didn't move. Now he was a marble monument.
Mia took a handkerchief, which she found in the bedside cabinet. She was surprised because she couldn't remember it there. But somehow, she was now ready to believe in anything she saw. She felt well, even without medicine, she didn't feel any pain now and she could breathe easily. She stood up, left the room and went to the bathroom. She cleaned herself from the blood from and looked into mirror. She was looking bad. Her eyes were languid and her face was dull. At the same time, her heart was beating stronger. She felt energy inside and she knew everything will be all right.
She couldn't believe what she had just experienced. Julian was no human being and she knew some of his secrets. This magical sapphire light! It was so fairytale-like and Mia felt like in a dream. It was like walking over a rainbow or jumping so high that you could reach the stars or finding a treasure on the moon. She would surely wake up in a couple of minutes and she will be too shy to ask him whether this was real or not. Moreover, she said she won’t ask him anything, so it was how it was. A promise is a promise. Even a dreamy promise...
The water refreshed her and the blood was already cleaned away. There was no trace of anything, which could remind what happened a couple of minutes ago. She even didn't take a towel to make her face dry. She wanted be sure to feel the reality.
Her steps were so insignificant that she felt like flying. She didn't feel any of her wounds anymore. She was still aware of them, but she didn’t feel them. All the slaps were just creatures of her memory.
She went straight back into the room where Julian was lying on the bed. His eyes were still closed. Mia didn't wait at the door, she went right to the bed and laid down next to him. She turned towards him, put her face down on his chest and hugged him with her skinny arms.
Julian didn't move and she didn't care.
-Don’t think about it. Relax. I won’t push you. I won’t ask anything, either. I promised.
Her words were exactly what his soul needed right now. In addition, she was right. He already decided not to tell her the truth, but at the same time, he didn't intend to leave her alone. He had to watch her from far away. He wasn't able to leave her and to ignore her in public. It wouldn't only make her suffer immensely, he would be suffering as well.
Mia repeated her sentences over and over. She felt he was more relaxed then, although he didn't move at all the time. She stroked him a little and he was glad about it. His body was compact like marble, but at the same time gently and pleasant to touch. He wasn't moving as she slowly and gently fondled his chest. He felt her touch even through his clothes. Now, she was the stronger one. She was supporting him without any special tricks. Mia felt how confused he was and she was his medicine. How could he doubt it even for a while?
She painted some invisible signs on him and he tried to guess what she was painting. This game was much better than continuously making plans about their future.
Lovefool (Introduction) Page 68
