#71 FAITHFUL
Mia was right; Julian wanted to trust her from the very beginning. She was so delicate that he always had to be very careful. One wrong movement of him and she would be hurt or even killed. He could crush her like a feather or a little bee. He could clamp her too strong and he even wouldn't notice it. His mentor had kept repeating that great strength requires even greater responsibility. It was true. He had already hurt some people just because he wasn't patient enough. She was too precious to him and he was very messy in the last days. He had too many emotions and thoughts. Up to now, he never had any doubts about what he was doing and for what. Since he met her, he wasn't sure about his behaviour.
His dream occupied his thoughts. He never slept like a normal human being. From time to time he rested at home in the mountains, and he had had this vision. He had never talked about it in detail with anyone of his family.
He has been laying at his place and his eyes were shut. He didn't know now what he was thinking. It was a normal day and he had nothing special to do. When he had opened his eyes, he had seen her face. At first, it was just a diffuse picture. Julian wondered why he wasn't able to see her clearly. She was bent over him and she was looking gorgeous. Her surprised eyes were even bigger than they usually were. Her hair was put together and only some strands of hair were flying in the wind behind her back. Some curls had fallen in her face because of the wind. This wind had been refreshing and brought her smell with it. She hadn't moved, she was just standing there. The sun behind her looked like a crown on her head. It had been almost impossible to look into her eyes, because the sun was dazzling him too much. He wanted to move, but somehow he wasn't able to. His smile died away in his throat like an ugly frog and couldn't jump outside to show on his face.
Suddenly, some clouds appeared on the sky and hid the light of the sun. It became dark outside, like at night. Only the stars were spending some light. Mia was still standing bent over him and she hadn't moved a millimetre. It was strange to him not to be able to move any part of his body. He was captured in a glass shell and she wasn't able to see him trying to move. She was just standing there and looking at him.
She was clearly moved. She tried to smile, but her eyes were sad. Her eyes were full of fire. She was mad. She was angry. She was burning inside and the whole range of her emotions showed down in her eyes. He wanted to ask her why she was so moved. He wanted to stand up and ask her who she was and what her name was. He tried to break free from this glass shell, but it didn't work. It was frustrating for him to lose all his power and to not be able to do anything. It was like a fisher had told him once: you try to swim in a mad, dangerous river and you see the river banks every now and then, but the power of the water forces you to flow with it and drags you down into her deepness with her wet, strong arms that won’t let go. You try to catch breath, but you only get more water into your lungs and you can even hear the river laughing about you. Julian saved this man from drowning. It was very, very long ago. That river had been really dangerous.
This was the same fight. It wasn't a river, which he should challenge; it was a wall of glass, which he had to break. Unfortunately, all his attempts lead nowhere. He was captured, frustrated and she was standing there, outside, and was looking at him.
He tried to focus and read her thoughts, but it didn't work. He saw the range of emotions in her eyes, but he wasn't able to interpret them in any way. As the first tear showed in her eye, she turned around and washed it away with her hand. She wore a white top. She was beautiful. This dress was apparently made of wind and clouds. She looked as if she was covered in a tender mist. Everything was flying in the wind. She was nothing but motion!
Julian remembered her eyes and her face. That is why he recognized her in the drug store. He wanted to contact her, but she disappeared too quickly. When he saw her standing in the street on his way to Jelenia Gora he knew, he had to get her into his car.
Mia’s eyes showed different emotions. She was angry and scared, but she wasn't mad. She was quite calm. She didn't wear these cloudily clothes. Her hair wasn't put together, but fell freely on her shoulders. There was no trace of wind around her. However, she was still very fascinating. And dynamic. And he was still not able to read her.
Julian watched her now, as she was sleeping, and he was stroking her hand. She was so delicate that he always had to be very careful. He had loved her from the very beginning, even though he didn't know who she was.
Lovefool (Introduction) Page 73
