Whoever this person was…they messed with the wrong people.
Chapter 15
Iris smoothed the fancy tablecloth covering her not-so-fancy dining room table and wondered—again—what she was thinking inviting Sundance over as if they were at the very least friends and not two people caught up in a really messed-up situation.
There was no denying that if she hadn’t been attacked, Sundance probably wouldn’t have wasted much time looking in her direction unless it was to make some remark about her behavior and how ridiculous she was being at any given moment.
Of course, that being the case she most likely would’ve told him to go somewhere private and pull the stick out of his butt.
She smiled at that but her nerves were still a mess. She’d been out of her mind inviting him to dinner. A glance at the clock revealed little time to back out and cancel.
Rats.
And with impeccable timing, a knock sounded at the door, nearly causing her to jump out of her skin.
Saaski rose from his spot near the wood burning stove and followed her to the door, his coal-black eyes intent on who was behind it. She gave him a reassuring scratch behind the ears and, after checking to ensure it was indeed Sundance, she opened the door with a shaky smile.
“Hope you’re hungry,” she said, her nervousness showing. She dropped the grin and gestured toward the dining room table. “I popped a lasagna in the oven so I hope you like that sort of thing. I figured it was a fair guess that you would, seeing as Mya made it. Didn’t she do all the cooking when you were kids?”
He shrugged out of his thick jacket and set it aside, his gaze oddly bright. “I like lasagna just fine. You know, you didn’t have to do this—”
“I know that,” she said too quickly, her heart rate tripling for a beat. Oh, for heaven’s sake…was this a preview for the entire evening? Both of them dancing around the awkward silence and stilted conversation? She drew a deep breath and offered a determined smile as she took a seat, indicating he should do the same, which he did. Iris took the lead and dished herself a modest serving. Her appetite hadn’t quite returned yet but she was doing her best to keep eating before she dropped another ten pounds and none of her clothes fit. She waited for him to dish up and take a bite. “It’s good, right?”
“As ever. Mya’s lasagna is my favorite.”
I may have already known that, she thought with a flush. “I can’t cook like this,” she blurted out.
And by his expression, he already knew that. “Good information to know if I ever have the notion of asking you to cook me something.”
She stuffed a large bite in her mouth before she said something equally lame for the sake of filling the silence. She risked a look at him and her heart squeezed. Why did he have to be so handsome? When had he become so amazing? Of course, she would be doomed to fall head over heels for someone who saw her as nothing more than an obligation—
“I tried to talk with Brett Duncan today but he’d already left the office.” Sundance broke into her thoughts, totally unaware of the inner dialogue turning her delicious meal into sawdust in her mouth. He frowned as if something were troubling him, then said, “Do you remember seeing Chad Brown, the new liaison at the Tribal Center at the bar that night? He said he was with Brett but he hadn’t mentioned that he saw you.”
She tried not to let her disappointment show that he only wanted to discuss the case. She swallowed her bite and searched her memory but came up empty. “I don’t remember him, but then, I hadn’t met him yet. He could’ve been there. The bar was wall-to-wall people and it was hard to pick out familiar faces much less those of strangers.”
Sundance nodded. “I don’t like that he didn’t volunteer the information,” he admitted.
“Yeah…but to be fair, why would he? I mean, do you always volunteer your whereabouts to people?”
“I’m not just some random person. He knows I’m investigating this case. He should’ve said something.”
“Perhaps,” she allowed, then added with a slight frown, “He doesn’t seem the type to frequent The Dam Beaver. I don’t know him very well but he seems…I don’t know, like a guy with soft hands.” She remembered Chad from her brush with him at the hospital when he came to visit Sierra and recalled her initial wariness around him. It was on the tip of her tongue to share her first impression of Chad with Sundance, but given the fact that her reaction was likely the result of her trauma, she kept it to herself. It was bad enough Sundance saw her only as a victim, she needn’t compound the situation by confirming that she was damaged. “I’m surprised you and him remained friends all this time. He doesn’t seem the type you’d want to hang out with.”
Sundance shrugged. “He made me laugh and we had some good times. After he left, we ended up like pen pals, I guess. I didn’t actually physically see him again until after high school.”
“Has he changed much from what you remember?”
Sundance gave it some thought before admitting, “I’m not sure. I mean, everyone changes to some degree. He still makes me laugh, if that counts for something.”
She smiled, but uncertainty remained even if she’d made the decision to keep it to herself.
Sundance continued, ignorant of her personal quandary. “He’s helping me out with the bigwigs in the Bureau of Indian Affairs department. I respect anyone who wants to fight on the side of the Native Americans for better treatment, services or whatever it happens to be. He seems to care more than most.”
“And why is that?” she asked, unable to help herself. “He isn’t Hoh, right? Why does he care so much?”
“I don’t know. I think he feels an affinity for the land here. He’s not Hoh but he’s Native American of some sort, I think. Never thought to ask. But he seems to care. And he’s doing a lot of work behind the scenes to help address some of the issues that have been pushed aside on the federal level. He’s a man who gets things done and I like that.”
She digested the information and finally agreed silently that her initial impression of the man had to have been colored by her experience, which made her feel alternately depressed and guilty. She supposed she ought to apologize to Chad at some point for her rudeness the last time they spoke. Iris toyed with her fork, idly wondering if she’d ever be normal again. She caught Sundance’s steady gaze and when she saw something other than professional courtesy, her breath hitched in her chest. She managed to swallow but felt terribly exposed by that gaze. His almond-shaped, deep-set eyes were never something she’d imagined would set her heart to fluttering, but when he was looking at her like he was, she found it hard to breathe.
“I wish you’d never been at that bar,” he said, shocking her with his quiet admission.
How many times had she thought the very same thing? Wishing she’d opted to stay home that night, quietly munching on frozen pizza and washing it down with a beer or two? Enough times to realize that her wishing was a depressing waste of time.
She flashed a short smile before pushing away her plate, unable to force another bit. “Me, too. But if it hadn’t been me, it would’ve been someone else and it eats me up inside that Sierra is going through what I am. It’s hard. Every day is a struggle to find myself,” Iris said, not surprised when her nose tingled, signaling tears weren’t far behind. “But I’m not giving up. I have to believe that it gets better…somehow.”
“I have to believe that, too.”
A watery smile followed as she said, “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It eats at me, my failure.”
“You haven’t failed at anything, Sonny,” she said, overwhelmed by the desire to touch him, even if only to grasp his hand and squeeze it for the pain she glimpsed in his stare. This was a side of Sundance she’d never seen and it humbled her beyond anything she could have imagined. “This wasn’t your fault. You can’t be everywhere at once. Everyone knows you’d do anything to protect your people.” She held his stare, adding softly, “I don’t blame you for this…I never would.”
And when he’d realized he couldn’t pretend not to care this time, he’d walked right back out.
He should’ve stayed. By leaving he’d left her with a predator.
Sundance pulled away but his sense of bone-deep guilt remained. “I’ll find who did this,” he vowed, needing to say something, anything to ease the ache in his heart. “I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll find who did this to you and Sierra.”
“I know you will,” Iris said without a hint of reservation. Her faith in him kept him from drowning and renewed his determination to succeed. She broke out into a smile and gathered their plates. He rose to help. Without asking, she sectioned out some of the leftovers for him to take home. Her consideration loosened the tension knotting his body. Saaski trotted over and she gave him a treat. Sundance watched, pleased to see how well both the dog and Iris took to one another. He’d done one thing right, at the very least. They worked beside one another, making small talk as they made short work of cleaning up after their meal and Sundance found deep satisfaction in the simple, domestic task. Most men were stunned by Iris’s beauty when she had her “face” on as she called it. But Sundance had never much cared for all that goop mucking up what was already perfect. And now, with her clean skin, hair down and loose, even wearing soft, worn leggings and an oversize sweater, she was more beautiful than ever. He imagined touching her smooth skin, tasting her supple lips and allowing her hair to slide through this fingertips. Realizing he’d momentarily checked out, lost in thoughts best left alone, he found Iris watching him with uncertainty.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
He ought to lie. But he couldn’t. Iris deserved honesty even if he didn’t know how to form the words without bungling his intention. He’d never been good at the touchy-feely stuff. Mya was the sensitive one in the family. He’d always been counted upon for the muscle and the cool head; that didn’t help him much at the moment. He forced a grin. “It’s nothing, just a million thoughts buzzing through my head,” he said, annoyed at himself for being such a coward. He didn’t know how to act around Iris when he wasn’t fulfilling a preordained role. Historically, they’d disliked each other immensely. In the past, they’d spar verbally and then go their separate ways, grumbling about the other to whoever would listen—most often Mya.
“I can’t imagine the burden you bear for the tribe,” Iris said, misinterpreting his statement. “Are you having any luck getting funds for another officer?”
“Ah, maybe. It’s too early to tell but that’s one of the things Chad’s been helping with.” His thoughts tripped to Paul Brown and his visit to the clinic tomorrow and he knew he couldn’t remain quiet. “Listen, Chad is going to stop by the clinic tomorrow to give his father, Paul, a tour. I’ll be honest, I don’t like the guy. On the surface he and Chad share that same ‘I’m a likable guy’ quality but it seems like an act with Paul.”
“Well, he’s a federal guy. What can you expect?” Iris quipped, not particularly concerned.
“He wasn’t always a fed guy,” he shared, earning a frown from Iris. “Apparently, he used to be a vet, of all things.”
“That’s an odd leap in career choices.”
“Yeah…”
“So why don’t you like him?”
He shrugged. “Just a gut thing.” Iris seemed to understand but didn’t share her own thoughts. He took that to mean she believed he was overreacting a bit, and maybe he was. This case had him jumping at shadows, suspecting the worst of everyone. Even so, he’d feel a lot more secure knowing Iris and his sister would be on their guard around the man. “Would you mind telling Mya to keep her distance? At least for now until I can get a better handle on things.”
“Sure,” she said, but her gaze remained troubled. Her mouth pinched, almost involuntarily but she covered quickly as if determined to change her mind about something. “We haven’t talked much about the case,” she noted, a faint worry line appearing in her forehead. “I know you wanted to hear about my session with Dr. Seryn.”
“Do you feel okay about her now?” he asked.
She smiled. “Yeah. It’s not what I thought it was going to be like. A lot less intimidating now that I know what I’m going to be doing.”
“How are you coping with the stuff that’s coming back to you?”
She stilled and the easy smile faded. “I haven’t really had any major flashbacks aside from the memory of that guy Brett. Dr. Seryn said that I might have them after repeated sessions.”
“If you need anything…”
“Thanks.”
More silence followed and he realized he should go before he said or did something he shouldn’t. “Dinner hit the spot. Most times I eat a sandwich or a bowl of cereal.”
“I can’t imagine Mya doesn’t keep you stocked with casseroles, too,” Iris teased lightly. “The woman loves to mother.”
He smiled. “She’s a good woman. Someday she’ll make someone a good wife.”
Iris made a face. “And there you go, sounding like the Sundance I know and remember,” she said, though there was a hint of laughter in her voice.
“What did I say?”
“It’s that old-fashioned attitude that women’s values are equal to their domestic skills. Your sister is a talented doctor who keeps this reservation going strong with much personal sacrifice yet you can only find praise in the way she can run a household. Sonny…shame on you,” she chided. “Not all women were cut out for the kitchen, you know.”
“I know that,” he retorted, enjoying the spark kindling to life in her eyes. It was a light he hadn’t seen since the attack. “And thank Great Spirit for that. Otherwise, who would do the laundry?”
She gasped and tossed an oven mitt his way. He ducked in time but not before the second volley of a damp dish towel landed in his face. He pulled it away and lobbed it back at her. She laughed and caught it, her reflexes quick as a cat. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and he drank in the sight like a man dying of thirst. He hadn’t realized how much he’d come to enjoy their little “battles.” Only now, he wished he had the right to pull her into his arms and wage a different kind of confrontation, one that ended with someone on top. His groin warmed as the thought manifested into imagery in his head. He shook it off with effort and reached for the packaged leftovers. The best thing, the smart thing, was to end on a high note. She’d been through a lot; she certainly didn’t need him pawing at her.
When she realized he was ready to leave, her bottom lip caught under her front teeth and he could’ve sworn he read disappointment but it was gone in a minute. “Thank you for your company tonight. It was nice.”
“Yeah, it was,” he agreed. “Maybe we can do it again,” he suggested, testing the waters. When she didn’t quip something offhandedly negative at the idea, he felt a jump of excitement that he was selfish enough to savor. He hefted the warm container of leftovers in his hand. It was time for him to walk away, yet he continued to search for a reason to stay. She was close enough he could reach out and circle her w
aist to pull her to him. He could almost feel the heat of her body against his. He swallowed with difficulty, an appetite for something aside from sustenance fueling his thoughts. She seemed to note the difference in his body language. Her pupils, dilating as her breath hitched, made her eyes black as night.
“Sundance?” she asked, a wealth of uncertainty in her soft voice.
“I—” What could he say? I haven’t always treated you right but I think I may have fallen in love with you a while back and now I don’t know how to tell you? Yeah, that would go over well. Get it together! Forcing a grin, he said, “I really appreciate the food. Mya’s always after me to eat better. Now I can say I have.”
She returned the smile but clearly she’d expected something else. “It’s the least I can do,” she murmured, seeing him to the door, adding once he’d cleared the threshold, “Drive safe.”
He stalked to his Durango, his thoughts in a mess as frustration ate at him. If he’d had the balls to tell her how he’d felt before she was attacked, none of this would have happened to her because she wouldn’t have been at that bar alone.
His only hope for redemption was to find that son of a bitch and put him away.
Or put him in the ground.
And then? He’d figure that out later.
Chapter 16
A familiar well of disappointment and sadness bubbled to the surface as she watched Sundance pull away. For a breathless moment, she’d been sure Sundance was going to kiss her. Of course, that was ludicrous. Mya’s conversation came back to her about Sundance caring for her as more than just a tribal member, but she couldn’t fathom the possibility. He’d never looked twice in her direction before the attack. If anything he’d been more distant than ever. Nothing she’d tried from her female arsenal had worked. He’d been immune to flirting, teasing, blatant suggestion—everything had been met with cool disinterest.
She let herself sink into the sofa, her head falling against the plush cushion with a heavy sigh. Saaski pushed his way between her legs to rest his big head on her thigh. She smiled with true adoration and pride. This dog was the best gift anyone had ever given her. She gave him a good scratch along his rib cage. “Tell me what I should do, you big, scary, beautiful canine,” she murmured. But Saaski merely whined and licked his chops and she chuckled. “All right, I’ll get you a treat but then it’s straight to bed for you and me.”
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