For the next hour, they worked around the apartment, boxing what few things Levi had left around.
Then, with Mrs. O’Devlin on the other side of the living room, Levi stepped over with a cold bottle of water, handing it down to Cole. “Here,” Levi said softly. “It’s not much, but thanks.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” Cole looked pointedly at him.
“What, so you want a favo—” Levi bit his words off, glancing in his mom’s direction.
“You can pretend I’m not here, you know,” she said.
Levi made a face at her. Then he turned back to Cole, looking uncertain.
“It’s not like you have to kiss me,” Cole said under his breath. Except that only seemed to steel Levi’s resolve.
Levi crouched next to Cole, smiling warmly like he was absolutely fond of Cole. Then he leaned in, brushed his lips against the corner of Cole’s mouth, and said, “I love you.”
That... kind of hurt. Cole winced. Levi was definitely lying there, but for a moment, that warm look in Levi’s eyes... It had almost been real.
And Cole had suddenly realized how much he’d missed having Levi around. Having Levi love him like that. He swallowed hard.
What would it feel like if you loved me again?
Cole glanced at Mrs. O’Devlin; there was a faraway look in her eyes. She’d missed his reaction.
“All done?” Cole asked, changing the subject. “Looks like you don’t have anything else lying around.”
Levi looked relieved. “Yeah. I just need to move them all to the mansion, and that’ll be it.”
“I’m so glad you’re back with him, Cole,” Levi’s mom said with bright eyes. “Levi needs someone taking care of him.”
“I do that,” Cole said. “You won’t have to worry about him.”
“That’s great.” Mrs. O’Devlin beamed. “You’ve always been my favorite of Levi’s past boyfriends.”
He had more? Cole glanced at Levi, something growling in his chest. Levi looked away with a wince. But Levi didn’t have any new bonding marks, and he was here, playing Pretend with Cole. He wasn’t with anyone else.
So maybe this wasn’t so bad, after all.
Cole blew out a breath, gathering a couple of boxes in his arms. “Let’s get them moved to the new place, then.”
6
LEVI
“WAIT, so... this is really happening. You and Cole.” Ollie looked owlishly at the old bonding mark on Levi’s neck. “It’s been a week, and you haven’t stopped smelling like him.”
Levi flushed. “It’s complicated.”
In truth, Cole had insisted on marking Levi with his scent. The other day, when Levi had been visiting with his mom, Cole’s scent had been on his skin, left over from their night of passion. They hadn’t planned for it, but Levi had been lucky to have that marking as proof of their relationship.
Cole had insisted on marking Levi every morning after that.
At least, that was what Cole had said.
But each time, when Cole marked Levi at the front door of the mansion, Cole had worn an odd, unreadable look. His expression had almost been... soft. And Levi’s heart had skipped. He’d fled the house right after, unwilling to let himself slip up.
Cole belonged in his past. Not his future.
Except that kiss at his apartment... That had sent tingles up and down Levi’s body.
“You did also spend your heat with him.” Ollie pinned him with a pointed look. Levi’s cheeks warmed.
“I, um. We were being watched.”
Ollie’s eyebrows crawled up his forehead. “Watched?”
Levi glanced down the aisles of Olivier’s Strings, making sure the customers in the shop weren’t looking over. In a lower tone, he said, “We’re just faking the relationship, you know. But that information doesn’t leave this shop.”
Like he’d expected, Olivier’s face fell. “But—but... it’s just a sham?”
Levi shrugged. “I’m staying at my gran’s mansion. The entire place has cameras. And she can look at the feeds in real time on her phone.”
“So you’re faking everything for the sake of your gran.”
“Pretty much.” Levi winced. “I just wanted to borrow her mansion for a year. Having a boyfriend was the quickest way.”
Ollie looked incredulously at him. “That’s it?”
“She’s sick, Ollie! And that mansion’s important to me.”
“That... sounds like a really flimsy excuse to get together with your ex.”
Levi sighed. He knew Ollie wanted to see him and Cole bonding. Ollie had been nudging Levi ever since he’d gotten together with his stepbrother, Eric.
But it wasn’t as though Levi could just drop things and make up with Cole. Everything came back down to Levi’s infertility, the accident, and Levi’s guilt.
Speaking of... he owed Micah a visit. And his stomach twisted, all over again. Especially now that he wore Cole’s scent on him. Cole was supposed to have become Micah’s alpha.
“Look, can I... take my lunch break now?” Levi asked. “I’ve got a book to return.”
Ollie glanced at the clock. “Sure. I can handle the shop myself.”
Levi trudged out of the music shop, knowing the visit was long overdue. If he could, he’d have put it off until tomorrow, or next week. But Micah had sent him a text, asking for his copy of Forbidden Blood back.
After the fire, Micah had moved into an apartment on the other side of town. He’d been doing okay with his son, Levi visiting when he could.
Levi parked, took the elevator up, and pressed on the doorbell. He turned the book around in his hands, trying not to fidget. What would Micah say when he discovered that Levi had taken Cole back as his ‘boyfriend’?
Micah answered after a moment, uneven footsteps behind the front door. He unbolted the lock. Then he peeked out and threw the door open, a smile lighting up his blue eyes. “Levi!”
The thing about visiting Micah was, Levi couldn’t ignore the scars running across Micah’s face, red and blotchy, spreading over his lips and nose and chin. They stretched down his arm, mottling his fingers, too.
See, if you got to know a person after an injury, you wouldn’t know what he was like before.
You wouldn’t have seen the beautiful omega with hope in his eyes, you wouldn’t have seen the way he’d brushed his hair, twirling around in flowing shirts, sighing wistfully at the alphas on TV.
After the accident, Micah had hidden his face for months. He’d brushed on cosmetics whenever Levi had seen him, and he’d stopped sighing at the alphas he used to fawn over.
He’d stopped wearing pretty clothes, he’d stopped going out, and recently, he’d left off the cosmetics, too, hardly smiling anymore.
Micah had all but given up, focusing on raising his son, caring little about himself.
If Levi had never asked Cole over to that party, if he’d stopped Cole and the kids from setting off the fireworks... Micah might still have his old life. He might’ve found an alpha who saw him for who he was.
Now that Micah was forty, Levi was beginning to wonder if Micah would get many more chances at finding an alpha. He swallowed, his chest tight with remorse.
“Come on, now. Stop guilting yourself over these things. You do that every time.” Micah frowned, pulling Levi into a hug. “How are you—Oh. Are you seeing Cole again?”
Levi squirmed. “Kind of. It’s not... permanent or anything.”
Micah sniffed at him. Because of course he still recognized that maplewood scent. “That boy loved you, you know.”
Yeah, Levi knew. He thrust the borrowed book at Micah, changing the topic. “Here you go. Those vampires are creepy as hell.”
Micah grinned and released him. “Aren’t they?”
“I didn’t know you were reading creepy vampire romance,” Levi said. “Do you want a blood-sucker for yourself, too?”
“Ha! No, I don’t. I’m good over here.” Micah wriggled his eyebrows. “But some peo
ple say these vampires exist.”
Levi winced. Well, he’d rather not bump into them.
“Maybe Cole can protect you from the vamps.” Micah laughed. “He’s big and strong, isn’t he?”
“Very.” Levi glanced around the small apartment, trying to get the conversation away from Cole. “I didn’t think you’d be at home today.”
“I got a half-day off from the college.” Micah shrugged wryly. “Sometimes I get the chance to.”
Levi thought back to his part-time college days. He’d been studying, and then he’d stopped after this past semester. He didn’t know where he was going in life, or what he really wanted to do with himself. Studying had only seemed to put off the inevitable.
Unlike Cole, who seemed pretty set with his firefighting job. And Micah, who was already a professor.
“Levi... has anyone mentioned that you smell sweet?” Micah frowned, hobbling away to set his book down. When he turned, his gaze dropped to Levi’s abdomen.
Levi gulped. He’d tried not to think about it. Except he could hear the next-door neighbor’s too-loud radio, and the sun was shining in through the apartment windows, far too bright.
He would’ve thought he was falling sick... but he’d smelled this same honey scent on himself far too many times.
“I might be pregnant,” Levi said quietly, a lump in his throat. He couldn’t be. He didn’t want to go through the grief of losing yet another baby.
Micah’s mouth fell open. “Is it Cole’s?”
And that wistful look was back in Micah’s eyes, the look Micah had worn right after the accident, when he’d had bandages all over his face, and Cole had hugged Levi right in front of him.
It wasn’t fair, Micah having to suffer the consequences of what Cole and Levi had done when they’d been teenagers. It hadn’t been fair, either, that Micah had to watch on the sidelines, never experiencing the attraction Cole held for Levi.
Levi bit his lip, touching his belly. It wasn’t as though any child he conceived would survive. Cole would be under no obligation to stay with Levi.
“If I... told you to take Cole as your alpha, would you?”
Micah gaped at him in horror. “No! I’ve told you once, and I’ll tell you again. I can’t do that to you, Levi. Cole is not for me.”
“But...” Levi bit his lip, his stomach twisting, more so when Micah limped over to him. “I have a few friends. I could set you up on some dates with them.”
If Levi had stopped Cole from setting off the fireworks, if Levi could transfer all of Micah’s scars onto his own body... It just wasn’t fair that he couldn’t.
“I have a son, Levi,” Micah said gently. “York is everything to me. I don’t need an alpha.”
But someday, that seventeen-year-old son of Micah’s would leave and find his own omega. And Micah would be left alone, wouldn’t he?
“Besides, Cole is far too young for me.” Micah smiled lopsidedly. “You’re, what, twenty-seven now?”
“Twenty-six.” Levi shrugged. “You aren’t that much older than us.”
“I’m forty. That’s... far past the optimal child-bearing age, anyway.” Micah glanced at Levi’s belly. “Cole wants that child, doesn’t he? You’re fortunate, you know.”
Levi gulped. He’d never told Micah about the miscarriages.
He took Micah’s hands, remembering when Micah had hired him as a fourteen-year-old to help babysit his son. They’d carried on that employer-employee relationship for years.
To Levi, Micah was... an older brother, someone he loved and wanted the best for.
“Micah,” Levi said, his throat tight with remorse. “I’m sorry about everything. The accident. And also the scars. And I want to help you any way I can. All you have to do is tell me, okay? And if you ever need an alpha...”
“Hush.” But Levi glimpsed the flicker of longing in Micah’s eyes, the hopelessness Micah felt. “I’ll be fine. Now, get on with your day. Have you even told Cole about the baby?”
Levi gulped. “I haven’t.”
Micah turned him to the door, all but shoving Levi out of the apartment. “Then you’ve got things to do, young man. Get going.”
Micah shut the door soundly, and bolted it. Levi bit his lip, uncertain if he’d somehow offended Micah. Should he knock? Or send a message?
The door rattled, as though something had fallen against it. Then, after a while, there came a muffled sob, then another.
Levi closed his eyes, wishing there was something he could do to make up for his mistakes.
7
COLE
“I BOUGHT A PREGNANCY TEST,” Levi said quietly, looking at his dinner plate.
Cole froze, glancing up. It had been a week. Cole had been counting the days. He’d figured Levi might start showing some signs today or tomorrow, but he hadn’t wanted to push.
As discreetly as he could, he sniffed at Levi. He smelled jasmine at first, and his own maplewood scent. And beneath that, there came a faint, almost-undetectable whiff of honey.
Cole’s heart quickened. He recognized that scent; he’d breathed it off Levi’s skin, a long time ago. But he wasn’t sure what Levi felt toward him, so he fought for a neutral expression. “When are you taking the test?”
Levi shrugged jerkily. “After dinner, I guess.”
But that honey scent meant Levi was pregnant. Probably. Cole swallowed, looking at his plate of half-finished food. He wasn’t hungry anymore. He wanted to scoop Levi into his arms.
Or at least, see the results of the test so he knew his nose wasn’t fooling him somehow.
Levi had hardly eaten at all, the spaghetti and meatballs still piled high on his plate. He poked at the meatballs, glancing around the vast kitchen—the mahogany cabinets lining the walls, the granite counters, the slate-and-gemstone mosaic backsplash behind the stove.
“You need to eat,” Cole said. “For... for strength.” He’d almost said, For the baby.
Levi heaved a sigh. “I don’t feel like eating.”
“Will it be better if I feed you?” Cole asked. When Levi looked at him incredulously, Cole tilted his head sideways, toward where a camera probably was.
Levi flushed. “No, that won’t be better.”
He looked cute like that. Cole tried not to focus on Levi’s glasses, his pink lips, so ready for a kiss. Cole swallowed. Then he cut his meatball into halves with his fork, jabbed a hemisphere, and reached across the table with it.
Levi stared at the meatball, then at Cole, his eyes growing wide.
“C’mon,” Cole said, dropping his voice to a growl. “You know you want my balls.”
Levi froze. Then he snorted, loud and rudely. “Your balls, huh?”
Cole fought down a smile. “That’s what it is. I made them with my meat.”
“Oh, gods.” Levi grimaced. “Depending on how you interpret that, it could be pretty gross.”
But he wasn’t looking quite as miserable anymore, and that was what Cole had been after. Gently, he nudged Levi’s lips with the meatball.
Levi huffed, the tiniest smile curving his lips. Cole’s heart skipped. Then Levi closed his mouth around the morsel, taking it into his mouth.
“Yeah, take my meat,” Cole rumbled.
Levi met Cole’s eyes, his cheeks darkening. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am. But swallow before you talk. I don’t want you choking on my balls.”
“Cole! Gods, you’re obscene.” Levi kicked at his ankles, chewing. But he swallowed, he was talking, and he’d even smiled.
Better than the last few nights, when they’d eaten dinner in near silence.
So Cole speared the other half of the meatball, reaching across the table again.
“You should be eating that,” Levi said, eyeing the food. He wasn’t leaning away, though, so Cole traced the round side of the meatball along Levi’s lips, smearing tomato sauce over his skin.
Okay, maybe it did look kind of lewd, like rubbing his blunt tip against Levi’s lips. Le
vi looked up. And Cole pressed the meat lightly against his mouth, teasing him with it.
“If you tell me no, I’ll stop,” Cole said, meaning it.
Levi opened his mouth to answer... except he didn’t. Cole tapped the meatball on the corner of his lips, waiting. And Levi pushed his tongue out, licking at the meatball.
Cole pulled it away. “You’re gonna have to come get it,” he murmured, waving the fork just an inch away from Levi’s mouth. “My balls are all yours if you want them.”
Levi gulped. But he met Cole’s eyes, leaned in, and closed his mouth around that meatball, puckering his lips so very deliberately. Exactly how he’d wrap them around Cole’s cock.
Was that just for show, or...?
Levi blushed, looking away. His mind had gone right into the gutter, too.
Cole’s pulse stuttered, his blood swooping south. Perhaps this wasn’t the best thing to do right now, with that pregnancy test hanging over their heads.
He wasn’t in this fake relationship thing for sex. Well, sex would be nice, but... He wasn’t going to force Levi’s hand just because he wanted to get off.
“Did you like dinner?” Cole asked. “Or did I offend your taste buds with it?”
Levi chewed, then swallowed. “It’s... not bad.”
He picked up his fork, spearing a meatball for himself. Cole watched as Levi ate one morsel, then another, his appetite picking up. He finished all the balls on his plate, and eyed the ones Cole hadn’t eaten yet.
Cole nudged his plate over in invitation.
Levi frowned. “That’s your dinner.”
“And I’m sharing it with you.”
Levi met his eyes, hesitating. So Cole took Levi’s meatball-less plate, and set his own in front of Levi. Tucked into the noodles he’d made, tossed liberally with mushrooms and roasted bell peppers in tomato sauce.
“This isn’t real,” Levi mumbled, the words so soft that Cole didn’t think a mic could pick it up. “You don’t have to try so hard.”
Cole paused. Was he even trying? Or... was all this just an excuse to spend time with Levi again?
Before he could answer, Levi’s expression changed. “I should... get started on the pregnancy test.”
The Pretense (Men of Meadowfall Book 7) Page 5
