Gran held Levi for a long time, just rubbing his back. Levi breathed in her hydrangea scent, holding her close. He wanted to tell her everything that had happened between Cole and himself, but maybe that could wait for another time. He didn’t have the strength to right now.
“We should be headed for the ultrasound soon,” Cole said, his hand warm on Levi’s hip. “Have an appointment at ten.”
Gran straightened ever so slightly. “I don’t want to delay you.”
She couldn’t help glancing at Levi’s belly, though. And Levi felt the exact same coil of trepidation and hope.
Cole cleared his throat. “About the mansion...”
He raised his eyebrows. Gran’s eyes grew round. She wiped off her tears, turning around to rummage in her purse. “That’s right, you asked.”
Then she handed him the keys to the mansion, the gate’s remote and all, and Levi stared. “What’s going on?” he blurted.
“Cole wants to show me the guesthouse repairs,” Gran said, at the same time Cole said, “Just wanted to make sure everything’s fine there.”
Something didn’t seem right. Levi looked from his gran to his alpha, suspicion twinging in his chest.
“I know that look,” Cole said dryly. “It’ll be fine. It’s something good.”
“Cole will take good care of you,” Gran said, a smile lighting up her face.
It seemed as though Cole and Gran had been talking in private for a while. About something they were both excited for, and something that Levi was clearly meant to be in the dark about.
“You’re planning something,” Levi said, nudging Cole.
Cole smiled. “We should be heading to the ultrasound.” Then, as he tugged on Levi to leave, Cole paused. Looked Gran in the eye. “You haven’t actually been ill, have you?”
Gran froze, staring back at him. And suspicion grew in Levi’s chest.
“Well, I guess not,” Gran said sheepishly. “I was ailing from heartache and loneliness.”
Cole snorted. “So that was why neither of us knew what you were suffering from. I told you, Levi.”
Levi groaned. All those years of Gran talking about being ill... He felt a little betrayed, after worrying so much for her. And he’d defended her in front of Cole, too.
“Can you blame me so much, when I want to hear from my grandson more often than not?” Gran looked a little uncertain now.
“But you told me you were ill for years!” Levi frowned.
“Your cousins don’t care about little old me the way you do,” Gran said, sighing. “But I didn’t mention any illness to them, either. Would you have called as often if you knew I was well?”
Levi hesitated. Would he? He hadn’t been calling his mom as frequently as he should’ve been, but he knew Mom was doing fine.
Well, until she’d called him and demanded to know about the gravestones in the forest of her backyard. Levi had been forced to admit the truth, and she’d given him such a scolding that his ears had burned.
Then Mom had shown up at Ollie’s Strings after-hours with a pot of soup, and she’d given him a tight hug, too.
“See,” Gran said. She ushered them out the door. “You’ll have to promise that you won’t disappear on me, now that you know.” She leveled a stern look at them both. “I still want updates on your life, Levi. And you too, Cole. Especially when we’re becoming as close as family.”
She looked meaningfully at Cole, and Levi got the distinct feeling that she was talking about Cole’s secret. Cole only grinned.
“I’ll be in touch,” Levi said exasperatedly. But it was a good feeling to know she wasn’t ill, and... it was probably a wake-up call, to realize that he might’ve taken his gran’s health for granted otherwise.
He pulled Gran into a tight hug. “I’ll call after the ultrasound,” Levi said. “And we’ll get a picture for you if we can.”
Gran’s smile lit up her whole face. “I’ll see you soon,” she said. “I really do want to have a look at that guesthouse. Cole tells me it’s all fixed up wonderfully now.”
“It is.” Levi smiled. “We’re proud of it.”
That guesthouse had been sort of a baby to them both, a project that they’d worked together on. It wouldn’t be the last, but Levi was hoping that... they could have an actual baby to raise together, too.
Then Levi remembered the vase Jenn broke, months ago. He winced. “Remember that tall Asian vase you had in the downstairs den? It... fell over when Jenn happened to pass by. It’s my fault, I should’ve seen her coming. I didn’t think she’d get that far by herself—”
“Oh, that vase,” Gran said, a note of surprise in her voice.
“Anyway, I can pay for it,” Levi said, cringing.
“Cole volunteers to pay for it,” Cole said next to him.
Gran laughed, waving it off. “It’s fine. It was a present from an ex. I won’t particularly miss it.”
“But it’s an expensive vase,” Levi said in horror.
“Oh, get on with that appointment of yours.” Gran winked. “There are more important things in life than an old vase.”
Well, that was a relief. They had been hoping to spend the money on Bryce instead. Cole linked his fingers with Levi’s, jangling the mansion keys. “We’ll be in touch. And I’ll come by to return the keys soon.”
“Take your time,” Gran said. “Some things shouldn’t be rushed.”
Cole smiled, and Levi nudged him all the way to the car.
“What’s the big secret?” Levi pouted. “Gran knows, and you know.”
“You’ll find out soon enough.” Cole kissed him sweetly on the lips, his eyes sparkling. “It’ll be worth the wait.”
The only thing that huge that Cole could be excited about, and that wasn’t the baby... Levi wet his lips, his heart skipping.
“I’m not telling,” Cole said, tucking the keys into his pocket. He was grinning wider, though. “C’mon, we have an appointment to get to.”
THE DOCTOR’S appointment took place at a prenatal clinic in Meadowfall, where lullabies played softly in the background, and pastel murals of rainbows and unicorns filled the reception room walls.
Levi squirmed, holding on tight to Cole’s hand. Despite the couple times they’d been here, he still felt like an impostor, being around all the other omegas with their round bellies.
He and Bryce had passed the four-month mark. Somehow... he hadn’t miscarried yet. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t, and every day when he showered, Levi looked at his abdomen, wondering how much time he had until he inevitably lost this baby, too.
Cole slipped his strong arm around Levi’s back, kissing his temple. “Smith said you have a lower risk now, didn’t she?”
Dr. Smith had narrowed down the reasons for Levi’s miscarriages to four different things: chromosomal problems, heart defects, placental problems, or an incompetent cervix.
Which didn’t make Levi feel any better, but at least he now had an idea why he’d lost his babies.
“A lower risk doesn’t mean no risk at all,” Levi mumbled, settling in a quiet corner of the waiting room. Cole sat next to him, wrapping his arms around Levi, dropping kisses all over Levi’s shoulder. Levi blushed. “Cole!”
“Just kissing my bondmate,” Cole said, nuzzling Levi’s throat, where the old bonding mark was. It had been a while since Levi conceived their very first child. “If this doesn’t go as planned... we’ll start the adoption process, okay?”
Levi bit his lip, wrapping his mind around the idea. Now that Cole had promised to stay with him regardless, he was willing to try it. “You don’t mind?”
“I told you, I want to start on a nursery,” Cole said eagerly. “Remember that adorable plush bunny we saw at Pigeon’s? And that tiny striped tiger outfit? We could all dress up in tiger outfits for a picture for your gran.”
A laugh bubbled through Levi’s chest. “You really enjoyed the picture-taking, huh?”
“Yup. Can’t forget the bumblebee outfits. I
showed Gran the pic we took with the other guys at the station, you know. She was so tickled, I think she peed herself.”
Levi gazed into his alpha’s warm green eyes, part of himself settling into place. He was safe with Cole. He trusted Cole, and maybe, if it were possible... he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this man.
“You’re beautiful,” Cole whispered.
Levi’s stomach flipped. “Sweet-talker.”
“I only tell the truth—you know that.”
Before Levi could answer, the nurse called his name. He jumped. Cole pulled him to his feet, following Levi to the doctor’s office.
Dr. Smith’s office always smelled like hay. She was a beta, with graying blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, and glasses perched on her nose. When Levi poked his head into the office, she smiled.
“How are you?” Smith waved them both in.
“Not so different from last week.” Levi held Cole’s hand, afraid all over again. He’d just been in here, and everything had been fine. Nothing should’ve changed since then.
Smith took him through the routine questions and listened to his heartbeat, as well as Bryce’s. Then she pointed him to the exam table. “We’ll be doing your twenty-week ultrasound now.”
Levi’s heart stuttered. Cole beamed. He helped Levi onto the table, crowding close. Levi nudged at him. “I can manage fine.”
Cole touched Levi’s waist anyway. “But I want to help.”
Dr. Smith laughed. “You’ll help best by giving me some space to work.”
Sheepish, Cole stepped back a little, curling his fingers around Levi’s shin so they were still in contact.
Levi pulled his shirt up to expose his belly. Smith squeezed a dollop of warm gel onto his abdomen, then spread it around with the ultrasound wand.
Levi stopped breathing. Now that Dr. Smith would show them their baby... Would they discover something terrible? What if there had been a reason for all those miscarriages, and it showed up in this child, too?
Instead of the ultrasound image, Levi looked at the medical charts on the walls. He couldn’t stand the thought of finding a defect in his baby, facing the possibility that his body would reject this new life.
Cole sucked in a breath; Levi shrank into himself, scared.
“Is the baby okay?” Cole asked, his eyes glued on the computer screen.
Smith positioned the wand here and there, tilting it, tapping on the keyboard. After a long moment, she said, “It appears to be developing well.”
“I’m not going to miscarry it?” Levi asked in a small voice.
“It looks like your risk of miscarriage is lower,” Smith said, pausing in her exam to smile at him. “There is still a risk, but I think you may see a full-term pregnancy this time around.”
It still wasn’t a hundred percent chance of success, but... maybe he might get to hold his baby in a few months. Levi’s heart pounded.
Cole leaned in, his grip tightening on Levi’s shin. “Levi, look. That’s Bryce.”
Smith flashed a smile. “You’ve named the baby already?”
“We have,” Levi said. He gathered up his courage, and then looked up at the screen.
White speckles moved against a black background. In the middle of it all, Levi glimpsed a curled-up figure. Tiny, with thin arms and closed eyes.
“That’s our baby,” Cole said softly.
Levi’s throat tightened. He’d held his fetuses after he’d lost them, but seeing Bryce on the screen... It was different. Not gory. There was hope this time, because Bryce was still safe in his belly.
Hello, Levi thought. I’m sorry I haven’t spoken to you before. I’ve just been so afraid of losing you, but you’ve heard your other dad saying hi every morning. We’re looking forward to you joining our family.
One day, maybe Bryce would smile up at him and Cole. Maybe Bryce would giggle and totter after Levi, and maybe they’d get to bring him to Gran’s, and Gran would be delighted, too.
Levi swallowed hard, his heart heavy with yearning. Cole squeezed his shin.
“Would you like to see the baby for yourselves?” Smith tilted the wand handle at Levi, inviting.
“I can hold that?” Levi squeaked.
“Yes, you may.” Smith wrapped Levi’s hand around the handle, showing him just how far to tilt the wand, how he could look at Bryce from different angles.
Cole crept closer, eager. Then he wrapped his large hand around Levi’s, and they looked at their baby on the computer screen, Bryce the tiny, perfect child he was.
“It’ll go fine this time,” Cole whispered at Levi. “Just you see.”
“Always so positive.” But Levi smiled, his heart fluttering with hope.
Cole ran his palm up the side of Levi’s abdomen, a slow smile curving his lips.
“Would you like to purchase a printout of the ultrasound image?” Smith asked after a while. “It’ll be five dollars a copy, to be collected at the receptionist’s counter.”
“What about two copies?” Cole asked. “One for us, and one for Gran. I know she has a phone and everything, but this will still be a picture she can hold.”
Levi’s heart melted. Cole cared—not only for Levi, but Levi’s family, too. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve this alpha. “Sure,” Levi said. “We’ll have two copies.”
Later, when Levi was cleaned up and they stepped out of the clinic, Levi tugged Cole over to the car.
“What’s the big rush?” Cole asked, grinning easily.
“I got us a lunch date,” Levi said, hesitating. “With Micah.”
Cole slowed down, his smile fading. “Are you sure?”
They hadn’t glimpsed Micah in the month since they’d gotten back together. Cole still continued to have his nightmares, and some nights, Levi slipped out of the bedroom so Cole could thrash in peace, and not wake up burdened by guilt.
Levi shrugged now, wincing at Cole’s discomfort. “I just thought... it’d be better if we talked. If we can find a way to help Micah, and to solve your nightmares...”
Cole didn’t seem convinced, but he got into the car gamely. “Let’s go.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Anything for a better future with you.” Cole met Levi’s eyes, and Levi’s chest tightened.
Gods, if Cole ever thought about marrying Levi, if Cole wanted to make this official... Levi’s heart pattered. He wasn’t sure it was in his place to ask, though. Maybe when Bryce was born...?
He got into the car with Cole, nervous and excited. If this worked out... it would help to solve Cole’s guilt. And maybe one day, perhaps it would help free Cole of his demons.
26
COLE
OF ALL THE times Cole had stepped into Wy’s Drive-In, this had to be the most nerve-wracking.
He was friends with one of the owners, Wyatt. He’d come here with his friends, and some of the guys from the station. But to meet Micah here... At least Cole was familiar with the place.
“Sorry,” Levi said, eyeing Cole warily. “I just thought... you might be more comfortable here.”
Cole huffed, pulling Levi close. He couldn’t help thinking about the ultrasound, and their baby healthy in Levi’s abdomen. He thought about Levi, always doing his best to try and fix things, putting others before himself even now.
“You’re fine,” Cole said, kissing Levi’s temple. “I just have shit to deal with. Guess I’d never gone about it the right way before.”
He still didn’t know what to say to Micah, that he hadn’t already. But that talk with Gran, about Micah having to seek his own future... Would Micah do that and not blame Cole?
Cole reached into his pocket, fingering the mansion keys to calm his pattering heart. When he’d first run the idea by Gran, she’d been excited. She still was. He hoped Levi would enjoy what he’d planned.
Hell, he hoped Levi would say yes. But until he received his custom order from Meadowfall Dreams, that would have to wait.
“Hey, Cole,” Wya
tt said, stepping up with a smile. He was a slim omega, with bright eyes and a Manager badge pinned to his shirt. “Table for two?”
“Three, actually,” Levi said, looking around the restaurant. “We’re meeting a friend.”
Past the potted bamboos lining the entryway, the restaurant area of Wy’s Drive-In bustled with the lunchtime crowd. The scent of rich pork broth wafted into Cole’s nose, and cutlery clinked.
“Looks like he isn’t here yet,” Cole said, checking all the tables he could see. “An older omega, about this tall... He has a walking stick.”
Wyatt frowned. “I haven’t seen him. Shall I seat you first?”
“Sure. Oh! Wy, this is my omega. I don’t think I’ve introduced you?” Cole beamed, pulling Levi closer. “This is Levi. Levi, Wy. Wy’s married to his stepbrother, kinda like Ollie and Eric.”
Levi waved awkwardly. “I think we met at Ollie’s wedding. Kind of? While I was avoiding you.”
Wyatt laughed. “I think we might’ve met then, yes.”
Cole grinned, remembering Levi all awkward and shy back then, looking away whenever Cole so much as glanced at him. And here they were now, Levi leaning easily into his side, Levi curled up in bed with him every night, his body pliant against Cole.
Levi smelled like jasmine and honey and maplewood, and he was Cole’s. Mostly, anyway.
Cole followed Levi and Wy to a quiet corner of the restaurant, stroking his fingers up Levi’s side.
Wyatt left the table. Cole watched as Wy headed over to the far end of the restaurant, where his alpha, Raph, sat at a table with their three children. Their eldest, Hazel, had on an egg-yellow apron; she was working at the restaurant as one of the staff. It warmed Cole’s heart, seeing Wyatt and Raph with their family. But it made him crave his own, too.
“Is that Wy’s family?” Levi asked, following Cole’s gaze. Wy sat at the table with all of them, and Raph fed him something in a soup spoon. “They seem happy.”
“What, aren’t you happy with me?” Cole teased, nudging Levi.
Levi laughed. “I mean, with their children.”
“Someday, we’ll have all the children, too.” Cole kissed his omega on the lips; Levi beamed. “Here, pick out what you want to eat.” He watched the entrance while Levi pored over the menu.
The Pretense (Men of Meadowfall Book 7) Page 21
