“Oh! I am very thirsty,” Alice says, going over to the table. She picks up the bottle. “It does say ‘Drink Me.’ So I should probably drink it.”
Seriously? I shake my head. Didn’t her parents teach her not to drink from random bottles?
Then again, we’ve been eating and drinking random stuff all day.
Frankie, Robin, Penny, and I watch as Alice takes a sip from the bottle.
“Ahhh!” she cries as her entire body starts shrinking. “Why am I getting smaller?” She’s suddenly a foot high like we are.
Frankie squeals with excitement.
“Oh! I didn’t know anyone else was here!” Alice says, noticing Frankie. Then she sees me, Robin, and Penny. Then the two rabbits. I guess we’re interrupting her story after all.
“How curious!” Alice exclaims, glancing down at herself and her itty-bitty blue dress.
I see her look up at the giant table. I can tell she’s confused.
I’m about to tell her about the magic potion she drank, when Robin rushes over and gives Alice a big hug. Well, a tiny hug.
Robin’s face is flushed. “Alice! Alice! It’s you! Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. This is amazing. It’s you! It’s really you! Alice!”
“What? You know me?” Alice asks, stepping back and looking even more confused.
“Of course we know you,” Frankie says breathlessly. She bites her thumbnail, looking a little shy again. “You’re Alice.”
“Well, I don’t know how you could possibly know that,” Alice responds, her hands on her hips. “We’ve never met.”
“We just did,” Robin says, jumping and clapping her hands the way she does when she’s super excited.
“This place is getting curiouser and curiouser!” Alice says.
And she just got here. Wait till she takes a stroll around the rest of Wonderland.
“Could I have your autograph?” Robin asks. “Please, please, please? I forgot my autograph book at home, but maybe you could sign a piece of paper for me?”
Alice takes another step back from Robin, alarm in her eyes. “So sorry,” she says. “But I can’t help you.”
“You can write on our arms,” Frankie offers. “Do you have a pen?”
“I have a pencil in my pocket,” Penny says, reaching into her jeans. “But it won’t write on skin. I so wish I had my sketch pad.” She’s gazing, mesmerized, at Alice, just like Robin and Frankie are.
Alice is looking at the three of them as if they’ve lost their minds.
“I love your dress,” Robin gushes to Alice.
“I love your dress, too,” Penny says. “And your hair. We’re practically hair twins! Maybe we can form a Blond Hair Club.”
I roll my eyes. This is a little embarrassing. I mean, it IS very cool to meet the real Alice. And sure, my friends are new to this. But I’ve met a lot of fictional characters before.
There’s no way I was this awestruck when I met Snow White.
No way.
Was I?
Maybe.
Alice frowns. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
“Sorry.” I finally speak up, and step forward. “They’re just excited to meet you. I’m Abby, and the redhead is Robin, the girl with the glasses is Frankie, and the other blonde is Penny. And you already know the White Rabbit. Or at least one of them.”
Alice looks at the rabbit who fell in before her. “Well, I wouldn’t say I KNOW the White Rabbit. But I heard him saying he was late for something. I’d never seen a talking rabbit before. So I followed him. And fell down the hole.” Then she looks at the other White Rabbit. “There are two of you?”
Yes, but only one is the REAL White Rabbit. The other is someone in disguise. And I’m going to figure out which is which.
Somehow.
The rabbit who fell in right before Alice is glaring at the other rabbit. “Why are you wearing my clothes and pretending to be me?” he demands.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” the rabbit sitting on the table says. “I’m just me!”
“Pretending to be ME!” the rabbit standing near Alice says.
Wait a minute.
I know which is the REAL White Rabbit.
The rabbit who was sitting on the glass table when my friends and I came in has to be the FAKE rabbit. Because Alice follows the REAL rabbit down the rabbit hole. It’s her story, after all.
“You’re the fake rabbit!” I say, pointing to the impostor rabbit on the table. “You’re the one who tricked us into eating the queen’s tarts so we’d get in trouble!”
“Are you sure about that, Abby?” Robin asks me worriedly.
“I’m sure,” I say, still glaring at the fake rabbit. “So why are you in disguise? Who are you really?”
The fake rabbit sticks out his pink tongue at me. Real mature.
Except he’s not quite the same as he was a moment ago. He’s getting slightly bigger, for one. His white fur disappears. His floppy ears disappear. He’s transforming from a rabbit — into a person. Suddenly, he’s a short, skinny man with a big head and a long, narrow nose. His face is an orange-peach color and his teeth are pearly white.
Oh, wow. Oh, no.
“Ah, back to myself,” the little man says, scratching his arm. “Being a rabbit gets itchy and hot. And carrots are disgusting. Blech. I am never eating another carrot again.”
“Uh … um … what are you?” Penny says.
“I have a better question,” I say. “Who are you?”
He glares at me. “I’m Gluck.”
“Gluck?” Penny says. “What kind of name is that?”
“It’s the kind of name evil fairies have!” Gluck yells.
I shiver. No. No. No. I hate evil fairies! Why do stories always have evil fairies?
“But … but … but …”
Gluck narrows his beady eyes at me. He pulls a tiny walkie-talkie from his coat pocket. “Guards! The thieves are in the hallway! Hurry!”
ACK.
Before we can even think about running and hiding, one of the blue doors bursts open.
All of a sudden, five cards storm the hallway. Oh no oh no. It’s the Three of Clubs and her henchmen.
I glance back at Gluck.
He smirks right at me, looking very pleased. “Gotcha,” he says. “Now you’re trapped!”
“But why?” I ask. “Why are you trying to trap me?”
“You know why,” he says.
Huh? “I don’t know why!”
He smirks again, and then POOF — he disappears.
“There are the thieves!” the Three of Clubs shouts, hitting her club against her palm. “Apprehend them at once!”
“NO!” I yell. The Five of Clubs grabs my arm.
The Six of Clubs grabs Penny.
The Seven of Clubs grabs Frankie.
The Eight of Clubs grabs Robin.
The Nine of Clubs grabs Alice.
“You five girls are under arrest for stealing the queen’s tarts!” the Three of Clubs announces.
“But that’s not fair!” Penny cries. “They weren’t even good! They were sour! And Frankie and Alice weren’t even there!”
I slap my free hand against my forehead. Penny just admitted she ate a tart! In front of witnesses!
Frankie kicks at her guard. “Take that, you piece of cardboard!”
Go, Frankie.
“Off with her head for sure,” the Seven of Clubs growls as he rubs his shin.
“What are you going to do with us?” Penny asks. “I demand to know!”
“Oh dear oh my oh goodness,” says the real White Rabbit, hopping about worriedly.
“Prisoners aren’t allowed to make demands, so shush!” the Eight of Clubs bellows at Penny.
“Let go of me!” Alice says to the card who is gripping her by the arm. “I haven’t stolen anything! I just got here!”
“Sure you did,” the Three of Clubs says. “You are a little girl like the others — you are probably in cahoots.”
> “Cahoots bashmoots!” Alice yells. “This can’t be happening! Dinah! Dinah! Where is Dinah! Attack the cards, Dinah, attack!”
Who’s Dinah?
“You’re coming with us,” the Three of Clubs says. “All five of you tart stealers will be put on trial immediately.”
The cards pull us toward the small door. Noooo!
“Oh dear oh goodness oh dear,” the real White Rabbit says again, watching us go.
“I am sorry we ruined your dream,” Frankie says to Alice as we’re all dragged outside.
Alice tilts her head. “This is a dream?”
“No,” I say. “This is a nightmare.”
Waiting for us outside the door is a horse-drawn carriage with bars all around it. The cards throw me, Penny, Robin, Frankie, and Alice into the back of the carriage and lock the door.
Frankie wraps her hands around the bars. “Let us out right now!” she demands.
“Yeah!” Robin says.
“Can’t we work out a deal?” Penny adds. “My parents are rich! Just name your price!”
The Three of Clubs narrows her dark eyes at us. “I’ve been looking for you thieves all afternoon. Now I’ve caught you. I don’t need your money. The queen will reward me.”
With a jolt, the carriage starts moving.
“At least we’re sitting down,” Frankie says, taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes. “I’m kind of exhausted.”
My heart is pounding. This is terrible. “We need a plan,” I insist as we bounce along the road. “What’s our plan?”
“I don’t know!” Penny cries.
“I wish someone would explain what’s going on,” Alice moans.
“Sorry, Alice,” Robin tells her. “But look on the bright side. This way we can get to know each other! Tell me about yourself. Do you have a BFF?”
“What is a BFF?” Alice asks.
“BFF!” Robin repeats. “A Best Friend Forever? Don’t you have a BFF?”
Alice thinks about that. “Well, I am sort of close with my sister. And my cat, Dinah. But no, I guess I don’t have a Best Friend Forever.”
Aha. Dinah is her cat.
“You can be BFFs with me,” Penny says. Then she gives me a look. “We can even make necklaces. PA necklaces. For Penny and Alice.”
I feel Penny’s eyes burning into me as she says it. I finger my FRA necklace. FRA, for Frankie, Robin, Abby.
Robin is touching her own FRA necklace. Frankie runs her fingers over her FRA necklace, too.
It never occurred to me that our necklaces would make Penny feel left out. It never occurred to me that Penny even noticed our necklaces.
“I think we have bigger things to worry about than necklaces,” Alice points out.
It’s true. The carriage goes over a big bump on the path, and then finally comes to a stop. The Three of Clubs unlocks the door and yanks us out. The cards march us to the castle.
I’ve been to a lot of castles in my time. But this one … this one …
It’s really all red. Is it made out of … candy hearts? I look more closely. It is! Except these candy hearts don’t have sayings on them like the ones we get on Valentine’s Day. I wonder if we’re supposed to eat one of the hearts to get home. I’m thinking about investigating this, when the card holding my arm gives me a shove.
“Into the castle,” he commands.
We’re ushered inside the main hall. It has white walls, a checkerboard floor, and a checkerboard ceiling. I’m getting dizzy.
And then I see them at the front of the room.
The king and queen!
Frankie immediately curtsies.
Oh. Right. I do the same.
Robin and Penny follow suit.
The queen is also a playing card. She is, of course, the Queen of Hearts. And she’s sitting on a big red throne. She has a heart-shaped face, and her dark hair is streaked with gray and coiled up in a bun. A gold crown dotted with jewels sits on top of the bun. She’s wearing a purple velvet robe around her card body and very high-heeled purple velvet shoes. She’s much older than I was expecting. She looks like she’s in her seventies, at least. Beside her, on a gold throne, is the King of Hearts. He’s also a card. His crown is smaller than his head. He’s also old.
“I didn’t know there was a king in this story,” I whisper to Frankie.
“There is,” she says. “But it’s clear who the real ruler is.”
Rows and rows of gold chairs are set up facing the queen and king. All the cards and animals of Wonderland are in the chairs, even the mouse and the duck and the rat and the birds. I see the Duchess holding the piglet in the little yellow blanket. And the fuzzy green caterpillar, who’s still smoking his pipe.
Smoking is allowed in here? Smoking and peanut butter? Aren’t there any rules here at all?
The cards drag us down the aisle to the front of the room. I see the Cheshire Cat resting on a side table. Sitting right in the front row are the Mad Hatter and the March Hare, with the little Dormouse sleeping on top of the Hatter’s hat. The angry orange birds squawk as we pass them. But the nice birds — the duck and rainbow parrots and the pink robin and the pretty blue-and-white bird — smile at us.
“We’re rooting for you,” the mouse whispers.
“Go, Team Girls!” says the blue-and-white bird.
Cliff is there, too. He’s sitting beside the Duchess. And making a peace sign with his fingers. Poor Cliff. I wonder why he always hangs out with the Duchess. Maybe he has nowhere else to go.
There’s a long table set up facing the king and queen. The cards march us over and tell us to sit down at the table. I’m in the middle, with Penny on my left and Alice on my right, and Robin and Frankie on either end.
A guard-card is posted at each side of our table. So much for trying to escape.
The Three of Clubs stands to the side of the queen and king. “The court is now called to order!” she bellows.
The court. The court! THE COURT!
OMG, I’m in court! How cool is that?
I jump in my seat. Penny glares at me for being excited. I can’t help it, though. I’ve never seen a REAL trial before. I have always wanted to see a real trial.
I have always wanted to be the judge at a real trial. I guess I just never expected to be the one ON trial.
“The trial begins!” the Three of Clubs announces.
Alice shifts nervously in the seat beside me.
I feel bad that Alice got mixed up in this. She was supposed to meet all these wacky Wonderland creatures and have all these adventures and now her story is ending right at the beginning.
Unless … well, in the original story she wakes up when she’s in the courtroom, right?
But what if, now that we messed the story up, Alice doesn’t wake up in the courtroom scene? I shiver. What if she never wakes up? What if she’s stuck here forever?
We have to save her.
“Read the accusations against the thieves,” the king says.
The Three of Clubs clears her throat, then pulls a trumpet from her pocket. She blows the trumpet three times and puts it away.
“The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, all on a summer’s day,” she says. “The girls have no hearts, they stole those tarts, and munched them all away!”
Yup, we definitely changed the story.
A collective gasp rises in the courtroom. Everyone is whispering and pointing at us. My cheeks burn.
“These five girls — Abby, Frankie, Robin, Penny, and Alice — are thieves!” the Three of Clubs continues. “They have been stealing food and drink from Wonderland all day long. I saw them stealing the queen’s tarts with my own two eyes!”
“Terrible!” the Mad Hatter clucks.
“It’s true,” I hear the Duchess say, covering the piglet-baby’s ears. “They spilled my soup! To think I invited them into my home!”
We did not spill her soup! Lick it, yes; spill it, no.
“Snake thieves!” the orange bird calls out. “They trie
d to eat my eggs!”
“Silence in the court!” the Queen of Hearts bellows. “I can’t hear myself think! What was I thinking about, dear?” she asks the king.
“Was it what I was thinking?” the king says.
“Maybe,” the queen responds. “Were you thinking that these five girls look very guilty?”
The king nods. “I don’t remember.”
“I’m not guilty!” Alice cries. “I didn’t eat anything! Honestly, I’m quite hungry. Did you say something about tarts?”
“They weren’t even good,” Penny says, wrinkling her nose.
“Insolence!” the Three of Clubs shouts at Penny. “When you are found guilty, you will have your head chopped off twice!”
Robin’s eyes widen. “When we’re found guilty?”
“HUSH!” the Queen of Hearts shouts. “Or it’ll be off with your head!”
I have to do something.
I take a deep breath. I can do this. It’s a trial, after all. And I want to be a lawyer, right? Well, a judge, but a lawyer first.
I’ve been preparing for this my whole life.
“Excuse me?” I say and stand up. “The point of a trial is to find out if the accused person is guilty. And, um, since anything is allowed in this court, I am hereby announcing myself as lawyer for the defense.” I look at my friends. “That’s us,” I whisper.
“Fine. Whatever,” the queen says to me, waving her hand dismissively. She turns to the Three of Clubs. “Call your first witness.”
“I call the Hatter to the stand!” the Three of Clubs says.
The Mad Hatter strolls up to the chair that’s set up beside the two thrones.
“Hatter,” the Three of Clubs says. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing BUT the truth?”
“I will tell nothing of the truth,” the Mad Hatter says.
Wait. That didn’t sound right.
“Objection!” I call out. “He said he would tell nothing of the truth!”
“Perhaps,” the Mad Hatter says. “But aren’t there many truths?”
“No,” I say. “There is only one truth.”
“If you say so,” he says. “But I say differently.”
“Objection overruled,” the queen says. “Please continue.”
“Excellent,” the Three of Clubs responds. “Hatter, did you witness these girls steal food or a beverage from your tea party?”
Abby in Wonderland (Special Edition) Page 10
