Walking out to the parking lot she unlocked the door to the purple monstrosity, as the guys dubbed it; she reached in, grabbing her pack of smokes that she’d left in there. She fumbled a time or two before managing to finally get one to her mouth and light it. She kept the pack in her hand when she shut the door, knowing tonight was going to be a session of chain smoking.
She’d forgotten to put on shoes, she realized as she stepped on a rock and swore. Making her way to the back of the van she sat on the bumper, slouching over while images ran wild in her head. She took a long drag, as she thought back to the man whose lung she saved… A hand went to her head as she looked at the ground with her cigarette dangling from her fingertips, and exhaled.
A chilling thought made its way into her mind, one that she couldn’t let go of. Was she going to be able to handle something like this the next time? Would she always hesitate, and wonder if she should help that kind of person who could hurt another, knowing that it was her job to do so?
When she took another drag she enjoyed the burn on her lips, because the burn in her heart was so much worse. Maybe general surgery wasn’t for her; maybe she should help battered women. Maybe start a clinic to help needy people… Footsteps were heading her way, but she was too numb to even lift her head to see who it was. She figured it was South, he always seemed to find her lately.
Size thirteen feet stood right next to her in flip-flops. “What are you doing out here all by yourself at this time of night?” Win’s voice asked her.
She laughed to herself, as the one person she wanted to see, and didn’t want to see all at the same time, ended showing up in front of her. “I’m smoking,” she whispered.
He sat next to her, but the ground was all she could manage to look at right now. He took the cigarette from her fingers, putting it to his mouth. “You don’t mind, do you?”
“I don’t really care,” she said solemnly.
“Hey angel, everything all right?”
“Yeah, it’s just fucking perfect.” She finally managed to take a quick peek at him. “So where’s South at, anyway?” she questioned him quietly.
He leaned back against the van. “Honestly I don’t know. I thought maybe he went to pick you up tonight. I was surprised when you, Lynn and Mindy pulled up together.”
She reached up, taking the smoke from his lips and putting it back in hers. “Yeah, well, that figures. Maybe if I didn’t pass out last night, and he would’ve gotten a piece of ass, he’d be home,” she whispered.
Win took her limp hand that was hanging over her knee. “What’s going on with you? You know you can talk to me, right?”
The van rose as Win got off the bumper and knelt in front of her. He took the cigarette from her lips and stepped on it. His finger went under her chin, bringing her eyes to meet his. “Hey, tell me, Addison,” he whispered, brushing some hair from her face.
Her bottom lip trembled. She didn’t want to talk about it, but felt like she would explode if she didn’t. “I saved him, Win, I found the nick in his lung that everyone missed. I saved him, and he killed her!” she whispered harshly as angry tears rolled down her face, finding their way to the ground.
“I could’ve let him die, I should have let him die, but I saved him as she died on the fucking operating table! Damn it, I saved him, Win!” Her hands went to cover her face and she cried as hard as she did when she found out about her parents’ death. He got up, pulling her into his arms.
“Can you tell me who you saved, angel?”
“The guy who stabbed his girlfriend to death.” She grabbed onto his tank top as her body started shaking. “He stabbed her so many times. Why, why would he do that, Winston? She was so small, and he was so big. And I did what was right… I saved him,” she said quietly through her tears, then looked into his eyes.
He frowned. “Come on angel, let’s go sit down inside where we’re not getting eaten up by mosquitos,” he told her. He grabbed her under her legs, lifted her up from the van, and took her upstairs.
***
South wasn’t home, and wherever the hell he was, he should’ve been at the apartment taking care of the woman he claimed he wanted. But Win had seen her, and he took her back to his apartment where she curled up in a ball on his lap, crying uncontrollably. He just sat there rubbing her back, letting her get out all the frustration and pain.
After a while she managed to calm down, and took deeps breath as she tried to get herself under control. But while he rubbed her back, her head lay on his chest and shook back and forth. “Why? Why do men feel the need to hurt? Why would he hurt me? I thought he loved me, just like that girl thought her boyfriend loved her, but what did he do to her? He stabbed her twenty-eight times. What could she have possibly done to make him think she deserved that?” she said quietly.
Her arm went around Win and her cheek was against his chest. “What did I do to deserve to be put into the hospital? Was I wrong for wanting him to stop the drinking and the drugs? But he couldn’t, could he…he couldn’t stop hurting me. And I just didn’t want to end up like this poor girl tonight, in the morgue,” she mumbled.
It took him a moment to understand what she’d just said under her breath, and his body stiffened. She wasn’t realizing what she was saying out loud. Everything that had happened between them was starting to make complete sense. How deeply she had been hurt was about to change everything for him.
She looked up at him, but looked right through him. “All the women. I’d walk in and he would have women all over our house. He didn’t even care if I saw him sleeping with them… I can handle only so much. He always said he was sorry, told me I was only ever going to be his and that he loved me more than his own life. But when I told him to leave…he’d get so angry with me.
“All I wanted was for him to stop sleeping with other women, that’s all. Did I ask for too much?” Her eyes fell, looking out at nothing as she whispered, “I loved him, and it wasn’t enough. I get it, I really do… I wasn’t enough for him. But why won’t he let me go, then,” he heard her sniffle.
Her head lay back on his chest, exhaustion finally winning over. His arms wrapped around her, keeping her close. Her body shook like she had a chill and he was doing all he could to keep her warm. “You would’ve protected me, wouldn’t you?” she mumbled one last time, tightening her arms around him and hugging him close to her. Those were the last words she said to him before her breathing became soft and steady.
Caressing her back as she slept, whimpering because God only knows what kind of horrors ran through her mind, he knew what kind of man he needed to be for her. He was going to have a talk with Lynn. They were hiding some big secret from everyone, but if he was going to be with her and protect her he needed to have some sort of clue to what the hell was going on.
This was going to be the woman he married, would have his children. If any fucker came near her again and so much as looked at her wrong, he was going to put his ass in the hospital! He liked her bad-ass little attitude. Loved how she could talk shit and it came from her naturally. And he liked that she could spank his ass, just as much get hers spanked. But Addison, under it all she was really a good girl. She just hid it around people she didn’t know.
Tonight what he’d witnessed was something far worse than he ever could imagine, and he knew for certain his angel had some broken wings. And it took everything he had not to think about his mother, when he’d held her on the couch and heard just some of the shit she’d gone through.
He wished he knew why people hurt other people. Why men hurt their wives, why his mother would stay with the fucking man who would beat her unconscious. But he had no answers to give her. He only knew that he would never lay a finger on her…or their children.
She let so much slip out tonight, too emotionally distraught to think straight. But some things made perfect sense now. For example, the women. What crazy-ass fool would have a woman like her and still be screwing around? From what she said, he knew that this man had n
o intention of letting her go, either.
No, her running to South last night…that was his fault. But she didn’t sleep with him, so maybe he still had a chance with her. He was the coward that let a couple of words dictate his actions. But if he would have really fucking listened to her, she said all he needed to know. She was interested in him; the only problem was, she was scared.
He turned on the TV but placed it on mute while he held her. When he kissed the top of her head, that’s when South walked in with Rex behind him. He stopped cold in his tracks as he saw Addison in his arms and asleep on his lap. “Win?” he questioned, unbelieving at what he was seeing.
“What the fuck are you doing with Addison?” he growled, but Rex came over, grabbing hold of him as he was going to rip her out of his arms. Addison stirred in her sleep, making Win frown, and South fume. “You will keep it the fuck down. She’s had a rough night, and she’s exhausted.”
“What the hell are you doing? She came over to be with me last night, she slept in my bed last night, and now you make a move on her?” South finally shook free of Rex’s grasp. “Are you looking for a fucking fight?”
Win stood, holding Addison in his arms, looked over at South, then headed for the door. “Hey, where the fuck are you going? I’m not finished talking to you!” South growled.
“I’m taking her to her place to go to bed. I’ll be back in a minute. Then you and I can have a little talk about whose girl she really is,” Win informed him, shutting the door behind him.
He walked down the hall and knocked on the girls’ door, and after a minute Lynn came and answered it. She looked up at Win, then her eyes dropped to Addison. “Oh shit!” she whispered, opening the door to let him in. “I knew she was a mess tonight. Even Frank saw how upset she was. Thank God he gave her the day off tomorrow.” Lynn led him to her room, flipped the covers down quietly not to wake up Tia.
“She has tomorrow off?”
Lynn looked at her while Win pulled the sheet up over her. “Yeah.”
“Good, then we’re going to get some shit straight around here,” he told her, walking out of the bedroom and to the front door. “You know she’s mine, don’t you, Lynn,” he said with a predatory gaze.
The corner of Lynn’s mouth turned up. “Why do you think I let her go out to that van tonight? I knew your ass wouldn’t be able to handle that,” she chuckled. “But you’ve done some major fucking up. Time to either own up, or get the fuck out.”
Win nodded. “I’m owning it. She’s mine, end of story.”
When Win got back to the apartment South was pacing the room, yelling at Andy to shut the fuck up. All three of their heads popped up and South stormed at him, punching him in the face.
He got in one more good punch before Win pushed him away. “She came to me, she wanted to be with me! You just had to go and fuck that up!” South said, punching him again, but this time Win blocked it.
“I didn’t do anything to her! Damn it, South, we didn’t do anything!” Win swore as South pushed him up against the wall. Win punched South in the gut twice; he let go, bending over and holding his stomach.
South came at Win once more and he punched him in the eye, as South got him in the kidney. Win got one more uppercut to South’s face before he punched him in the gut, pushing him away.
They stood there glaring at each other before Win started talking. “I saw her outside! She was all by herself sitting on the monstrosity in the middle of the night.” He looked around, trying to think of a way of explaining. “All I did was go and check on her. When I got there I knew something was wrong, really wrong with her.” He looked at South, who was still bent over with a hand on his leg from taking Win’s punch. “I took her out of the fucking parking lot so she could talk without waking up everybody at her place!”
They looked at each other before Win went to the fridge to pull out a cold beer, placing it on his eye. “Where the fuck were you, anyways? If she’s yours then why weren’t you here to take care of her when she needed you? I thought you’d go pick her up from work!”
Rex and Andy came in and sat on the sofa while South picked up an overturned chair. “Well, we were having drinks with the record producer. He’s going to the club to watch us tomorrow, that’s what the hell I’ve been doing,” he growled, running his hand through his hair.
Win looked over at Andy, who didn’t look too excited about the news. Rex looked over at him and shook his head. He must know something more than what they were sharing.
“So you didn’t pick her up because this guy called?”
“Not some guy. Mr. Ramon from the biggest label out in Los Angeles!”
“Let me ask you something, what do you want to happen between you and Addison?”
South’s head popped up, looking at him like he was nuts. “What the fuck are you talking about? What are my plans; are you and Andy smokin’ the same shit?”
“I’m asking because that will help me decide what the fuck I’m going to do.”
“Going to do about what?”
Win didn’t say anything, just stood there looking at South.
“I don’t know; I’d like to get to know her better. Definitely wouldn’t mind getting into her pants!”
Win nodded his head, hearing what South told him.
“Okay, South, this is how it’s going to go down… You’re going to stay the fuck away from Addison from now on. She’s mine. This will be the only warning you’ll get,” he told him, then turned, heading for his bedroom.
South’s mouth was set in a hard line, then he stood up shouting. “The hell you say! Win, this isn’t over!” There was a knocking coming up from the floor, they were being too loud, and Win had already shut his door.
“What the fuck is wrong with everybody?” Rex asked South, who shrugged.
Andy had his phone in his hand and was texting someone. “Can’t you not talk to her for five minutes?” Rex asked him.
The phone chimed and Andy’s smile grew. “I’ve got to go. See you in the morning.”
“Rex, I’m thinking there might be some major problems going on with the band,” South told him, finally opening his beer.
Chapter 9
This was the first time Addison had been able to watch the guys’ band. When she opened her closet she was stumped. She wasn’t going to work, so scrubs were out, and she wasn’t on stage, so rocker clothes were out. It was Margie who came in and told her to just be herself; that really helped.
So she put on a pair of her old skinny jeans, a lavender silk tank top and a pair of purple ballet slippers. She wanted the least amount of makeup, so cream eye shadow, mascara and ChapStick were all she put on, but she did something she hadn’t done in a long time. Her now-blonde hair she wore down, letting her waves hang freely.
Addison’s stomach was in her throat when they made it to the club, and she was second-guessing her choice of attire when she saw all the other women dressing sexy. But for her being sexy wasn’t showing off your body, it was what was inside that mattered. Guess she was going to find out if Win thought the same way she did tonight.
They sat a table that was closest to the stage but away from the people standing watching the show. Tia took her seat and was all smiles; she really liked Andy, and he seemed totally into her. She waved at him when he got behind his drums, winking at her, making her giggle. Addison loved to see her sister happy, especially after the two heartbreaks she’d gone through.
Lynn had told her Win was coming over in the morning, but he never made it. Addison wondered if he had changed his mind about her after the meltdown last night. Holy shit, the things that came out of her mouth last night, things she wasn’t ready to talk about with anybody.
They heard clapping as South took the stage and Addison’s eyes widened as she watched him come to the mike. His eye was swollen, and black and blue. Not only that, but his lip was split as well. Then when the rest of them came on, she looked over at Win. He too was donning a nice black eye, and he and South
didn’t seem to be on very friendly terms at the moment. So something had happened between them and she knew it had to do with her.
Lynn leaned over, whispering in her ear when she saw her anxiety. “Don’t stress over it, it’s a guy thing.”
“They were fighting, Lynn, that’s not a good thing,” she said, crossing her arms. She saw Win look over at her, and when he gave her a smile that sent shivers down her spine, she knew her heart was in trouble. South growled something at him, and he nodded, getting ready.
Lynn sighed, not the least bit worried. “Yup, but they’re still playing together so whatever happened…it got settled,” she said easily.
Addison sat back at their table, watching them get ready. Then Win strummed his guitar and she was in heaven. Watching him, and then paying attention to the whole band, her eyes moving to South, who could really sing—no wonder they had scouts coming out to see them.
The music was hard and fast, and all the girls were up front screaming out their names. She watched as they bounced along with the beat, raising their arms and singing the songs. Then she saw that girl who was in the hall with Win. She was dancing, smiling up at him as he played.
Margie had come back to the table with some new guy tonight. His hands couldn’t keep themselves off of her, and she was soaking up the attention. Addison saw her lean in to start kissing him, and then she looked to Rex, who was watching her from the stage. He missed a chord when he saw the first kiss, and he shook his head, not looking at her anymore.
“Hey Margie, what happened with Rex?” she asked to take her mind off what was going to happen after the guys got off stage.
“He’s a jerk! That’s what happened,” she said, and Addison could see that she was upset about talking about him. She sat back, wrapping her arm around this new guy’s neck, getting ready for round two.
A Second Chance at love The Rocker Girls Series Page 9
