by Jackie North
“You make me laugh,” said Ben, and brushed his lips against Solvin’s.
“Am I funny?” asked Solvin in a way that told Ben he really wanted to know.
“Not funny ha-ha,” said Ben. “But you bring me joy.”
It sounded a little formal the way it came out, but Solvin didn’t seem to mind, if his small, curved smile was anything to go by.
“You bring me energy,” said Solvin. He reached up to trace Ben’s face with his fingers and then ran his hand down the side of Ben’s hair as though he was petting something quite soft and beloved. “And I’m really sorry about trying to drink beer with pain meds, not once, but twice.”
“I know,” said Ben. “Don’t worry about it, but are you feeling okay now? This isn’t some bad cocktail-induced impulse?”
“Yes and no,” said Solvin. “I’m sure, very sure. Now would you please help me disrobe so I can help you disrobe?”
They made a game of it, at least to begin with, each undoing one button on the other’s shirt. But then the small giggles subsided, and Ben scooted Solvin over to the bed and made him sit down so Ben could do as he liked and go slowly, slowly, exposing Solvin to the warm air of the bedroom one article of clothing at a time. Solvin, with a bemused expression, let Ben go ahead with it, and so Ben knelt at Solvin’s feet, took off his shoes and socks, and then rose on his knees to get at Solvin’s belt and the tail ends of his shirt, which he pulled out of the waistband of Solvin’s trousers. Solvin stood up so Ben could remove the trousers entirely, and then sat down, dressed in only his shirt and boxers. Ben took a moment to trail his hands up Solvin’s bare calves, going gently, especially across the fading bruises, and bent down to kiss Solvin’s ankle, which had a pattern of tender red skin around it.
“After,” said Ben, rising up, kissing Solvin’s calf and knee as he went, “I’ll bring you your pain meds, a full dose this time, and I’ll hold you while you fall asleep. Okay?”
“Yes,” said Solvin, quite obediently, which gave Ben the permission he needed to carry on as he wanted.
He lavished Solvin’s lovely, strong thighs with kisses and strokes until he had Solvin laid out on the bed, looking gorgeous and expectant as Ben pulled Solvin’s shirt off him. Solvin’s shoulders were broad enough to take up a great deal of space but seemed to fit in the curve of Ben’s arms just as they ought. When he stripped off his jeans, still damp from the rain, and as he tore off his shirt, the warm air of the room made goose pimples all up and down him.
With a gusty sigh, he tumbled to the bed next to Solvin, half pulling Solvin on top of him.
“You’re heavier than you look,” said Ben, blinking up at Solvin, running his hands up and down Solvin’s bare arms.
“All muscle, I assure you,” said Solvin in a lofty tone that soon turned into a snort. “Don’t you know that all Icelanders are nothing but muscle?”
“I do now,” said Ben, and then he fell silent as he absorbed Solvin’s warmth and planted small kisses on his bare chest that had only the merest sprinkling of hair.
It almost felt too easy to fall into this the way he was, but though his mind seemed to want to look for warning signs, his body told him otherwise. Every nerve ending was reaching for Solvin, with the warmth of him so close and the weight of him so steady and still. But Ben’s body did not want to be still, and he did not want to be thinking of anything other than where he was and what they were doing. Giving in to the impulse, he reached down, trailing his fingers along Solvin’s hip to slide into Solvin’s boxers where, boldly, he traced the line of muscle until he could lay the flat of his palm against Solvin’s cock, which was warm and hard and responded to Ben’s touch with a hard twitch.
With a groan, Solvin dropped his head into the hollow of Ben’s neck, his warm breath coming a little fast against Ben’s skin.
“Okay?” asked Ben, checking in, just to be sure.
“Yes,” said Solvin, voice muffled a little. “Yes, yes, yes.”
He punctuated each word with small, warm kisses along Ben’s neck, but he stayed where he was, and Ben shifted to one side so he could get at Solvin properly. Blinking up at the wall light by the door, he began slowly stroking Solvin’s cock. Solvin wiggled to give him more room but didn’t move away, and Ben found he enjoyed the weight of Solvin and the angle his hand needed to be at to give Solvin this pleasure.
There were the soft sounds of his skin on Solvin’s and the hitched breathing that came from Solvin’s throat, and when Ben moved his hand faster, Solvin’s breath came faster. The feeling of it on his neck sent something sharp and pleasant shooting around Ben’s belly, a gut-deep impulse to make it good for Solvin, so good that he would want Ben to do it again in the morning, and then at night, and all the days that followed—except that was getting ahead of himself, so he concentrated on where he was, on the feel of Solvin’s cock in the palm of his hand, the rough tickle of Solvin’s pubic hair, the heat and dampness of the curve of Solvin’s hip.
Solvin wrapped his arms tightly around Ben’s waist, and he liked the slide of them, the dense muscle holding him in place, and his own cock rose up in response, pushing at the cotton of his boxers. His cock being pressed between their two bodies gave an extra sense of being trapped, but in the most delicious way, and it added to the urgency because he wanted Solvin to come in his hand so he could feel that lovely moment of release he had given him. There soon came a hitch in Solvin’s breathing and a little cry from his throat just as Ben felt the fast pulse of warmth in his hands and the rough jerk of Solvin’s hips as he came.
Then the room and their two bodies were still as Solvin relaxed on top of Ben, a heavy weight that was, in its own way, wonderful and solid and just what Ben needed. He felt the moisture prickle at the corners of his eyes, and he blinked this away, confused at what he was feeling. Was it relief that he could turn away from the hurt Alan had left behind, or that he could pleasure a man whom he’d only known for two days, and do it with all of his heart? Confusion raced through his brain, except then Solvin rolled off him and turned on his side to trace the corner of Ben’s eye. Ben blinked even harder, but he had a feeling Solvin wasn’t fooled because he leaned in and kissed Ben right there, where the tear was just starting to collect itself to roll down the side of his face.
“Damn it,” said Ben, gritting his teeth.
“No,” said Solvin. He scooted even closer so he draped his whole chest along Ben’s side. “You have a tender heart, and that can be so rare these days.”
“I get so worked up,” said Ben. He wasn’t apologizing, just explaining so that Solvin would understand. “Except with Alan I would get less and less worked up, and it became less fun, and I knew it wasn’t right, except I kept hanging on, hoping it would get better, you know?”
Ben turned his head to look at the man he barely knew but who had, by his acceptance and gentle candor, touched places in Ben that had started feeling raw and used up. When Alan broke up with him, he knew it was for the better, but it still hurt and would have kept hurting except for this man. On account of Solvin, the raw places had begun to heal.
“You ever broke up with anybody, Solvin?” asked Ben. He knew his timing wasn’t the best, but it was easier to ask rather than continue to spill his heart out.
“Twice,” said Solvin with a little sigh, as if remembering. “Both of them just wanted to leave Iceland, and they wanted me to come with them. There were times that I thought I should have followed them and never did, and regretted it.”
Ben kept his eyes on Solvin, on those blue eyes that looked a little sad now and on the tightness of his mouth as he thought about what to say to explain what he’d just said.
“I won’t leave my mother behind, you see, as it’s only been five years since my father died. And as for Iceland—” Solvin stopped and chewed at his lower lip, and all the while he traced the curves of Ben’s chest. “I love to travel, you know? I’ve been a lot of places, including that museum in Munich you wanted to go to. But I always long fo
r home after a while.”
“This is the first time I’ve left the country,” said Ben, but it really wasn’t enough to explain what he meant. “I don’t miss Colorado yet, but I can imagine what it might feel like to want to go home, however nice the journey.”
“Nothing smells quite like home or feels like it or looks like it—” Solvin broke off what he was saying, a distant expression in his eyes. “And if I hadn’t stayed, I never would have met you.”
Ben felt his brows wrinkle together because it was as if Solvin was trying to tell him something beyond the fact that he was a homebody. Now, while they were mostly naked and in bed together, didn’t seem the time to clarify whether or not Solvin was asking him to stay forever. Except he already had when they were in the Blue Lagoon. Solvin had said “I will keep you warm all the winter long.” Had he meant it?
Ben didn’t have a chance to ask because Solvin rose up and leaped on him and wrestled their bodies together until he was again on top of Ben, his elbows on either side of Ben’s face. Then Solvin kissed him and reached down to tug on Ben’s cotton boxers, and with those broad shoulders holding him in place, Ben felt quite undone and was completely drawn from his own sad musings into the warm whirlwind that was Solvin taking Ben’s cock in his hand and doing to him what he had just done to Solvin.
Solvin’s hand was warm and hard and completely encircled the girth of Ben’s cock in a way that made Ben’s eyes go wide. Solvin smiled in return, with crinkles at the corners of his eyes and a happy laugh that he buried against Ben’s neck. This made Ben shiver all over.
He spread his legs on either side of Solvin’s and closed his eyes and let himself float away on the happy friction of Solvin’s hand on his cock and the faint taste of honey in Solvin’s kisses and the quick way Solvin brought him to the edge of release and then backed off, just in time, only to speed up and do it again, driving Ben crazy in the best way. Then with three quick tugs of his hand, Solvin bent down and kissed Ben hard with strokes of his tongue, his warm breath going across Ben’s cheek, and then Ben’s whole body gave a jerk, and he came in Solvin’s hand in hard, hot pulses.
Almost immediately Solvin wiped his hand on the sheet and enfolded Ben in his arms and kissed him, drawing out the pleasure of orgasm into the pleasure of connection, of the warmth of another body. The feel of Solvin’s mouth on his and the strength of Solvin’s arms around him made Ben feel so well loved that when Solvin broke the kiss, he tipped back his head and closed his eyes against the light in the room and imagined staying right where he was forever.
When he opened his eyes, Solvin was above him, looking as relaxed as Ben felt, face flushed, that lovely mouth smiling.
“I’m glad you’re staying the night,” said Solvin.
“I’m glad you asked,” said Ben. He ran his hands along Solvin’s shoulders. “Let me get you your pain meds, and is there anything else you need to take?”
“Just more kissing when you get back,” said Solvin. “Doctor’s orders.”
With a little laugh, Ben rolled himself out of Solvin’s arms, and while he was reluctant to do that, he was glad to be able to pad across the carpeted floor of the bedroom to the cooler linoleum of the kitchen, where he drank a glass of water and then got one for Solvin. Grabbing up the bottles of pain meds, he went back into the bedroom to put them on the bedside table. Solvin was sitting up and started to take them, and he had a lock of hair over one eye, so Ben paused to push it out of the way and then kissed Solvin on the forehead.
“I’m going to check the locks and turn out the lights,” said Ben. “And I’ll set the thermostat.”
“Takk fyrir,” said Solvin, and then he popped two pills in his mouth and took a gulp of water.
Ben went around the little apartment and took care of everything that needed seeing to. The thermostat looked like it operated on a timer, only they’d come home earlier than the setting for a higher heat, so Ben made sure it would lower the temperature when it made sense, checked the windows, jiggled the lock on the front door, and made his way back to the bedroom. There he found Solvin already beneath the covers, though one corner of the comforter was pulled down in a neat triangle. Smiling, Ben turned off the bedroom lights and made his way to the bed in the darkness by memory, knowing he could do this exact same thing over and over, and it would never grow old.
As he planted one knee on the bed, he found Solvin reaching out for him, and as he slid beneath the weight of the comforter, Solvin brought his arms around him.
“I’m the one who’s supposed to be cuddling you,” said Ben, though he couldn’t entirely object to being the little spoon.
“In a minute,” said Solvin. “I like having someone to hold in the dark.”
“And I like being held in the dark,” replied Ben before he really thought about what he was saying. The words came out as though he was afraid of the dark or something, but Solvin didn’t seem to mind this and didn’t say anything, but instead stroked Ben’s hair and his neck and was a warm, comforting presence.
Soon Solvin’s hands grew still, so Ben rolled back and switched it up so Solvin was in his arms, and as Ben adjusted the pillow behind his head, he heard Solvin sigh.
“Black beach tomorrow,” said Solvin. “Promise me.”
“Yes,” said Ben. “I promise, but only if you’ll go to sleep now.”
Solvin said something under his breath that Ben couldn’t quite understand, but it might have been in Icelandic anyway, so he tipped his head down so he could rest his cheek against Solvin’s temple. Solvin smelled nice, and there was the scent of sex in the air, and maybe they should have cleaned up after, but that’s what laundry detergent was for, and besides, Ben wouldn’t have moved from where he was even if someone offered him all the money in the world. Where he was right now, holding Solvin, was worth everything he’d gone through to get there. And tomorrow they would go to black beach, whatever that was. And after that? Ben didn’t know, but maybe it would turn out to be something good.
IN THE morning, as they were getting dressed and waiting for the cab Solvin had called, Ben pulled back the front curtains to see it was still raining and didn’t look to be letting up anytime soon.
“Are you sure about this?” asked Ben.
“Yes,” said Solvin. “It’s the most amazing place, and your trip to Iceland would not be complete without it. Besides,” he added as he came up to Ben and kissed him on the nose. “I want to see it with you, and maybe we could take pictures on one of our phones?”
All this time, and they hadn’t taken any pictures. When he was with Alan, selfies were the order of the day, with them stopping every ten minutes or so to pose themselves into something attractive and clever to post on the various social media apps Alan was obsessed with. Sometimes that was fun, but mostly it seemed silly to take photos not for themselves as memories, but for other people, most of whom Ben didn’t know, to gawp at.
“Yes,” said Ben, a little distracted by the sound of the cab pulling up. “That’s a good idea.”
They bundled up more than they had the day before, with Solvin lending Ben a hat and a scarf on account of being out of doors on a windy beach. Ben checked his pockets for his wallet and phone and grabbed Solvin’s pain pills at the last minute, and when they climbed into the taxi, the heat was on, so they had to take off their jackets and smiled at each other rather than complain. Besides, it was lovely to be in a cozy cab as they drove down the road out of town with the rain sliding down the windows in parallel tracks of silver that gave glimpses of the gray sky above.
They followed a different road than the one they’d gone on the day before. After an hour, Ben turned his attention to Solvin, who had half dozed off while looking out the window.
“How far is this place?” asked Ben.
“Another hour or so. Are you hungry?” asked Solvin. “We didn’t have that much breakfast.”
Ben tried not to think about the cost of the cab, as Solvin still had his pass, but he was a little irritat
ed at being cooped up when he’d imagined the beach would be a short distance away and they’d be able to walk hand in hand. Alone.
“Everything okay?” asked Solvin. His brow was furrowed, and he looked at Ben, concerned, leaning forward as he took Ben’s hand.
“I didn’t know it was so far away,” said Ben, being honest about it. “I wanted to be alone with you, not stuck in a cab for half a day. How will we get back?”
The cab driver said something in Icelandic, to which Solvin replied, nodding, as if he were agreeing with what the cab driver had just said.
“He’s reminded me that there’s a little restaurant near the beach, so we’ll get something to eat, and the cab driver will wait for us while we walk along the beach and drive us back when we’re ready. It’ll be lovely, you’ll see.”
Ben looked at Solvin for a long moment, looked at those steady blue eyes and the way Solvin was looking at him, really looking at him, waiting to hear what Ben had to say. And it was then Ben realized what he was doing. He was anticipating the little storm of fury Alan would spin into when an outing he had planned didn’t go exactly as he thought it would or should. Ben knew he’d probably fallen into the same pattern, even though the things Alan got mad about never were anything huge or disastrous, just irritating in some way. But if he didn’t join in with Alan in getting upset, then Alan would get mad at him instead of the thing that went wrong. It made him crazy, and here Ben was doing the same to Solvin, who most assuredly didn’t deserve it.
“Actually,” said Ben as he clasped Solvin’s hand, “that sounds rather nice. Especially if you’ll let me hold you to make up for the fact that I woke you up quite early this morning.” He waggled his brows to remind Solvin of the kisses they’d shared and the quick tumble beneath the comforter that followed. Solvin smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, his pink blush delightful to see.
“We’ll trade off,” said Solvin. “That’s only fair, right?”
“I’m good with it either way,” said Ben.
