by Sara Orwig
“I want to keep watching for a little while. Hey,” he said abruptly, speaking into the phone. “We’re home now. We might have been followed part of the way. Will you turn the dogs out and let them roam? Thanks. Talk to you in the morning.”
He broke the connection and replaced the phone, moving back to the window. “Can you find your way into the family room without lights?”
“Sure, but I’ll wait in here with you,” she said, moving to another window to look at the moonlit yard.
Nothing moved except the gentle shift of leaves as the breeze played through the trees. Yet the darkness seemed menacing, and she was chilled. She was surprised by Josh’s patience. She watched him as he stood without moving, staring out the window. Finally she walked over to stand beside him.
“You’re very patient. Like a cat.”
He shrugged. “I’ve hunted before. You learn to be patient. Looks as if I’m wasting my time right now.” He turned to her and moonlight splashed over both of them. She gazed up at him and her heart drummed in the silence that stretched between them, yet he wouldn’t look away, and she couldn’t. His eyes were in shadow, so she couldn’t read his expression, but he stood close, his chest moving as he inhaled deeply.
Wanting so much, yet knowing she couldn’t have anything, she turned away from him. Trying to put distance between them, she crossed the room.
“Want hot chocolate?” he asked. His voice was gruff, and Laurie knew he wanted to kiss her. Had circumstances been different, he would have.
“Yes, thank you. I’ll help.”
“No, you go sit in the family room, and I’ll bring it. Go on, Laurie,” he urged in a raspy voice that sounded almost angry. He was telling her to go, yet his tone was telling her something entirely different.
She left, hurrying to the family room, switching on a small lamp, moving around the room restlessly. She closed shutters, wanting privacy, then wondered if anyone ever closed them as she touched a fine layer of dust. She knew Josh paid little attention to shutters, and she was certain he never gave a thought to someone spying on him. And until she came, no one had ever had reason to, she was certain.
“Here’s the hot chocolate,” he said, setting steaming mugs on the low table in front of the sofa. He crossed the room to start a fire, and in minutes a blaze danced in the fireplace, taking the chill off the room. Josh switched off the light and she watched him move around the darkened space.
“Josh, you know it would be wiser for us to keep a light on,” she remarked, too aware of the jump in her pulse.
He put on music and crossed the room to stand by her. As soon as he shed his coat and tie and then yanked off his boots, he reached for her hand. “Come dance with me. It’ll keep us moving, and I can still touch you, but that’s all I’ll do.”
She reached up to place her hand in his, kicked off her shoes and moved into his arms. “I don’t think this is wise, but I can’t say no,” she whispered.
“It’s better than sitting on the sofa and trying to avoid touching each other. Remember, you don’t get a broken heart over dancing.”
She wondered if his words would echo in her mind forever. She was too aware of his warm breath on her when he talked, of his strong arms wrapped around her, of his lean, muscled body so hard against hers. They danced close, and he wrapped his arms around her and she wound her arms around his neck. They were living dangerously now, fanning the flames of desire just by moving slowly together in time to the music.
“I keep telling myself to wait, that your memory will return and then you’ll know your past and we’ll know where we stand. But I’ll tell you now, absolutely,” he said, leaning away and looking down at her, “I’m not into lasting relationships.”
Something hurt deep inside, yet she knew that was foolish. “I don’t know what kind of relationship I’m into, or anything else,” she answered, too aware that Josh might protect her physically, but was probably going to hurt her emotionally. Even though she knew it was unintentional, he was already causing her anguish. And she was as much at fault as he. The first couple of days she had flirted with him, unaware that they would be thrown together for much longer and that the attraction burning between them would grow.
“So you’re telling me caveat emptor,” she said. “Well, cowboy, the same back to you. This slow dancing was your idea, not mine.”
Desire blazed in his eyes and she knew she was taunting a tiger, yet his warning had made her want to fling one back at him. Dancing with him and feeling the tension exploding between them, she gazed into his eyes.
“Scared to kiss a woman with a dangerous, unknown past?”
“You little witch,” he whispered in a husky rasp. He stopped dancing and wound his fingers in her hair, and her heart thudded so loudly it was a drumbeat in her ears.
“Whatever your past, you like taking risks,” he said, grinding out the words in that husky voice. “Well, I’m scared as hell,” he said, and tightened his arms around her, leaning over her, his mouth coming down hard on hers and opening her lips to his.
The moment his tongue stroked hers, she knew she had gone way too far. She had goaded him into this kiss and she was going to pay an exorbitant price, because her knees had turned to jelly, her heart lurched and every inch of her responded to the touch of his lips.
She might as well have been standing in a bonfire, she was so hot. His tongue was waking nerves all over her body. She trembled, clinging to him, kissing him back, totally lost in sensations that ignited all the banked flames.
She had not only stepped over a line, she had stepped into a white-hot furnace of desire. Deep inside her an ache began, an age-old, female need. She was too aware of him, his mouth, his broad shoulders, his hard body. The need that had been building for days shook her now. She wanted this tall, tough cowboy—wanted him to love her. His kisses were driving her desire into a raging longing.
His kisses were more exciting than she had dreamed they could be. As he had predicted, she had opened Pandora’s box and unleashed a world of trouble. There would be no going back from this moment. And if she had been drawn to him before, it was nothing compared to what was happening to her heart now.
Forbidden, forbidden, she tried to remind herself, her thoughts syrupy and dim from the heady rush of sensation. He was forbidden, his kisses couldn’t escalate, couldn’t lead anywhere until she had a past. And even if she learned that she was free to love, this wasn’t the man. He had warned her repeatedly that he wouldn’t give his heart to any woman.
She could feel that heart thudding beneath her hands, beating as swiftly as her own. She let go of her worries, giving in to him, knowing this might be the only time they would ever share such a kiss. She might have to tell him goodbye tomorrow.
Abruptly he stopped, his chest heaving and his breathing ragged.
She opened her eyes, gazing up at him, seeing a frown on his face.
“We’re not alone,” he murmured. He looked down at her, and for just a flash, recognition passed between them that was an affirmation of the desire they had unleashed during the past few minutes.
His words registered with her and she blinked, her thought processes beginning to work again. She stepped away as he turned to switch off the music.
For the first time she could hear dogs barking, and icy fear gripped her.
Chapter 8
W hen he switched on lights, she became fully conscious of what he was doing. “Someone’s out there.”
Josh relaxed. “Listen. The dogs are greeting someone. I’m used to hearing them bark. I know the difference between friends and strangers. My family is here.”
She became aware of herself, wondering if she looked disheveled from his kisses and embrace. Her gaze raced over him, but he looked as collected as ever, except for slight wrinkles in his starched white shirt. And then she became aware of something else: he had heard the dogs while she had been lost in a hot, seductive kiss. Her roaring pulse had drowned out all sounds. While his kiss had bla
nked out the world for her, he had been able to stop instantly, and now he was completely composed.
She moved away, going to a mirror to look at herself. As she smoothed the brown wig, she thought she looked exactly like a woman who had just been royally kissed. Then she heard voices at the back door.
Josh jerked his head in that direction. “C’mon. We’ll greet them.”
Nina, Caroline and Ethan poured into the kitchen, and in minutes they all sat around the kitchen table with steaming mugs of hot chocolate. His family was warm, friendly and fun-loving, and Laurie envied him what he had, knowing in spite of all the upheaval and loss in his life, he still had some good, solid relationships with people who cared about him.
Did she have that kind of family? If she did, why weren’t they searching for her? As talk swirled around her, these questions spun through her thoughts.
Shortly after one in the morning, she excused herself, leaving him alone with his relatives, certain they would enjoy having him to themselves without a stranger in their midst. She went to her bedroom and changed, pulling on a robe. She had left her purse in the family room and now she was thirsty, but she wasn’t dressed and she had told them all good-night, so she didn’t want to go back. Switching off the light, she sat beside the dark window while she replayed her time with Josh tonight down to the tiniest detail—dancing with him, kissing him.
Her past was still as obscure and dark as the night outside. Moonlight bathed open spaces in silvery light, but beneath trees and bushes were dark shadows that could hide anything. She shivered, easily imagining someone out there watching the house.
Had they really been followed tonight? Had someone found her? What could she have done in the past for someone to want her dead? What had she been involved in or witnessed?
The same old questions tormented her, so she returned to thinking about Josh until she heard voices and realized the family was finally going to bed.
When it got quiet, she crossed the room to the door and tiptoed to the family room. The hall light was on and she didn’t know whether someone would be returning downstairs or not. She hurried to get her purse and had turned to leave the family room when she heard voices. She realized Josh and one of his stepmothers must have been in the kitchen and were going upstairs now. Laurie started to step into the hall, but then heard Josh say her name.
Frowning, she halted, uncertain whether to continue or not.
“Look, Laurie needed help, Nina. It doesn’t hurt anything for her to stay here on the ranch. I’m gone all day.”
“You’re in danger, Josh. If someone tried to kill her, you know he’ll come back to see that the job was finished, and when he learns it wasn’t, he’ll be after her again. He may be after her right now. You could be in terrible danger.”
“Could be, but I don’t think I am. Like I told Laurie, there’s a difference between going after an unarmed woman and going after an armed man who is staying in touch with the police.”
“The nearest officers are in Stallion Pass. Too far away to help you. Get rid of her, Josh!”
“I don’t see any need to,” he answered quietly.
“I’m trying to take care of you! You don’t know anything about her. Nothing! She could be a criminal involved in a murder.”
“Could be, but I doubt it.”
“You don’t know what she is. She could be some high-priced call girl.”
“Now I really doubt that one,” he answered.
“Are you in love with this woman?”
“No, I’m not,” he answered. “Nor will I be.”
“You could have fooled me tonight. You practically hovered over her all evening.”
“That’s because I want to make sure she’s safe.”
“There you go! You know she’s in danger. She’ll be a danger to everyone around her. She must be very selfish or she would have moved out of here first thing and not let you stop her.”
“I did stop her. Nina, she doesn’t remember anything. She’s totally vulnerable if she leaves here,” Josh replied.
“So? She can cope with that. Send her to one of those shelters for women. She could stay there until her memory returns. You keep this woman out here alone on the ranch with you and you just might fall in love with her.”
“I’m not going to fall in love with her,” he said. “You know I’m not a marrying man. It’s late and I’m going to bed now.”
Their voices began to fade.
Laurie switched on a small lamp seconds before Nina walked into the room.
The two women stared at each other a moment. “I came down to get my purse,” Laurie explained. “I didn’t know anyone was still downstairs.”
“So you heard us. I’m just concerned about Josh,” Nina said stiffly. Her blue eyes were cold and she stood with her arms crossed over her middle.
“I’m concerned about him, too,” Laurie said. “He’s been incredibly considerate to me, and I don’t want to put him in danger or impose on him. I told him I should leave, and I know I should even though he’s said he doesn’t want me to go. I don’t have a car, and if I call a taxi, he’ll know.”
“He won’t know if you call one while he’s away from the house working, but you don’t need to do that. If you would like, we can drop you off at a women’s shelter when we leave. It really would be best for everyone here on the ranch.”
Laurie nodded. “If you don’t mind letting me ride with you, I’ll go. I know it’ll be best for him.”
“You could be putting Josh in harm’s way. It’s because of you he was shot.”
“I regret that. I don’t have many things, so I can be ready whenever you leave. But I should go to a hotel and not put women in a shelter in danger.”
“No hotel. Shelters are set up to protect the women in them. You’ll be safe.” Nina sighed and gave Laurie a brittle smile. “Thank you for thinking of him. It relieves me more than I can say. Now we need to plan a little, because I know Josh. He can be very stubborn. He wants you to stay and he doesn’t think he’s in any danger. I think we should do this without him knowing about it.”
“After all he’s done, I’d feel terrible about sneaking away. He can’t stop me if I want to go.”
Nina gave her a look that made Laurie feel like a child who couldn’t understand what she was being told. “My dear, this man is stubborn. I know Josh, and he’s made his mind up about this. If you really are thinking of him, you’ll do this my way.”
Nina paced around the room, obviously deep in thought. Laurie watched her, torn between wanting to be truthful to Josh and wanting to protect him.
The older woman spun around. “How long would it take you to get your things together?”
“Not long. As I said, there’s not that much. I haven’t unpacked completely since I got here.”
“Go get your things. Those shelters are accustomed to women showing up at all hours of the night. I’ve done volunteer work at one in Austin, so I know a little about them. I’ll call and find one in San Antonio that will take you in. I’ll drive you there right now.”
“Tonight?” Laurie said, startled that it would be so soon. She wouldn’t get to tell Josh goodbye, wouldn’t get to thank him. But any goodbye would be painful, and this way might be best. This way he couldn’t stop her.
“This is the perfect time. No one will know. You and I will be the only ones to know where you are. And anyone who might be watching the ranch won’t spot us at this hour, surely. You should be perfectly safe.”
Laurie knew Nina was right, but it hurt to think of slipping out in such a manner and leaving Josh in the dark. She was breaking a promise she had just made to him hours earlier, yet it was for his own good.
“I’ll get my things,” she said. Hurrying to her room, she looked at Josh’s closed door and thought about him in bed, asleep, remembering his kiss, wanting to be with him. She longed to tell him goodbye, but she knew Nina was right. This was the best way. Cut all ties, get out of his life, stop bringing danger
to him and his men and to everyone around him.
She changed into jeans and a T-shirt, tossing her leather jacket onto the bed. She peeled off the brown wig, brushing her hair and letting it fall loosely around her face. If someone was watching the house, she wanted him to see her leaving, wanted everyone to know she was out of Josh’s life. Once she was gone, Josh wouldn’t be in any danger.
Feeling numb, she packed swiftly, carrying her suitcase to the back door. With every passing minute she hated leaving more, but every time she questioned what she was doing, she knew this move was for the best.
Getting a scrap of paper and a pen, she sat down and quickly wrote him a note. She folded it and carried it with her to the kitchen, where Nina was waiting.
“In case anyone wakes up and discovers us missing, I left a note,” the woman said. “If he couldn’t find us, Josh would have the police searching for us in a minute. I have a cell phone, so if anyone does wake, we’ll probably be getting a call. I’m parked by the back gate.”
Laurie paused to look around the kitchen, remembering the moments in it with Josh. She turned to Nina. “Will you give this note to Josh?”
“Certainly.” She tucked the paper into her pocket. “I know it’s hard to leave, but you’re doing what’s best for him. I’ll always be grateful to you for putting his safety first,” she said quietly.
Nodding, Laurie picked up her suitcase and they left, Nina locking the door behind her.
They moved quietly through the chilly night. Laurie’s gaze swept the barn and corral, the dark stands of trees beyond the outbuildings. Was someone out there watching her?
She hoped if there was, he was seeing her leave now.
On a thick branch of a sturdy oak, Finn Handly shifted and braced himself against the trunk of the tree. He was cold, uncomfortable and tired of staying in the tree, but earlier, the dogs had picked up his scent and found him, barking and whining until he thought he would have to shoot them and make a run for it. Then some family members or friends had come to the ranch. The dogs had raced away toward the arriving cars, barking and greeting people they obviously knew.
