by Moxie North
They all stared at the little bleep as it ticked across the screen. Beep…beep……beep. It was agonizing to watch. The little bleeps seemed to be moving closer together.
“There, that’s better,” the nurse said, adjusting the cold packs on Libby. “Let’s see how that goes.” Then she turned and walked out.
Stryker didn’t think that was better, he thought that was fucking not enough. Fucking sirens should be going off, people should be rushing and shouting and tripping over themselves to help her.
He realized his anger wasn’t at the staff, it was at himself. They were doing their job. A job they had to do because he didn’t take care of his responsibilities. He knew he didn’t have a lot of time.
“Libby, you need to wake up again,” he said to her, running the backs of his fingers over her cheeks.
“Mouse, open your eyes for me, please,” he begged.
He kept at her, praying she would look at him. Finally he saw her eyelids flutter. Then open the barest slit to look at him.
“Stryker?”
“Yeah sweetie, I need you to wake up,” he said still petting her.
“Tired,” she mumbled.
“I know baby, I want to help you with that. But I need you awake to understand what I’m saying,” Stryker said urgently. Not knowing how long she’d be awake he needed to cut to the chase.
He saw her struggle a bit, but her eyes open wider at him. They were a bit fuzzy then cleared like she finally saw him.
“Hi,” she said with a small smile.
“Mouse, you’re sick because of me. Something about me made you sick. I need you to understand that it’s not your fault. You aren’t crazy and when you are better we’ll talk all of this out. But you are pregnant and it is my baby.”
He watched her eyes flit around his face, trying to understand him.
“Can’t be,” she said quietly.
“Yeah you can. I’m not human. Well, I’m part human. There is another part of me that is making your body reject the pregnancy. I can fix it, mouse. It will just hurt for a second then you’ll get better, I promise.”
Stryker knew he shouldn’t fucking make promises he didn’t know if he could keep. But he’d do anything to get her to accept.
“It will hurt? I already hurt, Stryker,” she reminded him.
“Yeah, darlin’, I know you do. But I have to bite you to give you some of my DNA to mix into your blood. It will help your body take care of the baby.” He didn’t know how else to explain it.
“Bite me? What are you a vampire?” she said with a tiny, pathetic laugh.
“No, Libby, I’m a shifter. I can turn into a cougar. And if I don’t bite you, you could die. So could our baby. I should have told you before, but I didn’t think this could happen. I would never have put you in this danger if I’d known.”
Stryker could feel the tears welling up in his fucking eyes. He felt like shit, lower than shit. He’d sworn to never hurt her and now he was killing her.
“Cougar? And you want to bite me?” she whispered to him, her forehead wrinkling and the ice pack fell off. Stryker put it back on.
“Yes and I’ll explain all of it later, right now I want you to get better. I have to bite you and I know it’s gonna hurt baby. But it’s the only way. Once I bite you we’ll be bonded forever. Just us and our baby,” he said, his heart pounding as he felt the seconds tick by. Every beep of her heart monitor a stab in his own heart.
“Don’t cry, Stryker. You want to bite me, go ahead. I’m too tired to care,” she said, letting her eyes droop.
“No, Libby, you have to understand. We will be bonded to each other forever.” He knew this didn’t count. He was asking someone who was incapacitated to make a life choice. He was a dick. But he at least had to hear her say the words.
“Fine, do whatever you want. I don’t understand anything. I’m tired and I hurt and just want it to stop, Stryker. My body feels like it’s on fire. No one believes me. It just doesn’t matter anymore.”
Libby let her eyes close. She really didn’t think her conversation with Stryker was real. She was probably hallucinating. Normal people didn’t talk about cougars and biting. She just wanted to go back to that place that was quiet and dark and the pain was less.
Stryker knew that wasn’t her acceptance of him or their bond. But he was sure he wasn’t going to get much more from her now.
Looking at her neck, he wanted to place his mark right where everyone could see it. But in this case that could be a very, very bad idea. He wracked his brain then saw her twitch her leg. He might be able to hide it there, he thought quickly.
Turning to a cart that held one of the machines attached to Libby he started pulling drawers open. He found bandages and tape, pulling them out he tossed them on the bed.
Moving to the curtain he peered around it and didn’t see any nurses. He had to do this fast. Returning to Libby, he pulled back the covers and lifted her gown to expose her leg. His eyes glanced up at her still normally rounded tummy. His baby was in there, he was doing this for all of them.
Stryker’s cougar was having his own battle. He wanted to mark his mate, bond with her, but not this way. They should be making love. He should have brought her to orgasm before inflicting this pain. That wasn’t going to happen.
Stryker took a breath then glanced up to Libby’s prone form. “I love you, mouse,” he said. Then he sank his teeth into the side of her leg.
He heard her gasp and felt her body jerk as his teeth broke through her skin. The blood that seeped over his tongue was sweet and spicy. Just like he knew it would be.
The slow trickle of her heart beat felt like it was his own now. Her pain was radiating off her so strongly he could almost taste it.
He made sure his saliva was in her wound, he couldn’t make any mistakes. Pulling back, he licked at the wound. He felt a tear streak down his cheek. This was not right. He knew it.
He continued to lick her mark until the bleeding stopped. Using the bandages and tape, he covered it, securing it from view. He could only hope they were more concerned with her top half than her bottom half.
His eyes came to her and they were open. There was confusion and shock in her eyes. They were welled with tears that were spilling over and running into her hair. There was only one description for the look she was giving him.
Betrayed.
Chapter 43
Stryker sat next to her bed even after her parents returned. They all hovered around her watching. Stryker’s eyes were on the monitors, then to her chest, then back again.
Her heart rate had spiked when he bit her then it had gone back down. In the hour since the bite she’d been slowly improving. Her heart was a little stronger, her breathing not so labored and her temperature had dropped a few degrees.
The doctor had come in and decreed the antibiotics were finally working, as he thought they would, then cockily left. Dick, Stryker thought.
It really was Stryker that was the dick, but he felt like lashing out. Another hour passed and Libby got stronger.
By the third hour she opened her eyes. When she saw Stryker her eyes flashed in pain and searched for her mom and dad.
“Mom, dad,” she’d said with a whisper.
“Oh sweetheart, you are doing so much better. The doctor says you’ll be feeling tip top in no time,” her mother said, kissing the back of her hand.
“Your color already looks better, kiddo,” her dad remarked. “Did you see? Stryker’s here. He came back.” Her father announced this like she should have been thrilled.
“I need some water,” she said. She didn’t want to look at him; she could feel his eyes on her.
She also felt his desperation like it was his feelings, but they were crawling under her skin. Her mother offered her some water and she was amazed she kept it down. Her stomach not cramping and expelling the liquid immediately which was a blessing.
She felt weak, tired still. Her bones no longer hurt and she wasn’t hot anymore. Aside
from barely being able to lift her head, she just felt run down. Part of that was emotional. She’d been awake on and off for the last few hours, but she’d kept her eyes closed.
The minute Stryker had bit her leg something inside her changed. As it did, she felt her body adjusting, altering to fix the things that were going wrong. Her heart although beating stronger felt like it was the most wounded.
She’d used the quiet time to replay what she could remember of her and Stryker’s conversation.
He’d said he was a cougar. Yes, she remembered that. He’d said she was pregnant with his baby. That it was growing fast? And that he should have bitten her sooner? What the fudge did that mean?
Libby didn’t think she could look at him because she clearly had no idea who he was. She thought she was in love, but if you didn’t really know the person, then you were in love with a fictional character. They weren’t real if you didn’t have all the facts.
Who was Stryker Hayes? If her breaking heart wasn’t enough now she had to deal with the idea that she was pregnant.
Did that mean she was legally obligated to be with him for the next eighteen years? That didn’t seem fair. None of it seemed fair.
How did someone’s world go from a utopia to a hot mess in the matter of a few days? For that matter, how did one go from blissfully in love to sick and knocked up in less than a week?
“Liberty, the doctors say you’re recovering so quickly, it’s like a miracle!” her mother exclaimed.
Some miracle, she thought. It had all the makings of a bad sci-fi film. Or worse some bad talk show, ‘I got knocked up by a cat man’.
No, the only miracle was that she wasn’t hysterically crying. That was amazing.
“I’m tired mom,” Libby said, she wanted her parents to stay. She just didn’t want Stryker to stay too.
“Okay, since you are doing so well, we might run home for a shower. We can come back later if you want,” her father said.
“No, it’s okay. I’m really feeling better. We all could use a good night’s sleep. I’ll see you in the morning,” she suggested.
“I’ll stay,” she heard Stryker say to her dad.
“No, go. I’ll be fine here by myself,” she said, still not looking at him.
“Libby, look at me,” he said desperately.
Her parents sensing the situation chose to make themselves scarce. “Night sweetie, sleep tight,” her mother said, kissing her forehead. Her dad repeated the gesture then they were both gone.
“Why won’t you look at me?” Stryker asked quietly.
“Because you’re a liar. I can’t look at you. It hurts too much,” she whispered.
“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you everything. I was going to. I was waiting for the right time,” he said lamely.
“The right time to tell me you weren’t human?” She finally did look at him and she was right, it hurt too much.
“Partly,” he hedged.
“Is there MORE?” She didn’t know if there was any capacity in her left to take on more “truth.”
Stryker knew this was no time for him to be sly. He was a man, he could take his thumps to get his mate back on his side. Because he really felt as far apart from her right now as he could get.
“I’m not just a mechanic. I like working on cars and machines, but I don’t have to. My family has money. I have money,” he said.
“How much money?” Not that Libby cared. But it was part of who he was and that meant it was something he kept from her.
“Enough that neither of us ever have to work again. Or our children,” he said, his eyes glancing to her belly.
Libby reflexively covered her stomach in a protective gesture. She didn’t miss Stryker’s flinch.
“So you are a rich, cat man?”
“Shifter, and it’s not all I am. I’m the same man that fell in love with you. In fact, that’s not even fair to say that I fell. Shifters are matched by the fates to one other soul to be their partner for life. The minute I saw you, we knew. That you were ours. Our perfect partner, our best friend, our lover.”
Chapter 44
“Our,” she repeated hollowly.
“Yes, my cougar is as much a part of me as I am. I want you to meet him. He really wants to meet you in person,” Stryker said.
Libby didn’t have the ability to conceal the snort that came out of her. This was all too much.
“I really can’t deal with your need to have some kitty play time with me right now. I almost died because I’m pregnant with your baby. A baby that clearly isn’t all human.
Would you mind telling me when I can expect this baby if it’s happening sooner than forty weeks?” She didn’t try to keep the snark or sarcasm out of her voice. What did it matter now?
“It’s somewhere between a feline and human gestation. About half a human pregnancy, twenty weeks or so,” he said softly.
Libby let this information sink in. So in just less than half a year she’d be a mom. That was barely enough time to get anything done or ready, or even get her mental ducks in a row.
“Libby, this means that you won’t be able to have regular doctor visits from here on out. You won’t match up with what is expected. Usually when we are close to pack we have older cougars who act as midwives.
We can have one come up here to help out with the birth.” Stryker was saying everything in a calm, almost monotone voice to not aggravate her.
“Super, a homebirth. Mom will be thrilled,” she snapped.
“About your parents,” he started.
“What about them?” Her eyes flashed at him.
“We will need to tell them, about me. And swear them to secrecy. There is a reason we aren’t mainstreamed. Our kind isn’t something that most people will accept. We stay quiet about who we are for the sake and safety of our cubs.”
Cubs, she thought. Wait that meant…
“Is my baby going to be like you?” This threw a giant curveball in her future plans. This was not going to be a shared visitation situation if she didn’t know how to care for her child.
Stryker nodded. “Yes, our baby will be a shifter. When they are young they spontaneously shift between forms. We keep them protected, isolated until they are around two. Then their cats go dormant until puberty.”
“Well that should make breastfeeding a hoot,” she scoffed. It was all just surreal and ridiculous at this point.
“Uh, my mom said that doesn’t happen. Cougars know better, they don’t come out when they feed,” he said, clearing his throat.
Shit, this was uncomfortable. His mate needed answers and as long as she was asking them it meant she was still talking to him. So he’d take uncomfortable, hell he’d take pain, as long as she kept talking.
Libby sat for a while letting the scenarios play through her head. Giving birth at home. That baby shifting into a tiny cougar cub. Which, she wasn’t heartless, she knew had to be cute.
But keeping them away from the public for two years? Not being able to share them with friends and neighbors? How was that going to work?
“What do I tell friends and neighbors? I just show up one day with a two-year-old and claim it as mine?” This was not an unreasonable question.
“We usually say that the child was adopted. Explains the age and lack of pregnancy,” Stryker replied.
“Guess you’ve thought of everything. I need to sleep now, can you please leave?”
Stryker didn’t want to go, every fiber of his being was telling him leaving her alone was a bad idea.
“Libby, when you are released will you be coming back to my house?” Stryker had to ask, he needed her close even more now. Being away from a pregnant mate was impossible to a male.
“I don’t know if I can, Stryker. I feel like you’re a stranger. I feel like everything has been fake. How am I supposed to move on from that? Should I even think about it?
Here’s something you don’t know about me. I can hold a mean grudge. Years even. What I want is to g
et better, sleep in my bedroom at my house, go to work, come home and live my life like I did.
But I can’t, not any of it, all because of the choices YOU made for me. You betrayed my trust, Stryker. I have a hard time believing you when you say you love me if you can hurt me so badly,” she finished this as the tears escaped her eyes.
She needed time, she needed space, and he couldn’t give that to her. His cougar wouldn’t allow it.
“I’m going to let you rest. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. His heart bled as she turned away from him her eyes still closed. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. Then one on her blanketed belly then left.
He could hear her sobs as he stood in the hallway. He wanted nothing more than to scoop her into his arms, tell her how sorry he was. That everything was going to be all right. But he was afraid of telling her another untruth.
Stryker was so far out of his depth that he knew he needed help. Pulling out his phone he dialed Dax.
“Stryker, how is she?” His brother didn’t even bother saying hello.
“Better, stable. Fucking pissed,” he said honestly.
“Well, I’m not surprised by that. You need to fix it,” Dax said like it was obvious.
“No shit, Sherlock, how do I do that?” Stryker asked.
“Don’t know, I’ve never fucked up with my mate this bad. Granted our mother pissed her off and then she got kidnapped. But that was hardly my fault,” he remarked nonchalantly.
“I’ve got an idea, it may not work. I don’t think it will make things any worse.”
“Okay, what do you have?” Dax was curious and would help out however he could. Plus he was Alpha and Liberty was now pack. Her happiness fell under his realm of responsibility.
“Can I borrow Effie?” Stryker rushed out.
“Borrow her?”
“Can she come here. Stay for a bit, talk to Libby, human to human? I can’t think of anyone else she would relate to. It might help her give me a chance,” Stryker asked.
“I think we can arrange that you know she’s always willing to help,” Dax answered.
