“All right. Yesterday, Aiden shoved me down the stairs,” Jared said. “He’s mad about Eliza leaving.”
“Thank you,” Neeka said. “I’ll take care of Aiden. Is there anyone else you’ve noticed? Anyone that sets off your alarms?”
“Well, there’s this girl. It seems random when I bump into her. I don’t get anything off her. I mean, I don’t hear magic. Like you are a little stream. Bubbling. And Mom growls.”
“Why does she bother you?”
“She says she knows me. That we hooked up when I was still partying in Kitimat. But I’d remember her. We’ve bumped into each other three times now.”
“Does Party Girl have a name?”
“Mallory.”
Neeka cut across two lanes of traffic to pull into a bus stop. A series of angry honks followed them. She gripped the wheel as if she was about to hulk out.
“Show me her face,” she said.
Jared pictured the girl with the large eyes wearing her rose-painted leather jacket.
Neeka’s rage was not like his mother’s, all curdled and spastic when it washed over you. Neeka’s was cold, like a polar bear dip when you mean to go in up to your knees but slip and dunk your whole self in freezing ocean. A bus honked behind them as Neeka pulled out her cellphone and began furiously texting. One of the people waiting for the bus tapped on Jared’s window.
“You have to move,” the bus person said. “You’re bloc—”
Neeka snapped her head around and the guy put his hands up and backed away. Then she shifted into drive and bullied her way into the traffic. Jared wanted to ask who Party Girl was, but the waves of fury coming off Neeka did not invite questions. Eventually they pulled into the mall where his mom had bought him and Sarah the cellphones.
“She’s my sister,” Neeka said after she’d parked.
“Holy crap,” Jared said. “But she’s not like you at all.”
“Mother used all of us to make herself a powerful witch, but she drained Mallory’s soul more than anyone else’s. Now Mallory doesn’t care who gets hurt as long as she gets her way.”
Jared stared straight ahead. “Sorry.”
“It’s not personal, Jared,” Neeka said. “She’s bumping into you as a way to get to us.”
* * *
—
The clerk who’d sold the cellphones remembered Jared, but he wasn’t going to take the cracked cellphone back without a receipt. Then Neeka smiled and touched his hand and he blushed. Jared walked out with upgrades.
The ride back to Mave’s apartment was silent except for Neeka’s phone, which buzzed, dinged and rang. She didn’t look at Jared or her phone. When they got back to the building, she parked and, as Jared got out, dumped the Rug Doctor and bags of accessories and shampoo on the sidewalk. Then she hopped in the minivan and drove off.
Okay, Jared thought.
Jared saw himself as if he was looking down from a high building, standing like a doofus on the sidewalk, and paused in the middle of picking up the shampoo. The last time they’d shared minds, Wee’git had buggered off without saying it directly, but Jared knew he’d recognized Neeka as one of the otter people in human form, and now he felt his biological dad’s jealousy like a hot sting. He looked up at one of the trees that lined the street and spotted him in raven form.
We need to talk, Wee’git thought at him. Just because you’re ignoring danger doesn’t mean danger is ignoring you. Where is Jwasins?
He felt a fleeting mind touch his. Maybe Wee’git didn’t see himself as an instigator, but nothing was going to get better with him around.
22
QUEENS OF THE ANTHROPOCENE
Lala steam-cleaned the bedroom carpet and then Lourdes took over and steam-cleaned the living room. Lala stood beside Jared as he checked out his new phone, sitting on the counter swinging his legs. She took it from him without asking and added her name and number to his contacts, then Neeka’s, then Lourdes’s. That particular brand of otter politeness must be hereditary, Jared thought.
“Good enough,” Lourdes said, carrying the contraption to the bathroom, where she dumped the dirty water in the toilet and flushed.
Jared knew she was talking to her sister mind to mind, but he couldn’t eavesdrop. He wondered how they kept him out and would have asked, but their expressions were not those of happy campers.
Mave dropped in and clapped her hands. She invited them both for supper.
“We’ve got a family emergency,” Lala said. “We’re going to take off.”
Stay inside tonight, Lourdes said very loudly in his head.
Text us if Mallory comes near you again, Lala added.
But don’t tip her off, Lourdes warned.
“I hope it’s nothing serious,” Mave said.
“Later,” the girls said in unison, heading out the door.
Mave examined the steam cleaner. “This is our lucky day! You don’t think they’ll mind if I do my apartment, do you?”
“There’s buttloads of shampoo left,” Jared said. “And we don’t have to return it until tomorrow.”
* * *
—
They moved Mave’s furniture around and rolled her area rugs up and stacked them on the balcony furniture to keep them out of the blowing rain. While Jared watched, Mave happily cleaned her living room carpet. Sarah emerged from her alcove and headed to the bathroom without saying a word. She had two pink earplugs in her ears and a sleep shade pushed up on her forehead. She came back out rubbing her temples.
“I’m almost done!” Mave said.
“No worries,” Sarah said. I’m so stoned, it’s amazing I didn’t pee the bed, and I still can feel my fucking headache.
Someone named Mallory has Neeka freaked. She’s her sister and we’re supposed to avoid her. Jared pictured Mallory.
“I’m making a coconut, chickpea and root vegetable curry in the slow cooker!” Mave yelled over the cleaner. “It should be ready in an hour!”
Maybe this Mallory will show up and put me out of my misery. Sarah gave Mave two thumbs up then went to lie down in Mave’s room away from the noise. I’m never overdoing magic again.
When she’d finished, Mave threw a set of keys at him. “Jared, can you put the cleaner back in Olive’s apartment?”
“Sure.” Jared gathered all the little bits and dragged the Rug Doctor down the hall. Olive’s door was open. He couldn’t remember if Mave had locked it or not. The lights were all off and the curtains were closed.
He listened but couldn’t hear anything. He rolled the steam cleaner inside and then dumped the other stuff on the kitchen counter. The front door slammed and Jared turned and saw himself. When the doppelgänger tackled him, he realized it was Wee’git borrowing his form. Jared hit the floor, the wind knocked out of him. Wee’git pinned his wrists down.
“Help!” Jared shouted. Sarah!
Wee’git head-butted him and, while Jared was stunned, dragged him into the living room. His biological father then flipped him over and wrapped his arm around Jared’s neck in a chokehold and squeezed until Jared saw dots and dizzying geometric patterns. Wee’git eased off, settling down on Jared’s back.
“Let’s chat,” he said.
“Get off me.”
Wee’git leaned forward and squeezed again, a warning, then relaxed his grip. “I’m not here to hurt you.”
“Good job.”
“Why haven’t you told them about Jwasins?”
* * *
—
Your sister was so beautiful, she never had to ask for anything. Food walked in her door. Firewood was piled by their longhouse. Men lifted her into canoes so her dainty feet never had to touch the water. Jwasins combed her long, lustrous hair in firelight, modestly glancing at the visiting chief who was going to make her his fourth wife. The first spell kept her chin from sagging. Her
next one lifted her eyes. The one that cost her more than the others tightened her stomach after her first child and kept her breasts firm after her first baby was weaned.
You were banished from your village by then and didn’t see her again for a hundred and fifty years. She had a series of boring husbands who didn’t mind the distorted reality beneath her pretty skin. A placid deer husband was her stooge when you first reconnected. She was so friendly to you, weeping, clinging to you: “My brother, oh, my brother.”
She begged you for a spell to reverse the emerging ogress. You gave her charms and ran.
She borrowed magic at first. Then, when her debts grew too large, she started stealing it. When no respectable, law-abiding beings would help her, she began killing.
By the time she resurrected you in the forest, where you’d been stuck to your grave like a bug to flypaper, the beautiful woman Jwasins had once been wasn’t even a shell. The only way she stayed alive was by eating little worms like Jared, too slow and stupid to avoid her.
* * *
—
Jared woke with his wrists stuck behind his back. He wriggled and felt metal. Handcuffs. Back against the wall. Wee’git crouched beside him with his hand on Jared’s chest.
“This is not cool,” Jared said. “This is why you can’t be in my life.”
Wee’git took his hand back. “I’m the least of your worries, and you can’t even handle me.”
“What do you want?”
“You told Chuck your organs were running around.”
“Why do you care?”
“You’re the first Trickster born in generations. That means something.”
Jared turned his head, refusing to look at Wee’git.
“Jared,” Wee’git said. “What you have coiled in one of the chambers of your heart is a hex.”
Jared reluctantly faced Wee’git. “Can you change forms? It’s weird looking at me.”
“Listen, you goof. I’m not here for funsies.”
Jared shifted, his hands tingling. “So why are you here?”
“I can’t dig the hex out. Jwasins has melded it to you. You can remember her, but you can’t tell anyone about her, right? It’s one of her old standbys for infiltrating tasty witch nests. Her first victim becomes her unwitting eyes and ears. I don’t know what she did to the other Tricksters. I suspect she used their organs to make transformational skins for her pack. The skins are still tied to their owners, so when they die, the skins die, and vice versa. I can’t figure out why she doesn’t just grab you.”
Jared felt sick.
“I can’t find her,” Wee’git said. “She’s not normally the hiding type. Especially with her coy goons. They were just everyday nihilists until they met her and got ambitious.”
“What are nihilists?”
Wee’git studied him, twitching. “You need to read more.”
“You need to kidnap less.”
Jared remembered the way Georgina had unhinged her jaw, remembered the glee she took in rampaging through the pocket universe filled with dolphins. Jared looked down at the carpet, hoping he wasn’t broadcasting, embarrassed to have been such a fool. He was normally a better psycho detector.
Wee’git stood. “Nihilists think there’re no gods, that rules and morals are meaningless, so why not fuck things up? The coy wolves I’ve had the misfortune to encounter believe the world is ending, so why not kill and eat anything, anybody, in any way that tickles their fancy?”
“Oh,” Jared said.
“Oh? That’s your total response?”
“That explains some things.”
“Jwasins has gone through a lot of trouble to hex you, which means I can foil her plans by dragging you to Chuck’s cabin—”
“What good would that do?” Jared interrupted. “I’d just put Chuck in danger.”
“Jared, once you see a Wild Man of the Woods angry, you never unsee it. He’s made many friends like Sophia. He’s not someone you cross. You’ll be safe there.”
“What about everyone else? I’m not leaving them when I’m the one who put them in danger,” Jared said.
“Or I can text your mom with your phone and tell her Jwasins put a hex on you. But I need to check out Mave’s apartment and figure out if Jwasin has laid any delightful traps for you there.”
“Fine. I’ll take Mave to Timmy’s or something. Sarah’s trying to sleep off a headache and won’t know you’re there.”
“You stay put. I’ll go as you and she’ll never even know.”
“You’re not being fair,” Jared said.
“Those are your choices.”
“It’s not fair to Mave,” Jared said. “This is why people don’t trust you.”
“Deal or no deal?”
Jared tried to shift, shrink his hands so he could slip through the cuffs, but all that happened was that his organs rumbled.
“You blew too much power,” Wee’git said. “You’re completely drained. It’ll be a hundred years before you can shape-change again. Unless you borrow. Or steal. Or kill.”
“You could just tell Mave who you are. You could walk in and tell her you’re Wade. She has good memories of you.”
Wee’git stared at him. “You’re going to love Chuck’s veggie chili. Well, you’ll get used to it.”
When he reached down to haul him up, Jared said, “Wait.”
Wee’git dropped his hands.
“Make it quick,” Jared said.
“Stay here, stay safe. Got it?”
“Fine.”
Wee’git unlocked the cuffs, pulled Jared’s phone from his pocket and gave it back to him. Then studied Jared’s face. Jared found it deeply creepy as his bio dad made tiny adjustments so they matched.
“Behave,” Wee’git said.
* * *
—
Jared righted the tipped rug cleaner. The apartment was empty, so he had nothing to do. No one had sent him any messages. He couldn’t hear Sarah. Or Wee’git. But no one had screamed in horror. His slacks were clammy from sitting on the damp carpet. The apartment reeked of cleaner. He was tempted to open a window, but he didn’t. He paced. He sat on the linoleum in the dining area.
Dead Aiden’s face poked through the living room wall. Jared got up, and by the time he was upright, Dead Aiden was gone.
An hour and a half later, the door unlocked and his Trickster twin walked in, held his hand out for Jared’s phone and then quickly typed a text. He showed Jared, but Jared couldn’t focus on the words. He felt the sense of things slipping and Wee’git grabbed his arms before he fell.
“She has someone watching you,” Wee’git said. “The apartment’s a mess of dead magic, though. They’re hard to track.”
“Okay.”
“All your psychos now know that Jwasins is pulling the strings,” Wee’git said. “Wait ten minutes before you go back to Mave’s.”
He put Jared’s phone and the apartment keys on the kitchen counter. After a long silence in which he stared at his son, Wee’git said, “You’d be safe with Chuck. He can protect you.”
Jared could feel Wee’git’s longing to be part of a family. His frustration that all the closeness he wanted had dropped in Jared’s lap like ripe fruit, but Jared never bit. Then Wee’git became aware of Jared being aware of his leaking thoughts and he stomped away.
Jared didn’t wait even a moment before he grabbed his phone and the keys and sprinted down the hallway. Just as he got to Mave’s door, Mallory stepped out of the stairwell, opening her jacket to show him a gun. She hit the elevator button.
“Move,” she said when the door chimed open.
“No,” Jared said.
She aimed the revolver at him. What a useless piece of hardware, Jared thought. Who cheaps out on a gun? Especially if you’re trying to kidnap someone. He was thoroughly sick of bein
g kidnapped. Dead Aiden appeared in the hallway, miming eating popcorn, smug satisfaction on his face. Mallory glanced at him.
“A little birdie told me you have an evil twin,” she said. “One who was visiting Mave while the other one sat by himself in an empty apartment.”
“I’m talented that way,” Jared said.
“Get in the elevator.”
“Shoot me.”
“It would just be a flesh wound. It wouldn’t kill you, but it would be painful.”
“I’d love to see you try to drag my fat ass away.”
“You’d be bleeding and screaming.”
The elevator doors chimed shut.
Mallory pointed to Mave’s door with her gun. “Then let’s pay your aunt a visit.”
“Her door is locked. Sarah won’t open it for you. And one of the neighbours is bound to call the cops because of all the screaming I’ll be doing.”
“Give me your key.”
“Don’t have one. Just kick the door in. See what that gets you.”
“Think you’re funny?”
“Neeka’s looking for you. She’s thinks you’re soulless.”
Mallory aimed at his head. Their breathing was the only movement either of them made. If he moved fast enough, if he grabbed the gun before she fired, he could knock it away like in the movies. Maybe. Then she abruptly lowered her gun, pointing it at the floor.
“You’re going to bring Georgina back,” she said.
“No, I won’t.”
“Morality is arbitrary, a bunch of rules to keep the sheep from wandering out of their pen. Neeka doesn’t understand that. She’s too blind and stupid to see the world as it is.”
“That’s easy to say when she isn’t here.”
“You and I, we’re going to be together for a thousand, thousand years.”
“You aren’t my type.”
“I’m not joking.”
“If you love someone, let them go. And if you have to point a gun at them to get them to talk to you, it’s probably not meant to be.”
Return of the Trickster Page 19
