by M. Merin
“I heard you’ll be working with Gunner tomorrow. Would it be too weird if Danny and I brought you lunch?” Jessa shyly asks me, ignoring my comment about Michaels and clueing me into what she was nervous about asking me. “I’d like to see what you’re working on.”
“I’d love that,” I beam down at her. I know she can’t see my face in her dark room but she must feel my heart beating faster since she tightens her arms around me.
Chapter 10
Shade
“Chill the fuck out,” Gunner’s low voice hisses again. “You’re gonna cut a finger off if you don’t.”
I’m pretty sure he mumbles something about knocking my ass out after this latest warning. I’ve never had anyone who cared enough to see what I did so I can’t stop looking at the door every time I hear a noise.
It’s not quite noon when I hear Gunner’s laughter in the main part of the shop. I hurry up and flush the toilet, remembering to wash my hands so I can safely hold my son.
“I hope you don’t mind?” Jessa is asking him as I walk out of the back room of the converted barn.
“Nah, um, you sure you don’t want me to hold that?” He indicates the car seat holding my son, turning away at the shake of her head. “That section over there is what Shade’s been doing. Filling orders of my regular product line while I’ve been working on special requests,” he points out what I’m doing and I feel proud when her eyes widen.
“Jessa,” I smile, letting them know I’m there.
“These are so awesome!” She smiles at me before turning back to him. “Gunner, I’ve heard about your work since I got to town but Shade, the pieces the two of you are doing are beautiful!”
“They’re Gunner’s designs and Riley has expanded his website to get him more sales, but yeah, I’ve been enjoying the work,” I swear I feel my chest swell in pride. “Hey, can we unwrap Danny a bit so I can show him off?”
“Sorry, of course! Since the temp dropped a bit today, I bundled him all up,” Jessa responds, waving her hand towards the door. Gunner points to a work bench where she can put the carrier down and I cross to her, giving her a kiss in greeting before I lift my little guy out. Danny sleepily opens his green eyes at the movement, giving us all a scowl at his nap being disturbed.
“Jesus, Jessa!” Gunner chuckles. “Shade said Danny was his mini-me, but fuck. Let’s hope that boy has some of you somewhere in there too, huh?”
“Yeah, no paternity test needed with those two,” she rolls her eyes, smiling up at us as Gunner slides his finger into Danny’s hand.
“Your word would have been enough for me, Jessa,” I assure her quietly. “Maybe our next one will take after you?”
Jessa
My cheeks flame scarlet at his words and I turn back to Gunner. “I picked up an extra sandwich for you. I wasn’t sure…”
“Nah, I have a meeting to get to, and then Riley will be home from school,” he says, turning to head out. “Shade, you lock up when you take off for the day, ok?”
Once we’re left alone in the shop, Shade explains more about his projects here. When I hear his stomach rumble, I go back out to the car to grab the food. I can’t help but to pause before I reenter the shop. My heart had started doing somersaults at the thought of having another child. Of giving Danny the large family I had always wished for, but I know Shade and I have miles to go before we get to that point.
Over lunch, Shade asks me about my life and I find myself telling him everything. About growing up an only child in central Michigan. We weren’t rich or poor, and every other year we would drive west to visit Aunt Ellie, with her coming to see us on the odd years.
My parents died shortly before my eighteenth birthday and Ellie came out to stay with me while I finished high school. She was still trying to finalize her on-going divorce. Her own daughter already married and living in Texas, so that was a non-issue.
The Sheriff, knowing the situation with her occasionally abusive husband, gave her a leave of absence without any risk of losing her job. She helped me clear out and sell the home I was raised in, most of which was bank owned anyways. I knew she wasn’t happy with me moving into a small two-bedroom with my high school sweetheart as I started on my Associates degree, but she treated me like an adult and accepted my decision.
“What happened with him?” Shade asks when my voice finally drifts off.
“At some point, he started sleeping with our roommate,” my cheeks turn red at how I found out that my boyfriend of almost four years was gay.
“Shit, Rosy,” he leans forward, cupping my face and staring into my eyes. “Want me to kill him for you?”
I choke on my pop, my eyes widening. “No, that’s not…no. It wasn’t even another girl. I think that would have been worse. At some point, he realized he was gay.”
“Son of a bitch!” It’s Shade’s turn to choke on his drink with that little disclosure. “You walked in on them?”
I nod at his question. “We were so close for so long. When I found out, I was just so mad that he couldn’t talk to me. That at that point, he didn’t even trust our friendship enough to be honest with me. I don’t even know if Martin was the first one he experimented with. He wasn’t exactly forthcoming so I went to get tested. The wait for the results was the longest nine days of my life and each day I got angrier at him for putting me through that. My tests came back clean though.”
“Um. Does that mean you’ve tried anal?” Shade asks next and my jaw drops open. “What? It’s a fair question considering his…”
“NO!” I’m torn between smacking Shade and covering Danny’s ears. “We never did that.”
“We will,” he smirks at me. “You like it when I get dirty with you, Jessa. Trust me when I promise you’ll cum nice and hard when I claim your ass.”
“The things you say are…you know you can’t talk like that around Danny,” I finally stutter out.
“Fine. By the time he’s six months, I won’t say any dirty shit in front of our son – who has no idea what we’re talking about. You’ll still get an earful when it’s just us, Rosy. Don’t fucking doubt that.” Shade promises and takes a swig of his pop.
“Apparently not just an earful!” I shoot out and he makes an awful sound, grabbing his nose as he continues to snort and pinch the bridge of his nose.
“Shit! Jessa! I just inhaled half this Sprite up my nose.” He moans and I can’t help but to laugh while he blows his nose into a napkin.
“Serves you right.” I proclaim, lifting my nose in the air and giving him an evil grin.
“Being gay would be the only reason in the world a guy would give you up,” Shade says after a moment and I raise my eyebrows in question. “You’re the full package, Rosy. I meant what I said to you the other day. I won’t fuck around on you.”
“Did you with other women you were with?” I instantly want to kick myself the moment I ask that question, knowing that it makes me sound needy and weak.
“Never fucked any one regular before, Jessa. Never dated, so it never came up,” he shrugs, continuing after a pause. “I guess I only asked you for advice on being a dad, truth is I’m winging this relationship stuff, too. Feel free to tell me when I screw up.”
“You’ll know when you fuck up because she’ll stop speaking to you until you make it right,” Wrench’s deep voice comes from the doorway, startling us both. “Might as well get a head start and buy her flowers once a week. That’s what I do with Amy.”
Shade
Wrench smirks at me as he walks further into the barn. “My Ol’ Lady sent me by to pick up the porch swing. Glad I’ll get to see this boy you been bragging on, though.”
“Hi, Wrench,” Jessa smiles at him and I want to turn her head back to face mine. Instantly jealous that she’d share her smile with anyone else.
“You weren’t kidding, Shade,” Wrench laughs when I hold Danny up. “Still want to move on those papers?”
“Jessa,” I say, looking between them. “I was going to tal
k to you more about it today. I want my name on Danny’s birth certificate. That’s really fucking important to me and Wrench downloaded the papers to get to work on it.”
The stunned look on her face pisses me off. And seeing it, Wrench walks over towards the swing he’s here for, to give us a minute.
“Let me think about it, okay, Shade?” Jessa softly replies.
I nod and hold my temper, knowing it’s misplaced. I walk over to Wrench to help him get it loaded in his truck.
Once it’s situated in the back of his truck, he grips my shoulder. “I’m here if you need to vent, Brother.”
“How about we spar tomorrow morning?” I suggest.
“Fuck that, I’ll send some probies in with you but Amy’ll lose her shit if you hurt my face!” He holds his hands up in surrender.
“It’ll only make you better looking,” I laugh at him.
“She appreciates the structure of my fine African heritage just the way it is, asshole.” He grins at me before reaching into his pocket for a piece of paper. “I went over our numbers from our first born. This is what it cost us during Amy’s pregnancy and buying shit to get started. Gotta figure my kid’s age and I don’t know Jessa’s insurance situation. You said you wanted to pay her back, so not counting inflation this is what it was back then.”
I let out a whistle at the bottom line. I’ve got the money, I’m not worried about that but it must have freaked Jessa out when she was doing it alone.
“Um, what’s this number on the bottom here?” I ask, not making sense of the string of digits he wrote along the edge of the paper.
“From what I’ve heard about her, Jessa’s not the type who’ll easily take your money. I figured you could just make a deposit if you had her bank account number,” he grins at me. That wily bastard is one reason not to trust banks.
“I owe you,” I nod at him as he shifts his truck into gear.
“Hey,” he calls me back. “It’s really cool the way you’re stepping up. Any advice you need, I’m here for you, Brother.”
I smack the side of his truck. Not able to verbalize a reply. As he’s pulling away, I look over and see Jessa exiting the barn with Danny all wrapped up tight in his carrier.
“I should get him home for a proper nap,” she smiles at me and I see her wrestle with the slightly warped door of her car. My mind flashes to the number that Wrench just showed me and I know what I’m gonna do.
“Can I see you tonight?” I murmur into her ear, after kissing her cheek.
“Um, I’ll just be at home. I have work starting at five tomorrow night. Roy might be there. I don’t know, they just do their own thing on my nights off.”
“I’ll swing by. Maybe put my son to sleep?” I check out her ass as she snaps his car seat into place.
Jessa leans up for a kiss when Danny’s all set and I love the feeling of how comfortable this is. Watching her drive off, I text Gunner, letting him know that I’m taking off early. I head into town, eager to get everything done that I’ve suddenly planned.
*
Just before seven, I’m pulling up to Ellie’s house; part of a three vehicle motorcade. I’m on my Hog, the guy from the dealership is in pulling up with the Explorer I got Jessa, and his ride back to the lot is behind him. I also made a nice deposit into her account before I hit up the dealership.
Running up to the house with the keys to her new truck in one hand and flowers in my other hand, my mood goes south when Roy opens the door. Like he usually seems to do whenever I come by.
His eyes narrow as he takes in the truck parked at the curb, but he stands back without a word. “Hi, Ellie!” I greet her and look around for Jessa.
“They’re upstairs,” Ellie nods back to me in reply, her eyes widening when I hand her a bouquet and kiss her on the cheek. Roy starts muttering behind me as I take the steps two at a time and that’s all the thanks I need for her little treat.
I hear Jessa’s sweet voice, singing Take It Easy as I’m hitting the top of the stairs. When I get up to the hallway, I immediately see her kneeling by the bathtub, caring for our son. Danny’s little arms are waving in the air as she uses a washcloth to clean those curls of his and I smile at the random noises coming from his mouth in response to her singing.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” I say from the doorway.
“Come here,” she says without turning around. “Feel the water so you’ll know the temperature if you have to clean him.” I kneel beside her and sink my hands in the lukewarm water. Danny’s in some sort of a baby plastic tub, half covered in water, with a washcloth over his privates. Having gotten sprayed the other day, I get why that’s so important.
Danny’s eyes lift up to my face and the noises he’s making intensify – my jaw drops.
“He recognizes me!” I nearly shout out. “Jessa, did you see? He knows me.” Fuck! This is all kinds of insane. I’ve only been around him a handful of times but I swear, my little guy knows me.
I’m scared to look away from him but as her silence stretches on, I look down at her and immediately take her in my arms. “What is it, Jessa? Don’t cry, sweet girl.”
“You really want to sign up for dad duties, don’t you?” She answers on a shuddering breath.
I press my forehead to hers before reaching behind her for his towel. “Can I take him out?”
She stands back, trailing behind me as I carry him to his room. Quickly seeing the diaper and onesie she had put aside for him, I do my best to repeat everything she’s taught me, in the right order – until it hits me what I forgot.
“Oh, milk,” I wink at her. “Daddy forgot about that, little man.” I loudly whisper that confession to him before kissing his forehead and inhaling his baby smell.
“Just a little, he’ll be tired from his bath,” she comes forward to take him from me, adjusting her shirt to give him access. “A few sips and he’ll sleep like a lamb.”
“So, he’ll leave enough for his daddy?” I ask hopefully, wrapping my arms around my family. Loving the view I get as she feeds him.
“Go to my room,” Jessa nudges her ass back to push me away from her.
Jessa
About twenty minutes later, I cross the hall to find Shade in the same state I left his son in. He’s starfished on my bed. I sigh and crawl in, trying to get comfortable around his limbs.
The next morning, I awake to the sounds of Ellie feeding Danny – coming in loud and clear over the baby monitor. Smiling to myself at her kindness, I steal a few moments of happiness from being wrapped in Shade’s arms.
“She’s fucking awesome,” his sleep-roughened voice sounds off in my ear.
“I know.” I try to burrow further into his arms.
“I gotta go away for a few days, Rosy. Can’t tell you anything, but I’ll behave and get back to you fast,” he nuzzles into my neck. “When I’m home, we need to have that talk about his birth certificate. That’ll give you time to think about it.”
“Stay safe for us, Shade,” I whisper, wishing I could stay in his arms a little longer.
“Gonna keep you safe, too,” he replies and I turn to look at him, wondering what he means. “Before I fell asleep - at the same time as our son, I was going to give you this.”
He reaches over to a pile of his belongings on the side table, fishing out a car fob.
“You and Danny need something better to get around in. It’s less than two years old, low mileage, and paid in full,” he slips the fob into my hand. “Parked right outside.”
“Shade! No, I can’t!” I gasp and he laughs.
“Can’t exactly return it and I already have a truck,” he says, while I’m still absorbing the shock of having a dependable vehicle to drive. “’Sides, it’s in your name. If I drive off in it, Michaels’ll pick me up for grand theft auto. It’ll be like a wet dream for him.”
“Not funny. He’s been really good to me,” I say defensively and he peels away, sitting up on what’s quickly becoming his side of the bed and reachi
ng for his boots.
“You’ll want to get your insurance updated on it pretty fast. The papers are in the center console,” he bites out. I can feel his mood change and hesitate to reach out to him. “I’ll text you when I’m back.”
“Shade? You’re upset with me, can you stay a minute?” I ask.
He walks to the door without looking back at me. “I’m trying here, Jessa,” Shade says softly before he heads out.
I hear him make a quick stop in Danny’s room before the sound of his boots on the stairs travel back to me. I sit, frozen on the bed, not completely sure what just happened.
Chapter 11
Jessa
That night at the station has the deputies responding to a crazy amount of 911 calls. The lead officer on duty has me call the Sheriff halfway through the shift. Before Michaels can get in, a drunk and disorderly guy that I’m finger printing reaches up and grabs my throat without any warning.
I can’t even get a squeak out, let alone suck any air into my lungs. Slapping his wrists proves useless but my arm swings wide, sending a plastic inbox flying and finally drawing attention to us. I hear Smith calling out for Walker as he strides towards us. The drunk holding onto me shoves me away from him and pain bursts in my skull before everything goes dark.
*
The next time I wake, my mouth is horribly dry and I can hear people arguing but the lights hurt my eyes and I close them again, drifting off.
*
I feel my baby nursing, then slowly realize it’s the pump and can’t make sense of who would be pumping me. “What?” I try to croak out.
“Ah…Ms. Hall, wait, let me…” a woman’s voice drifts off. The pump is removed and suddenly I feel ice pressed against my lips.
I eagerly suck that in, looking around the room but only seeing a nurse. “I’ve called the doctor,” she says. “Someone will be here shortly to explain everything.”
“Where is?” I try my rusty voice again.
“Your aunt is at home with your son. She asked that we keep to a pumping schedule for you,” she looks quickly over her shoulder at the door. “There’s also a man camped out in the lobby. I don’t know his name but he’s in the MC. Since you live with her, your aunt is the only one with permission to visit you and there have been some arguments.”
