by Robin Gianna
He and Bree looked at each other at the same time. “Rip current took him, don’t you think? I hope he knows to let it take him north until he’s out of it,” she said.
“Yeah.” They both turned to the water again, and he heard Bree exclaim and point at the exact same time he saw it, too. A second head, about the same distance out as the other, and this person seemed to be working way too hard to fight the current.
He stood. “This isn’t good. That one guy is going to exhaust himself, and there’s no way the lifeguard’s going to be able to help both of them. I’ll be back.”
She stood, too, clutching Will and staring at Sean, her face etched with worry, but she gave a quick nod. “Be careful.”
He mimicked the lifeguard’s movements, taking big leaping strides over the waves until it was too deep to do that, then swimming hard. He could feel the rip in the sand making the water pull him out, which wasn’t normally a good thing, but in this instance it was. Getting to one of the struggling swimmers as fast as possible might be critical. People unfamiliar with riptides typically fought hard to get back into shore, but, with the water sucking them back out, it was a battle even the strongest swimmer wasn’t likely to win.
He saw the lifeguard helping the first swimmer, which he could now see was a woman. “Hey, I’m here to help,” he shouted, pausing and pointing for just a second to let the lifeguard know. “I’ll get the other one.”
She gave him a thumbs-up as she held the swimmer in her arm and let the waves take them up the beach just a bit, away from the rip so they could swim back to shore. Sean focused on the other swimmer. He looked like a fairly big guy, and he was flailing now, starting to go under each wave longer every time.
Sean kicked harder and grabbed the man from the back, wrapping his arms around the guy’s barrel chest, hoping he didn’t freak out and start flailing around, dragging both of them under. “I’ve got you. Relax.”
The guy didn’t react. Didn’t fight him or the waves, and for a split second Sean was relieved. Then realized it was because he’d fallen unconscious just seconds after Sean grabbed him.
Gritting his teeth with impatience, he had to let the tide take them just a bit farther before he knew for sure they were out of the rip and he’d be able to swim to shore. He held the guy against his chest and, heading backward, kicked as hard as he could to get to shore, which seemed to take forever. Finally, he hit shallow enough water to drag the man to the beach, lay him on his back and administer CPR if it was necessary.
With the shallow waves gently lapping against the prone guy’s sides, Sean stuck his ear next to the man’s mouth to see if he could feel any air coming out, and saw the shapely legs of Bree Donovan, and Will in his seat by her side.
“Is he breathing?”
“Can’t tell.” He pressed his fingers against the guy’s pulse. “Don’t think there’s a pulse.”
“The lifeguard truck’s driving up the beach, so they know he needs help.” She quickly squatted down. “Let me open his airway while you do chest compressions.”
He watched her tilt the man’s jaw back, pinch his nose closed and breathe. Sean started chest compressions, counting out loud to thirty. Then Bree breathed into his mouth again.
Nothing. Her eyes lifted to meet Sean’s for a split second, her mouth pressed into a grim line. “Again.”
They went through the cycle once more, and Sean was relieved to hear the siren getting close. Except it might be too late. But just as he grimly hoped it wasn’t, the man’s chest heaved in a shuddering breath before he began to cough.
“Help me roll him. I bet he’s going to throw up water,” Bree said. They both pushed him to his side, and water spewed from the man’s mouth as he coughed and gagged.
Feet ran their way, and the cavalry took over. Bree, cool, competent ER doctor that she was, filled them in as they asked questions of her and the man. He couldn’t talk yet, but he was nodding, and Sean was filled with the kind of exhilaration he didn’t get to feel too often as a surgeon. Yes, he had emergency surgeries that saved people’s lives, but this? Pulling the guy out of the water and getting his heart and lungs started again, instantly seeing him alive and awake and functioning? Now, that was a damned good day.
“Dr. Sean Latham is the hero here,” he heard Bree say, and looked up from their patient to see her gesturing at him and smiling with the kind of pride and admiration he hadn’t seen on her face for a long time. “He swam out to get him out of the rip, brought him back to shore, then did CPR. Pretty darn good for a surgeon used to working in an operating room, don’t you think?”
The lifeguards pumped his hand, congratulating and thanking him, and while Sean nodded and smiled, he barely heard it. He kept getting distracted by the woman standing a few feet away. The way her hair, now half dry, curled on the ends, the sunlight making it gleam in rose-gold waves as it fluttered in the breeze. The way her admiring green eyes focused on him. The way her beautiful lips curved into a wide smile.
This would probably be the last time he’d ever see her like this, standing on a beach, which was such a part of who she was. Of her identity. And he was filled with the same kind of pride he could see in her eyes. The same love. Wrong for one another that they were, he knew at that moment he couldn’t regret having known her and loved her for a time, because he was richer for it. And when she left he’d accept that pain, because having shared a year of his life with her was worth every second of it.
He picked up Will’s carrier in one hand and reached to her with the other. “Let’s get packed and Will back to the house.”
The ride back felt strained for the first few minutes, until Sean couldn’t stand it. He talked about the rescue and the swimmers and the lifeguards, because he wanted to go back to some kind of normalcy between them for their last hours together. Something that felt better than this...this discomfort. This sudden distance, like those first days after the accident, and it struck him how long ago that seemed. Like weeks instead of days, probably because so much had happened. And despite the chaos, he and Bree had fallen into step again, in an odd way. Resuming the rhythm of their former life together, sometimes in sync, and at other times completely out of step, like this moment.
Conversation dried up as Sean stashed away the equipment and Bree put a tuckered-out Will into bed. When she returned to the kitchen, her backpack was in her hand, and they stood awkwardly staring at one another. “You’re working tomorrow, right?” he asked, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Actually, no. It’s all been so hectic, I haven’t finished up what I need to do to move and get ready for the competition. So I said my goodbyes. I’m done there.”
If he thought he’d been aching all day at the thought of her leaving, it was nothing compared to this. A sensation that felt as if all his insides had been sucked out, just like the sand and water pouring through the riptide, leaving unwary victims to drown.
She must have seen it on his face and he tried to turn away, but she reached out and grabbed his hand. Tightened her grip as she stepped in front of him, her expression tense and forlorn and determined all at the same time. “Sean. You know I have to go.”
He knew, and yet he didn’t, and the question quietly left his lips. “Why?”
“You know why. I’m a competitor. A traveler. I’ve lived my entire life with a suitcase in one hand and a tennis racket or surfboard in the other. I chose emergency medicine instead of a practice because it works for who I am. For my goals and all the things I’ve wanted for myself for as long as I can remember.”
“And then what? When you’re older and not competing in sports anymore?”
“I don’t know yet.” She looked up at him, her eyes begging him to understand. But he didn’t. Didn’t understand today any more than he had six months ago. “There’ll be a new adventure. New places to travel. New mountain
s to climb.”
“And that’s what you want to be.” He stated it flatly, because she’d already told him more times than he’d wanted to hear.
“That’s who I am.” She stepped close and moved her hands to flatten them against his chest. “I understand that not a lot of people want to live like that. That you like a few vacations here and there, but mostly you’re a home-and-hearth kind of man. Want the kind of life you grew up with. But if I didn’t have my goals, my competitions, I’d have nothing. Don’t you understand that?”
“You’d have me.” Saying it laid his heart on the table, but it was already so bruised there was nothing she could do or say to make it hurt worse.
“I’m not enough for you, Sean. I’m not the kind of woman you want. That you need.” She slid her arms around his neck and pressed her cheek to his. “I love you. So much. But I’ve realized our breakup had to happen. If we’d stuck together, soon, you’d get frustrated with my travels, and with me. You’d resent not having kids running around in your backyard. Probably stop traveling with me. Then we’d just be apart half the time anyway. And if I stopped doing the things I need to do, I’d be the one resenting it. Don’t you see? It’s better for both of us to live our lives the way we want to, fulfill our dreams, and that can’t happen if we’re together.”
He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. There wasn’t anything to say that hadn’t been said too many times already. She’d said she wasn’t enough for him? That wasn’t it, and she had to know it. The truth was, she didn’t believe he was enough for her, and she was probably right. “I love you, too, Bree. So much. You know that. And I wish only the best for you, and that your life gives you everything you want.” His throat and heart felt raw as he lifted his head to look at her. “Anything I can do to help you get packed?”
She smiled, but it didn’t touch her eyes. “I was about to ask you if I could help with Will another couple days.”
“I thought your event was in three days. You can’t fly to Hawaii and run straight to the beach with your surfboard, you know.” He tried to shove some humor into his voice, but couldn’t seem to make it happen.
“There are plenty of competitions ahead of me. I think I’ll bow out of this one. Stay until I have to start work, so you can concentrate on getting a nanny for Will and all the nursing care and physical therapy in place for your mom and Emma.”
He felt so stunned, he couldn’t do more than stare at her for ten long seconds. “You’ve been training for that thing since before we broke up.”
“Yeah, well, things happen. And helping with Will and Emma and your mom is important.”
Generous. The woman was so generous, on top of everything else. He wanted to grab her and smash her against his chest and kiss her and tell her how amazing she was. Take her up on her offer and keep her in San Diego for a few more hours. For the rest of his life. But he didn’t. Couldn’t. Hadn’t she just said competing was who she was? Last thing he’d ever want would be to stop her from being that person, because there was no one like her in the entire world.
“Thanks for the offer. But I have a nanny lined up already. We’ll be okay without you.” Neither statement was true. He was getting close to finding the right nursemaid, as soon as Emma met the three he’d narrowed it down to. But the other? Survive, maybe, but he’d never be okay. “I want you to go to Hawaii and knock ’em dead.”
“I’ll try,” she whispered, a sheen of tears in her beautiful eyes. “I’ll do my best to win it for all the Lathams I love.”
She cupped his face in her hands and gave him the sweetest, most emotional kiss of his life. When she pulled away, he yanked her back and kissed her long and hard until he finally had to let her go. She turned to grab her backpack, and without another word she was gone.
CHAPTER TEN
“OH, I’VE JUST been dying to come back to Hawaii again!” Marcia Donovan exclaimed as she shoved a straw hat with a pink hibiscus pinned to it onto her head and perched in one of the beach chairs lined up to watch the surf competition. “I’m so excited that you’ve moved here and plan to compete more often. It’s a dream come true for me.”
Bree nearly asked why her mother’s dreams were always based on Bree’s goals and plans instead of coming up with her own, but closed her lips again. Hadn’t she promised herself she’d be more understanding of her mother’s love for her, even if it bordered on obsession? “I’m glad you’re having fun. And it’s going to be good to have you help me get my stuff together in the apartment. Probably would have been half together for a long time if I’d had to do it all myself.”
“I still don’t understand why you’re starting work as soon as you’re scheduled to, but you never listen to me anyway.” The smile on her face took any annoyance out of the words. “What number are you again?”
“Seven.” Bree squinted at the other competitors congregating at the shoreline. “Speaking of which, I need to get over there. See you after, okay?”
She positioned her board under her arm and got in the queue, her belly feeling a little strange. There was always an element of nerves and tenseness before a big event like this, but somehow that didn’t seem to be it. And as she looked around at all the people clustered as far as she could see on the beach, it struck her exactly what it was.
Sean wasn’t there. For the first time since they’d started dating, there was no tall, handsome man standing in the crowd, the sun glinting off his chestnut hair, giving her a thumbs-up over everyone’s head. Flashing a big, proud smile and pumping his fist after a good run. And despite the thousands of people on the sand, the beach felt strangely empty.
She turned to study the waves, analyzing how they were breaking, but kept seeing Sean instead. Yes, she’d been in a dozen or so events in California since their breakup, but they’d all been small and more of a training session for Bree than a real competition. But this one was big-time. A major surf event televised around the world.
Would he be watching from his living room? From the doctors’ lounge at the hospital? Would he want to see her compete, or try, instead, to forget all about her as soon as he could? Probably forget her, and still following her second career of surfing wouldn’t be the best way to make that happen. He deserved the kind of woman he wanted. The kind of woman Bree just wasn’t capable of being.
A child shrieked in delight and she turned again to look at the masses gathered on the beach. Old and young, couples and families. A woman stood holding a baby just a month or so older than Will, and a pang of emotion stabbed her chest that she wasn’t going to get to see him grow up, though of course that was silly. She could visit Emma anytime she wanted, except that might open up the awful possibility of seeing Sean with a new girlfriend on his arm. Maybe even a wife and child of his own.
She drew in a deep breath of salty air and watched the first surfer head into the water. Tried hard to concentrate on the event. Thought about her dad, and how he’d texted her earlier that he’d be watching, and how much she’d love to hold that winning trophy up high for all the world to see. Thought about how great that felt when she was able to make that happen. Thought again about tiny Will, and how she’d like to teach him to surf someday, and how he might be impressed with those trophies the way other people often were, enough to actually listen.
She knew those moments would be few and far between, living so far away. Which was a good thing, even though it didn’t feel like it right then. As she headed into the water, she found she was picturing Will’s little face and Sean’s smile, and somehow both helped her focus on what she had to do to tackle the giant waves in front of her. Do what she’d trained to do.
Which was win.
* * *
Sean stared at the television image as he absently patted the baby on his shoulder, barely noticing the short but loud burp in his ear.
“That was a good one
!” Emma said.
He glanced up to try to focus on his sister, seeing her pause in her computer search with a wide grin on her face. “Because he takes after you. I remember how you used to burp as loud as possible, and Mom would get mad at you while Dad laughed.”
“And I still don’t like it,” his mother said as she moved slowly down the hallway toward the living room. “Not ladylike at all. Never understood why all the rest of you thought it was so funny.”
Emma tried to burp as she had as a teen, and his mom frowned at her instead of getting the joke. She started in again on the importance of being polite and genteel, and Sean had to interrupt if he had any chance of hearing what the commentators were saying on the television. Which then became even more unlikely when Will started crying. “You know, if it weren’t for that whole near-death thing for all of you, I’d say this house has gotten awfully loud and crowded,” he said.
“You know you love having us here,” Emma said with another mischievous grin.
Truthfully, he both did and didn’t. He loved all three of them, and was thankful every day that they were still here on Earth. Not to mention he’d hated the horrible, empty quiet when it had been just him all alone after Bree left. But, strangely, even with his house overflowing with family, in some ways it felt lonely anyway. And his sister bugging him about getting back on the dating train and his mother fussing about all kinds of things weren’t exactly relaxing, though he wasn’t about to complain considering everything.
His attention was caught again by the beautiful surfer with fiery golden hair, maneuvering a thirty-foot wave with the grace of a sleek dolphin born in the sea.
“Sean,” his mother said in a gently chiding voice as she took the baby from his arms. “How many times are you going to watch that recording? The competition was over a week ago. Maybe you should just delete it. It’s not good for you if you’re trying to move on.”
